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Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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Charley Manley’s Ribbed V Neck and White Skort

Charley Manley’s Ribbed V Neck and White Skort / Southern Charm Season 11 Episode 10 Fashion

I feel like the last few summers the “clubhouse look” has been trendy. Meaning knit polos, pleated skirts, and skorts that give chic golf/tennis/pickleball sort of vibes. And that’s just what Charley Manley’s outfit at Craig Conover’s house gives! Though it’s a look that’s great just in general which is why you should be glad we here at BBH have mastered the art of finding ‘fits. 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Charley Manley's Ribbed V Neck and White Skort

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Skin Care

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How to Make Your Own Essential Oil Blend for Mature Skin (Recipe)

A Basic Essential Oil Blend for Everyday Mature Skin Care

With all the wonderful natural facial serums on the market today, it can be a little overwhelming choosing the correct formula with safe, non-toxic ingredients, all at a reasonable price. The good news is that it’s easy and fun to make a quality product on your own using the miracle of nature – essential oils. 

When I started working with skincare formulas in 2003, one of the first products I was excited about making was an essential oil-based facial serum. My skin needs were changing, and a moisturizing oil made perfect sense for dry, maturing skin.

I decided to work with four wonderful healthy aging essential oils I had discovered: Lavender, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, and Carrot Seed.

The natural and highly effective nature of essential oils makes them perfect for skincare. When blended for their various properties and used with a carrier oil that matches your skin type, you can create a serum tailor-made for your skin.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are the essence of plants. Hidden away in many parts of the plant, like the flowers, seeds, and roots, they are very potent chemical compounds. They can give the plant its scent, protect it from harsh conditions, and help with pollination.

The benefits of essential oils on humans are diverse and amazing. Lavender flower oil, for example, contains compounds that help soothe skin irritation and redness, while the scent reduces feelings of anxiety and stress.

The beautiful Rose essential oil is hydrating to the skin and sometimes used to treat scarring, while the scent is known to help lift depression. 

There are many essential oils to choose from for specific skincare needs. I have used a myriad of different combinations but keep coming back to the tried and true blend from my very first serum.

The four essential oils used are the workhorses of skincare for mature skin, as well as being wonderfully uplifting for mind, body, and spirit. 

The Base Oil Blend Formula

Here’s what you’ll need:

Bottle

1 oz. amber dropper bottle. You can find those in pharmacies or online.

Base (Carrier) Oil

As a base, you can use one of the oils below or a combination of several that meet your skin’s needs:

  • Jojoba oil is my base oil of choice. It’s incredible for most skin types: it’s extremely gentle and non-irritating for sensitive skin, moisturizing for dry skin, balancing for oily skin, ideal for combination skin, and offers a barrier of protection from environmental stressors. It also helps skin glow as it delivers deep hydration.
  • Rosehip oil smooths the skin’s texture and calms redness and irritation.
  • Argan oil contains high levels of vitamin E and absorbs thoroughly into the skin leaving little oily residue.
  • Avocado oil is effective at treating age spots and sun damage, as well as helping to soothe inflammatory conditions such as blemishes and eczema.
  • Olive oil is a heavier oil and the perfect choice if your skin needs a mega-dose of hydration. Just be aware that olive oil takes longer to absorb and leaves the skin with an oily feeling. This may be desirable for extremely dry, red, itchy skin.

Essential Oils

  • Lavender essential oil is very versatile and healing. It helps reduce inflammation, kill bacteria, and clear pores. Its scent is also calming and soothing.
  • Frankincense essential oil helps to tone and strengthen mature skin in addition to fighting bacteria and balancing oil production.
  • Rose Geranium essential oil helps tighten the skin by reducing the appearance of fine lines, helps reduce inflammation and fight redness, and offers anti-bacterial benefits to help fight the occasional breakout. The scent is also known to be soothing and balancing.
  • Carrot seed oil is a fantastic essential oil for combination skin. It helps even the skin tone while reducing inflammation and increasing water retention.

The Recipe

Let’s start with a simple recipe:

  • 1 oz. Jojoba oil (or carrier oil of your choice)
  • 10 drops Lavender
  • 10 drops Frankincense
  • 10 drops Rose Geranium
  • 10 drops Carrot seed oil 

Place the essential oil drops in the amber dropper bottle then fill with Jojoba/carrier oil. It’s that simple!

Applying Your Homemade Serum

Use this serum morning and evening as part of your regular skincare routine. Serums work best when applied after cleansing your face. You can cleanse with Coconut Oil or a mixture of oils for enhanced hydration (we will cover this in the next article) or use your regular facial cleanser.

Essential oils will not interfere in any way with your normal skincare products.

Keep in mind that the serum is concentrated. Use only a pea-sized amount, work it into your fingertips, and apply evenly over the face without tugging or pulling.

If your skin feels tacky, reduce the amount on the next application. Your skin should feel soft, not oily. Follow with your regular moisturizer if you like. 

Making your own facial serum is fun and rewarding! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas on essential oils and making personalized serums and skincare.

What facial serum do you use? Have you made one yourself? What is your favorite essential oil for skin care? Please share your thoughts with our community!

Charley Manley’s Ribbed V Neck and White Skort

Charley Manley’s Ribbed V Neck and White Skort / Southern Charm Season 11 Episode 10 Fashion

I feel like the last few summers the “clubhouse look” has been trendy. Meaning knit polos, pleated skirts, and skorts that give chic golf/tennis/pickleball sort of vibes. And that’s just what Charley Manley’s outfit at Craig Conover’s house gives! Though it’s a look that’s great just in general which is why you should be glad we here at BBH have mastered the art of finding ‘fits. 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Charley Manley's Ribbed V Neck and White Skort

Click Here to Shop Identical Sunglasses For Less on Amazon


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Originally posted at: Charley Manley’s Ribbed V Neck and White Skort

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Salley Carson’s Green Striped Strapless Top and Pants

Salley Carson’s Green Striped Strapless Top and Pants / Southern Charm Season 11 Episode 10 Fashion

Okay absolutely obsessed with this green striped strapless top and pants that Salley Carson wears on Southern Charm tonight! I love when a lounge look looks chic like this one does. And since we found it fully stocked and under $100 means you should feel Free to go and shop it.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Salley Carson's Green Striped Strapless Top and Pants

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How to Find an Honest Real Estate Agent (Whether Buying or Selling)

How to Find an Honest Real Estate Agent (Whether Buying or Selling)

Let’s face it. Real estate agents get a bad rap. But there are some very good ones out there helping buyers and sellers every day, and doing a great job of it. It’s like any other profession. You have to find them.

So how do you find an honest real estate agent to buy or sell your home? Good question!

Look Online

One of the first places to start your search is online. Everyone is online today looking at listings, getting beeped by search engines, asking AI, and reading ads, news, whatever.

It’s only natural to look online for a real estate agent, as well.

Look, but be smart about it. A lot of people say a lot of things, but that doesn’t always make it so. Check your facts.

If you do a search for pet-friendly homes and someone claims to be a pet-friendly realtor are they really, or are they just posting listings? If you’re a golfer and someone claims to be a realtor who specializes in golf communities, does he walk the walk and talk the talk? Buyer beware!

Get a Recommendation

Everyone has a cousin or friend who is a real estate agent. Trust me, I hear it all the time.

The fact is most agents in Florida do not work at real estate full time. They are part-time realtors and, as such, are not in the trenches every day. They may or may not be able to help you. They may not be able to help if a problem arises or even know how to write a contract.

You need a REALTOR® who knows the market and knows it well – not only the market but the local market you’re looking to buy or sell in.

I stress local here. I can’t tell you how many times I see agents take listings and buyers from three or more hours away. It doesn’t help the buyer or the seller for several reasons.

First, if the agent is not local, they are often not familiar with the local market. If they are not from the local area, how would they know if houses sell for more or less in certain subdivisions within a neighborhood? They wouldn’t! I can tell stories of agents from out of the area that cost their sellers tens of thousands of dollars! And if I was a buyer, how can an out-of the-area agent know the ins and outs of different subdivisions?

As a buyer or seller, this doesn’t benefit you in any way. It’s a negative.

It’s a negative even if they promise they will save you a few bucks, like a buyer calling the name on the sign.

Buying a home is probably the most expensive purchase you’ll make in your lifetime. This is not the time to be penny wise and dollar foolish, as they say.

Not All REALTORS® Are Created Equal

Not all REALTORS® are created equal. Many people do not know that. All real estate agents are licensed to sell real estate, but not all real estate agents are REALTORS®.

To be a REALTOR®, you must belong to the National Association of REALTORS® and subscribe to the Code of Ethics. There are 17 Articles within the Code of Ethics that include Duties to Clients and Customers, Duties to the Public and Duties to REALTORS®.

As a REALTOR® you promise to adhere to the Code of Ethics. As a real estate agent, you do not have to adhere to anything.

So, to find an honest real estate agent, it would be my suggestion to go with a REALTOR®. Of course, you still have to talk with them but more about that later.

Read Reviews to Find an Honest Real Estate Agent

After you find someone who looks like they might be a good fit for you, read their online reviews. Reviews are posted everywhere – Google, Facebook, their websites and more. And while we’re talking websites, that brings me to my next point.

You want someone with a heavy online presence today. Why? Because the days of reading newspapers are almost gone. By the time you pick up a real estate magazine, those ads are weeks old. The houses have been on the MLS and property portals for weeks.

You also want someone with a heavy online presence, because for sellers they can promote your listing more. For buyers, you know they’re up on the times and you can get a good idea about who they are just from reading.

Talk to Realtors

You may get lucky and hit it off with someone on your first call. You never know. You may have a gut feeling that this is right and it probably is.

Be prepared to talk to a few agents. See who you feel most comfortable with. After all, you will be in this together from the beginning to the end and, likely, long after.

You’ll be working as a team.

You need to like and trust this person.

Do you get a sense they’re honest and will work hard for you?

You should because that’s important.

Be on the Same Wavelength

You need to be compatible with your agent. Some people just naturally hit it off, and with others it’s a struggle.

Buying or selling a home is stressful enough. The last thing you want is to work with someone in a relationship that is strained.

Go with your gut.

You can tell if an agent has integrity and is honest, two traits that should be high up on your list.

Is Your Real Estate Agent Accessible

Accessibility is another thing you should be looking for. Is this agent accessible?

We live in a world that is 24/7 these days. You want someone you can reach in the evenings, or on weekends, if you need them. Not someone whose message says they “return calls between 11:00 and 12:00 and 4:00 and 5:00 pm” or, better yet, within “24 hours.”

Or says, “for a quicker response, text me.” Seriously? They’re sitting right there. Pick up the phone! (Is it just me or all women over 60?!)

Real estate agents should be accessible to their clients. Realizing it is a stressful time for buyers and sellers, agents need to be patient and have compassion. Sometimes buyers or sellers just want to talk – something is bothering them. Will this agent be there for you? It may not be that second but someone who returns calls and texts as soon as possible.

Summary of How to Find an Honest Real Estate Agent

While real estate agents have a bad rap, you can still find a REALTOR® with integrity, who is honest, transparent and will work hard for you. Someone who is willing to go to bat for you as either a buyer or seller.

You deserve it. Why settle for less?

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you a woman over 60 looking to buy or sell a home? Are you planning a move in the near future? Do you have any questions that might help make your home purchase easier? Let’s talk about it!

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Are You Ready for Assertiveness Training as a Woman Over 60?

Assertiveness Training for Women over 60

Assertiveness training for women over 60 isn’t about becoming forceful or confrontational. It’s about reclaiming your voice, honoring your needs, and communicating with confidence and kindness. It’s about bringing your “A-game” to medical appointments, family conversation, or other everyday interactions. No matter what activities your life includes, strengthening your assertiveness skills can help you to make this golden chapter more empowered, peaceful, and self-directed.

Introduction to Assertiveness Training for Women over 60

For many women over 60, this stage of life brings a powerful shift: fewer obligations, clearer priorities, and a growing desire to live with authenticity. Yet even with this clarity, speaking up for your needs can still feel uncomfortable. Many of us were raised to be agreeable, accommodating, and “easy to get along with,” which means assertiveness wasn’t encouraged; in fact, it was often discouraged.

This can make it even more difficult to learn how to be assertive when it doesn’t come naturally.

What Assertiveness Really Is, and What It Isn’t

Assertiveness is simply the ability to express your thoughts, needs, and boundaries clearly and respectfully. It sits in the healthy middle ground between passivity (staying silent, avoiding conflict, or putting yourself last) and aggression (pushing, demanding, or overpowering others).

Many women over 60 discover that they’ve spent decades in patterns shaped by caregiving, cultural expectations, or trauma, patterns that made self‑advocacy feel risky or “selfish.”

But assertiveness is not a personality trait you either have or don’t have; it’s a learnable communication skill. With practice, anyone can strengthen their ability to speak up, say no, be assertive, set boundaries, and ask for what they need without guilt.

Why Women Over 60 Often Struggle with Assertiveness (Through No Fault of Their Own)

Being assertive can be challenging as many of us in our 60s and beyond grew up during a time when being a “good girl” meant being polite, quiet, and self‑sacrificing.

These early messages often became lifelong habits: avoiding conflict, prioritizing others’ comfort, and downplaying your own needs.

Add decades of caregiving roles (raising children, supporting partners, managing households, or caring for aging parents) and it’s easy to see how your own voice may have been pushed to the background.

Trauma, chronic stress, or emotionally demanding relationships can also make direct communication feel unsafe.

But the beauty of this stage of life is that we still have the wisdom, perspective, and emotional clarity to rewrite old patterns.

Learning assertiveness skills for women over 60 isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about finally giving yourself permission to be fully you. It’s about learning how to stand up for yourself, stop people-pleasing and honor your own needs the same way you honor the needs of others.

The Benefits of Assertiveness Training Later in Life

One of the most empowering parts of life after 60 is the clarity that comes with experience. You know what matters, what drains you, and what you no longer want to tolerate. Strengthening your assertiveness skills at this stage can transform many everyday interactions, from medical appointments to conversations with adult children, coworkers, or friends.

Many women find that assertiveness training helps reduce resentment, prevent emotional burnout, and create healthier, more balanced relationships.

It also supports better decision‑making in areas like health care, finances, and caregiving, where clear communication is essential.

Most importantly, becoming more assertive later in life reinforces a powerful truth: your needs, preferences, and boundaries are just as important as anyone else’s.

Learning to speak up with confidence and kindness can make this chapter of life more peaceful, grounded, and self-directed.

Common Myths about Assertiveness Training That Hold Women Back

Many women over 60 hesitate to embrace assertiveness because of long‑held myths that simply aren’t true.

One common belief is that “it’s too late to change,” but communication skills are learnable at any age.

Another myth is that being assertive means being rude or aggressive. In reality, assertiveness is about clarity, respect, and emotional honesty.

Some women fear that setting boundaries will create conflict, yet healthy boundaries actually reduce conflict by making expectations clear.

And perhaps the most damaging myth is the idea that your needs matter less than others’. This belief is rooted in decades of social conditioning, not truth.

Challenging these myths is a key part of learning to be assertive as a woman over 60, and it opens the door to more authentic, fulfilling relationships.

Simple, Beginner-Friendly Assertiveness Training Skills You Can Start Using Today

You don’t need a complete personality overhaul to become more assertive. Small, consistent steps can make a meaningful difference.

One of the simplest tools is using “I” statements, which help you express your needs without apology or blame. Practicing phrases like “I’m not available for that” or “I need more time to think” can make setting boundaries feel more natural.

Another helpful skill is learning to say no without over‑explaining; a clear, calm “No, that won’t work for me” is enough.

Paying attention to your body language (steady eye contact, relaxed shoulders, an even tone) can also reinforce your message.

These beginner‑friendly communication skills build confidence over time and make self‑advocacy feel more accessible.

Assertiveness Training: Real-Life Scenarios Women Over 60 Face

As women over 60, we often find ourselves in situations where clear communication and healthy boundaries are essential but challenging.

  • Adult children may assume you’re always available for childcare or emotional support, even when you’re exhausted.
  • Medical appointments can feel rushed, leaving little room to ask questions or express concerns.
  • Friendships may become one‑sided, with you doing most of the listening and very little of the sharing.
  • And volunteer or community roles can quietly expand until they take more time and energy than you intended.

Assertiveness skills help you navigate these moments with clarity and confidence. Saying, “I’m not available today, but I can help on Thursday,” or “I need more information before making a decision,” allows you to stay kind while still honoring your limits.

These small shifts can dramatically improve your relationships and your sense of personal power.

Assertiveness Training: How to Build Your Confidence

If speaking up feels awkward or even scary, that’s natural. Many of us were taught that prioritizing our needs was selfish or impolite.

The discomfort you feel is not a warning. It’s just a sign that you’re practicing a new skill.

Confidence grows through repetition, not perfection. Start with low‑stakes situations: ask for a different table at a restaurant, request clarification from a doctor, or tell a friend you need to reschedule.

Pair these actions with self‑compassion, reminding yourself that learning assertiveness is an act of healing, not confrontation.

Over time, your nervous system adapts, and what once felt intimidating becomes second nature.

Don’t be surprised if this turns to be easier than you expected. Women in our stage of life often learn assertiveness faster than others because we bring wisdom, perspective, and a deep desire for authenticity to the experience.

Your Voice Still Matters: Maybe More Than Ever

Reclaiming your voice after 60 is powerful and possible. Becoming more assertive is about finally giving yourself permission to express your needs, preferences, and boundaries without apology.

When you communicate clearly and kindly, your relationships become more honest, your stress decreases, and your sense of self strengthens.

You’ve spent decades caring for others. This chapter of life is an invitation to care for yourself with the same dedication. Your voice matters. Your needs matter. And learning assertiveness now can make the years ahead more grounded, peaceful, and deeply fulfilling.

Let’s Start a Conversation:

What messages about “being a good woman” did you grow up with, and how have they shaped your communication style? Where in your life do you find it hardest to speak up: family, friendships, medical settings, or somewhere else? What’s one boundary you’ve set recently that made your life easier or more peaceful? If you could become more assertive in one specific area this year, what would it be?

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Along the Arc of Life: What Time Reveals About the Words We Once Wrote

Along the Arc What Time Reveals About the Words We Once Wrote

There are moments when old letters or early writings resurface – sometimes by accident, sometimes deliberately. When that happens, what stands out isn’t the words themselves, but the feelings that rise while reading them. Not the feelings we have now, but the ones that once compelled us to write at all.

Moving Along the Arc

Those feelings mattered. They were real at the time, and they carried weight. They moved us forward, even if we didn’t know where we were going. What we wrote then became part of the arc of our lives, whether we recognized it or not. There is no right or wrong way to feel about those words now – only acknowledgment of the role they played in shaping who we became.

Time has a way of tending to wounds, both in the heart and in the mind. Something written in youth often carries urgency, intensity, and certainty. Years later, the same words can feel quieter, more distant. Not because they were mistaken, but because experience has widened the space around them. The words stay where they were. We move along the arc.

Searching Never Stops

It’s often said that youth is wasted on the young. Perhaps that’s true. But wisdom isn’t diminished by that idea – it depends on it. It takes a lifetime to be able to look back and see the arc clearly, to recognize how even the difficult moments contributed to its shape. With distance, events that once felt random or unfair begin to find their place.

The heart of youth is a searching heart. It reaches outward, looking for meaning, answers, belonging. Time doesn’t harden that impulse. It opens it. What once searched with urgency learns to recognize truth when it appears, even if it arrives quietly. Along the arc of a life, the heart doesn’t close – it clarifies.

Sound Carries Breath, Rhythm, and Emotion

Over the years, I began hearing some of my earlier writing in musical form. What surprised me wasn’t the music itself, but how it changed my relationship to the words. Hearing them sung – rather than read silently on a page – placed them somewhere outside of me. They no longer felt fixed or demanding. They felt located in time.

I also noticed how sound alters the way words are received. Some people who were hesitant to read my writing, worried they might intrude on something private, were willing to listen. Listening created distance rather than closeness. It allowed the words to exist without being examined or questioned. Meaning didn’t need to be negotiated; it arrived.

Sound carries breath, rhythm, and emotion. Written language passes through the mind first, shaped by memory and interpretation. Sound moves differently. It meets the body before the intellect. Each listener hears something different, because each of us stands at a different point along our own arc.

At Our Age, We Have Understanding

There are moments now when I encounter words I once wrote and think, foolish boy. Not with regret, and not with embarrassment – but with understanding. That reaction isn’t judgment. It’s recognition. Education earned through a life lived doesn’t erase earlier versions of ourselves. It gives them context, placing them exactly where they belong.

Along the arc, nothing is wasted – not the certainty, not the confusion, not even the mistakes. They remain behind us, doing the quiet work of shaping who we are still becoming.

If you’re looking for music to reflect on, here’s a compilation:

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What thoughts and emotions are evoked when you read your earlier writings – journals, letters, etc.? Do you look at them with understanding, nostalgia, compassion, or something else?

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The Joy of Eating Early (and Getting Home Before Dark)

The Joy of Eating Early (and Getting Home Before Dark)

I remember the first time I floated a 5 pm dinner to friends. I expected my invite text would prompt an urgent “Is everything okay?” phone call. Or a sarcastic, “Are we so old we need the early bird special?”

Instead, my phone buzzed back almost immediately: “We’d LOVE it!” – capital letters and all. We spent our dinner together discussing the merits of eating dinner in the twilight time between late afternoon and early evening.

From Better Tables to Better Sleep, Early Dining Is the Underrated Pleasure More Women Are Embracing

Once relieved of my shame, I’ve adopted early bird dining with gusto. And I’m not alone. OpenTable, in its 2026 Dining Trends survey, reports that 44% of respondents noted a preference for early dinner as opposed to 25% selecting late dinner. And the survey also noted a 13% increase from last year in respondents choosing to dine between 4:00 and 4:59 pm.

My primary reason for choosing to dine out early is to avoid crowded restaurants. Because dining out is increasingly expensive, I like to make it an “event.” I want to enjoy a leisurely meal with my friends and family and not feel rushed.

Or worse. Like getting wedged into a too-small table next to the kitchen during prime time.

If you’re okay with swimming anonymously in a crowded sea of diners, more power to you.

When we arrive for an early seating, we’re greeted and treated as special guests.

And some of my friends are struggling with night vision problems like light glare and the inability to read signs. Because we live in a self-driving area, Uber isn’t really an option. Spending time with my besties is super important to me, so I’m happy to eat early with them so they’re safely home before the sun sets.

Turns Out, Eating Earlier Isn’t a Compromise – It’s an Upgrade

Another perk to dining early is getting access to specials – and not necessarily those targeted at early birds. Happy hour bar promotions often feature excellent drink specials paired with popular appetizers or small plates. I routinely choose this option when dining before a show or concert. On these nights, I’m all about light bites and a cocktail before the evening’s entertainment.

Getting a table at a popular restaurant is much easier when you’re willing to eat at 5. There are definitely restaurant-goers who want the hot-spot vibe of a crowded dining room. I’m not one of them.

I like to take my time reviewing a menu, asking for recommendations from the server and thoughtfully considering wine options. This is especially important to me when visiting a new restaurant that’s at the top of everyone’s must-dine list. A leisurely meal is a memorable one.

My best advice: if there’s a place you’re dying to try and the 6-9 pm window is always full, look for earlier tables. Better yet, call the restaurant and ask for an early table.

Less Noise, More Connection and a Full Night’s Sleep? Yes, Please!

Another excellent reason to dine earlier is that it’s better for you. Recent research on eating healthy emphasizes lengthening the time between your evening meal and your next day’s breakfast. I still occasionally go to bed on a full stomach after a rich restaurant meal. It’s a guaranteed recipe for an awful night’s sleep. I hate waking up and still feeling full.

A licensed dietitian in a 2025 Real Simple article recommends eating dinner between 5 – 7 pm, or at least three hours before bedtime. This allows the body to properly digest the evening meal. However, it’s worth mentioning that heavier meals may require up to six hours to digest.

Personally, I think there might come a time in my not-too-distant future when I stop pretending that I’m eating a meal called dinner. There’s something wonderful about a long, late afternoon meal with dear friends and more than one bottle of wine (when we’ve got a sober chaperone). It’s neither lunch nor dinner. I’m always on the lookout for a fellow “linner” companion, so hit me up if you’re a kindred spirit.

It turns out the best meals don’t have to be late – just well chosen.

Join the Conversation:

What’s your usual dinner time? How do you feel afterward? Do late dinners affect your sleep? What benefits of early dinner have you noticed in your life?

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