Living now, in our day and time, is unparalleled, which requires me to revisit this theme again.

You might ask, “What do you mean?”

Every time I finish an article, something amazing happens that reminds me of the incredible resilience and creativity of humanity.

Hearing-Aids

A few months ago, a loved-one who suffers from severe hearing loss, purchased a pair of these gadgets.

Wow, have times changed!

These tiny machines are almost imperceptible, unlike before.

Having a more aesthetic appearance doesn’t compromise the ability to experience improved hearing. Yay!

But the downside is that they remain quite expensive.

Newer apparatuses, OTCs (over the counter) aren’t as pricey, but may be ineffective for those suffering from severe hearing loss.

As innovation continues, the price should drop. Think the first cell phones, computers, and most fresh developments. The earlier models were out of the average price range for the hoi polloi, but prices came down, so I remain hopeful.

Weight Loss Products

Without getting into the complications of obesity, we know aging equals slowing down, which includes our metabolism.

To lose weight reminds us of the Greek myth of Sisyphus. Every time he pushed the ball uphill, it rolled back down.

Sound familiar?

Exhausting and unattainable.

Towards the latter part of the 20th century, a new type of surgery, Gastric Bypass, became available to those who suffered from morbid obesity. The health of many individuals choosing this option improved, and I understand some of the complex challenges.

In the late 1990s, I provided psychosocial evaluations for many candidates. When I stopped my evaluation services, the use of the gastric sleeve began. Soon, they found it an even less invasive tool than the bypass.

Now fast forward another decade. Something remarkable happened. Companies focusing on diabetes treatment created drugs to assist individuals with moderate weight gain.

Some of my clients, who have been prescribed these medications, reported they’ve lost 30 to 40 pounds. These drugs have become so popular that supply outweighs demand.

Eye Transplant

How about the first eyeball replacement?

For several decades, the cornea transplant reaped success for many recipients, but the total eye?

The New Scientist reported that this past November ophthalmologists transplanted a whole human eye, including eyelid, eyebrow, and eyelashes.

ScienceAlert.com states that the surgical team removed the blood supply and optic nerve from the donor and grafted it onto a line worker who survived a 7,200-volt electric shock two years earlier.

Right now, the eye remains healthy with good blood supply and generates an electrical signal.

The downside? No vision yet, but the physicians, although circumspect about their predictions, remain hopeful.

Other than our science fiction writers, who could’ve predicted such a feat? Another example of our bright future regarding medical innovation.

Love Again

How about love in the 21st century for older adults? The world of dating, senior relationships, and marriage has exploded.

I’ve heard stories about people in their 80s and 90s finding love again, and some individuals have committed themselves to monogamous relationships, even marriage.

Some people ask, why bother? My response? Why not? Love, even at these riper ages, contributes to greater health and wellbeing. Two years ago, one of my clients told me she follows the mantra that love multiplies, not divides. That sentence glows in my mind forever.

Longer, healthier lives mean more opportunities for finding love later in life.

Yes, relationship services continue to court this demographic, and there couldn’t be a better example than the Bachelor series’ newest franchise, The Golden Bachelor.

The Wrap.com reported that ABC’s debut of this spinoff stood as the most-watched and highest-rated program for Thursday night viewers. More people, 4.36 million, watched Gerry pursue love, beating the 3.90 million who viewed NBC’s People’s Choice Country awards.

The Bachelor’s latest about later-in-life-love triumphed over its last franchise debut by 45 percent.

Robert Browning couldn’t have been more prescient when he wooed Elizabeth with his enchanting words:

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be. The last of life for which the first was made…

These opportunities don’t exist for everyone, which I’ve addressed in many articles. The unfairness of life, including premature death, loss of loved ones, encroaching disabilities, and age-related diseases.

But a positive outlook remains the best panacea for depression and hopelessness.

What does one have to lose by embracing and celebrating living in the now?

Humanity will continue its march toward progress as brilliant, creative, and determined individuals seek ways to improve the lives of others.

Endless possibilities.

Most people can’t foretell their time left on this earth. But with the holiday season upon us, why not revel in our abundance, and who knows what dazzling gift might await around the corner?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which modern day invention has made a huge difference in your life and why? Have you considered the plus sides of life now vs life in the past century? Have you ever imagined a future now? How does it look like?

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Photo: @kylerichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Tan Short Teddy Coat Jacket

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Glitter fairies unite! There’s nothing like the holidays to bring out the girlie-glitter-glamor-gal in all of us. This goes for holiday decorating as well as makeup, and in my house, it looks like a glitter fairy dropped acid and tossed multi-colored sparkles all over the place, or a drunk gnome barfed red and green on the stuffed reindeer dancing on the mantlepiece and called it festive.

Whatever way you look at glitter, though, it has a safe and easily available mood-altering effect on nearly everyone.

With that in mind, glitter on mature skin can be an epic failure or a massive success to make you the coolest lady in the room, and it all depends on a few strategic factors that we are going over in this article and video. Let’s spread some glitter!

How to Wear Glittery Eyeshadow Without Scaring the Grandchildren

The biggest hindrance to wearing glittery eyeshadow is, without a doubt, dry, crepey lids. Because of this, how can you hydrate your eyelids to avoid the scary dry-eyelid/misplaced glitter look?

How to Hydrate Your Lids

Hydrating your eyelids is not about moisturizer or even eye cream. (Skin care companies just let out a collective groan.) It’s first and foremost about infusing your body with the right types of oils.

I recommend taking Omega 3-6-9 oils in high doses if your stomach will allow it. For example, after you go through menopause, you need more oils taken internally than before menopause. I take 2 tablespoons (1500mg x 2) morning and night, and one at lunch if I remember. I also suggest you take vitamin E, A, C, D, and zinc as well, as these all contribute to not only your general health, but also to deeply hydrating your skin. Lastly, drink 8-10 glasses of spring water daily.

Topical Products

Topical skincare can help, so instead of an eye cream, try applying a C-serum to your face, neck, and all around your eye area, including your lids, every day. As a caveat, be sure you are using an oil soluble vitamin C like tetrahexyldecyl ascorbate (THDA) instead of a water-soluble product like L-ascorbic acid. It will go deeper into your skin and hydrate much better.

Use an Eye-Base

If your lids are dry, sometimes adding an eyeshadow base can help to prevent the shadow from settling in the dry skin. If you have oily lids, use it to keep the shadow from bunching up and looking creased.

Where should you place glitter on your eyelid?

I recommend using matte eyeshadows as a base and crease color if you tend toward dry, crepey lids, and then add a bit of glitter in the middle of your eye socket. Another trick is to use all matte shades, and then wash a glittery color like gold or silver over your eye area using a very soft bristled brush for a sheer finish. The thicker and stiffer the bristles, the more product you will apply.

How to Wear Glittery Lipstick Without Migrating into Fine Lines

One time on a flight I applied a glittery orange colored lipstick without using a mirror (I was overly confidant it would look good. I mean, I AM a pro after all). As I disembarked the plane, people kept looking at me with a worrisome sidelong gaze, so popped into a bathroom to see why.

To my horror, the bright orange lipstick had very quickly migrated into my lip lines and extended beyond my natural lip line! I had even smiled at a cute guy on the off ramp. Yikes.

To avoid this tragic moment, here are my thoughts on glittery lipstick.

Hydrate (Again)

Dry lips are no place for glitter, so I recommend using an exfoliating product on your lips to remove the parched, dead skin. You do this by drying out your lips as much as possible, then using a stiff bristled toothbrush with some exfoliating product and brushing them until they are smooth. (Don’t forget you can use C-Serum on your lips as well to deeply hydrate.)

Remove Moisture/Add Moisture

Apply foundation and powder on dry lips to give the lipstick something to adhere to.

Lip Liner

Apply lipliner slightly outside your natural lip line and darken the corners more to make them appear plumper. (See video demonstration.)

Lipstick and Glitter

Add your lipstick of choice and blend with the liner without having it go over the liner into the lip lines. You can add glitter on top or mix a powder glitter with a lip gloss for maximum effect. Smooch!

How to Add Glitter to Cheeks and Be Cool at the Same Time

To use the words, glitter and cool in the same sentence, it takes a little savvy. Mind you, my teenage daughter informed me I would never be cool, but let’s ignore that snarky comment for now. If you spend any time on social media, you will see women of all ages adding glitter to their cheeks, but there is a downside to this trend.

If you have dry skin, the glitter will search out your well-earned laugh lines and snuggle down not to be dislodged without makeup remover. Lovely.

How can you add cheek glitter and look cool?

Hydrate (Yawn)

If you are taking your internal oils, drinking spring water, and using external hydrating products like C serum, hyaluronic acid, and moisturizer, then your skin will handle glitter much better than if it’s dry and dehydrated.

Cream or Powder?

In my opinion, it’s a matter of preference if you use cream or powder cheek glitter. I use both, but then I’m (supposedly) a pro. In any case, apply it to the top of your cheekbone, and avoid your facial lines as much as possible. I like to tap it on the high points of the face so that it’s most apparent when the light hits it and not as an impulsive streak.

What Order?

Should you apply glitter, blush, contour, or contour, blush, glitter? It doesn’t matter. Be creative, go for it, have fun.

The glitter fairies are ready to spring to action to dapple shiny things all over your house and face, and by gosh we need it. If you’re like me, you will toss the idea of being cool (since according to my daughter it’s relatively impossible) grab the glitter and have a party. The holidays are the perfect time to tap into the feel-good moments of family fever and sprinkle love and joy everywhere. Enjoy.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

When was the last time you used glitter in your makeup? Do you think glitter works well for the holidays? What glittery makeup products have you tried?

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Photo + Info: @tamrajudge

Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Black Crystal Embellished Dress

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Photo + Info: @kylerichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Black Blazer

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The first year after it happened, I was devastated.

It was Mother’s Day and both my son and daughter, then in their late 20s, were using drugs and alcohol. I waited and waited for the call. Like all day. Nothing.

I remember standing in the shower that night, my head pressed against the wet tile, sobbing convulsively. It hurt so bad. SO bad. There was a compressed knot in my gut. I felt forsaken. Abandoned.

I questioned… Was I that bad of a mother? Did they really hate me that much? What did I do wrong that they feel it’s okay to do this to me?

Once my reason returned, I knew I had been a conscientious mother; involved and nurturing. Not perfect, mind you, but I was confident in the fact that I gave them my all from my personal toolbox of loving and caring.

The next year it happened again. I didn’t cry as hard, but it still hurt.

I tried to be happy for the mothers around me whose grown children showered them with attention and gifts, but it was a double-edged sword of genuinely wanting to feel glad for them and yet feeling the sorrow and abandonment in my own heart.

Then… it became something that no mother should have to endure; it became normal.

Moving on from There

Eventually, my son shared with me one Easter that at one point he felt like he was having a heart attack from using meth, and he stopped using drugs. He went back to church and turned his life around in a big way. His girlfriend at the time was a 9-year hardcore heroin addict, and she turned her life around as well. They’re now married and have a son. My son is 39 now, and we have a good relationship, calls and all.

My daughter, however, remains estranged. Sometimes she responds to my messages (when I don’t ask too many questions) and seems very reluctant to say “I love you” in response to my telling her often that I love her. That hurts, but I won’t stop saying it.

I endured a toxic relationship with my own mother, and I wanted desperately to flip the script on the pages of history and enjoy a close, fun relationship with my daughter, now 42. But, alas, the story isn’t over, and I still hold out hope that one day it’ll happen.

Over the years, I’ve learned four self-healing ways to manage an adult estranged child.

No Wallowing or Staying Stuck!

Through the decades of estrangement from my daughter, despite my attempts to foster a relationship, I’ve learned that wallowing or staying stuck in grief is pointless and serves no good purpose in my life. Yes, of course, we must fully grieve the story we held in our hearts and heads about what our relationships would look like. But wallowing year after year is not helpful for you, or your adult child. They’re going about their life, and you need to do the same.

Dr. John Delony, Ramsey personality and host of The Dr. John Delony Show, urges call-in listeners to buy a cinderblock at the local hardware store. He says to write the thing you’ve been carrying around for a long time on a piece of paper taped to the cinderblock. Carry that cinderblock around the house for as long as you can hold it, then rip the paper off and lay it down in the farthest back corner of your yard never to pick it up again.

There is value in his advice. We carry our grief until it gets so heavy we can’t manage it. Lay it down!

Create New Goals for Yourself

Instead of uber-focusing on your estranged adult child, create 2-3 new goals that you want to accomplish. This could mean you choose to volunteer a couple of hours per week at your favorite local non-profit. Women who are 60+ have a plethora of gifts and talents acquired and honed through the years.

Do you play the piano? Donate or “sell” your time teaching a youngster to play.

Are you a retired educator? Tutor.

Do you know a thing or two about painting? Take a budding artist under your wing.

Are you a writer? Help someone draft a book.

The point is: go outside yourself and invest in someone else. It really does help fill the gap that estrangement leaves.

Slay the Anger Monster

It’s natural to feel angry as part of the grieving process. Your adult child is still living yet it feels like a death. Friends and family may attempt to be supportive in commiserating with you, but often they feed your feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Instead, take a mental step back and try to understand what led to the estrangement.

Does your family dance the dance of dysfunction in its core structure? Do patterns of toxic communication permeate conversations? Perhaps you view your family as whole and healthy. Looking at your family dynamics from a more objective vantage point may make the estrangement feel less personal.

The reason doesn’t matter as much as you have the willingness to slay the anger monster and adopt an open-door attitude. Note: this doesn’t mean hard conversations and boundaries won’t need addressing.

Walk into Acceptance

It seems so trite to say it is what it is but accepting circumstances as they are is part of your own healing process. Instead of fearing what the future holds with your estranged adult child, take several deep breaths, drop your shoulders, and simply accept that this is your story… for now.

I know a thing or two about those thoughts that race across your brain in frantic circles when you’re trying to go to sleep. Those revved up thoughts torment you while you toss and turn, wondering where your adult child is, what they’re doing, and if they’ll ever realize how much they’ve hurt you.

You dream of the day they race back into your life, throw their arms around you, apologize for their waywardness, and confess their undying love for you. Dreams are good, and continuing to hold out hope for reconciliation is noble, but acceptance for the present is necessary.

I understand the pain of an adult estranged child. I know it creates a gap during every holiday… heck every day, really. However, implementing these four self-healing strategies will help you move on with your own life while continuing to hold on to hope that one day reconciliation will come. And if it doesn’t? You will have continued building a life of meaning and purpose!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is adult child estrangement part of your daily life? How do you handle it? Have you found reconciliation or is this still a hope for the future?

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