Month: August 2024

Television is the most popular form of entertainment as we age. It has probably been our most popular form of entertainment through the years also. We were bombarded with warnings of turning our brains to mush if we engaged with the boob tube, idiot box, squawk box or whatever insulting name it was called.

Yet, television has prevailed and is now accompanied by cousins laptop, iPad and smartphone. I am not advocating a couch potato lifestyle, but if you have a desire and some time in your life for television diversion, here are my recommendations of 10 great TV shows to enjoy in your vintage years. 

This Is Us

This show is an incredibly heartwarming and emotional, multi-generational and cross-cultural television series. This Is Us will tug and rip at your heart strings. The show and cast were consistently nominated for the Golden Globes, NAACP and Primetime Emmy Awards. The American Film Institute named it one of the top television shows in 2016 and 2017. 

This Is Us, with its numerous timelines and time jumps forward and back, keeps you guessing as to what is to come and what has happened with all of these beloved characters. You are given peeks into the characters’ lives. There are many times you know what is going to happen, but you are so intrigued as to how they got to that conclusion.

The pilot episode is phenomenal, and it continues with the same intensity and quality throughout many seasons. This show is unique in style and filled with humanity, complexity and universality.

Breaking Bad

This iconic show is in the Guiness Book of World Records as the most critically acclaimed TV show of all time. Breaking Bad has won 16 Primetime Emmy awards and in 2023, it was ranked by Rotten Tomatoes critics as the best TV series in the last 25 years. 

This is the story of a high school chemistry teacher, Walter White, who, when diagnosed with cancer, becomes a methamphetamine producer. I know it sounds ridiculous, but the story works fantastically well. It is true to its name as we watch Walter White transform slowly and nonlinearly from straight laced family man high school teacher to drug kingpin.

This is a very intense drama with extreme suspense and just extraordinarily memorable scenes. It is a psychological thriller that leaves you pondering your own moral ambiguity. Tension and dark humor underlie much of the show and add to the captivation. 

The relationship between Walter White and his partner, Jesse Pinkman, is intricate and fascinating. Also, the cinematography of the show can be just breathtaking at times. The acting, the story writing, the aesthetics and detail in Breaking Bad make it an exceptional show. 

Better Call Saul

Breaking Bad’s spinoff, Better Call Saul does not disappoint. It could easily be watched as a standalone show, but there is so much more to get out of it if you watch them both. Better Call Saul is mostly a prequel to Breaking Bad, although it also works as a sequel. It focuses on the life of Saul Goodman, the fan favorite lawyer of Breaking Bad. This is in large an origins story.

There are a lot of what the whippersnappers call Easter eggs (secrets or bits of information) in Better Call Saul that throw back to Breaking Bad. Off-handed comments, such as Saul’s character saying he gave himself a Jewish sounding name because he thought it would be good for business in an episode of Breaking Bad, turns into a whole plot, the main character starting out as Jimmy McGill and it taking seasons for him to assume the name of Saul Goodman. There are numerous Easter eggs for you to find along the way and I won’t spoil them. 

There are numerous situations and characters on the show that are not on or referenced in Breaking Bad, of course. The relationship between Saul (or Jimmy) and his brother Chuck is fascinating and complex along with his unique relationship with girlfriend Kim Wexler. 

This show uses an interesting technique of showing post Breaking Bad scenes in black and white and before and during Breaking Bad scenes in color. The style and tone of this show seems very different to me than Breaking Bad, but it is equally as mesmerizing and intriguing. 

I Love Lucy

Yes, my list is very eclectic. I cannot put out a list of great TV shows and leave out the classic I Love Lucy. It was the most watched TV show in the United States for 4 of its 6 seasons. In 1955, I Love Lucy became the first TV show to have reruns. This iconic treasure is just plain fun and hilarious. 

I Love Lucy was a transformative part of television history. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz created Desilu Studios which was one of the first independent television studios. Lucille Ball demanded the TV show have Desi Arnaz cast as her husband, which CBS was reluctant to do. CBS did not think a Cuban band leader with an accent would be accepted by the American audience. They were so wrong! The chemistry between Lucy and Desi was magic and gave us the first Latino lead in a TV show.

When Lucille Ball was pregnant, the Code of Practices for Television Broadcasting did not allow pregnancy of TV due to it being sexually suggestive. This absolutely bewilders me. I do not believe there are or were many if any children who had not seen a pregnant woman in their everyday lives. Again, Lucy and Desi insisted on getting their way and the episode where Little Ricky was born was watched by more viewers than any other television episode to that date. But, enough history; it’s a great show! Watch it. 

Ted Lasso

This show just works as great entertainment, and curiously, many people are not able to tell you why they like it so much. It is a heartwarming story about an American football coach moving to England to coach soccer (most of the world would call this real football). Ted Lasso is a TV show that is the exact opposite of edgy. It is down to earth yet not sappy. It makes you laugh and smile but not chortle and snort. There is a soft optimism and kindness throughout this show that our cynical existence needs.

Jeopardy 

Cannot have a list of TV shows for those of vintage age without including Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. These are the stereotypical TV shows of the elderly and for good reason! We need to try and keep our minds as sharp as possible and what better way to do that than game shows. Jeopardy questions are tough and even if we rarely get the answer right, it is fun to try. The first episode of Jeopardy aired March 30, 1964. The format of the show has barely changed through all those years. There is no more iconic game show than Jeopardy.

Wheel of Fortune

Wheel of Fortune is another game show created by Merv Griffin. It first aired in 1975. This is another show to try and keep your mind as sharp as possible while having a lot of fun. The format is simple, but the puzzles can be challenging. 

The Office

The Office is a mockumentary filled with laughs, drama and heart. Irreverent at times, The Office gives you relatable characters. The running gags are great, and the plots and call backs are consistent. I dare to call this show iconic. It lives in infamy with numerous fans, merchandise, and memes galore.

The Twilight Zone

I am referring to the original Twilight Zone series from 1959 through 1964, with Rod Serling. If you have never seen it, I find this anthology series a little difficult to explain. Each episode can be very different from the next. It will go from science fiction to horror and sometimes just plain absurd.

Basically, it is a show about individuals finding themselves in unusual situations referred to as The Twilight Zone. The episodes often end in a twist to catch you off guard and shock, scare or teach you something. The Twilight Zone is a cultural phenomenon that will have you “traveling through another dimension – a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.”

Queen’s Gambit

This TV show is about a chess-playing prodigy. How can that possibly be interesting, you would probably ask. It is surprisingly mesmerizing. You get to know the main character, Beth, so well that you constantly forget this is not a true story. We experience Beth through her days in the orphanage and her drug addiction, and we see how the structured precision of chess brings clarity to her life. 

So, these are my 10 recommended TV shows for those of vintage age. They bring me great joy, and I hope they do the same for you. 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Who else loves these shows? Which is your favorite? Has anyone watched all 10 of these TV series? What are your favorites not on this list?

This spring I met someone special and had an instant connection. I really like him, and he felt the same way. But then through no fault of either of us, we ended things due to some personal issues.

My heart wasn’t broken because we didn’t date long, but because I liked him so much, it felt a little dented.

Trying to move on, I found myself comparing any new men I met to John (not his real name), and it got to the point that it was hindering my dating experience. I was struggling to let go. Until this week when I had a major ah-ha moment.

There I was, pining over a man who I hardly knew, when BAM, out of nowhere I realized that it wasn’t him that I liked so much, it was his character traits. I liked that he was smart, fun, active, kind, connected to his family, had a silly sense of humor, etc. And most of all, I liked that he put real effort into dating me.

But truth be told, there were some things going on in his life that may have turned into deal breakers over the long-term.

This beautiful epiphany was the perfect feedback I needed because it showed me how I had stopped dating with intention.

What Does That Mean?

Dating with intention means approaching your love life with clarity, mindfulness, and purpose. It’s about stopping that idle swiping and aimless dating so you can shift your focus to men who excite you, have shared values, and long-term potential. It’s about being deliberate with your choices and finding personal connections with men who share your goals and aspirations.

There’s a self-awareness that comes from dating with intention. It requires honesty and bravery. Yes, you’ll make hard choices, but frankly, it’s a much more successful dating style.

My First Steps

Once this thought washed over me, I immediately began writing down everything I liked about John, but I did it in the form of affirmations. By starting with the words I am, your brain perceives that it’s already happened and aligns your behaviors to help make it so.

I used the word men rather than man because I wanted the universe to bring me choices rather than just one… just in case I didn’t like him. I wrote things like:

• I am attracting men who are fun and active.
• I am attracting high quality men who are kind and thoughtful.
• I’m attracting men who are still passionate about their work.
• I am attracting men who like me for who I am.

I wrote until I didn’t have any more to say. No, this doesn’t mean I expanded my checklists. This means that because I’m dating with intention I’m open to attracting men who meet my must-haves and deal breakers PLUS the other personality traits that will deepen our connection.

I read my list every day because it makes me smile and reminds me that love is in the air. I know there are good men out there because I’ve met them. If you believe it, it can work for you too.

It’s About Having Fun

Next, I made the commitment to be more authentic in my chats. I’m smart and serious much of the time so I decided to start showing my fun, silly side. This usually stays hidden until you get to know me really well. But not any more.

When a man chats with me, he sees the real me, quirks and all, and I’m becoming more comfortable with letting new people in quickly. I want to make sure the men I’m interested in have the possibility of being a good fit. It’s such a time saver!

Mindful Choices

Then I began paying more attention to the quality of the man, rather than the quantity. The more time you spend dating the wrong men, the less time you have available to look for the right men. And at this stage of life, time is a commodity.

You don’t need to worry that intentional dating will keep you home alone on Saturday nights. You may date more. Men don’t want to waste time either and will appreciate your honesty from the start. Be open to adding those words to your dating profile.

Enjoy Meaningful Conversations

Because you’re making better choices, you’re spending time with someone who doesn’t shy away from deeper questions. If he does, you know very quickly that he’s not the one you’re looking for. You don’t need to move quickly. You can ask deep questions about shallow topics and still create emotional intimacy.

Live in the Moment with an Eye on the Future

To really enjoy spending time with someone you must stay in the moment. However, as you continue to learn more about each other, you’ll want to decide if this person has enough depth to carry you past the first couple of dates. Are they a good kisser? Could you introduce them to your family and friends?

Then as the relationship goes to the next level, you’ll want to determine if he’s someone with whom you can handle life’s challenges. Is he a good communicator? Will he let you in? Emotional maturity is critical for emotional intimacy in a healthy relationship. You both want to feel safe enough to be honest about your feelings.

Which Brings Understanding

Dating with intention is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. It helps you truly understand what type of person you’ll be able to build genuine connections with based on shared values and compatibility. It’s how you’ll meet a man who will love you the way you want to be loved. As I always say, “Dating is all about you.”

It’s exciting to have clarity around the type of men you invite into your life. It sets the groundwork for trust and open communication from the very beginning. And if the men you’re dating also date with true intention, you may just find your someone special.

If this sounds like a great plan, but you don’t know where to start, join me for my Iron Tiara Masterclass, How to Find Love over 50 Without Losing Yourself. Schedule your personal watch party here and see how you can avoid the three dating mistakes all women make and stop struggling for love.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What tricks or tools do you use to get over heartbreak? Do you date with intention? What is your intention for dating?

Have you had your feelings hurt lately by someone close to you? Or had a heated exchange with an old friend? Did you say something you regret to someone you care about and damage the relationship? Do you sometimes feel angry, negative or discontent, causing you to lash out for no acceptable reason?

I certainly have; and according to the women in my circle, we’re not the only ones. There seems to be a rash of women in our era having disagreements serious enough to end long-term relationships.

Changes in Relationships

This came as a surprise to me. I honestly thought once I got to this stage in my life, my friendships would be permanently cemented. But I’ve noticed recently that some of my closest relationships are not as fulfilling as they used to be.

I also realize I can be inexplicably short-tempered and critical with these women. The same women who I supported in the last few decades and who supported me through careers, relationships and the realities of young life. But now, for some reason, we get on each other’s nerves.

We All Go Through Changes

There are many reasons why aging women find themselves experiencing a shift in mood. Hormones or the lack of, poor physical health, social isolation and loss all contribute to the quality of our mental health and outlook.

It’s difficult to be nice when we wake up feeling stiff or sad. It’s hard to be considerate when we’re worried about our finances, physical wellbeing in the future or spend so much time idle and alone that we forget how to play nice with others.

Is There Something We Can Do?

This era of life with all of its changes can be difficult, but we can take steps to improve how we feel and how we interact with others. These things come to my mind and I’ve tried to practice many to some degree of success.

Take Care of Ourselves Physically

Chronic pain, brain fog and lethargy affect our emotional state and mood. Eating well and getting enough sleep is a good start.

Get Regular Physical Exercise

It reduces cortisol and recent studies show flexing muscles release mood-improving hormones into the bloodstream.

Enjoy Time in the Sun

Spend time in the sunlight to get a daily boost of serotonin, a hormone that elevates mood.

Be Aware of Miscommunication

When someone says something hurtful, ask for clarification before reacting. Perhaps you misunderstood the intention of what was said.

Look for Positive Criticism

When someone you trust says something that seems critical, look for truth in the words. If you find there is some truth to the criticism, perhaps it is appropriate to apologize or make changes. If there is no truth to be found, try to take the words with a grain of salt.

Compassion May Be in Order

There is an old saying, People see us not as we are but as they are. Unkind words can come from those living in fear or pain. Often, there is a need for compassion.

Not All Friendships Are Meant to Live on Forever

If, when we think of losing that person from our lives, we feel sad about what we once meant to each other rather than missing what we currently share, it may be time to let the relationship go.

Avoid Over Consuming Alcohol

Our inhibitions are chemically affected when we indulge and the chances of saying something we might regret go up with every sip.

Sensitivity to a Specific Person

Notice when a certain person’s company sets you on edge, perhaps it is time to take a break from the friendship.

Give Upsets Time to Resolve

We can overreact when our feelings are hurt, and speaking up in the moment could lead to a deeper rift than if we give each other a chance to cool off.

Bring in a Referee

Ask an impartial friend to help you understand the situation and try to find a fair and suitable resolution.

Choose Honesty

Be honest but choose your words carefully.

We’re all learning how best to live in an aging body while being confronted with life’s challenges as we strive to live each day to its fullest. Hopefully, we can do so with compassion and humor, preserving everyone’s self-respect.

Further read, Do You Have 8 Minutes? Finding the Time for Friends.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had a long-term friendship fall out? Were there important reasons for the break-up, or was it caused by little things?

While sorting through my inbox, I came across one email with the subject line “Loving Life with Less.” Given my interest in downsizing, I was very excited to read it. Yes! I thought. That’s exactly the goal.

And then I began to think about how that really felt, and I wasn’t sure that it felt very good to think about living with less. Less what? Less clutter? Yes, that’s great! Less sleep? Well, that’s not so good even though many of us apparently are doing it.

I remembered a wonderful statement from John Muir, the venerable conservationist who fought so valiantly to preserve Yosemite. He said, “Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where Nature may heal and cheer and give strength to body and soul alike.”

My Downsizing Journey

A few years back, I was faced with moving from my 2000-square foot home with a big two-car garage and a very large yard to an 800-square foot apartment with a 46’x46” cage in the basement for storage. Yikes!

Among other things, this meant getting rid of about 80-90% of what I owned. Is this a possibility in your future? If so, you’re not alone in feeling the fears and overwhelm such a prospect can bring.

As I went through closet after closet, drawer after drawer and bookshelf after bookshelf, I realized that in addition to asking myself “How long has it been since I used this and how likely am I to use it again anytime soon?” I also took note of how the item felt when I held it or looked at it. Was it beautiful to me? Was it precious? Did it bring me joy?

What ‘Sparks Joy’?

In her very helpful book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo talks about those few things that, when we look at them, ‘spark joy’.

I think that, as Muir points out, we need more than ‘just functional’ things in our lives. We need some beauty, some play, some soul-feeding things and activities.

And I think that we need just enough of those things. Just enough to feel happy and satisfied and fulfilled in the same way we need just enough functional things to live with ease and a sense of spaciousness.

An Upside to Downsizing

In my book, The Upside of Downsizing: Getting to Enough, I talk about what it means to keep ‘just enough’ in mind while you downsize your home. Just enough functional things like pairs of socks and shoes, just enough camera equipment, just enough tools and books and pots and pans.

Just enough to get things done easily in our lives. But not more than enough. Not so that things are bursting out of closets and drawers and filling the garage to the point that the car doesn’t fit in any longer.

It feels better to me to think about “Loving Life with Enough” rather than “Loving Life with Less.” If I’m living with ‘less’ I may be deprived of things I really need. If I’m living with ‘enough’ I have everything I need to live a complete, fulfilling life.

How Do We Know If We Have Enough?

What are the signs of enough? For many years I’ve had a special project called the Sign of Enough, which is designed to help us answer the question “How will I know when I have enough?’’

It’s not an easy question, and we never answer it once and for all, but we can live ever alert to what the answer may be in that moment.

I invite you to try asking yourself this question for one day. If you’ll do this, when it comes time to do a major downsizing of your home, you’ll be prepared to downsize to enough, which will be at least a bit easier.

Loving Life with Enough

It took about five seconds for much of this to race through my mind before I opened the email I mentioned above. When I did, I realized that the subject was “Loving Life with Less Water.”

It was from a gardening shop and the topic was plants and shrubs that require less water to flourish. I smiled and thought, “Well, not all of us have enough, to be sure, but many of us have way more than enough to flourish.”

I invite you to keep in mind “getting to just enough to flourish” as you downsize your home.

You may find this process challenging, or even painful, so consider providing yourself with some extra support.

Ask a non-judgmental friend sit with you and ask you what’s important as you reflect on the issue. Or consider hiring a coach.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Can you think of a time in your life when you chose to live with less? How did that feel? In what ways does it feel different to you to think of living with less as compared to living with enough? What does downsizing your home mean to you? Let’s discuss in the comments below!