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Originally posted at: Tracy Tutor’s White Asymmetric Top and Jumpsuit

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If you keep “fighting yourself” around food and exercise, it’s usually not a willpower problem – it’s competing motivations in your brain, and the one with the strongest feeling wins in the moment.

TL;DR (Read This If You’re Standing in the Kitchen)

• You’re not broken. Your brain is doing what brains do: conserve energy and chase comfort.
• The problem isn’t that you don’t know what to do – it’s that you have two (or more) believable thoughts at the same time.
• When you learn to spot the “competing models,” you stop shaming yourself and start making choices that actually stick.
• You don’t need a stricter plan. You need small, repeatable follow-through skills.

If you want a quick “why am I not doing what I know?” check, download my updated 8 Habits That Healthy People Do (and why they don’t stick) Guide + Checklist at the end of this post.

Why You Can Know Better… And Still Do the Opposite (Midlife Edition)

If you’re a smart woman, this is the part that makes you feel extra irritated:

You know walking helps your mood.

You know sugar messes with your energy.

You know strength training matters after 50.

And yet… somehow you’re eating pretzels out of the bag while telling yourself you’ll “start tomorrow,” like tomorrow is a magical land where no one is tired or overstimulated.

Here’s what I see all the time with midlife women: you’re not inconsistent because you’re lazy.

You’re inconsistent because your brain is running two different stories at once – and one of them feels more urgent in your body.

Not more true.

More urgent.

The Simple Framework That Explains Almost Everything

I use a basic coaching tool that looks like this:

Circumstance → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result

The idea is that events (circumstances) are neither good nor bad, but what gives them meaning is our thoughts about them. Those thoughts that we have about things that happen in the world generate emotions (feelings) in our body, which impact the things that we do, or don’t do (actions). And over time, what we do creates the results that we get.

Here’s an example:

• Circumstance: It’s 6:00 a.m. Your alarm goes off.
• Thought A: “This will feel good later.”
• Feeling: Pride / determination.
• Action: Feet on the floor.
• Result: You move your body.

But also…

• Thought B: “I am too tired for this.”
• Feeling: Heavy / resentful / “leave me alone.”
• Action: Snooze.
• Result: You stay in bed.

Same morning. Same alarm. Different thought. Different feeling. Different outcome.

And here’s the key:

The thought that produces the strongest feeling wins.

If you feel like you’re fighting yourself, it’s not proof you’re weak. It’s proof you have competing thoughts – and the one that carries the strongest emotion will win in that moment.

Competing Models: The Real Reason Willpower Keeps Letting You Down

Most women try to solve this by arguing with themselves.

“Come on. You KNOW better.”

“Just do it.”

“Why can’t you be normal?”

That’s like trying to win a debate with someone who has snacks and a weighted blanket.

Your brain is not impressed by your logic when you’re tired and depleted.

It’s impressed by:

• comfort
• relief
• quiet
• pleasure
• “I just want to be done for the day”

If you’ve ever thought, “Why did I do that?” after eating past comfortable or skipping movement… the answer is usually:

Because there was an upside.

Cookies taste good.

Staying on the couch is easy.

Scrolling turns your brain off for a minute.

That doesn’t make it your best choice. But it does make it understandable.

This is exactly why I revamped my 8 Habits guide – it doesn’t just tell you what to do. It helps you figure out what’s getting in the way so you can stop recycling the same shame.

Most women don’t need more information about health. They need a way to follow through when they’re tired, overstimulated, and done with everyone – because that’s when real life happens.

The “Radical Honesty” Move That Makes Change Easier

Here’s a little rule I live by:

If a behavior didn’t work for you in some way, you wouldn’t keep doing it.

So instead of:

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Try:

“What is this doing for me right now?”

Not as self-therapy. As data.

Because the minute you admit, “This snack is giving me relief,” you stop treating yourself like a malfunctioning appliance and start asking better questions, like:

• “What else would give me relief that doesn’t leave me feeling gross?”
• “Is this hunger… or is this ‘I’m done with everyone’?”
• “Do I need food, or do I need five minutes alone in my room like a teenager?”

Radical honesty is not self-criticism. It’s saying, “This behavior has an upside,” so you can stop making it personal and start making it workable.

A practical checklist: triggers → swaps → simple scripts

Use this like a menu. Pick one.

If you want help pinpointing your biggest “competing models,” the updated 8 Habits guide + checklist is the fastest way to spot your pattern without overthinking it.

Your 3-Step Plan (Micro-Actions for Today / This Week / Next Week)

Step 1: Today (5 Minutes) – Name the Competing Thoughts.

Pick one sticky moment (evening snacking, skipping workouts, sugar at 3 p.m.).

Write two sentences:

• Thought that supports the habit: “I’ll feel better if I…”
• Thought that pulls you off track: “I don’t want to because…”

That’s it. No fixing yet. Just clarity.

Step 2: This Week (10 Minutes Total, Spread Out) – Add One “Pause Point”

Choose ONE place to insert a tiny speed bump:

• before seconds
• before the first bite of a treat
• before you open the pantry at night
• before you decide “I’ll start Monday”

Your pause can be as simple as: hand on chest + one breath.

Step 3: Next Week (15 Minutes) – Pre-Decide Your Easiest Version

Not your best version. Your easiest.

Examples:

• “My workout is putting on shoes and walking to the end of the block.”
• “My dinner is protein + produce, even if it’s rotisserie chicken and bagged salad.”
• “My treat is one satisfying portion, not five ‘healthy’ substitutes that don’t hit.”

This is how habits stick: not through intensity – through repeatability.

You don’t need the perfect plan. You need an “easiest version” you can repeat on normal days – especially the messy ones – so your brain learns, ‘Oh, we do this now.’

Make It Concrete: Turning Vague Advice into Something You Can Actually Use

Abstract: “Be more consistent with exercise.”

Concrete: “After I pour my morning coffee, I walk for 10 minutes – before I check my phone.”

Abstract: “Practice moderation with sweets.”

Concrete: “I put dessert on a plate, sit down, and eat it like it matters – no standing at the counter.”

Abstract: “Manage stress better.”

Concrete: “When I feel that chest-tight ‘I can’t handle one more thing’ feeling, I step outside for 90 seconds and breathe before I reach for food.”

Why it matters: your brain doesn’t follow slogans. It follows clear, specific instructions in real situations.

A pause point doesn’t have to be dramatic. One breath before seconds, one question before snacking, one tiny choice that gives you your agency back.

Download the free guide + checklist

If this post hit a nerve in the best way – and you want to stop doing the “I know what to do… why am I not doing it?” loop – download my updated 8 Habits That Healthy People Do (and why they don’t stick) Guide + Checklist.

It’s not a list of tips you already know. It’s a clarity tool that helps you spot why your follow-through breaks down – and what to do about it next.

Let’s Chat:

When do you reach out for food? Do you eat with intention? Move with intention? Do you create complicated rituals or do you try easy habits that could actually stick?

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There is a quiet freedom that comes with this season of life. We trust our inner wisdom more deeply. We listen to our bodies more closely. And we begin choosing what truly nourishes us.

Intermittent fasting (IF) can be a beautiful ally in that listening.

I love it.

It travels well. It simplifies life. I never feel restricted. It sharpens my focus and memory, helps keep my body trim, and if I drift off routine while exploring Italy, Bali, or Vietnam I simply step back in with ease. No guilt. No drama. Just rhythm.

But after 60, our physiology changes – and our fasting approach must evolve with wisdom and self-respect.

This is not about pushing harder.

It is about working with your body.

Why Fasting Needs to Change After 60

Women over 60 experience natural metabolic shifts that influence strength, energy, and resilience.

Muscle Loss Accelerates (Sarcopenia)

Long fasting windows without adequate nourishment can accelerate lean muscle loss, affecting metabolism and independence.

Protein Needs Increase

Older women require more protein per meal to maintain muscle. Very short eating windows can make this difficult.

Extended Fasting May Increase Muscle Breakdown

Without sufficient protein intake, the body may use muscle tissue for energy.

Greater Sensitivity to Stress and Cortisol

Aggressive fasting can elevate stress hormones, contributing to fatigue, sleep disruption, and abdominal fat storage.

Bone Density Concerns

Prolonged calorie restriction may negatively affect bone health.

Blunted Appetite and Undernourishment

Reduced appetite combined with fasting may lead to insufficient caloric and nutrient intake.

Slower Recovery from Metabolic Stress

Gentler fasting approaches support better recovery.

Blood Sugar Variability

Hormonal shifts can lead to dips in energy, cravings, and mood changes.

The Sweet Spot: A Gentle Fasting Rhythm

Most women over 60 thrive with:

A 12–14 Hour Overnight Fast

Supports metabolic health without excessive stress.

A Consistent Eating Rhythm

Regular nourishment stabilizes hormones and energy.

Protein-Rich Meals

Aim for approximately 25–30 grams of protein per meal to support muscle and metabolism.

Pair Fasting with Strength Training

Muscle is a longevity organ.

Strength training:

• protects bone density
• stabilizes blood sugar
• supports metabolic health
• improves balance and independence
• enhances fat metabolism

Even light resistance training two to three times weekly can produce meaningful benefits.

Why Women Over 60 Love Intermittent Fasting

When practiced wisely, intermittent fasting can feel freeing rather than restrictive.

Women often notice:

• improved mental clarity and focus
• steady energy without crashes
• less bloating and improved digestion
• reduced inflammation
• improved metabolic flexibility
• easier weight maintenance
• simplicity around food
• renewed trust in their body’s rhythm.

A Traveler’s Secret Advantage

Whether navigating airports or enjoying late dinners in charming European villages, fasting offers flexibility and ease.

You eat when it nourishes.

You pause when it doesn’t.

And you return to rhythm effortlessly.

Signs Your Fasting Window May Be Too Long

Listen to your body if you notice:

• persistent fatigue
• sleep disturbances
• muscle weakness
• feeling unusually cold
• irritability or anxiety
• intense cravings

These signals often indicate the need for a gentler approach.

The Wisdom Approach to Fasting After 60

Rather than rigid rules, think in terms of:

• nourishment first
• strength preservation
• nervous system calm
• metabolic flexibility
• sustainable rhythm

This is fasting rooted in self-respect – not deprivation.

Final Thoughts

At this stage of life, we are not trying to punish the body into submission or guilt.

We are partnering with it.

When practiced gently and wisely, intermittent fasting can support clarity, vitality, metabolic health, and a lightness of being that makes daily life and travel feel easier.

Your body is not declining.

It is refining.

If you would like additional guidance, you can download my free guide, “21 Tips and Tricks for Successful Intermittent Fasting Over 60,” designed to help you create a fasting rhythm that supports strength, nourishment, and vibrant health.

And if questions arise, I warmly welcome them. Supporting women in creating sustainable, energized wellness is my life’s work.

References:

Anton SD et al. Obesity, 2019.

Longo VD & Panda S. Cell Metabolism, 2016.

Mattson MP et al. Ageing Research Reviews, 2017.

Bauer J et al. Journal of the American Medical Directors Association, 2013.

Wolfe RR. British Journal of Nutrition, 2012.

Villareal DT et al. New England Journal of Medicine, 2011.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What kind of intermittent fasting have you tried? How has it worked for you? How did you decide what interval works best for you?

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There is something almost defiant about weaving a basket in a world addicted to plastic.

Some call it a “lost art,” as if it vanished quietly into the attic with butter churns and hand-sewn quilts. But basket weaving never disappeared. It simply slipped out of the spotlight. All across the country, in church basements, art centers, living rooms, guild halls, and convention spaces, hands are still soaking reed and weaving beauty from the earth.

About 10 years ago, my sister and I were on a craft quest. We took classes in chain maille, polymer clay, resin jewelry, silver clay and probably a few others I can’t recall. The one that captivated us was basket weaving, as we took a beginners class at a magical place in a Chicago southwest suburb called The Center. It was the beginning of a wonderful journey. Here in Illinois, most of us belong to the Land of Lincoln Basket Weavers Association, where you can learn about events in this area.

Baskets Existed Way Back When

Basketry is one of the oldest human crafts. Long before pottery, before metalwork, before written language, there were baskets. Archaeologists have uncovered woven fragments dating back thousands of years – some as old as 10,000 years.

Baskets were not decorative indulgences. They were survival.

They were used when gathering food.

They stored grain.

They carried babies.

They trapped fish.

They winnowed seeds.

They held daily life together.

Before shelves and cabinets and shipping containers, there were baskets.

Today, basket weaving is alive in quiet but vibrant communities. There are regional guilds that meet monthly to share techniques and swap materials. There are national conventions where weavers attend workshops, study traditional forms, and learn from master artisans.

Each Basket Tells a Story

When I sit down to weave, I become aware of time in a different way. There is no rushing the process. The reed must be soaked just long enough to become pliable but not mushy. Stakes must be evenly spaced. Tension must remain consistent. If I force it, the material rebels. If I neglect it, the structure weakens.

Weaving is partnership. For us, it has become a fellowship of sweet women who share a passion for the craft and for life! We gather together to touch base and weave, and the more skilled are available to guide and teach the less skilled. I fall in the latter category!

Unlike plastic bins, baskets feel alive.

And then there is the beauty.

The curve of a handle.

The rhythm of an over-under weave.

The geometric dance of color when dyed reed is introduced.

Light moves differently across woven surfaces. Shadows gather in the spaces between stakes. Texture invites touch.

The Work of Human Hands

In an age of mass production, a handmade basket carries the imprint of the maker’s hands. Slight variations are not flaws; they are signatures. The bottom may tilt ever so slightly. One row may tighten more than the last. These differences whisper: A human made this.

It is not solely nostalgia that keeps this craft alive.

It is need.

We crave slow work in a fast world.

We crave tactile connection in a digital age.

We crave objects that last longer than a season.

Basket Weaving Answers That Craving

There is something profoundly grounding about transforming reeds into a vessel capable of holding weight. It reminds us that usefulness and beauty do not have to compete. They can coexist. They always have.

Far from being lost, basket weaving endures because it satisfies something ancient in us. The same impulse that moved our ancestors to gather grasses and twist fibers still stirs in modern hands.

We still want to make something that can carry.

Food.

Clothing.

Tools.

Stories.

Memory.

A basket is humble. It does not demand attention. But it is foundational. It supports daily life quietly, faithfully, beautifully.

And perhaps that is why it continues to endure.

Not as a relic.

But as a living, breathing art form – woven, one strand at a time. Sound interesting?

To begin exploring this art, a good place to start is The National Basketry Organization.

Below are some baskets made by me, my sister, and a couple of friends.

Baskets woven by Christine Moriarty Field:

Baskets woven by Eleanor Champagne (my sister):

Baskets woven by Terry Sanders:

Baskets woven by Jane Dwyer:

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you tried basket weaving? What other hobby/craft have you tried that seems old and forgotten?

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I live about 30 miles north of New York City, within an hour and a half drive of three major US airports: Newark, LaGuardia and JFK. When I’m searching for trips on Google Flights, I get dozens of options at a variety of prices on multiple airlines.

Life is good.

But, recently, I’ve started flying in and out of Westchester County Airport, a small, regional facility with commercial airline service to many non-stop destinations and connections through US hub cities.

My friends think I’m nuts. But it’s one of the smartest travel moves I’ve made. Here’s why.

Advantages of Flying from a Regional Airport

By choosing a regional airport instead of a large, multi-terminal international airport, I’ve discovered several pros, including the ability to arrive about an hour before flight time when I’m traveling with just a carry-on.

Although I have TSA PreCheck, I never need it at my regional airport because the security line is nonexistent.

There’s no long shuttle ride from a distant parking lot. The terminal is steps from short-term parking. And the daily parking rate is cheaper than what I’d pay at a large airport.

Weekend trips that would be a hassle if traveling to and from Newark, JFK or LaGuardia are easy peasy when booked at my local airport.

Access to Cheaper Fares

Years ago, fares were much higher at my local regional airport. In the past few years, fares have become competitive with larger airports because operating expenses are lower.

And budget carriers like Breeze that fly in and out of smaller airports offer dramatically lower fares than the major airlines.

Disadvantages of Flying from a Regional Airport

The convenience of booking flights at my regional airport comes with some disadvantages.

Not Many Flights to Choose from

Flight options are fewer, so I have to be more flexible about my arrival and departure times.

Connecting Flights

Nonstop service to my destination is often not available, and I need to connect in a hub city, like Chicago or Charlotte. This extends my travel time.

Don’t Expect Restaurants and Shops At A regional Airport

Westchester County Airport has a small restaurant; it’s never open when I’m flying. And there are two tiny grab-and-go markets for essentials like morning coffee.

Be Prepared for Drama in the Event of a Delay or Cancellation at a Regional Airport

Several years ago, my JetBlue flight to Puerto Rico was canceled at the last minute. After waiting and wondering, the airline put passengers in limos to LaGuardia to catch a later flight. It was a hassle but also an adventure.

The One Big Drawback to Regional Airports

If you fly internationally, your local regional airport may not be an option for you. Although some offer international flights, primarily to Canada, Mexico and the Caribbean, most don’t.

You can book a connecting flight through a hub city to travel internationally. I haven’t done it because I prefer to travel on nonstop flights when going abroad to minimize possible flight delays or cancellations.

Do the Pros of a Regional Airport Outweigh the Cons?

I always include my regional airport in my Google Flight searches. When the fare is competitive and the travel time works for my trip, I choose the regional airport option.

Because it’s close to my suburban home, I never have to deal with traffic. I sweep in for my departure without long security lines. And, on the few occasions when I check a bag, there’s no wait because there’s only one carousel. I don’t know how they manage the arrivals, but I’ve never waited longer than 15 minutes for my luggage.

Why It’s Worth It

Air travel is inherently stressful because so many variables you can’t control impact your experience. By choosing to fly out of a regional airport, I minimize my stress and that’s priceless.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which regional airports have you used? What was your experience? Would you recommend or not?

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Dating over 60 is brave.

Tender.

Hopeful.

And yet – sometimes the hardest part isn’t the men.

It’s the people sitting across from you at lunch, clutching their wine glasses, nodding sympathetically while inadvertently dragging your love life into the gutter.

We’re going there.

If you’re dating over 60, or even considering it, your friends – and your kids – are absolutely influencing how you feel, how you choose, and how long you stay stuck.

Sometimes in supportive ways. Sometimes… not so much.

When Women Undermine Other Women (Without Meaning To)

I call it misery poker.

You know the game.

You share something hopeful:

“He seems kind, consistent, like a good guy.”

And instead of curiosity or encouragement, someone raises you:

• “Well, my friend dated a guy like that, and he turned out to be emotionally unavailable.”
• “Men our age don’t really change.”
• “Just don’t get your hopes up.”

Suddenly, the table is full of cautionary tales. Everyone’s ante-ing up with disappointment. And optimism is the first thing to fold.

I have no doubt your friends love you. They’re not trying to sabotage you. They’re just letting off their own steam, trying to process their own pain, and recruiting you into emotional solidarity.

If you succeed, what does it say about them? Misery loves company is a cliche for a reason.

But when women repeatedly undermine other women’s hope, it creates a quiet agreement:

“Let’s not want too much.”

And that agreement will cost you at just the time of life that ALL your focus should be on what YOU want (finally).

The Danger of Outsourcing Your Dating Intuition

When you’re dating over 60, it can feel comforting to run everything by your girlfriends.

It’s even fun to send pics of a text thread and go through the play-by-play with your nearest and dearest in an attempt to understand what your potential suitors might be thinking.

But here’s the coaching truth:

Your friends can’t (and shouldn’t) make YOUR decisions. Your friends are not in your body.

They don’t feel your nervous system. They don’t experience your chemistry. They don’t know which compromises feel workable to you.

This is the time of your life when you should be honing your own intuition about your 3H needs vs outsourcing it to anyone who might be more comfortable if you stay single.

Take a moment to consider where your friends might be coming from when they fill your head with horror stories, warnings, and general negativity about men or dating, and then decide if you want to “go down” with them.

If you decide to stay on “Team Hope” you have two choices: get your friends on board with a clear request or hang out with different people. (This is why I have group coaching with Master the Art of Love.)

In group coaching, women learn how to:

• Support each other without projecting
• Speak honestly without undermining hope
• Normalize fears without amplifying them
• Celebrate wins without jealousy
• Call each other forward – to honor our ideals

And Then There Are Your Kids…

Ah yes. The adult children. Hopefully, yours are loving and well-meaning, but it doesn’t make things less complex when new love comes on the scene.

When you start dating over 60, your kids may react in surprising ways.

Some feel competitive:

“I’ve been your main emotional support. Where do I fit now?”

Some feel possessive:

“I don’t want to share you.”

Some feel wary:

“I don’t want you hurt again.”

“What if HE spends my inheritance?”

And some feel uncomfortable with the idea that you’re still a sexual, desiring woman.

(That one doesn’t get said out loud, but it’s there.)

So they ask pointed questions. They raise eyebrows. They offer “concern.” And suddenly, you’re managing their feelings instead of honoring your own.

I think the thing children need most, even adult children, is to see you happy. Subconsciously, it teaches them that happiness, into old age, is possible for them too. So they may try to convince you (and themselves) they’d be happier for you to avoid risk, but the truth is, everyone would be happier if you found a partner and healthy love.

Your kids don’t need to approve of your dating life, but it sure would be nice to have their support. And since you can’t choose new kids, this challenge requires a frank conversation about your vision for your future and how love and your relationship with them fit into it.

Modeling self-determination and joy as you age is not selfish; it’s probably the greatest gift you can give them.

Women Can Be Powerful Allies in Love

From my experience coaching groups of women together, they can also be extraordinary forces for good in dating.

The right girlfriends:

• Celebrate your courage
• Ask thoughtful questions instead of planting doubt
• Help you slow down so you can assess your 3H criteria soberly.
• Care about your safety and your happiness

Healthy female support sounds like:

• “How do you feel with him?”
• “What are you learning about yourself?”
• “Does this align with what you said you wanted?”

Not:

• “Men are terrible.”
• “You’re probably settling.”
• “Don’t get excited.”

The difference may seem subtle, but it’s profound.

Dating over 60 already can feel a bit lonely as you search for the right places to find eligible people with your interests, or dare to go into the uncharted territory of online dating.

So if you want to feel less alone and more grounded and have more fun, you will pay attention to surrounding yourself with hopeful, positive voices. Veer towards those who make you feel more excited to date and away from those who build your fears. It’s simple to figure out…

A Question to Ask Yourself

Before you share your dating life, ask yourself:

“Is this person invested in my growth or in keeping me company in disappointment?”

And before you take advice, ask:

“Does this expand me or shrink me?” Do you admire how this person approaches love and/or dating?

You can control what you share with whom and who you let whisper in your ear.

Here’s me whispering: love has no expiration date. Now is the best possible time for you to muster up all your courage and hope and go for it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Can you count on your girlfriends to support your dating life? Have you experienced a situation where adult children or girlfriends ruined a possible relationship?

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