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Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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8 Behaviors to Curb Overeating at Home and on Vacation (#8 Is My Favorite)

8 Behaviors to Curb Overeating at Home and on Vacation (#8 Is My Favorite)

I’m an emotional eater. When I feel anxious or bored, I reach for something sweet. It’s a distraction that constantly needs feeding. After retirement, despite regular exercise, my belly expanded, and rolls appeared around my middle.

As a travel, food, and drinks writer, overeating is an occupational hazard. Tasting food is part of the job. After much frustration, I identified habits that needed to change: eating too much bread, high-calorie snacking during the afternoon and after dinner, overconsumption of sweets, and lack of portion control.

I adopted 8 behaviors to curb overeating while at home and while traveling. Every person is different. This is what worked for me:

#1: Limit Bread Consumption

Set a limit of two pieces of bread per day. I rarely eat bread for breakfast. My go‑to meal is yogurt and berries. At lunch, I’ll have a salad or a bagel with cheese, which keeps things simple without feeling restrictive.

#2: No Snacking After Meals

Cut out snacking after dinner and choose fruit for afternoon treats. If I do want something at night, I reach for low‑calorie options like homemade popcorn. It satisfies the urge to munch without turning into a full second meal.

#3: Cut Down on Treats

Eat sweets and savory snacks in moderation. Instead of cutting out treats completely, I focus on portion size. Two Hershey’s Kisses instead of five. A handful of almonds instead of a cup.

#4: Stick to Smaller Portions

Fill half your plate with salad and keep proteins to a reasonable minimum. I like salads with lots of color: greens, peppers, cucumbers, a few craisins, and a dressing I enjoy. For protein, I’ll eat half a chicken breast and save the rest for sandwiches or another meal.

#5: Use Beverages as Snacks

Prepare tea, low‑calorie hot chocolate, or other beverages as snacks. I learned this from my daughter, who lives in Scotland. A warm drink can be satisfying, especially when I’m not hungry but want something to mark a break in the day.

#6: Work Out with Weights

Strength training makes me feel challenged and tired in a good way. It’s less about burning calories and more about building a routine that supports how I want to feel in my body.

#7: Put The Scale Away

Weighing myself every day can set off emotional eating. Daily fluctuations can be discouraging and misleading. I’ve found that stepping back from the scale helps me focus on habits rather than numbers.

#8: Don’t Eat Unless You’re Hungry

Wait until you are hungry to eat. This sounds simple, but it’s surprisingly easy to forget, especially when travel disrupts your usual rhythms. Pausing to check in with actual hunger cues has made a noticeable difference.

One moment stands out. I was traveling last month, staying in a small hotel in Vietnam with a breakfast buffet that could tempt anyone into excess: warm pastries, cheeses, cured meats, fresh bread still steaming. A few years ago, I would have treated it like a challenge. But that morning, I paused.

I filled half my plate with fruit, added a small pastry I wanted, and made myself a cup of tea. Sitting by the window, watching the city wake up, I realized I didn’t feel deprived at all.

My 8 Habits

These eight habits aren’t about perfection or rigid rules. They’re about creating small, sustainable patterns that help me, whether I’m at home, on the road, or navigating a buffet in a hotel lounge after a long travel day. One mindful choice makes the next one easier.

Mindful eating doesn’t come easy. It takes practice, and each day may be different depending on whether you’re at a family reunion with a full spread or going out for drinks with co-workers after a long, hard day at the office. I find that some days are better than others. And sometimes I fall back into old habits. The good thing is, you can always try again. Eating less doesn’t mean depriving yourself; it means making careful choices about how you want to live.

Let’s Chat:

Do you deal with emotional eating? What have you tried that helps? What hasn’t been helpful?

Skin Care

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How to Make Your Own Essential Oil Blend for Mature Skin (Recipe)

A Basic Essential Oil Blend for Everyday Mature Skin Care

With all the wonderful natural facial serums on the market today, it can be a little overwhelming choosing the correct formula with safe, non-toxic ingredients, all at a reasonable price. The good news is that it’s easy and fun to make a quality product on your own using the miracle of nature – essential oils. 

When I started working with skincare formulas in 2003, one of the first products I was excited about making was an essential oil-based facial serum. My skin needs were changing, and a moisturizing oil made perfect sense for dry, maturing skin.

I decided to work with four wonderful healthy aging essential oils I had discovered: Lavender, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, and Carrot Seed.

The natural and highly effective nature of essential oils makes them perfect for skincare. When blended for their various properties and used with a carrier oil that matches your skin type, you can create a serum tailor-made for your skin.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are the essence of plants. Hidden away in many parts of the plant, like the flowers, seeds, and roots, they are very potent chemical compounds. They can give the plant its scent, protect it from harsh conditions, and help with pollination.

The benefits of essential oils on humans are diverse and amazing. Lavender flower oil, for example, contains compounds that help soothe skin irritation and redness, while the scent reduces feelings of anxiety and stress.

The beautiful Rose essential oil is hydrating to the skin and sometimes used to treat scarring, while the scent is known to help lift depression. 

There are many essential oils to choose from for specific skincare needs. I have used a myriad of different combinations but keep coming back to the tried and true blend from my very first serum.

The four essential oils used are the workhorses of skincare for mature skin, as well as being wonderfully uplifting for mind, body, and spirit. 

The Base Oil Blend Formula

Here’s what you’ll need:

Bottle

1 oz. amber dropper bottle. You can find those in pharmacies or online.

Base (Carrier) Oil

As a base, you can use one of the oils below or a combination of several that meet your skin’s needs:

  • Jojoba oil is my base oil of choice. It’s incredible for most skin types: it’s extremely gentle and non-irritating for sensitive skin, moisturizing for dry skin, balancing for oily skin, ideal for combination skin, and offers a barrier of protection from environmental stressors. It also helps skin glow as it delivers deep hydration.
  • Rosehip oil smooths the skin’s texture and calms redness and irritation.
  • Argan oil contains high levels of vitamin E and absorbs thoroughly into the skin leaving little oily residue.
  • Avocado oil is effective at treating age spots and sun damage, as well as helping to soothe inflammatory conditions such as blemishes and eczema.
  • Olive oil is a heavier oil and the perfect choice if your skin needs a mega-dose of hydration. Just be aware that olive oil takes longer to absorb and leaves the skin with an oily feeling. This may be desirable for extremely dry, red, itchy skin.

Essential Oils

  • Lavender essential oil is very versatile and healing. It helps reduce inflammation, kill bacteria, and clear pores. Its scent is also calming and soothing.
  • Frankincense essential oil helps to tone and strengthen mature skin in addition to fighting bacteria and balancing oil production.
  • Rose Geranium essential oil helps tighten the skin by reducing the appearance of fine lines, helps reduce inflammation and fight redness, and offers anti-bacterial benefits to help fight the occasional breakout. The scent is also known to be soothing and balancing.
  • Carrot seed oil is a fantastic essential oil for combination skin. It helps even the skin tone while reducing inflammation and increasing water retention.

The Recipe

Let’s start with a simple recipe:

  • 1 oz. Jojoba oil (or carrier oil of your choice)
  • 10 drops Lavender
  • 10 drops Frankincense
  • 10 drops Rose Geranium
  • 10 drops Carrot seed oil 

Place the essential oil drops in the amber dropper bottle then fill with Jojoba/carrier oil. It’s that simple!

Applying Your Homemade Serum

Use this serum morning and evening as part of your regular skincare routine. Serums work best when applied after cleansing your face. You can cleanse with Coconut Oil or a mixture of oils for enhanced hydration (we will cover this in the next article) or use your regular facial cleanser.

Essential oils will not interfere in any way with your normal skincare products.

Keep in mind that the serum is concentrated. Use only a pea-sized amount, work it into your fingertips, and apply evenly over the face without tugging or pulling.

If your skin feels tacky, reduce the amount on the next application. Your skin should feel soft, not oily. Follow with your regular moisturizer if you like. 

Making your own facial serum is fun and rewarding! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas on essential oils and making personalized serums and skincare.

What facial serum do you use? Have you made one yourself? What is your favorite essential oil for skin care? Please share your thoughts with our community!

8 Behaviors to Curb Overeating at Home and on Vacation (#8 Is My Favorite)

8 Behaviors to Curb Overeating at Home and on Vacation (#8 Is My Favorite)

I’m an emotional eater. When I feel anxious or bored, I reach for something sweet. It’s a distraction that constantly needs feeding. After retirement, despite regular exercise, my belly expanded, and rolls appeared around my middle.

As a travel, food, and drinks writer, overeating is an occupational hazard. Tasting food is part of the job. After much frustration, I identified habits that needed to change: eating too much bread, high-calorie snacking during the afternoon and after dinner, overconsumption of sweets, and lack of portion control.

I adopted 8 behaviors to curb overeating while at home and while traveling. Every person is different. This is what worked for me:

#1: Limit Bread Consumption

Set a limit of two pieces of bread per day. I rarely eat bread for breakfast. My go‑to meal is yogurt and berries. At lunch, I’ll have a salad or a bagel with cheese, which keeps things simple without feeling restrictive.

#2: No Snacking After Meals

Cut out snacking after dinner and choose fruit for afternoon treats. If I do want something at night, I reach for low‑calorie options like homemade popcorn. It satisfies the urge to munch without turning into a full second meal.

#3: Cut Down on Treats

Eat sweets and savory snacks in moderation. Instead of cutting out treats completely, I focus on portion size. Two Hershey’s Kisses instead of five. A handful of almonds instead of a cup.

#4: Stick to Smaller Portions

Fill half your plate with salad and keep proteins to a reasonable minimum. I like salads with lots of color: greens, peppers, cucumbers, a few craisins, and a dressing I enjoy. For protein, I’ll eat half a chicken breast and save the rest for sandwiches or another meal.

#5: Use Beverages as Snacks

Prepare tea, low‑calorie hot chocolate, or other beverages as snacks. I learned this from my daughter, who lives in Scotland. A warm drink can be satisfying, especially when I’m not hungry but want something to mark a break in the day.

#6: Work Out with Weights

Strength training makes me feel challenged and tired in a good way. It’s less about burning calories and more about building a routine that supports how I want to feel in my body.

#7: Put The Scale Away

Weighing myself every day can set off emotional eating. Daily fluctuations can be discouraging and misleading. I’ve found that stepping back from the scale helps me focus on habits rather than numbers.

#8: Don’t Eat Unless You’re Hungry

Wait until you are hungry to eat. This sounds simple, but it’s surprisingly easy to forget, especially when travel disrupts your usual rhythms. Pausing to check in with actual hunger cues has made a noticeable difference.

One moment stands out. I was traveling last month, staying in a small hotel in Vietnam with a breakfast buffet that could tempt anyone into excess: warm pastries, cheeses, cured meats, fresh bread still steaming. A few years ago, I would have treated it like a challenge. But that morning, I paused.

I filled half my plate with fruit, added a small pastry I wanted, and made myself a cup of tea. Sitting by the window, watching the city wake up, I realized I didn’t feel deprived at all.

My 8 Habits

These eight habits aren’t about perfection or rigid rules. They’re about creating small, sustainable patterns that help me, whether I’m at home, on the road, or navigating a buffet in a hotel lounge after a long travel day. One mindful choice makes the next one easier.

Mindful eating doesn’t come easy. It takes practice, and each day may be different depending on whether you’re at a family reunion with a full spread or going out for drinks with co-workers after a long, hard day at the office. I find that some days are better than others. And sometimes I fall back into old habits. The good thing is, you can always try again. Eating less doesn’t mean depriving yourself; it means making careful choices about how you want to live.

Let’s Chat:

Do you deal with emotional eating? What have you tried that helps? What hasn’t been helpful?

Read More

Salley Carson’s Blue Striped Pants Set

Salley Carson’s Blue Striped Pants Set / Southern Charm Instagram Fashion March 2026

Pull-on pants are a must for travel, and Salley Carson is our girl when it comes to chic ones like the blue knit striped set that she just posted on her Instagram story. The navy stripes give it that classic coastal feel, making you look put together effortlessly, which is exactly what you want when you are on the go. So keep scrolling and set your summer or vacation nights with Salley’s style. 

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Salley Carson's Blue Striped Pants Set

Photo: @salleycarson


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Why So Many Mothers Blame Themselves When Adult Children Pull Away

Why So Many Mothers Blame Themselves When Adult Children Pull Away

Many women expect the empty nest. They anticipate quieter homes, fewer family obligations, and more independence.

What they do not expect is the emotional shift that sometimes occurs when adult children begin living fully independent lives.

For some mothers, that shift includes distance. When it happens, many women ask themselves a painful question: What did I do wrong?

The Instinct to Revisit the Past

When relationships with adult children become strained, mothers often revisit their years of parenting with a critical eye. They remember moments they wish they had handled differently. They replay arguments from long ago. They wonder if one decision during their children’s younger years somehow damaged the relationship.

But this instinct toward self-blame often overlooks an important truth. Adult children are living complex lives shaped by many influences beyond their parents.

Adult Children Are Individuals

By the time children reach adulthood, their lives include experiences that parents cannot fully see. They form friendships, romantic relationships, and professional identities. They develop beliefs and perspectives that may differ from the ones they grew up with.

Sometimes these differences naturally create distance between generations. That distance can feel painful for mothers who spent decades deeply involved in their children’s lives. But it does not automatically mean that anyone failed.

The Emotional Trap of Guilt

When mothers believe they are responsible for their adult children’s choices, guilt can quietly take over. They begin carrying emotional burdens that do not belong to them. Then they try harder to repair the relationship, sometimes becoming more anxious and involved than their adult children want.

Ironically, this can create more tension rather than less.

A Different Way to Think About Motherhood

Motherhood does not end when children become adults.

But it does evolve.

The role shifts from guiding and protecting to something more subtle. It becomes a relationship between two adults rather than a relationship between parent and child.

That shift can feel uncomfortable at first. Yet it can also open the door to something meaningful: a relationship based on mutual respect rather than responsibility.

Rediscovering Your Own Life

Many women reach their 60s and 70s after decades of caring for others. They have raised families, supported spouses, and built households that revolved around the needs of their children.

When adult children become independent, mothers often rediscover something they set aside for years.

Their own lives.

This stage can include new friendships, travel, learning opportunities, volunteer work, creative pursuits, and personal growth.

The love between mother and child does not disappear when roles change. But mothers are allowed to continue growing as individuals as well.

A New Chapter

If you are experiencing distance from an adult child, it may be one of the most emotionally complex stages of motherhood.

Yet it can also become the beginning of a new chapter. One where love continues, but self-blame gradually gives way to clarity and peace.

If this is a season you are navigating, I created a short guide called 5 Truths to Help You Let Go with Love. It offers gentle encouragement for mothers whose relationships with adult children are changing.

Download 5 Truths HERE.

Let’s Discuss:

Are you carrying blame for a distance in your relationship with your adult child? Have you tried shrinking the distance only to see it widen?

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Women, Grief, and the Strength No One Talks About

Women, Grief, and the Strength No One Talks About

Every March, during Women’s History Month, we celebrate women who made history: pioneers, activists, leaders, and trailblazers whose names appear in books and documentaries. Their contributions deserve recognition. But as someone who works in the funeral profession and also serves as a life coach, I often think about another group of women whose strength rarely makes headlines.

They are not famous. They are daughters, wives, sisters, mothers, and friends. Yet in some of life’s most difficult moments, they quietly become the emotional center holding everyone else together.

Working around death gives you a different perspective on people. And one thing I have seen over and over again is this: when grief arrives, women often step forward first.

The Women Who Step Forward

In the days following a death, someone has to make the calls, gather the photos, meet with the funeral director, and begin the process of saying goodbye. Very often, that person is a woman.

She is the daughter arranging the service while comforting her siblings.

She is the widow greeting visitors with grace even when her own heart is breaking.

She is the sister organizing the details so everyone else can focus on remembering.

In my work, I see women quietly become the emotional anchors of families during loss. They manage the logistics, absorb the emotions of others, and hold space for grief in ways that are rarely acknowledged.

This kind of strength rarely appears in history books, but it is everywhere.

When Death Was Women’s Work

One of the things many people don’t realize is that historically, death care was women’s work.

Long before funeral homes existed, death happened in the home. Women were the ones who cared for the body, washed it, dressed it, and prepared it for burial. These women were sometimes called “layers-out” or “watchwomen.” They cared for the dead the same way they cared for the sick: with compassion, dignity, and familiarity.

There was no industry then. No corporate structure. No formal funeral profession. It was simply part of community life.

Then the mid-1800s changed everything.

After the Civil War, embalming became more common so that soldiers could be transported home to their families. Over time, death care became professionalized. Funeral homes were established. Licensing and training programs were created.

And as the work became more structured and profitable, men increasingly dominated the profession.

In many ways, once death care became a business, it stopped being considered women’s work.

The Women Who Stayed

Even as the industry changed, women continued to lead and shape it in important ways.

One of the earliest examples was Henrietta Duterte, who became the first known woman in the United States to run a funeral home. After her husband died in 1858, she took over the family business in Philadelphia and operated it successfully for decades.

Her funeral home was not just a business. It was also a stop on the Underground Railroad, helping enslaved people escape to freedom.

Women like her proved something powerful: compassion and professionalism could exist together in death care.

A Profession Coming Full Circle

Today something interesting is happening in the funeral profession. More women are entering mortuary science programs than ever before. In many schools, women now make up the majority of students.

In some ways, the profession is coming full circle.

Women are returning to a role they historically held, not just as caretakers but as licensed professionals, business owners, and leaders in the field.

And honestly, I see that every day where I work.

The Women I Work Beside

I am incredibly lucky to work in a funeral home where women play a central role in the culture and the care families receive.

My boss, Tania, is one of those people who seems almost made for this profession. She is genuine, compassionate, and somehow manages to keep a sense of humor in a line of work where humor might seem impossible. But the truth is, you have to have it in this business. Without it, the emotional weight would be too heavy.

She has managed something that many women know well: balancing being a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a business owner, all while leading a funeral home with empathy and professionalism.

Our funeral home is mostly women, and I genuinely believe that brings something special to the environment. There is a kind of emotional intuition that happens naturally. Families often feel it the moment they walk through the door.

There is a warmth, a softness, and yes, maybe even a little estrogen in the room.

And honestly, I think that helps.

The Invisible Labor of Grief

One of the things I see most often in my work is what I call the invisible labor of grief.

After the funeral ends and everyone goes home, someone still has to deal with the paperwork, the thank-you notes, the estate questions, the endless decisions that follow a death.

Many times, that person is a woman.

As a life coach, I also see how women carry emotional responsibilities for everyone around them. They comfort others, manage family dynamics, and try to keep everything functioning even while their own hearts are hurting.

But grief does not disappear simply because we stay busy.

Eventually, every person needs space to feel their own loss.

Strength That Happens Quietly

During Women’s History Month, we often celebrate women who changed the course of history. But there are countless women whose strength unfolds quietly every day.

The woman sitting beside a hospital bed for weeks.

The daughter who manages every detail after a parent dies.

The widow who slowly rebuilds her life after losing her partner.

Working around death has taught me something important about strength. It does not always look dramatic or heroic.

Sometimes strength simply looks like getting through the day.

Honoring the Women We Do Not See

This month we will continue to celebrate the famous women whose names shaped history, and we should.

But I also think about the women who show up in funeral homes, hospitals, and living rooms every day, carrying the emotional weight of families and communities.

They are the caregivers.

The organizers.

The quiet leaders during life’s hardest moments.

They may never appear in textbooks, but their strength shapes families and communities in ways that matter deeply.

And if working in the funeral profession has taught me anything, it is this: some of the most powerful forms of courage happen quietly, one day at a time.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Who do you honor during Women’s History Month? Do you only think of famous women or do you also honor those who have served quietly?

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The 4 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Storing Fur Coats (and How to Protect Yours)

The 4 Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Storing Fur Coats (and How to Protect Yours)

There are few wardrobe pieces that feel quite as elegant as a beautiful fur coat. Whether it’s a mink jacket you purchased years ago, a fox stole worn for special occasions, or a coat that was passed down through family, fur has a way of bringing instant sophistication to an outfit.

For many women, a fur coat also carries memories. It may remind you of a celebration, a winter trip, or a loved one who once wore it. Because of that, a fur garment is often more than just clothing. It becomes something worth preserving.

Many women remember a mother or grandmother carefully hanging a fur coat in the closet at the end of winter, gently brushing it and making sure it had enough room so the fur wouldn’t be crushed. Those small habits were part of a long tradition of caring for garments that were meant to last.

The good news is that a well-made fur coat can last for decades if it’s properly cared for. Fur is a natural material, and like leather or fine wool, it needs the right environment to stay soft and beautiful.

Unfortunately, many coats end up being damaged not because they were worn too much, but because they were stored the wrong way.

Over the years, I’ve seen a few storage mistakes come up again and again. The good news is that once you know what to avoid, protecting your coat becomes much easier.

Here are four of the most common mistakes women make when storing fur coats at home.

Mistake #1: Skipping Professional Storage During the Summer

When winter ends, many people simply hang their coats in the closet and forget about them until the following year.

That seems reasonable, but household closets are not always ideal for storing fur long term. During the warmer months, closets can become too warm or too dry, especially in homes with air conditioning or heating systems running regularly.

Fur pelts need a certain amount of natural humidity to stay supple. If the environment becomes too dry, the leather side of the pelt can slowly lose its natural oils. Over time this can make the coat stiff or fragile.

Professional furriers store coats in temperature- and humidity-controlled vaults designed specifically for fur garments. These vaults keep the pelts from drying out and help preserve the softness of the fur.

Summer storage is also a good opportunity for a furrier to inspect the coat, condition the pelts, and make sure everything is still in excellent shape. Small repairs or loose linings can often be addressed before they become larger problems.

Once fall arrives, the coat can be returned home ready for another winter of wear.

Even if you choose to store your coat at home, the key is making sure it stays in a cool, well-ventilated closet where the temperature remains fairly stable throughout the year.

Mistake #2: Storing Your Fur Coat in Plastic

Another very common mistake is storing a fur coat inside a plastic garment bag.

Plastic may seem protective, but it actually prevents the fur from breathing. Because fur is a natural material, it needs air circulation to stay healthy.

When a coat is sealed in plastic for long periods of time, moisture can become trapped inside the bag. That environment can lead to dryness, mildew, or damage to the pelts.

The best way to store a fur coat at home is surprisingly simple: hang it freely on a wide hanger and allow space around it in the closet.

If you need to cover it for travel, a breathable cotton garment bag is fine temporarily. But for long-term storage, your fur coat should be allowed to breathe.

Think of it the same way you would care for a leather jacket. Natural materials perform best when they have airflow and space rather than being sealed away.

Mistake #3: Using Mothballs or Storing Fur Near Strong Odors

Fur garments absorb odors very easily.

Because fur is organic, it tends to pick up scents from its surroundings. That means items like mothballs, perfumes, cleaning products, and cigarette smoke can all become embedded in the fur.

Mothballs are especially problematic. While they may protect certain fabrics from insects, their chemical smell can cling to fur fibers and be very difficult to remove.

Even professional cleaning sometimes struggles to fully eliminate those odors.

The same is true for storing fur near strong perfumes, household cleaning supplies, or smoking areas of the home.

For that reason, it’s best to keep fur coats in a clean, neutral environment away from strong scents or chemicals.

If your coat has been stored properly, it should have only a very light natural scent. That’s a good sign that the garment has remained in a healthy environment.

Mistake #4: Storing Fur in a Cedar Closet

Many people believe cedar closets are ideal for protecting clothing, but they are not always the best place for fur.

Cedar wood releases natural oils that repel insects, which is helpful for wool or cotton garments. However, those oils also create a strong scent that fur can easily absorb.

In addition, cedar can reduce moisture in the surrounding air. Over time that dryness can cause fur pelts to lose the flexibility they need to stay soft and durable.

Because of this, most furriers recommend storing fur garments in a neutral environment rather than in cedar closets or cedar chests.

A regular closet that stays cool and dry is usually a better choice.

A Small Detail That Makes a Big Difference

One simple step that many people overlook is the type of hanger used.

Wire hangers can distort the shoulders of a heavy coat over time. Instead, a wide padded hanger provides better support and helps the coat maintain its shape.

Also make sure the coat has enough space in the closet. Fur should never be tightly compressed between other garments.

Giving the coat room to hang naturally allows the fur to maintain its fullness and texture.

Occasionally giving the coat a gentle shake or brushing the fur lightly with your hand can also help keep the fur looking full and smooth.

Another helpful habit is to let the coat air out occasionally after wearing it in snow or light rain before placing it back in the closet.

Who Buys Fur Coats Today?

Another question that often comes up, especially for women who have coats stored away for many years, is what to do with a fur they no longer wear.

It’s not uncommon for someone to inherit a coat or simply find that their lifestyle has changed and the garment stays in the closet season after season.

At that point many people start asking practical questions like who buys fur coats or where they might be able to sell a fur coat safely.

There are still buyers who specialize in vintage fur garments, particularly coats made from mink, fox, sable, and other luxury furs. Depending on the style and condition, some coats can retain value even years after they were originally purchased.

Many women eventually type a simple question into Google: who buys fur coats near me? The answer today is a little different than it was years ago. While some cities still have local furriers, many reputable fur buyers now work nationwide. Instead of bringing a coat into a store, sellers often begin by sending photographs so the buyer can evaluate the style, condition, and type of fur. If the coat has resale value, the buyer can explain the next steps and arrange safe shipping. This approach has made it much easier for people across the country to sell a fur coat or learn whether a vintage mink coat or fox coat still has value, without needing to find a local shop.

For women who have coats they no longer wear, learning about the options available can sometimes be worthwhile. Even if the coat ultimately stays in the family, understanding its value and how to care for it properly helps preserve the garment for years to come.

A Timeless Piece Worth Protecting

Fur coats have remained part of winter wardrobes for generations because they combine warmth, craftsmanship, and beauty in a way few garments can match.

With the right care, a quality fur coat can last for decades and sometimes even become an heirloom passed down through families.

By avoiding a few common storage mistakes – sealing fur in plastic, exposing it to strong odors, or storing it in environments that are too dry – you can help protect the softness and elegance that made you fall in love with the coat in the first place.

A little attention once a year goes a long way toward preserving a garment that may continue to be enjoyed for many winters to come.

If treated thoughtfully, a beautiful fur coat can remain part of a woman’s wardrobe for many decades, carrying both warmth and memories through many winters.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you know how to store your fur coat? Do you perform yearly maintenance?

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The Rhythm of Life Changes: Whether We Like It or Not or We Are Ready or Not

The Rhythm of Life Changes Whether We Like It or Not or We Are Ready or Not

The other morning, I was sitting in a bath at 11 o’clock on a weekday, coffee already cold on the edge of the tub, and I had a very strange thought. I should be somewhere. For most of my life, I always was. Wake up early. Drink the coffee quickly. Show up to the meeting. Keep the calendar full. Produce something. Fix something. Improve something. Solve something. If there was a problem, push harder. If something broke, work longer. If life felt uncertain, tighten the routine.

That rhythm carried me for decades. It built careers, organizations, relationships, and a reputation for being the person who could figure things out. It carried me through motherhood, the kind where you are packing lunches at 6 a.m., answering work calls at 8, and pretending you are not exhausted at 3pm drinking copious amounts of coffee, because there is no option not to show up.

Somewhere along the way, the rhythm shifted.

Not dramatically. Not all at once. It slipped in quietly, the way aging tends to do. One small adjustment at a time. Maybe like a dimmer switch. Or the frog that does not realize the pot is getting hotter until it is already too late.

And when I noticed, I fought it like it was the only thing that mattered.

Fighting the Current

I used to think success meant staying the course no matter what.

Push through fatigue and doubt.

Push through discomfort and pain.

Push through anything, anyone, and anything in my way.

But life has a way of eventually confronting us with a reality we cannot outwork. I couldn’t figure out what was not sitting right and a wise friend told me to read David Brooks’ book The Second Mountain.

In The Second Mountain, Brooks describes this shift, the moment when life stops being about proving ourselves and starts becoming about understanding ourselves. The first mountain is achievement. Status. Momentum. The second mountain asks a much harder question:

Now that you have climbed, who are you?

What nobody tells you is that the transition between those mountains can feel like losing your footing. The habits that once defined you stop fitting quite right. The pace changes. The motivation shifts. What once energized you starts to feel oddly exhausting. You start to notice that the systems you built your life around were designed for a version of you that no longer exists. The urgency that once fueled you now feels like noise. The structure that once held you up now feels like something you are pushing against.

I looked at my life, the one I worked so hard to build, and on paper it looked full. There was a lot to be grateful for. And I was. But I also knew something I could not ignore. I was not exactly who I wanted to be, and I was not fully where I wanted to be. Not in some dramatic, everything is wrong, way. In a quieter way. In the way where I was still saying yes to things I no longer believed in. Still showing up in roles that fit who I used to be. Still moving at a pace that no longer felt like mine.

I remember sitting in a meeting, saying all the right things, solving all the right problems, and having the very uncomfortable realization that I could do it well and not want to be doing it at all. That was new. And hard to admit. At first, I assumed something was wrong. Eventually, I realized something had simply changed. I could not quite name it, but everything felt different.

When I traveled to Alaska not long ago, I watched salmon making their final run upstream. I could have watched all day. The water was loud, relentless, unapologetic. The fish were darker than I expected, almost bruised looking, their bodies already changing. People stood quietly along the edge, watching something that felt both ordinary and profound at the same time.

The metaphors were right in front of my face. No escaping the truths I had been avoiding. Or maybe I was finally ready to listen. They only do this once, at the end of their lives, to spawn. They return to where they were born, traveling hundreds of miles upstream. They stop eating. Their bodies begin to deteriorate as they go. Everything they have is used for one final push forward.

Locals sometimes call them zombie fish. Not fully alive in the way we think of living but still moving forward. And standing there, I had an extremely uncomfortable thought. How much of my life had I been pushing that hard when I did not actually need to?

I was exhausted just watching them.

Experience, the Hard Way

Mark Twain once joked that experience comes in three forms: experience, damn experience, and more experience. By this stage of life, most of us have collected all three. Some of it came from success. A lot of it came from mistakes.

There is a moment in life when you realize you have built a considerable amount of wisdom from doing things wrong.

The wrong relationships.

The wrong assumptions.

The wrong battles.

The wrong priorities.

The wrong wardrobe.

And paradoxically, that realization does not weaken you. It strengthens you. Once you see clearly what does not work for you, your life begins to simplify. You stop forcing things that never fit in the first place.

It even shows up in your space. The closet where you keep reaching over five things to get to the one thing you wear. The kitchen cabinet filled with half-used boxes of food you thought you would become the kind of person who eats. Makeup bought for a version of you that never showed up. Socks still in the package. At some point you realize you are not organizing your life, you are negotiating with it.

And eventually, you stop negotiating.

The Hard Lesson of Letting Go

This is the most common battle cry of self-help gurus, therapists, and Disney characters, and yet it is the hardest thing to actually do. There is a quiet wisdom that comes later in life, the ability to recognize when something simply is not meant for you anymore.

There is a saying I have grown fond of:

What was meant for me will never miss me. What misses me was never meant for me.

This idea used to irritate me. It sounded passive. Too accepting. Now I see it differently.

Acceptance is not giving up.

Acceptance is clarity.

Back to those salmon, swimming upstream. They fight with everything they have left. The current is brutal. The rocks unforgiving. The journey relentless. It is the battle of their lives. Watching them, I realized something I wish I had understood earlier. Not everything deserves that level of effort. Human life is not meant to be one endless upstream battle, although sometimes it certainly does feel that way. Some fights matter. Others are simply the wrong river.

The New Rhythm of a Day

One of the strangest changes in my life has been my relationship with time. For decades my days were dictated by external expectations.

Meetings.

Deadlines.

Decisions.

People waiting for answers.

People waiting for solutions.

The structure was constant. Now my days sometimes look very different. Some nights I do not sleep well. Instead of forcing myself into a rigid morning routine, I let the day unfold more gently. Some mornings my first coffee happens at eleven. Sometimes I am sitting in a bath on a weekday morning and a small voice in my head whispers, You should be somewhere.

Then I remember. No, I should not. I climbed my first mountain. I have earned the right to a weekday morning bath. For the first time in my life, I do not live inside have to. I live inside what do I need today.

And that small shift has changed everything.

The Reality of the Body

Of all the adjustments that come with age, the most humbling is the body. I have fought my weight my entire life. That battle alone could fill a book. But aging introduces a new equation.

It is not just about weight anymore. It is about energy, recovery, stiffness, balance, and the slow accumulation of years lived fully, sometimes too fully.

Every high heel worn longer than it should have been.

Every moment I pushed through exhaustion because the job needed finishing.

Every time I ignored what my body was trying to tell me.

The bill eventually arrives. And it comes due whether you are ready or not. It is frustrating. It makes me sad. And yet I still go to the gym. I still brush my teeth. I still move my body.

Now I understand something I did not before. Maintenance is the work. I no longer expect my body to perform like it did at 30. I also know there are things I will never do the same way again. I am probably not running out at all hours of the night in high heels and pretending my body will forgive me the next day. That version of me had confidence. She also had denial.

But I can still show up.

I can hold the pose as long as I can hold it.

I can lift lighter weights.

I can honor my shoulder that does not want to move some days.

And I have learned something I did not understand before: If I do not move it, I lose it.

So the new goal is not perfection.

The new goal is partnership, my mind, body, and spirit working together to carry me through the flow of my day.

A New Reality

The biggest realization I have had in recent years is surprisingly simple. Life does not return to the way it once was.

Not after enough experience.

Not after loss.

Not after growth.

There is a new reality whether we are ready for it or not. We can fight it. Ignore it. Try to resist it. Many people do. They spend years trying to recreate the life they once had. Eventually most of us discover something profound. We are seeing the world differently because we are different.

Experience changes us.

Mistakes change us.

Time changes us.

And if we allow it, wisdom changes us too.

Acceptance

For years acceptance sounded like surrender to me. Now it feels like freedom.

When I stop fighting the rhythm of where I am in life, my days become easier. I move with more patience. I extend more kindness to others and to myself.

I stop measuring my life against outdated expectations. And something else happens.

Joy shows up in quieter places.

In a long morning coffee.

In a slower walk.

In the relief of letting go of something that was never truly mine to carry.

The rhythm of life has not disappeared. It has simply changed its tempo.

What’s Next

Learning to move with that rhythm instead of against it may be the greatest wisdom we earn along the way. Stop fighting it long enough to recognize it. Go with the flow.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What changes have you gone through in the past decade? What have you had to accept about yourself?

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