“Everything is going to be alright, sweetheart,” my mother would remind me as I relayed the latest drama in my life. She was a sweet and comforting presence who could calmly get me back to reality long enough to help me reframe what seemed like an insurmountable dilemma.

Everything as a preteen was challenging and yet somehow, a little chat with Mom would invariably help me to see beyond that very second when I felt so upset and defeated. Everything seemed doable with those initial words that she offered as her best consolation.

She would always add, “You’ll feel better in the morning,” which would invariably come to pass.

A Trip to Another World Begins

My mother, Ruth, was born in Manchester, England, in 1902, and 10 years later boarded a ship in Southampton to travel all the way to Argentina with her parents and sisters. Her older brothers were already there, having travelled in advance to get settled, find jobs, and call for the family to join them.

Mom often told me about the trip to Buenos Aires on a ship where she withstood acute sea sickness while trying to cope with her newly acquired feelings of doom. “We were poor, and we certainly did not travel on the top deck… more like the bottom. If we went any lower, we’d drown.”

She described it as crowded and noisy, smelly, uncomfortable, bleak. And of course, there was a multitude of people who seemed to feel just as miserable as she did.

A scrawny child, she had no idea why she had to leave her whole life behind to go to a country where she neither spoke the language nor knew anything about.

Enduring a Long and Gloomy Journey

Though they were a big family and could lean on each other as England became a distant speck on the horizon and then vanished altogether, most days were full of nothing but water that rocked the ship to make nausea a constant companion.

She would later recount those nights of finally falling asleep to the sounds of babies crying and people moaning. The weather was ghastly, and she often felt that the thick dark clouds and fog of England were accompanying them and looming overhead making the whole atmosphere gloomy, not to mention perilous at times.

Years later, watching Titanic with my kids, I would be reminded of Mom’s stories. Needless to say, I cried when I saw the conditions in which lower class passengers travelled when just a couple of decks above, there was glitter, lively music, delicious food, and sophisticated conversation held by high society ladies and gentlemen.

Always Eager to Learn so Learn She Did

To pass the time when her stomach was relatively stable, Mom learned how to count to 10 in Spanish. Her fellow travelers were so impressed that they insisted she stand on a makeshift stage (a wobbly chair) and recite the words until her audience too began to learn how to count in Spanish.

As she learned more words, she would add them to her repertoire and recite them during her nightly performance. She also learned a song “I’m a Pretty Little Girl from Nowhere,” and gladly sang it to them. I recently found it on YouTube. It made me very happy to hear it again so many years later.

A New Home Under the Sun

After what must have felt like forever, they arrived at the port of Buenos Aires. The warmth of the sun and the clear and bright blue skies of the city were blinding, inviting, and most of all – welcoming.

While Mom couldn’t understand most of what the officials and port employees spoke to them, she could sense that they were kind and exuded a warmth that she found most soothing.

Argentina, a country of immigrants, was merely welcoming yet another family to its fold. While it didn’t feel like home, leaving that ship and walking into the warmth of the sun and to her brothers’ arms was definitely a brand-new day.

Mom never forgot that wonderful feeling and it predisposed her to immediately take a liking to her new home. Maybe it was at that very moment of setting foot in her new country that she learned that everything was going to be alright and that indeed, she felt better in the morning.

How do you remember your mom on Mothers’ Day? What are some lessons from your mom that you still think of often? Have you passed these on to your children and grandchildren? Please share with our community!

Stassi Schroeder’s Season 8 Reunion Dress

Vanderpump Rules Season 8 Reunion Fashion

Stassi Schroeder looks red hot in her season 8 reunion dress. Red is a color that we were taught at a young age means to “Stop”, which was exactly what I was about to do before this dress finally popped up in my search, sent straight down from the internet Gods. I’ve never been more happy to see a red halter mini dress in my life. Well, besides when I first saw Stassi in the look a few days ago.

Unfortunately since it’s sold out we might not be able to get this dress from our screens to in our closets. BUT thank goodness for the maxi version that the internet Gods also made appear on my screen. And of course the Style Stealers that I’m about to make appear on yours.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her Amanda Uprichard Red Queens Mini Dress Size S on eBay

Click Here To Shop The Maxi Dress Version

Photo Credit: bravotv.com

Originally posted at: Stassi Schroeder’s Season 8 Reunion Dress

Yes, I said “hold the coffee and red wine.” Yes, I said it during a pandemic, while we’re all grasping for normalcy and savoring moments of indulgence to stay sane and calm. But, before you click away and pour yourself another cup of Joe, here’s a spoiler: here at Lily Bird we believe in all things in moderation, even moderation. In other words, we won’t ever tell you to give up coffee, cold turkey, until the end of time. That’d just be cruel.

But – if you’re one of the nearly half of women in midlife who experience bladder leaks (aka incontinence), you may want to take a second look at the source of that magical morning jolt (or that evening night cap) as well as a few other things on your plate or in your pantry. (And while you’re at it you may want to check out Lily Bird too. We like to fight taboos about the female body, give out 10-product trials for only $1.99, and help our customers skip the store by delivering discreetly to their homes.)

Before we dive in, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that there are a lot of possible bladder irritants. The good news is that I’ve never met a bladder whose leaks are made worse by all of these things! The trick is to figure out what one or two things irritate you most (and I don’t mean spouses or kids). Here are a few possibilities…

Coffee and Soda Are Double Whammies

Many bladders are not fans of the caffeine found in coffee, soda, and tea, even if your eyelids and foggy brain may disagree early on a Monday morning. Anything acidic or carbonated can bring on bladder leaks too, which makes coffee and soda particularly fraught.

Coffee is also a diuretic and may have you frequently sprinting to the bathroom. In other words: more opportunities for bladder leaks.

Keep Your Eyes Peeled for Acidic and Spicy Foods

What do spicy foods and acidic foods have in common? These talented buggers can irritate both your digestive tract and your bladder. A lot of us know all too well that acidic foods like citrus fruits, tomatoes, pineapple, and chocolate make us reach for antacids. And for some of us, spicy foods set our mouths on fire. 

When your body digests these foods, some of the compounds end up in your urine and so the same little molecules that burn in one place (your mouth) can irritate another (your bladder). And that can mean more bladder leaks. So beware that, if spices make your taste buds dance, your bladder may feel similarly a few hours later.

Bottoms Up – Maybe

Whether you like your margarita blended or on the rocks, your bladder may dislike it either way. Alcoholic drinks are another common trigger for bladder leaks.

It doesn’t help that alcohol slows things down and makes everything, including your pelvic floor, less coordinated.

Watch Out for Processed Foods

Cooking for yourself is great to minimize bladder leaks. Why? Most processed food has a lot of salt, which can dehydrate you, and more concentrated urine can make bladder leaks worse.

Artificial flavorings in processed foods as well as the nitrates in aged, canned, cured, or smoked meats and fish can wreak havoc on the bladder too. To skip the bladder leaks, try leaving the microwave meals in the frozen aisle and instead grab some fresh veggies, grains, and meats.

A (Small) Spoonful of Sugar

You may choose Diet Coke over a regular one to avoid the sugar. But guess what? A lot of bladders can’t tell the difference. And some bladders even leak more with artificial sweeteners than with the real deal. Sadly, sugar in all forms is another cause of bladder leaks for a lot of us.

Get Lots of Water & Fiber

The best way to keep your bladder healthy and to avoid bladder leaks is to eat lots of high fiber grains, legumes, and veggies. And to drink plenty of water.

Water and fiber help with constipation which can make bladder leaks worse, especially when chronic. How? The load in your intestines puts pressure on your pelvic floor and makes it harder for your pelvic floor to stay tight enough to keep bladder leaks in.

Plus, over time, downward pressure on your pelvic floor can weaken it which makes it harder to hold in leaks if you sneeze, cough, or laugh, too.

Keep a Bladder Diary

Everyone’s bladder is different. Some of us may have bladder leaks triggered by artificial sweeteners. Others may find that avocados, bananas, and dairy products are problematic (that’s the arylalkylamines in those foods, which are proteins).

But how do you know? Keep a bladder diary. Tracking everything you eat and drink for a few days may reveal which foods and drinks are dueling with your bladder and making your leaks worse.

A Few Last Words of Wisdom

There are a lot of delicious foods and drinks mentioned here. But we’re not telling you to give everything up. Far from it. Everything in moderation, even moderation! Just with knowing your triggers, you’ll be the boss of your bladder instead of the opposite.

And if you need a little back up support so you can enjoy that glass of red wine, Lily Bird has you covered. Just as some of us prefer a full-bodied Pinot Noir to a peppery Zinfandel, we all have different preferences for bladder leak products too. That’s why, at Lily Bird, we’re big believers in starting with a 10-product, 10-day trial for only $1.99. We’d love to have you give it a shot.

Ready to tell your bladder who’s boss? Get pads and underwear for leaky laughs and dribble dilemmas delivered straight to your door from Lily Bird. Try 10 products today for $1.99.