Once you have discovered the undertone of your skin, you are ready to go in search of the lipstick and blush color – or colors! – that will brighten your complexion, enhance your whole appearance and possibly become life-long favorites or “signature” looks.

And, as an added bonus – when you find the best colors, you’re unlikely any time in the future to hear the phrase “you look tired” when you’re wearing your new “go-to” lip and cheek colors.

So, here are some thoughts and guidelines which I hope will make the process of “the hunt” a bit easier.

Try Lots of Different Colors!

Be prepared to visit a number of different department store makeup counters or head to a Sephora or Ulta store that carries a wide range of brands. Most of all, be prepared to try on more lipstick and blush colors than you ever realized might work for you.

And, let’s be realistic, you may have to make more than one trip to stores to try out lipstick colors and blushes. It’s rather akin to searching for a new perfume, but in this case, you can only deal with so many different colors at one time. I promise though, finding just the right color will be worth it!

Try colors out when you’re wearing little or no other makeup on your face.

If your natural lip color is quite dark, be aware that you may have to go a bit brighter, or brighter and lighter than you’re used to in order to find a color that really “pops” for you. Or, find a lip gloss that can brighten and lighten the look.

Test the lipstick color on your lips and the blush color beneath your cheekbone, not on your hand, wrist or arm. Since our lips are a different color than any other part of our body, we need to put the lipstick color on our lips to get a true “read” on what it will really look like.

Work with an Associate and a Friend

Be willing to work with a store associate who can suggest a few colors to begin with and can completely sanitize the products before you try them on. If you’re uncomfortable sanitizing products, check on the return policy of the store and take home a few colors that you think will work the best.

In fact, always check on the return policy of the store before purchasing any makeup product. And if you can, take a friend with you who will be absolutely honest with you.

Matte or Shimmer?

Stick with matte blush colors, no shimmer or glitter.

Do the opposite with lipsticks. Avoid mattes and stick with luminous lipstick formulations. Matte formulas can dry out our lips and age us. Or, if you absolutely fall in love with a matte lipstick color, find a gloss that you can put over it to make it come alive.

Try out glosses on top of the lip colors. They can lighten and brighten and add even more luminosity to colors which will make a world of difference.

Step outside your “comfort zone” to test-run some colors that you may not have tried or considered before.

To decide between two colors, put them next to each other – each one covering half of your upper and bottom lips. If you put one on the top lip and one on the bottom lip, chances are you’ll rub your lips together which will defeat the purpose of the comparison.

If you’ve narrowed down the colors and are trying to make a decision, shine your phone flashlight on the color and/or walk to an area of the mall or store to look at the color in natural light.

Take a picture of the colors as they appear on your face with your phone and look at them later. Just as you can be a more objective editor when you leave a piece of writing and come back to it later, you can be more objective when you look at the photos later as well.

You’ve Found It!

When you find and wear your Holy Grail colors, don’t be surprised if you hear comments like: “What have you done differently?” “You look so rested!” “Did you change your hair?” or “Wow, you look great!” And best of all, you can feel the confidence that comes with looking your absolute best.

And by the way, if after all your hard work the color should be discontinued, don’t despair. There are companies which “have your back” and can re-create your color from a sample. Awesome!

One Last Thought

Please know that what I’m sharing are simply guidelines. Feel free to wear and enjoy any and all colors that make your heart sing. We’ve certainly earned the right to have that kind of freedom and joy at this stage of our lives.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What have you found to be your most complimentary makeup colors? Do you have a favorite lipstick or blush that always generates a compliment? Please share your experience testing different makeup colors, and how you felt when you found the one that worked perfectly for you.

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Yesterday was an eye-opener for me. I learned something new, and at 72, that’s something. I was reminded of the many small opportunities for connection that exist in everyday life, and how easy they are to overlook.

When I’m out and about, I try to smile, give people the benefit of the doubt, and not take things personally. That’s easier said than done. Sometimes people are curt. Sometimes they’re impatient. I’ve been shoved aside, ignored, and had people butt into line ahead of me. I don’t like it, but I’ve come to realize that most of the time it has nothing to do with me. Life isn’t easy, and for some people, simply getting through the day is challenging enough.

But it isn’t these situations that interest me. What interests me are the moments that break through the often cold and impersonal nature of daily life. I’m talking about the conversations sparked by something mutual, something both people can relate to. They don’t happen often, and most of the time we don’t even recognize the opportunity when it appears.

Rare Gem Encounters

Recently, I was in a local craft shop buying supplies for my jewellery making. Two salespeople were chatting when I approached. I gave them a moment before asking if one of them could help me. As I waited, I overheard part of their conversation. One mentioned that she was waiting for a call from the veterinarian. My ears immediately perked up. It sounded serious.

The salesperson who helped me was lovely and showed me where to find what I needed. There were several options, so I pulled out a photo of my crochet cat earrings and asked which hooks she thought would work best.

That simple question changed everything.

The conversation shifted from earrings to cats. Then to her cat’s illness. Then to my dearly departed Tuxedo. From there we talked about our crafts, our pets, and the challenges that come with loving animals as they grow older.

What stood out for me wasn’t that I spent so much time talking with a stranger. It was that I was open to a connection that could easily have been missed. The topic of cats was our catalyst, the thing that hooked us both.

Not Every Conversation Leads Anywhere

Most chats remain brief and go nowhere. Our daily interactions are largely transactional. Buy the item. Pay the bill. Move on.

The salesperson could have simply shown me the hooks, rung up the sale, and wished me a good day. I could have paid and left without another thought.

Instead, a brief comment about what I was making led to a conversation about cats, illness, loss, and shared experience. Neither of us set out looking for that conversation. It happened naturally because we were both willing to engage.

The Joy Is Often Unexpected

Every now and then, something shifts. A comment, a question, or a shared interest turns an ordinary exchange into a genuine conversation.

It wasn’t planned or forced. Neither of us was looking for companionship that day. Yet we both seemed to leave feeling a little better than when we arrived.

That’s what makes these moments so interesting. They appear unexpectedly and often in the most ordinary places.

The Value of Small Connections

As we age, many of our interactions become routine. We may see fewer people as we’re no longer working, and our days often become more predictable. It isn’t necessarily loneliness. It’s simply that there are fewer opportunities for spontaneous encounters.

That’s why these small moments matter.

Sometimes a conversation becomes more than a transaction. There is no formula for making it happen. Most never do. But every now and then a chance remark opens the door to something meaningful.

Before I left the craft shop, we exchanged contact information. I know we’ll cross paths again.

That conversation added colour to an otherwise ordinary day. It reminded me that some of the nicest moments in life are completely unplanned. They happen when we’re open to connecting with the people around us.

They can happen anywhere. With a cashier, a neighbour, someone in a waiting room, or the person standing beside us in line.

These small human interactions quietly enrich our lives, making ordinary days just a little more memorable.

Click for free access to my Substack, Retired Way Out There, where I publish a bi-monthly newsletter and provide handouts.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you chat with people you encounter at random locations? Have any of these encounters turned into something deeper – even friendship?

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Your life is a STORY of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind while moving on to the next. Some chapters are audacious and breathtaking. Some chapters are full of unspeakable joy and happiness. Others… well… not so much. There are turbulent chapters that leave you feeling like you’re in the eye of a tornado and there are chapters filled with sorrow and sadness. As mature women, we have transitioned through the ups and downs of life and we’re still standing!

When you really think about it, you start transitioning from the time you’re conceived. You transform from an embryo to a child to an adult. And ultimately, we all transition out of this world.

We All Transition from and to Something Else

Life transitions are periods that involve significant changes to your lifestyle. Over our life we start school, we get married, some of us get divorced, and most of us will change jobs.

Most, if not all, of you reading this have experienced a major life transition sometime in your life.

Many of you have experienced a major life transition that has PERMANENTLY ALTERED your life.

I know I have!

Some transitions we can prepare for. Having a baby. Retirement. Moving.

And then there are those transitions that KNOCK you upside the head. Being suddenly DOWNSIZED or even FIRED from a job. A health crisis that hits you without warning. A spouse who walks in one day and says he doesn’t want to be married anymore. And, in my case, having lived in Southern California most of my life, an earthquake can literally transition the ground underneath your feet.

Transitions Consist of These Three Shifts

Keep in mind that 3 shifts must take place in any transition:

• A Mindset shift
• A Heart shift
• An Action shift 

When I think about transition, I think about life – L.I.F.E. Let’s take a deeper dive at that word LIFE for the next few minutes.

L – LET GO of Your Need to Know the Outcome

Hey, I know it’s scary to let go but practicing present moment awareness stops us from writing a detailed mental screenplay of how things will turn out.

Let go by ditching the what if’s because WHAT IF they don’t help you?

LET GO of the physical baggage in your life: During your transition, clean out closets and cupboards! Get rid of artwork that doesn’t ignite your soul and clothing that doesn’t make you feel like a rock star. In other words, STREAMLINE your life.

I – IMAGINE the Best Version of Yourself on the Other Side of Transition

You get to CHOOSE who YOU want to be on the other side of your transition! Nobody else. You have the FINAL SAY over your goals, dreams, and decisions. IMAGINE yourself COURAGEOUS because courage breeds confidence.

F – FREE Yourself

One way to free yourself is by doing what the Italians call dolce far niente – the sweetness of doing nothing. During your transition, take a few moments every day to do absolutely nothing ­without guilt and without anxiety – just sit still and breathe!

Another way to Free Yourself is by firing non-supportive people in your life – those who don’t celebrate you or your journey. And then after you fire them, FORTIFY the relationships that are VALUABLE to you, STRENGTHEN your relationship with those who DO celebrate you and your journey.

You Free Yourself by forgiving others. This one can be a tough one. I’ve had plenty of practice forgiving, especially family members. My dad grew up with nothing and died at 79 years old with a six-million-dollar estate. My mother died two years later in 2014 but not before she and my sister met secretly behind closed doors with the attorney and stripped me of my portion of my dad’s estate.

When I learned of the betrayal it felt like a sucker punch to my gut and a right hook to my jaw. I didn’t have some big, fat 401(k) waiting for me during retirement. The inheritance WAS my retirement. To say I was outraged at the time would be an understatement. My attitude stunk at first.

But… slowly over time… I CHOSE to transition through the process of forgiveness and finally release an expectation gone terribly wrong.

Because you see, transition isn’t just about moving to a new city or starting a new job. It can mean shifting to a new state of mind. Look, there’s no way around it, forgiveness is hard, but it’s the most significant way to free yourself.

E – EMERGE as the New You!

What do you want your life to FEEL like on the other side of transition? What heart adjustments will you make? What new ACTIONS will you take?

I’ll leave you with this, dear ladies. No matter what, honor your transition journey. Give yourself the kudos you deserve for still standing. And the next time you’re standing at the threshold of transition, remember to live life, L.I.F.E.

Let Go. Imagine. Free Yourself. Emerge.

Questions for Deeper Thought:

What major transition left you feeling so heavy that you thought you’d crumble under the weight? How did you navigate through it? How have you prepared for transitions you knew were coming? Move? Job loss? Children leaving home?

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When people imagine retiring abroad, they often picture a couple setting off together to start a new chapter. But many women considering a move overseas are not in that position.

Some are widowed. Some are divorced. Some have partners who have no interest in moving. Others simply find themselves wondering whether they are too old to make such a significant change on their own.

It’s a question that comes up surprisingly often: could you really move to Southeast Asia by yourself?

The answer is not always yes. But it is almost certainly more possible than many people think.

Why So Many Women Rule It Out

One of the biggest obstacles is not practical. It’s psychological.

Many women automatically focus on what they might lose. Familiar surroundings. Established routines. Easy access to family. The confidence that comes from knowing how everything works.

These concerns are entirely reasonable. Moving abroad is a major life decision for anyone, and it deserves careful thought.

For many women, the years after 60 bring an unusual combination of freedom and uncertainty. Children may have grown up, careers may be winding down, and long-held assumptions about the future are beginning to shift.

At the same time, it is worth asking whether we sometimes underestimate our own ability to adapt.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that many people assume moving abroad is something couples do together. Yet some of the most rewarding relocations begin with a single person asking whether a different life might still be possible.

Many women have already navigated enormous changes throughout their lives. Careers, marriage, divorce, bereavement, raising children, caring for parents and starting over after unexpected setbacks. Compared with some of these experiences, spending a few months exploring life in another country may not be as daunting as it first appears.

The Advantages of Going Solo

There is another aspect that often surprises people. In some ways, moving abroad alone can actually be simpler.

Decision-making tends to be more straightforward when there is only one person’s priorities, budget and lifestyle preferences to consider. A trial stay can be arranged more easily. If you fall in love with a particular location, extending your stay is often much less complicated.

Solo travellers also frequently integrate more naturally into local communities. Couples often spend most of their time with each other. Someone arriving alone is more likely to join local groups, attend events and build new social connections.

Across Southeast Asia there are established networks of expatriates, local clubs, volunteering opportunities and interest groups. While no one should assume that friendships happen automatically, many people are pleasantly surprised by how welcoming these communities can be.

The Challenges Are Real

Of course, there are genuine challenges.

Loneliness is a real possibility, particularly during the first few months. Distance from family can become more significant as we get older. Missing birthdays, family gatherings and time with grandchildren can be harder than many people expect.

Healthcare arrangements also deserve careful consideration, particularly when thinking beyond routine treatment and looking ahead to the realities of later life. Everyday tasks that seem simple at home may feel more complicated in an unfamiliar environment, especially while you are still finding your feet.

None of these challenges make an overseas move impossible. But they are important reasons to approach the decision thoughtfully and to give yourself time to explore what life might really look like.

Think Process, Not Leap

This is one reason I encourage people to think of overseas retirement as a process rather than a leap.

You do not need to sell your home, move your possessions and commit to a new country immediately.

In many cases, a trial stay is the most sensible first step.

Rent an apartment for a month or two. Experience the climate during different seasons. Visit the local supermarkets. Explore the healthcare facilities. See how it feels to build a routine rather than living like a tourist.

The goal is not to prove that a move will work. It is simply to gather enough information to make a better decision.

Give Yourself Permission to Explore

Sometimes people return home more confident than ever that they want to relocate. Sometimes they decide that another destination would suit them better. Occasionally, they conclude that they are happiest exactly where they are.

All of these outcomes are perfectly valid.

The important thing is recognising that retirement abroad is not an all-or-nothing choice.

You do not have to decide today. You do not have to know exactly where you want to live. And you certainly do not need to have every answer before you begin exploring the possibilities.

The first step is not moving abroad.

The first step is giving yourself permission to find out whether it might be right for you.

Let’s Continue the Conversation:

Have you ever considered moving abroad on your own? What would be your biggest concern about starting a new life overseas? If you could spend a few months anywhere in the world as a trial stay, where would you choose?

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There is a something I have heard from too many women my age, and maybe you have said it yourself.

“I’m just tired all the time now. I don’t feel like myself, but maybe this is just life after 60.”

We say it with a shrug, because by now many of us have learned to be practical. We know aging is real, and we are not looking for a magic cure.

But I want to gently push back on the shrug.

Some of what women over 60 are told to accept as aging may not be aging at all. The tiredness, the fog, the low mood, the poor sleep may be signs of something the body is trying to tell you, and sometimes that something can be checked with basic blood work, a medication review, or a sleep evaluation. “You’re just getting older” should be the conclusion reached after someone has looked carefully, not the reason no one bothered to look.

One important note first: a new racing heart, chest pain, fainting, sudden shortness of breath, or sudden confusion or weakness should not wait for a routine appointment. Those symptoms deserve prompt medical attention.

For the quieter symptoms, here are a few culprits worth asking about.

Your Thyroid, the Quiet Thermostat

The thyroid is a small gland in your neck, but it helps set the speed of nearly everything your body does, including how your brain functions. When it slows down, you may slow down with it: heaviness, low motivation, loss of interest, trouble holding a thought. If that sounds like depression, that is exactly the problem. The two can look so much alike that women are sometimes treated for depression for months before anyone checks the gland underneath.

An underactive thyroid is far more common in women than in men, and it becomes more common with age. A TSH blood test is often the starting place. If you are tired, foggy, colder than usual, gaining weight, losing hair, or feeling unusually low, it is reasonable to ask about your thyroid.

B12, the Vitamin That Gets Harder to Absorb with Age

B12 helps protect your nerves and helps your body build the chemical messengers involved in mood, memory, and focus. When it runs low, the symptoms can look surprisingly emotional or cognitive: low mood, anxiety, poor concentration, memory trouble, balance issues, numbness or tingling, and in serious cases confusion that may be mistaken for early dementia.

The cruel part is that B12 gets harder to absorb as we age, and acid-reducing medications and metformin can interfere further. Deficiency can also hide, because the mental and nerve symptoms can appear before anemia shows up, so a normal blood count does not always tell the whole story. This is not a reason to assume B12 is the answer to everything. But if you are tired, foggy, low, anxious, unsteady, or having memory concerns, especially if you take metformin, use acid reducers, eat little meat, or follow a mostly plant-based diet, it is worth asking about.

Sleep Apnea, the Condition Everyone Pictures as a Man

Many people picture sleep apnea as a heavyset man snoring so loudly the whole house knows it, which is exactly why so many women are missed. In women, sleep apnea may show up as fatigue, insomnia, morning headaches, mood changes, anxiety, brain fog, or waking unrefreshed, symptoms easily filed under stress, menopause, or “just aging.”

The risk for women rises around and after menopause, just when sleep changes are often brushed aside as hormonal. If you wake tired, feel sleepy during the day, wake with headaches, have high blood pressure that is hard to control, or have been told you snore or gasp at night, a sleep evaluation may be worth discussing, even if you do not fit the stereotype.

The Medicine Cabinet

Sometimes a new wave of anxiety is not coming from your life. It is coming from something you were prescribed, bought over the counter, or changed without thinking much of it. Decongestants can make the heart race. Thyroid medication dosed too high can make the body feel revved up. Steroids like prednisone can affect mood and sleep. Heavy caffeine can mimic anxiety. And stopping some medications too quickly can send the nervous system into a tailspin.

The clue is timing. Did the anxiety, insomnia, shakiness, or palpitations begin after a new medication, a dose change, a new supplement, or more coffee, alcohol, or cannabis? That does not prove the connection, but it is worth bringing to a clinician or pharmacist.

One caution: do not abruptly stop a prescription on your own, because some medications need to be adjusted carefully.

When the Answer Really Is Hormones, and When It Isn’t

Menopause and the years after it are real, and hormones can affect sleep, mood, weight, energy, and thinking. The trouble starts when hormones become the end of the conversation, because a thyroid problem, a B12 deficiency, a sleep disorder, or a medication effect can be sitting underneath. You are allowed to ask, “What else have we ruled out?”

What I Hope You Take from This

I am not asking you to distrust your doctor or to diagnose yourself from an article. I am asking you not to disappear inside the phrase “just aging,” because too many women carry a quiet fear that they are slipping or losing themselves when the real cause may be something measurable and treatable.

If fatigue, fog, low mood, poor sleep, or anxiety will not lift, here are a few questions worth bringing to your next appointment:

• Could my thyroid be part of this? Would a TSH test make sense?
• Should my B12 be checked, especially if I take metformin or an acid reducer, eat little meat, or have numbness, tingling, or memory concerns?
• Could a sleep problem such as sleep apnea be behind my tiredness, even if I do not snore loudly?
• Could any of my medications, supplements, caffeine, alcohol, or recent changes be contributing?
• If we are putting this down to menopause or aging, what else have we ruled out first?

If you want the longer version, with the science behind each test and the sources to back it up, I wrote a fuller guide for pH Labs: Physical Causes of Anxiety, Depression, and Brain Fog.

Being tired is not a personality, and feeling foggy is not a character flaw. Before you accept that this is simply how 60 feels, let someone check whether it is something else, something you may not have to live with after all.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had any medical symptoms dismissed due to aging? Did you press for investigation and what turned out to be the case? Have you had any issues overlooked? Do you currently suffer from any symptoms that have not been investigated properly?

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