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Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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5 Ways to Upgrade Your Lifestyle with a Visualization Sanctuary

5 Ways to Upgrade Your Lifestyle with a Visualization Sanctuary

One of the most powerful tools for visualizing your dream life is a Visualization Sanctuary. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most neglected and overlooked areas for creating your dream lifestyle after 60.

  • What exactly is a Visualization Sanctuary?
  • Why do you need one?
  • Where and how would you create one for yourself?

We will answer these questions in this third article and video of my new, 12-part exclusive series for Sixty and Me readers titled Visualize a Vibrant New Lifestyle After 60.

But first, I want to share a personal story with you that happened last year.

A Museum of Disappointment

Last summer I was having dinner at a friend’s home, and she asked me how I visualized a new lifestyle for myself in my 70s, after my beloved husband Joe died.

She confided in me that whenever she tried to visualize a goal or even schedule her week in advance, she got distracted by thoughts and experiences of her past.

Sometimes the thoughts were so overwhelming she would try to distract herself by scrolling on Facebook, turning on the television, or tending to her never-ending to-do list.

I asked her if she had a special place in her home where she journals or reflects on her dreams and goals. She took me into her bedroom and showed me a small desk she uses to write in her journal and get on the computer.

The moment I entered the bedroom, I immediately understood why she couldn’t visualize her future. Every surface of her dresser, nightstand, and even her desk was covered with reminders of what once was:

  • Photographs of family and friends, most of whom had died.
  • Self-help books stacked on top of one another (I call these “shelf-help”).
  • Paperwork and unopened mail from obligations she told me she resented.

My friend shared with me that she gets depressed even opening her closet, as it is full of her once-favorite clothes that are now too tight to wear comfortably.

I asked if I could speak to her bluntly, and she nodded.

“Your sanctuary has become a museum of disappointment.”

It struck a nerve, and her eyes began to well up with tears.

“Where in your home,” I asked her gently, “is there room to create a Visualization Sanctuary?”

She quizzically looked at me and asked, “What is that?”

I replied, “It’s a dedicated space for who you’re becoming. Do you know where you would create a Visualization Sanctuary for yourself?”

She had no answer.

Do you?

What Is a Visualization Sanctuary?

A Visualization Sanctuary is a dedicated space – either physical or digital – designed to nurture your imagination, enhance your focus, and amplify the power of your visualization practices.

It can be any space that helps you feel safe, inspired, and connected to the lifestyle of your dreams.

In the complimentary video to this article, I share several examples of a Visualization Sanctuary. For now, I want to introduce you to the benefits of creating one for yourself.

Benefits of Having a Visualization Sanctuary

As children, we instinctively created one Visualization Sanctuary after the other.

These ranged from secret hideouts to cozy reading nooks and even a fort made from blankets and pillows. These sacred spaces allowed us to enter a world of imagination, free from distractions and limitations.

As adults, we often lose touch with this fun and immersive practice unless we are connecting with our children or grandchildren.

Creating a Visualization Sanctuary helps you reignite your childhood ability to dream freely. It also fosters a safe and inspiring environment where your dreams and deepest desires can take root and flourish.

Here are some additional benefits:

  • Encourages a safe space for reinvigorating your lifestyle.
  • Removes daily distractions & helps you focus on your dreams.
  • Activates the power of your subconscious mind.
  • Enhances the emotional connection to your innermost desires.
  • Promotes consistency & habit formation.

5-Step Action Plan to Create Your Visual Sanctuary

A Visualization Sanctuary is more than just a space. It’s a portal to the lifestyle you’re creating. Here is a five-part inspired action item for creating a Visualization Sanctuary:

Step 1: Choose Your Sacred Sanctuary

Identify a physical location where you can relax without distractions. It could be a quiet room, a meditation space, a special chair, or a cozy outdoor setting.

If space is limited or your current living environment is not conducive to a Visualization Sanctuary, create a portable sanctuary. This could include a journal, headphones, and even scented candles that can enhance your visualization experience.

Step 2: Fill Your Space with Inspiration

Begin with visual cues, such as printing images that reflect your dream life (travel destinations, dream home, personal goals).

Establish your own soundscape with specific types of music, nature sounds, and guided meditations. You can also use scents that can trigger deep emotional engagement.

Step 3: Personalize Your Space with Sensory Anchors

Use textures that match your dream lifestyle and deliver a sense of peace and relaxation. For example, a silk scarf if you envision luxury, a soft blanket if comfort is key, or a comfortable pillow.

Step 4: Create a Digital Sanctuary

This can be created using a Pinterest board with inspirational images, Spotify and/or YouTube playlist with empowering music and visuals that match your ideal lifestyle, and a digital vision board on apps like Canva, PowerPoint, or MindMovies.

Step 5: Commit to Visiting Your Space Daily

Spend 5-10 minutes daily in your Visualization Sanctuary, engaging in deep imaginative immersion. Close your eyes and fully step into your dream lifestyle, experiencing it with all five senses.

Next Steps

Next up in this series, you will learn how to “Time Travel to Your Dream Lifestyle.”

I invite you to join me in the video, where I will share “7 Steps for Creating a Sensory Experience in the Physical World” through journaling.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you trying to imagine a new life by living with one foot in the old one? What would you like to change? What new developments would you like to see in your life?

Skin Care

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How to Make Your Own Essential Oil Blend for Mature Skin (Recipe)

A Basic Essential Oil Blend for Everyday Mature Skin Care

With all the wonderful natural facial serums on the market today, it can be a little overwhelming choosing the correct formula with safe, non-toxic ingredients, all at a reasonable price. The good news is that it’s easy and fun to make a quality product on your own using the miracle of nature – essential oils. 

When I started working with skincare formulas in 2003, one of the first products I was excited about making was an essential oil-based facial serum. My skin needs were changing, and a moisturizing oil made perfect sense for dry, maturing skin.

I decided to work with four wonderful healthy aging essential oils I had discovered: Lavender, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, and Carrot Seed.

The natural and highly effective nature of essential oils makes them perfect for skincare. When blended for their various properties and used with a carrier oil that matches your skin type, you can create a serum tailor-made for your skin.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are the essence of plants. Hidden away in many parts of the plant, like the flowers, seeds, and roots, they are very potent chemical compounds. They can give the plant its scent, protect it from harsh conditions, and help with pollination.

The benefits of essential oils on humans are diverse and amazing. Lavender flower oil, for example, contains compounds that help soothe skin irritation and redness, while the scent reduces feelings of anxiety and stress.

The beautiful Rose essential oil is hydrating to the skin and sometimes used to treat scarring, while the scent is known to help lift depression. 

There are many essential oils to choose from for specific skincare needs. I have used a myriad of different combinations but keep coming back to the tried and true blend from my very first serum.

The four essential oils used are the workhorses of skincare for mature skin, as well as being wonderfully uplifting for mind, body, and spirit. 

The Base Oil Blend Formula

Here’s what you’ll need:

Bottle

1 oz. amber dropper bottle. You can find those in pharmacies or online.

Base (Carrier) Oil

As a base, you can use one of the oils below or a combination of several that meet your skin’s needs:

  • Jojoba oil is my base oil of choice. It’s incredible for most skin types: it’s extremely gentle and non-irritating for sensitive skin, moisturizing for dry skin, balancing for oily skin, ideal for combination skin, and offers a barrier of protection from environmental stressors. It also helps skin glow as it delivers deep hydration.
  • Rosehip oil smooths the skin’s texture and calms redness and irritation.
  • Argan oil contains high levels of vitamin E and absorbs thoroughly into the skin leaving little oily residue.
  • Avocado oil is effective at treating age spots and sun damage, as well as helping to soothe inflammatory conditions such as blemishes and eczema.
  • Olive oil is a heavier oil and the perfect choice if your skin needs a mega-dose of hydration. Just be aware that olive oil takes longer to absorb and leaves the skin with an oily feeling. This may be desirable for extremely dry, red, itchy skin.

Essential Oils

  • Lavender essential oil is very versatile and healing. It helps reduce inflammation, kill bacteria, and clear pores. Its scent is also calming and soothing.
  • Frankincense essential oil helps to tone and strengthen mature skin in addition to fighting bacteria and balancing oil production.
  • Rose Geranium essential oil helps tighten the skin by reducing the appearance of fine lines, helps reduce inflammation and fight redness, and offers anti-bacterial benefits to help fight the occasional breakout. The scent is also known to be soothing and balancing.
  • Carrot seed oil is a fantastic essential oil for combination skin. It helps even the skin tone while reducing inflammation and increasing water retention.

The Recipe

Let’s start with a simple recipe:

  • 1 oz. Jojoba oil (or carrier oil of your choice)
  • 10 drops Lavender
  • 10 drops Frankincense
  • 10 drops Rose Geranium
  • 10 drops Carrot seed oil 

Place the essential oil drops in the amber dropper bottle then fill with Jojoba/carrier oil. It’s that simple!

Applying Your Homemade Serum

Use this serum morning and evening as part of your regular skincare routine. Serums work best when applied after cleansing your face. You can cleanse with Coconut Oil or a mixture of oils for enhanced hydration (we will cover this in the next article) or use your regular facial cleanser.

Essential oils will not interfere in any way with your normal skincare products.

Keep in mind that the serum is concentrated. Use only a pea-sized amount, work it into your fingertips, and apply evenly over the face without tugging or pulling.

If your skin feels tacky, reduce the amount on the next application. Your skin should feel soft, not oily. Follow with your regular moisturizer if you like. 

Making your own facial serum is fun and rewarding! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas on essential oils and making personalized serums and skincare.

What facial serum do you use? Have you made one yourself? What is your favorite essential oil for skin care? Please share your thoughts with our community!

5 Ways to Upgrade Your Lifestyle with a Visualization Sanctuary

5 Ways to Upgrade Your Lifestyle with a Visualization Sanctuary

One of the most powerful tools for visualizing your dream life is a Visualization Sanctuary. Unfortunately, it is also one of the most neglected and overlooked areas for creating your dream lifestyle after 60.

  • What exactly is a Visualization Sanctuary?
  • Why do you need one?
  • Where and how would you create one for yourself?

We will answer these questions in this third article and video of my new, 12-part exclusive series for Sixty and Me readers titled Visualize a Vibrant New Lifestyle After 60.

But first, I want to share a personal story with you that happened last year.

A Museum of Disappointment

Last summer I was having dinner at a friend’s home, and she asked me how I visualized a new lifestyle for myself in my 70s, after my beloved husband Joe died.

She confided in me that whenever she tried to visualize a goal or even schedule her week in advance, she got distracted by thoughts and experiences of her past.

Sometimes the thoughts were so overwhelming she would try to distract herself by scrolling on Facebook, turning on the television, or tending to her never-ending to-do list.

I asked her if she had a special place in her home where she journals or reflects on her dreams and goals. She took me into her bedroom and showed me a small desk she uses to write in her journal and get on the computer.

The moment I entered the bedroom, I immediately understood why she couldn’t visualize her future. Every surface of her dresser, nightstand, and even her desk was covered with reminders of what once was:

  • Photographs of family and friends, most of whom had died.
  • Self-help books stacked on top of one another (I call these “shelf-help”).
  • Paperwork and unopened mail from obligations she told me she resented.

My friend shared with me that she gets depressed even opening her closet, as it is full of her once-favorite clothes that are now too tight to wear comfortably.

I asked if I could speak to her bluntly, and she nodded.

“Your sanctuary has become a museum of disappointment.”

It struck a nerve, and her eyes began to well up with tears.

“Where in your home,” I asked her gently, “is there room to create a Visualization Sanctuary?”

She quizzically looked at me and asked, “What is that?”

I replied, “It’s a dedicated space for who you’re becoming. Do you know where you would create a Visualization Sanctuary for yourself?”

She had no answer.

Do you?

What Is a Visualization Sanctuary?

A Visualization Sanctuary is a dedicated space – either physical or digital – designed to nurture your imagination, enhance your focus, and amplify the power of your visualization practices.

It can be any space that helps you feel safe, inspired, and connected to the lifestyle of your dreams.

In the complimentary video to this article, I share several examples of a Visualization Sanctuary. For now, I want to introduce you to the benefits of creating one for yourself.

Benefits of Having a Visualization Sanctuary

As children, we instinctively created one Visualization Sanctuary after the other.

These ranged from secret hideouts to cozy reading nooks and even a fort made from blankets and pillows. These sacred spaces allowed us to enter a world of imagination, free from distractions and limitations.

As adults, we often lose touch with this fun and immersive practice unless we are connecting with our children or grandchildren.

Creating a Visualization Sanctuary helps you reignite your childhood ability to dream freely. It also fosters a safe and inspiring environment where your dreams and deepest desires can take root and flourish.

Here are some additional benefits:

  • Encourages a safe space for reinvigorating your lifestyle.
  • Removes daily distractions & helps you focus on your dreams.
  • Activates the power of your subconscious mind.
  • Enhances the emotional connection to your innermost desires.
  • Promotes consistency & habit formation.

5-Step Action Plan to Create Your Visual Sanctuary

A Visualization Sanctuary is more than just a space. It’s a portal to the lifestyle you’re creating. Here is a five-part inspired action item for creating a Visualization Sanctuary:

Step 1: Choose Your Sacred Sanctuary

Identify a physical location where you can relax without distractions. It could be a quiet room, a meditation space, a special chair, or a cozy outdoor setting.

If space is limited or your current living environment is not conducive to a Visualization Sanctuary, create a portable sanctuary. This could include a journal, headphones, and even scented candles that can enhance your visualization experience.

Step 2: Fill Your Space with Inspiration

Begin with visual cues, such as printing images that reflect your dream life (travel destinations, dream home, personal goals).

Establish your own soundscape with specific types of music, nature sounds, and guided meditations. You can also use scents that can trigger deep emotional engagement.

Step 3: Personalize Your Space with Sensory Anchors

Use textures that match your dream lifestyle and deliver a sense of peace and relaxation. For example, a silk scarf if you envision luxury, a soft blanket if comfort is key, or a comfortable pillow.

Step 4: Create a Digital Sanctuary

This can be created using a Pinterest board with inspirational images, Spotify and/or YouTube playlist with empowering music and visuals that match your ideal lifestyle, and a digital vision board on apps like Canva, PowerPoint, or MindMovies.

Step 5: Commit to Visiting Your Space Daily

Spend 5-10 minutes daily in your Visualization Sanctuary, engaging in deep imaginative immersion. Close your eyes and fully step into your dream lifestyle, experiencing it with all five senses.

Next Steps

Next up in this series, you will learn how to “Time Travel to Your Dream Lifestyle.”

I invite you to join me in the video, where I will share “7 Steps for Creating a Sensory Experience in the Physical World” through journaling.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you trying to imagine a new life by living with one foot in the old one? What would you like to change? What new developments would you like to see in your life?

Read More

Cash in Retirement: How Much Is Comfort – and How Much Is Cost?

Cash in Retirement How Much Is Comfort — and How Much Is Cost

Cash feels safe.

After decades of saving and investing, retirement brings a natural shift. Many people find themselves wanting more stability, fewer surprises, less volatility. And cash – sitting quietly in a bank or money market account – delivers that feeling immediately.

No market swings.

No headlines to react to.

No uncertainty.

But while cash brings comfort, it can also come with a hidden cost.

The question isn’t whether you should hold cash in retirement. You absolutely should.

The real question is: how much?

Why Cash Feels So Reassuring

In your working years, your paycheck acted as a buffer. If markets dropped, income kept coming. If an expense popped up, there was another paycheck around the corner.

In retirement, that buffer changes. Without employment income, people often want a larger safety net.

Holding one to three years of living expenses in cash is a common starting point. If annual spending is $80,000, that might mean keeping $80,000 to $240,000 readily accessible.

That cushion can be powerful. It allows you to pay bills without worrying about selling investments during a downturn. It helps you sleep at night.

And sleep matters.

When Comfort Turns into Excess

Where things become less clear is when cash balances quietly grow beyond what’s necessary.

It’s not unusual to meet retirees who are holding $500,000, $1 million, or more in cash because it “feels safer.” Especially after periods of market volatility.

But here’s the trade-off.

If inflation averages 3% per year, $500,000 sitting in low-yield cash loses roughly $15,000 of purchasing power in the first year alone. Over 10 years, that erosion compounds significantly.

Meanwhile, retirement may last 25 or 30 years.

Cash protects against short-term volatility. It does not protect against long-term inflation.

That distinction matters.

For many people, deciding how to structure income and cash flows – and how long your money needs to last – benefits from a broader retirement strategy.

The Opportunity Cost No One Talks About

For retirees with significant portfolios, the bigger risk often isn’t market swings. The bigger risk is falling too far behind inflation over decades.

If someone has $3 million invested and moves $1 million into cash earning modest returns, that decision may reduce overall portfolio growth in a meaningful way over time.

The goal in retirement isn’t aggressive growth. It’s sustainable support.

Many balanced retirement portfolios continue to include meaningful exposure to equities, even after 65, depending on income needs and comfort with risk.

Cash is a stabilizer.

It isn’t a growth engine.

And in a long retirement, growth still plays a role.

A More Balanced Way to Think About Cash

Rather than asking, “Is this safe?” it can be helpful to ask:

  • How many years of expenses do I truly need in stable assets?
  • What purpose does this cash serve?
  • Is this amount based on a plan – or on anxiety?

For many retirees, one to three years of expenses in cash or conservative investments creates enough stability to avoid selling during downturns.

Beyond that, the conversation becomes more nuanced.

Because while cash feels calm, too much of it can quietly reduce flexibility later.

The Emotional Side of Holding Cash

It’s important to acknowledge something here.

Cash decisions are rarely purely mathematical.

They’re emotional.

After decades of building wealth, protecting it can feel more important than growing it. Especially if you’ve already reached a level where you feel “comfortable.”

There’s nothing wrong with that instinct.

But retirement isn’t just about protecting principal. It’s about preserving lifestyle – and lifestyle requires purchasing power.

The balance between safety and growth is rarely fixed. It evolves as health, spending, and markets change.

There Is No Universal Number

There isn’t one correct percentage of cash for everyone.

Someone relying heavily on portfolio withdrawals may structure cash differently than someone with a large pension and Social Security covering most expenses.

What matters most is alignment.

Cash should support your plan, not replace it.

A Few Questions to Consider

  • How much cash are you currently holding – and why?
  • Does that amount reflect a clear strategy, or simply a desire to feel safe?
  • Would adjusting it slightly increase your confidence – or your long-term flexibility?

Retirement decisions are rarely black and white. But understanding the trade-offs can make them feel steadier.

And steadiness, more than anything, is what most retirees are looking for.

Let’s Talk About It:

Cash can feel like security, but sometimes it’s also a way of managing worry.

Have you increased your cash holdings since retiring – or as retirement approaches? Do you feel calmer seeing a larger number in your bank account, even if you know it may cost you growth over time? If you’re already retired, how many years of expenses do you keep in stable assets? And if you’re comfortable sharing – has that amount changed since you stopped working?

Retirement decisions are rarely purely mathematical. They’re personal.

I’d love to hear how you’re thinking about this balance between comfort and cost.

Read More

Poem: Fake Mike, Part Two – Breaking Hearts and Into Bank Accounts

Poem Fake Mike, Part Two – Breaking Hearts and Into Bank Accounts

Now let’s carry on, dear reader, stay near,
For Part Two holds truths some avoid out of fear.
Because after the money, the wires, the pleas,
Come silence… then questions… then nights without ease.

You wait for a message. Refresh. Then retry.
You tell yourself stories. You reason out why.
“He’s busy,” you whisper. “There’s trouble abroad.”
You pray he’s okay. You appeal to the odds.

But days turn to weeks and the tone starts to thin,
His answers grow smaller, your footing less firm.
And then – like a curtain pulled swiftly aside –
Fake Mike disappears. No goodbye. No reply.

The shock isn’t money – it’s deeper than that.
It’s the loss of a person you thought that you had.
The good mornings vanish. The listening ear.
The sense that someone in the world held you dear.

And here comes the poison that hurts the most:
That quiet self-blame that creeps in like a ghost.
“How could I fall for this?”
“How could I miss
The signs that were waving? The cracks? The abyss?”

But listen up now – this part matters most:
These scams are designed to deceive, not by force,
But by patience and charm and emotional art,
By studying grief and the lonely heart.

They don’t hunt the foolish. They don’t seek the weak.
They target the kind and the open and deep.
The ones who can listen. The ones who still care.
The ones who believe love might still be there.

So if you’ve been taken – by words, not just cash –
You are not broken. You are not rash.
You were human. You hoped. You reached through the dark.
That impulse itself is a beautiful spark.

Now here is the wisdom to carry ahead:
Real love shows up – it’s not typed from a bed
Across distant oceans with reasons it can’t
Meet you for coffee, or lunch, or a rant.

Real love doesn’t borrow or pressure or plead,
Doesn’t test your devotion by financial need.
It doesn’t grow urgent, evasive, or thin –
And it never requires you to prove love to win.

So if something feels off, slow down – take a breath.
Share it with others. Bring it to light.
Scams thrive in silence; they shrink when exposed.
Truth grows stronger the more it’s disclosed.

And if Fake Mike crossed paths with your heart for a while,
Let this be the ending – not bitter, but wise.
You keep your compassion. You keep your deep core.
Just guard your heart – and your bank – evermore.

Read part one here: Poem: Fake Mike, Part 1 — Breaking Hearts and Into Bank Accounts.

Let’s Discuss:

How deep have you fallen for someone who turned out to be a scammer? What red flags are you watching for?

Read More

I Never Want a Purpose Again! …I Want Meaning

I Never Want a Purpose Again! …I Want Meaning

“Purpose? I never want another purpose,” a recent retiree told me. “I’ve had enough.”

We both laughed. After some conversation, she said she was open to a different word – meaning. Can you feel the difference? For many of us, the notion of purpose feels restrictive and full of obligation for good reasons.

Most women navigate life responding to the requirements of marriage, parenting, and work goals. During our lifetime, many women also became achievers professionally, as well as maintaining more traditional feminine roles. That is a lot to manage!

It is not only life roles that define us, but also the social norms regarding how a woman should behave. Although we have made progress, we women are still the primary caregivers, are appraised according to our social standards of beauty, and carry out traditional roles.

Let’s appreciate all we have done to balance life, support others and contribute throughout our lives. Let’s give ourselves a round of applause.

Then What?

What happens when we launch into the phase of life, usually in our 60s or perhaps 70s, when we no longer work, have family to care for (some of us still do), and perhaps have renegotiated our primary relationship to open into more freedom? Certainly, these responsibilities gave us a sense of purpose. The question before our retiree is what she will do with the new spaciousness now open after her career.

We have few external clues about what is supposed to be next. Society is more comfortable if we simply move to the background and quietly fade away.

When we are finally unbound from many of the external obligations of midlife that define how we live, we are free to decide the nature of our lives for ourselves. The recent retiree viewed her life ahead as one of not being confined by all the responsibilities associated with purpose; she felt a sense of release and relief. What she had not yet done is realize that she has the freedom to fill her new life with meaning, vitality, and happiness, however that expresses for her.

What if the opportunity ahead is really about taking advantage of the newfound spaciousness in life and defining for yourself who you are, how you live, what brings you happiness and meaning? How does that feel? Exciting? A little scary? Perplexing?

You Are Not Who You Were

One way to view this game-changing phase of life is to shift from living life from the perspective of who you believe you need to be, to one of living who you are free to be now. For our retiree, the word meaning rather than purpose helped her begin to view what she wants in life from this new viewpoint.

This shift is not a quick and simple process. Shifting our understanding of who we are here to be in this life is a deep adjustment and one that many of us have never navigated, so it is uncharted waters. Many of us have little practice in putting our own desires first. In fact, some of us have never had the opportunity to explore what we want personally.

How do you even find your own desires? It can feel selfish, foreign, and uncomfortable. Some of us are happy to keep life just as it is. Sometimes life presents us with life changes that require us to change somehow, like our retiree. Or we may just get sick and tired of feeling trapped in unhappiness and are ready to change.

When you think about what you want, take your time. Even if you think you know, pause and feel if that is still true.

Be an Explorer

One beginning is simply to notice whether you want something different. Be clear about your willingness to bring change into your life. I have spoken with women who feel dissatisfied yet are not ready for change; that is a valid choice. It is like deciding whether to take the trip or stay home.

The next step is to recognize the qualities that define who you are and that serve you. For example, being trustworthy, friendly, or skilled in certain areas. Pack these in your travel bag.

Then listen to yourself. What do you yearn for? Wish for? Just notice as you go. Perhaps creativity is calling you, or you have a yearning for the richness of friendship and community. Some people have a drive to make a unique difference in the world. Choose what feels right to you now.

Take a small step and see how you feel. You can always adjust. In fact, over time, most of us do find ourselves exploring once again according to life and personal changes.

Our retiree, in the end, did want meaning. She is exploring working with children and how to help them learn to center and calm themselves. It is beautiful because she is using her talents and it brings her joy.

Our stage of life is not about achieving, but about discovering what feels true and joyful now.

What Do You Think:

When your obligations began to lighten, what did you feel – relief, excitement, uncertainty? What might meaning look like for you now?

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Tamra Judge’s Striped Polo and Jeans

Tamra Judge’s Striped Polo and Jeans / Real Housewives of Orange County Instagram Fashion February 2026

Tamra Judge took to her Instagram stories wearing a striped polo top paired with low rise jeans. And with 80’s-inspired preppy looks starting off strong in 2026, this look is a hit. Especially since both pieces are affordable, and you can pair them together or mix and match for multiple occasions.

Best In Blonde,

Amanda


Tamra Judge's Striped Polo and Jeans

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Click Here for Additional Stock in Her Jeans

Photo + ID: @tamrajudge


Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Striped Polo and Jeans

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Erika Girardi’s Blue and White Striped Button Down Shirt and Skirt

Erika Girardi’s Blue and White Striped Button Down Shirt and Skirt / Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 15 Episode 10 Fashion

There was some very tough subject matter broached by Erika Girardi and Denise Richards on last night’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and I definitely don’t want to minimize that. I feel terrible for these women and am so proud of them for getting out of their situations. And I truly hope their sharing and bravery helps others.

That being said, Erika’s blue and white striped button down poplin shirt and skirt is one of my favorite looks she has worn. She looked absolutely stunning, so I couldn’t start the weekend without sharing the details. And though her exact pieces are pretty pricey, the Style Stealers give the very same vibe for a fraction of the price.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair


Erika Girardi's Blue and White Striped Button Down Shirt and Skirt

Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Erika Girardi’s Blue and White Striped Button Down Shirt and Skirt

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