Author: Admin01

Have you ever met women whose scowls look so malevolent that rottweilers suddenly remember they had somewhere else to be? Even a rattlesnake would say, “Nope, not today,” and quietly slither away.

What about that confident woman who makes you feel like a natural fit for her inner circle, only to draw you into her web of manipulation and control? Before long, you may become the target of her wrath – or find yourself being groomed to mirror her behavior.

When my inner radar failed to warn me to give a Meetup organizer a wide berth, here’s how I was able to remove this toxic woman from my life.

The Senior Bully

At some point in our lives, we’ve all encountered these types of women, but I never anticipated running into one in my second half. I figured the days of school yard bullies were behind me. Yet here I am, writing an article on dealing with senior bullies. I was considering calling them mature bullies, but that mixed metaphor just doesn’t work.

Senior bullies are similar to their high school counterparts. These women control through subtle intimidation. If you don’t play by their rules, you’ll be exposed as not being a ‘team player.’ In other words, turning your playmates into a hive of mean girls.

I want to share with you an encounter I had with a bully who underestimated me. My first husband was a bully, so I had some experience with these abusers. And yes, this is abuse, and I do not take kindly to being disrespected.

My New Group

It was a few years ago that I decided to join a Meetup group of women over 50. The group was active and a reasonable size but was run by only one woman about my age (which should have been a clue).

It was a requirement to meet her in person (I’ll call her Lily) to see if I was a good fit for her group. She had one of those stern faces that oozed bad energy. But not wanting to judge without getting to know her, I decided to give Lily the benefit of the doubt. Maybe a heart of gold was beating beneath her protective armour.

My intent had been to join a group of ladies to accompany me to live theatre, opera (something my current friends weren’t keen on), and occasional “outside the box” events. Lily’s group had arranged for us to meet with a professional make-up artist who had worked on Hollywood celebrities. It all sounded very interesting.

A Spot of Bother

After attending a few functions, I noticed Lily had a bit of an edge to her voice when dealing with minor issues. Members were afraid to cross her and skirted around what was on their minds in order not to incur her wrath. Believing we were all adults and could fight our own battles, I didn’t get involved in these skirmishes.

However, I was noticing that ladies who had gently disagreed with Lily were disappearing. Despite her stern appearance, I was pretty sure there was no murder involved but those who spoke up seemed no longer to be involved in any further events.

One day, when a meetup I attended hadn’t gone according to plan and a few of us were disappointed at the poor organization of the event, it quickly became apparent that Lily was not going to take any of the blame.

Instead, she pointed her finger at the attendees, indicating that we were the problem for any chaos incurred when we arrived at the venue. I politely challenged her on this and was swiftly reprimanded. Lily informed me that I was already pushing my luck since she felt I was interacting too much with speakers at past events.

Don’t Disrespect Me

I can tell you, in my second half, no one shuts me down when I’ve done nothing wrong. I was beginning to see the light and I’d had enough. I confronted Lily in the group chat and told her she was not listening to the membership and behaving like a bully. She was lauding over the group like we were her minions. There were to be no dissenting voices of any form for fear of incurring her brutal authority.

The next thing I knew she proved me right. I was told I was too outspoken and she didn’t want me in her group. With a push of a button, I was blocked and our conversation erased.

This, of course, only made me feel vindicated. She was a bully, I had said what I had to say, and she had been too late in removing our conversation before many in our group had read our interaction.

She was reeling from the shock of someone having the audacity to stand up to her. I chalked this up to a win. I don’t tolerate bullies, and I successfully outed one.

Finding the Bodies

After dusting myself off and moving on, it was a few months later that I joined another women’s group which seemed more friendly. And wouldn’t you know it – I unearthed the bodies of the other women who had been ‘blocked’ from Lily’s group.

Apparently, my skirmish with Lily was the talk of our city’s women’s meetup scene. Ladies commented, ‘Oh, that was you!’ They told me they were grateful and thoroughly enjoyed reading our brief exchange.

A Lesson in Bad Behaviour

When you stand up to a bully, they usually don’t push back. They can’t and don’t intend to explain or admit their bad behavior. They will stick their tongue out at you and stomp away. If they can’t be right, they don’t want any part of you.

Sounds good to me. I’m too old for that nonsense. What a colossal waste of one’s time.

Last Word

Meetups can be a bit of trial and error. But don’t give up. In my experience, if you’re searching for friendly faces, look for groups that are run by the members. You can even suggest and arrange your own event. I am currently involved in such a group and thoroughly enjoying my new friends.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What’s your experience with meetup groups? Have you met any bullies? How have you handled the situation?

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Originally posted at: Amanda Batula’s Brown Boys Lie Fleece

As a Medicare Customer Advocate for a large US insurance company, one of the things I have learned is that many women are unaware of the free or low-cost preventive screenings and tests that their Medicare plans cover.

I’ve heard it all: “I didn’t know mammograms were free”, “My friends are getting osteoporosis screenings; does Medicare cover that?”, “I haven’t had a colonoscopy in like 20 years, am I eligible for that on my plan?”

You get it; the list of questions is inexhaustible.

What Exactly IS Preventive Care?

Medicare’s Preventive Care benefits focus on pinpointing health concerns early, or preventing them entirely, before they become more serious and more expensive to treat.

The Good News

Medicare covers a gamut of preventive tests and screenings for free or at a low cost to help women stay their healthiest during this chapter in their lives, so check out these benefits!

Medicare Annual Wellness Visits

Unlike traditional physical exams, this yearly checkup allows you and your healthcare provider to review your overall health, assess risk factors, update preventive screenings, and create a personalized wellness plan. Think of it as an annual roadmap for maintaining your health.

New to Medicare? Did you know that before your Annual Wellness Visit benefit kicks in, you are eligible for the one-time “Welcome to Medicare” preventive appointment with your doctor? This visit, which is only good for within the first year you have joined Medicare, gives you and your doctor the chance to review your medical history and your family’s medical history. Your doctor will also inform you about important, covered vaccines and screenings, and best ways for you to stay healthy.

Mammograms

Mammograms can help detect breast cancer in its earliest and most treatable stages. Screening mammograms are covered every 12 months, or more frequently, based on medical necessity.

Bone Density Tests

Bone density tests, which are covered every 24 months or more often, based on medical necessity, can identify osteoporosis before a fracture occurs, a particularly important concern for post-menopausal women. Your doctor will also discuss with you best ways to keep your bones strong.

Cervical and Vaginal Cancer Screenings

These screenings also cover Human Papillomavirus (HPV) tests. These tests are usually covered once every 24 months, but if you are at a high risk for these cancers or have had an abnormal Pap result in the last 36 months, this test will be covered every 12 months.

Colonoscopies

A colonoscopy checks for precancerous polyps in your colon, colon cancer, and other diseases in the colon and rectum. Medicare will cover this screening every 24 months if you are at high risk for colon cancer; if you’re not at high risk, they are covered every 10 years.

Diabetes Screenings

A diabetes screening checks to see if you have diabetes, or you may be at risk for diabetes, and may include a fasting or non-fasting test, an A1C screening, or other Medicare-approved glucose tests.

Bear in mind that this Medicare-preventive coverage is based on whether your health care provider believes you may be at risk for developing diabetes. Medicare will cover up to two of these tests annually, based on the date you went for your most recent screening, not per calendar year.

Depression Screenings

Let’s face it; life can be rough sometimes and can get you down in the dumps. If you have been feeling this way for a while, see your doctor, as this benefit is covered yearly. Your provider will ask you questions to find out if you have depression, and if so, will determine the appropriate follow-up treatment, whether that is medication, a referral to a mental health provider, or both.

Cardiovascular Disease Screenings

Your doctor will check for any heart or blood vessel problems and will determine if you’re at risk for heart disease. This preventive screening also covers tests for cholesterol, lipid and triglyceride levels, and is covered once every five years.

Vaccines and Shots

Yes, Medicare even covers the following jabs to keep you healthy:

• COVID-19 vaccines and other related services.
• Flu Vaccines are covered each year during the flu season.
• Hepatitis B vaccines help prevent against this virus.
• Pneumococcal shots protect you against pneumonia.

Mind you, this list is not exhaustive; Medicare provides beneficiaries with even more preventive services, so check them out!

What to Do Before You Go

Before you go for your preventive screening or test, please note that you pay nothing (or pay a low cost) for these benefits, as long as you receive them from a doctor or health care provider who accepts Medicare.

It is also best practice to call your doctor or your insurance company to confirm or determine that the preventive service you have scheduled is at no cost.

Keep in mind that when you attend your screening, your provider may suggest additional services which Medicare may not cover. You may find that you may have additional financial responsibilities for any other tests or procedures above and beyond the initial covered test.

If you have a Medicare plan through an insurance company, call your company to determine whether you have any co-pay, co-insurance or deductible amounts you could be billed.

An Ounce of Prevention

These covered Medicare preventive screenings and tests play a powerful role in helping you stay healthy, independent and active well into this time of your life. You’ve worked hard for many years to obtain your Medicare health benefits. Empower yourself to know these extra perks from Medicare and do take advantage of them.

Schedule your Medicare test or screening as soon as you can – it may just help save your life!

Join the Conversation:

What preventive Medicare benefits have you used? Was there a time when a medical issue you experienced was caught early through a preventive test or screening, and how did that make a difference in your life? What advice or encouragement would you suggest to other women who may be “appointment-shy” when scheduling these benefits?

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Originally posted at: Lexi Sudin’s Grey Ruffle Cardigan

After my husband Tom died in 2007, I remember how quickly the world seemed to move on.

There were flowers, cards, casseroles, hugs, and kind words from people who truly cared. I was grateful for every gesture. In those early days, love often arrived in practical forms – a meal, a note, a hand on my shoulder, someone sitting quietly beside me when there were no words.

But eventually, the phone rang less often. The cards stopped coming. The casseroles disappeared. People returned to their ordinary lives, as they naturally needed to do.

Yet my ordinary life was gone.

When the Funeral Is Over

The paperwork kept arriving. Financial decisions needed attention. Documents had to be gathered. Accounts had to be changed. Financial decisions needed attention. Tax questions surfaced. Invitations felt different. My identity felt unsettled. I was still Kathleen, of course – but I was also now a widow, trying to understand what life would look like from here.

That is something many widows understand. The funeral may be over, but widowhood is just beginning.

Each year on June 23, International Widows Day gives us a reason to pause and see widows more clearly. Not with pity. Not with awkward silence. But with compassion, respect, and a deeper understanding of what this life transition really involves.

The United Nations has estimated there are approximately 258 million widows worldwide, many facing poverty, discrimination, and exclusion.

Widowhood Is More Than Grief

Widowhood is not simply an emotional loss, although grief is certainly at the center of it. Widowhood can also bring financial uncertainty, social isolation, legal decisions, housing questions, health concerns, changed friendships, and a quiet but profound shift in identity.

For some widows, the challenges are immediate and severe. Around the world, widows may face poverty, discrimination, loss of property rights, social exclusion, and harmful traditions. Here in the United States, the struggles may look different, but they are still very real. Many women find themselves managing money alone for the first time, making major decisions while grieving, or discovering that their social world has changed in ways they did not expect.

Even widows who appear “strong” may be carrying far more than others realize.

“I Didn’t Know It Would Be Like This”

I have spent many years listening to widows and the professionals who serve them. Again and again, I have heard women describe the same painful surprise: “I didn’t know it would be like this.”

They expected grief. They did not always expect the administrative avalanche.

They expected sadness. They did not always expect loneliness in a room full of people.

They expected to miss their spouse. They did not always expect to miss the version of themselves they had been in that marriage.

They expected hard days. They did not always expect that major financial decisions might be required before they felt emotionally ready to make them.

This is why International Widows Day matters. It reminds us that widowhood is not a small or private issue affecting only a few women. It is a major life transition experienced by millions. And because women often live longer than men, many women will spend part of their later lives widowed.

Resilience Grows Best with Support

Widowhood is not only a story of loss. It is also a story of courage, resilience, reinvention, and community.

I have seen widows rebuild lives of meaning and purpose. I have seen them become mentors, volunteers, advocates, writers, travelers, business owners, generous friends, loving grandmothers, wise leaders, and sources of strength for others. I have seen women who once felt overwhelmed slowly regain confidence. I have seen them learn to handle financial matters, make thoughtful decisions, ask better questions, and discover new parts of themselves.

But I have also learned this: resilience grows best when surrounded by support.

Widows do not need people to swoop in and take over. They need people to walk beside them. They need friends who keep inviting them, even if they often say no at first. They need family members who listen without rushing them. They need financial, legal, healthcare, and faith leaders who understand that grief affects decision-making. They need practical help without condescension. They need room to be both strong and vulnerable.

The Power of Widow-to-Widow Connection

Sometimes, most of all, widows need to be with other widows.

There is a special kind of relief that comes from sitting with someone who understands without needing a long explanation. Another widow may know why a simple form can bring tears, why a wedding invitation can feel complicated, why eating alone can be so hard, or why confidence may come back in small, uneven steps.

That is why organizations devoted to widow support are so important.

Modern Widows Club has helped change the conversation by focusing on widow care, empowerment, community, and rebuilding. Its work reminds widows that they are not alone and that life after loss can include healing, growth, leadership, friendship, and renewed purpose.

Soaring Spirits International is another powerful example. Through programs such as Widowed Village and Camp Widow, it connects widowed people with others who understand the landscape of grief and the long process of rebuilding. These communities do not erase the loss. Nothing can do that. But they can make the path less lonely.

For widows, connection is not a luxury. It is part of healing.

What Support Can Look Like

On International Widows Day, those of us who care about widows can ask ourselves some practical questions.

• Do we keep showing up after the first few weeks?
• Do we invite widowed friends to dinner, concerts, holidays, and ordinary outings?
• Do we say their spouse’s name, rather than pretending the person never existed?
• Do we offer help with specific tasks, such as sorting papers, making phone calls, or getting to appointments?
• Do we respect that grief has no neat timetable?
• Do we encourage widows to delay major irreversible decisions when possible, while still helping them handle what truly must be done?
• Do we support organizations that provide widow-to-widow connection?
• Do our professional communities – financial planning, law, healthcare, counseling, senior living, faith communities – understand widowhood well enough to respond with patience and care?

Sometimes the most meaningful support is simple. A text that says, “I’m thinking of you today.” An invitation with no pressure attached. A willingness to listen to the same story again. An offer to sit together while she opens difficult mail. A reminder that she is still included.

Please Don’t Assume

Please do not assume a widow is “over it” because she smiles. Please do not assume she is helpless because she cries. Please do not assume that because a year has passed, her life has settled into something easy.

Widowhood changes over time, but it does not disappear. Grief evolves. Confidence may return. New joy may come. Purpose may deepen. Love may be remembered with more gratitude than anguish. But the loss remains part of the story.

A Day for All of Us

After Tom died, I could not have imagined all the ways my own life would continue to unfold. I wrote, taught, did research, spoke, listened, learned, and eventually loved again. My life did not end with widowhood. But widowhood changed me. It deepened my compassion. It sharpened my sense of purpose. It taught me how much widows need both practical guidance and tender understanding.

That is why I believe International Widows Day is not only for widows. It is for all of us.

It is a day to notice the woman sitting alone in church, the neighbor who no longer gets invited to couples’ dinners, and the client trying to understand documents she never handled before. It is also a day to notice the friend who seems capable but is exhausted, the mother or grandmother who does not want to be a burden, the newly widowed woman who cannot yet imagine a future, and the long-widowed woman who still carries love and loss in the same heart.

On June 23, let us see widows more clearly.

Not as women to be pitied.

Not as many problems to be solved.

Not as people who need to “move on” according to someone else’s timetable.

But as women navigating one of life’s most profound transitions, where courage, confusion, sorrow, strength, and hope often live side by side.

And let us remember this: no widow should have to move forward entirely on her own.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you think widows are often excluded from social events? What would be the best solution to isolation after loss?