Author: Admin01

There’s a line in a song I wrote recently that stayed with me longer than the music:

“I know it’s my own doing… bein’ where I be… but that don’t make it easier… livin’ inside of me.”

We All Live in Our Own Thoughts

I didn’t write that line as advice. It wasn’t meant to fix anything. It just showed up one day, the way honest things tend to do. And the more I sat with it, the more I realized how much of life can feel like that – being aware of where we are, how we got there, and still not finding any relief in that understanding.

There’s a quiet weight that comes from living inside your own thoughts too long. Not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s just a steady presence – going over the same ground, revisiting the same moments, asking questions that don’t seem to lead anywhere new.

And every now and then, it raises a simple possibility.

What would it feel like to step outside of that, even briefly?

Not in a dramatic, life-changing way. Not by fixing anything. Just… stepping away for a while.

A Different Kind of Day

Maybe it’s getting in the car and driving somewhere with no particular destination. Maybe it’s sitting in a place you don’t usually go. Maybe it’s doing something small and unfamiliar, something that doesn’t carry the usual weight of expectation.

I’ve felt it in small moments like that. Even something as simple as going to a movie in the middle of the day. There’s something about it that feels a little off at first – like you’re stepping outside the normal rhythm of things.

And then the movie ends, and you walk back out into the daylight… and for a second, it doesn’t quite line up. The world is still moving along like it always does, but you’ve been somewhere else for a while.

It’s a strange feeling. Not bad. Just different.

Like you stepped outside of yourself… and then quietly stepped back in.

Stepping Out of Yourself Provides Perspective

There’s something quietly powerful in that. Not because it changes who you are, but because it reminds you that you’re not limited to one way of being in the world. Even if it’s only for a short time.

And maybe the most surprising part isn’t the change itself – it’s the moment afterward. That small recognition that you did something different. That you gave yourself a break from the familiar rhythm of your own thinking.

There’s a kind of dignity in that. Not pride in the usual sense, but a quieter acknowledgment:

I stepped outside of it for a while.

No judgment. No fixing. Just a shift.

Those Moments Make Us Pause

And then something else occurred to me – something I’ve noticed over the years, especially when I’m writing.

Sometimes a line will come to me that feels like it didn’t come from effort at all. It just arrives. And every now and then, I’ll stop and read it back and think, Where did that come from?

That line I shared above – “I know it’s my own doing… bein’ where I be… but that don’t make it easier… livin’ inside of me” – was one of those moments.

It made me pause.

Not to fix anything. Not to judge anything. Just to take a quiet inventory.

Because it didn’t feel like I was saying something about myself. It felt more like something in me was speaking to me.

And what it was saying wasn’t harsh. It wasn’t critical.

It was almost the opposite.

It was a kind of quiet reminder.

Be a little easier on yourself.

Recognizing Where We Currently Are

Writing has a way of doing that. So does any honest form of expression. It has a way of showing us not just what we’ve done, but how we’ve been treating ourselves along the way.

And sometimes, what it reveals isn’t that we’ve made mistake – —that part we usually already know.

It’s how hard we’ve been on ourselves for making them.

There’s a difference between recognizing where we are… and punishing ourselves for it.

And maybe, every now and then, what we really need isn’t correction.

Maybe it’s just a small shift.

A softer voice.

A moment where we step outside of that constant inner conversation… and give ourselves a little room to breathe.

Not forever.

Just for a while.

Because the truth is, we all carry things. We all have places inside ourselves that feel heavier than we’d like. Knowing that doesn’t make it disappear. It doesn’t make it easier.

But it does make it human.

And maybe, every now and then, it’s enough to take a day off from living inside all of it… and just be somewhere else, even for a little while.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What thoughts constantly occupy your mind? Have you tried stepping out of yourself for a little bit? What does that feel like? Does it bring clarity or something else?

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The stories about scams tied to mobile payment apps are enough to make anyone hesitate. They did for me. I’m usually quick to try new tech, but this was one area where I held back.

That changed when our youngest son moved into his college apartment. I needed a simple way to send him money each month. That’s when I finally agreed to let him teach me how to use Cash App.

I’ve been using it cautiously for about two years now, and it has simplified our financial transactions. Not only can I use it to give him a monthly allowance, but it has worked well to have him pay directly for certain things and then I can quickly reimburse him. 

I haven’t had a need to branch out and use a mobile payment with anyone else until now. Last month, my hairdresser announced that she would be passing on the 3.99% card fee for using a debit/credit card and offered Venmo and Zelle as payment options along with the old-fashioned check. But remembering to bring a check, or carrying one around all the time, just isn’t practical anymore.

We live in the day and age of mobile payments. I decided to learn how all of the platforms work so I can feel comfortable using them safely with others besides my son. 

Once I started looking into it, I realized these apps aren’t all the same. Here’s how they actually differ.

Venmo vs. Zelle vs. Cash App – What’s the Difference?

Zelle

• Built into many bank apps (like Chase or Bank of America).
• Zelle does not hold funds in an app – money moves directly between bank accounts. 
• Usually arrives within minutes.
• Best for: sending money to people you trust – because it goes straight from bank to bank.

Venmo (owned by PayPal)

• A separate app you download; uses a phone number or email to send money.
• Includes a social feed (you can turn this off – and should).
• Allows you to keep money in the app before moving it to your bank.
• Best for: paying friends or family who already use Venmo (especially younger users).

Cash App

• A separate app you download; uses a phone number, email, or $Cashtag to send money.
• Allows you to keep a balance or spend it with a debit card.
• Instant transfers have a small fee; free transfers take 1–3 days.
• Best for: flexible, everyday use if you want one simple app that does more than just send money.

Some Additional Specifics

Payments sent through these apps are immediate and usually irreversible. Once the money is gone, it’s gone. If you wouldn’t hand this person cash, don’t send the payment. 

If you fund a payment with a credit card, you may be able to dispute it through your card issuer. But if you send money directly from your bank account, there’s usually no way to reverse it. In some cases of clearly unauthorized transactions, the app may look into it and possibly reverse the charge.

But those situations are not the norm. Venmo and Cash App are not buyer-protection platforms for everyday “send money” use. They don’t offer the same level of protection you get with a credit card.

Known Scams with Payment Apps

Most problems with these apps aren’t technical; they’re scams. Here are the ones to know.

#1. The Fake Bank Text Scam (Most Common)

This starts with a real-looking text from “your bank” asking if you authorized a large Zelle payment. When you reply “NO,” you get a call from a “bank agent” who offers to help you reverse it, and in doing so tricks you into sending money to them.

#2. The “Send Money to Yourself” Scam

No legitimate bank or fraud department will ever ask you to use Zelle or Venmo to move or verify funds. If someone does, it’s a scam, full stop. 

#3. The Grandchild Emergency Scam

You receive a message claiming to be your grandchild in trouble. He needs bail money, she is stuck at the airport, their phone is broken. Fraudsters now use AI voice cloning to make it sound convincing. Always call your grandchild back on their known number before sending anything. Or establish a secret code word you can ask in this situation. 

#4. The Overpayment Scam

Someone “accidentally” sends you too much money and asks you to send the excess back. The original payment was fraudulent, and you’ve just sent real money.

#5. Prize/Lottery Scams

Older adults are more likely to be targeted by prize scams, where they’re told they’ve won a reward but must pay a fee or taxes to collect it.

#6. The Verification Code Scam

Whether it’s a bank or a payment app, if you’re ever asked to share a verification code, it’s a scam. That code is the key to your account.

The Golden Rules

• Only send money to people you know in real life.
• When in doubt, pick up the phone and call. DO NOT reply to the text.
• Never share a verification code with anyone, ever.
• Enable transaction alerts so you know instantly if something happens.
• Consider establishing a family code word that only your real grandchild would know for emergency money requests.

How to Use Them 

To use Cash App or Venmo, the first step is to download the app, set up your profile and add a credit or debit card.

Notes on Zelle

If you want to use Zelle, check whether your bank integrates with it. You will need to sign up or activate it using your cell number through your online bank account. To use Zelle, you access it through your bank’s app. To send money, you add a contact using their cell number or email address. On the main screen, enter the amount and click “Pay”. This opens another screen where you select the recipient and add a note.

Notes on Venmo

On Venmo, make sure personal payments stay standard (not marked as a purchase). Turning on purchase protection adds a fee and changes how the transaction is treated. 

Payments marked as goods or services may be reported to the IRS if they meet reporting thresholds, so it’s important to label transactions correctly. 

The Venmo app is social by design, making it a staple among Gen Z and millennials. But those of us over 60 who choose to use this app will want to take a close look at the privacy settings. Be sure to set your default privacy to Private (under the gear icon in settings). This prevents future payments from appearing publicly. You’ll also want to set your friend list to private. This prevents others from seeing who you’re connected to. 

Scammers rely on confusion. The more familiar you are with these tools, the easier and safer they are to use.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you use mobile money transaction apps? Which ones have you tried and what’s your experience so far? Have you modified any settings?

You may remember watching your children or nieces/nephews spend “their” money differently than “your” money? Suddenly, what they asked you to buy, was not what they were willing to spend their own money on, remember that? That always made me chuckle. And now I am seeing the same scenario in our grandchildren.

Money as a Gift

Now that most of our grandkids are school age, we switched from giving a small gift they could open (plus their real gift of a 529 contribution) to giving them cash. And we tell them we want them to start practicing using money to save, spend, or give. And we leave the details of the guardrails around how that works to the parents. My chuckles continue.

Money Motivates

One grandson was so excited he kept repeating on his birthday “this is my best day ever!” And, of course, finding multiple bills inside of a card vs just one (of the same total dollar amount) made his eyes get bigger and bigger. Their concept of money is just emerging as his counting and math skills advance as well at his Kindergarten age.

But he understood quickly that if he offered to do some chores around the house, he could make that pile of money grow even bigger. He had his eyes set on buying a Lego set at an upcoming vacation to Legoland so his parents sent me a picture as he was suddenly motivated to wash windows.

Earning Money

We moved recently so some of our grandchildren ran a lemonade stand at our moving sale in the driveway. The youngest was quick to be sure everyone who arrived heard the lemonade offer at least once or twice. And the three of them took turns manning the booth, restocking the mini donuts, and even making signs to promote their offer.

Several generous adults just made donations, and they were prompt with their manners and appreciation. They split the proceeds three ways and beamed with $10 in each of their pockets at the end of the morning sale.

Investing Money

Another grandson told me as soon as I saw him the other day, “I spent that money you gave me.” He was very matter-of-fact about it as he and his dad explained that he had invested it into a stock using an app on his mother’s phone. He said it would “pop back up on the screen again in a couple of days.” I can’t wait to hear this 5-year-old’s interpretation as he watches the stock over time.

Spending Money

My sister has started to take grandchildren on a shopping spree to spend their holiday money. One granddaughter quickly realized that one big item would use up all of her dollars, so she ended up putting it back and getting five less expensive things she wanted instead. The shopping process took awhile, but they had so many good conversations along the way.

So Many Ideas

Janet Bodnar writes a great column for women in Kiplinger’s Personal Finance magazine, and I remember some of the stories she shared when she wrote about financial gifts for grandchildren. One woman set up a Savings Challenge to her grade school aged grandchildren where she would match what they saved and the one who amassed the most on top of what she gave them after a certain period of time would earn an additional $100 bonus.

Another grandmother gives instructions with her $400 gift: save $200, give $100 and spend $100 any way you wish. And other grandma gave an amount of money that had to be invested in any dividend paying stock they chose, as long as they picked it with their father and reinvested the dividends. So many clever ideas!

Free Tools Guiding Money Decisions

One of the best tools to help children with the idea of “practicing using money” comes from a colleague in the financial education industry, Karen Holland, Founder of Gifting Sense. She developed a Does It Make Sense (DIMS) calculator to help children think before they buy. Whether it’s a toy, clothes, experience, pet, or even a first car, this free to access and use tool helps kids think through all aspects of a purchase complete with a report at the end that could be printed out or shared with a parent to finish the decision together before a purchase!

Practice at anything makes “perfect,” right? I don’t think any of us will ever feel like we’re perfect with money but the practice part is sure helpful to kids in so many ways: learning to earn money, experience selling something, feeling delayed gratification, motivation and reward for saving, finding out that saving or investing is another way to grow money, enjoying the feeling of giving to help others, and experiencing mistakes like overpaying, spending too quickly, regret after a purchase, etc. The list is long!

For older grandkids (and even adults), I designed a free to download AutoPilot Your Finances tool that takes the emotion out of so many money decisions. We have room to grow and learn and apply at all ages of life, so I encourage you to drip on the youth in your life whenever teachable moments come along. Practicing with money definitely provides teachable moments!

Let’s Talk:

What have you seen work or not work with the children in your life practicing with their money? How did your childhood or experience with children impact how you gift today? Any tips to share on helping grandkids practice using money? Let’s have a discussion.