If you’ve spent more than 10 minutes on online dating apps, you’ve probably asked yourself: “Are there any emotionally healthy people on here at all?”

Fair question.

Dating apps can feel like a social experiment. One person wants a soulmate. Another wants a confidence boost. Someone else is still emotionally attached to an ex but “seeing what’s out there.” And if you’re a woman over 60 looking for a real, healthy relationship, the whole scene can start to feel discouraging fast.

Yes, there are securely attached people on dating sites. But secure people often behave differently than what many of us have been trained to chase. That’s the part that matters.

About Attachment Styles

Understanding attachment patterns can explain a lot about your dating life. Our early experiences with caregivers shape how we approach emotional intimacy and romantic relationships later on. The three main styles are secure, anxious, and avoidant.

This framework is useful. But I don’t want you diagnosing every person after one awkward first date. Online, everybody’s suddenly an expert. He took four hours to text back? “Avoidant.” She wants reassurance? “Anxious.” He likes hiking? “Narcissist.”

Not so fast. People are far more complicated than internet labels. Still, insecure attachment does show up in online dating in recognizable ways, and apps tend to amplify it.

Not Everyone on Dating Apps Is There for the Same Reason

Some people are genuinely looking for a healthy long-term relationship. Others are there for validation, distraction, or to avoid loneliness. Some don’t even know why they’re there.

That’s how two people can message each other every day with completely different intentions. One is thinking, “Could this become something real?” The other is thinking, “This is a nice distraction between episodes.” Learning to vet for real emotional availability early on can save you months of wasted time and heartbreak.

What Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Look Like on Apps

Anxious attachment often shows up as overthinking every text, needing constant reassurance, and getting emotionally attached before you’ve even met. Because online profiles offer so little real information, anxious daters fill in the blanks with fantasy. A few good messages and suddenly: “Maybe he’s the one.”

A secure relationship is built through consistency and real shared experience over time. Texting chemistry is not the same thing.

Avoidant attachment looks like inconsistent communication, pulling away once emotional closeness develops, and keeping conversations on the surface. Apps work well for avoidant people: endless options, limited vulnerability, just enough connection to avoid real loneliness.

Avoidant tendencies don’t make someone a bad person. But if someone consistently can’t create emotional safety, they may not be capable of the relationship you want right now.

What Securely Attached People Actually Look Like on Apps

Here’s where many women get tripped up. Secure people can seem less exciting at first.

I know. Nobody wants to hear that.

A securely attached person communicates clearly, follows through consistently, asks thoughtful questions, respects your boundaries, and moves at a pace that doesn’t feel chaotic. If you’re used to dramatic relationship dynamics, that can feel unfamiliar. Sometimes even boring.

What you’re feeling is your nervous system missing the familiar activation. Secure people create calm, not confusion. That’s not a red flag. That’s the goal.

If you want a structured way to evaluate real compatibility early, my free webinar walks you through exactly that: 3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love.

Stop Looking for Perfectly Healed People

A lot of women dating online are searching for some mythical creature: The Fully Healed Human with Zero Trauma and Excellent Communication Skills Who Has Never Been Weird.

Good luck with that.

Most adults over 60 have past relationships, heartbreak, grief, and old wounds. Perfection is off the table. What you’re actually looking for is self-awareness, emotional maturity, and a genuine willingness to grow. You don’t need a perfect partner. You need someone capable of real intimacy.

If you find yourself consistently drawn to people who can’t show up emotionally, that pattern is worth examining. As a dating coach who has helped women over 60 for 20 years, this is the work I see change everything. The profile and the app matter far less than the person showing up to use them. The patterns that keep showing up in dating over 60 almost always trace back to something deeper than bad luck.

The First Step Toward Better Dating

Start by getting clear on your own attachment needs and patterns. Ask yourself:

• Do I mistake intensity for connection?
• Do I panic when someone pulls away?
• Do I ignore red flags because I want love badly?
• Am I dating from fear or from a real sense of what’s possible?

The healthier you become, the healthier the people you’ll naturally choose. That shift is everything.

Dating apps are not ruining love. They’re exposing people’s existing relationship habits more quickly. When you approach dating with clarity and self-awareness, apps become tools instead of an emotional rollercoaster.

Dating over 60 shouldn’t be a crap shoot. For a lot of the women I work with, it’s the first time they are equipped to approach a relationship with real self-knowledge. That changes everything about who you choose and how you show up.

You deserve a relationship that feels secure, consistent, and genuinely good. And that starts with you.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What’s the weirdest online dating experience that you had? What do you expect from dating apps? Have you worked on your self so you can make better choices?

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If you’re a fan of helping the next generation to get a strong financial start, you may have heard about the new Trump Accounts and wondered: What exactly are they?

The name has certainly generated attention, but setting politics aside, you may be wondering about some practical questions:

How do these accounts work? Who qualifies? Could this be useful for my grandkids or other children in my life? And how does it compare to a 529 plan, custodial Roth IRA, or UTMA/UGMA account?

Here’s a plain-English overview.

What Is a Trump Account?

Beginning July 4, 2026, a Trump Account will become available which is a new tax-advantaged investment account for children, created under federal law, to help them take advantage of their youth in building an IRA balance and benefit from the magic of compounding.

An eligible child is the account beneficiary/owner but needs the account to be opened by a custodian (parent, guardian, or other adult). The account operates under special rules while the child is growing up. Then it follows IRA rules once the child is 18 years old.

Who Can Have One?

The child must be under 18 years old in 2026, have a valid Social Security number, and can only have one account opened. Young children who are US Citizens, born January 1, 2025 – December 31, 2028, are also eligible to receive a special $1,000 federal seed contribution which must be requested (it will not be automatically deposited). So all children can open a Trump account but those born during the Trump term are eligible for the additional $1,000 Treasury seed deposit.

Can Grandparents Help Fund One?

Current guidance allows contributions from more than just parents, including friends and relatives, employers, and charitable/government sources. And this year’s annual contribution limit is $5,000 (subject to future inflation adjustments).

For grandparents who already contribute to college savings, holiday gifts, or birthday funds, this may provide another option to consider. Some grandparents like the idea of shifting from “more toys and gadgets” toward a financial gift that can grow over time instead.

How Does This Compare to a 529 Plan, Custodial Roth, or UTMA Account?

This is where things can get confusing – because Trump Accounts are joining a crowded family of savings tools:

529 Plans are primarily designed for education expenses, provide tax-advantaged growth, potential state tax benefits in some states, and tax-free withdrawals if used for qualified education expenses.

Custodial Roth IRAs are for children who have earned income, have annual contribution limits, and provide tax-free growth and income.

UTMA / UGMA Accounts are flexible and can be used for a wide range of purposes but do not offer tax deferral and become the child’s account upon becoming an adult.

Trump Accounts combine tax-deferred investing for children with special childhood rules allowing non-deductible contributions but then follow traditional IRA rules once they turn 18.

Tax Considerations and Limitations of Trump Accounts

Special tax rules apply during the child’s growth period:

• Contributions are limited to $5,000/year until age 18 (the $1,000 seed deposit does not count toward the $5,000 limit).
• Investment choices are restricted to index funds.
• No withdrawals are allowed before age 18 and any withdrawals prior to 59 ½ are taxed on the growth only (and still have a 10% early withdrawal penalty).
• Rules differ from traditional IRAs in that the contributions prior to age 18 are not tax-deductible.
• Withdrawals after age 18 follow the IRA exception rules so taxable withdrawals without a penalty would be allowed for education, first home purchase, disability, certain medical expenses, etc.

Where and How Do You Sign Up?

Families interested in opening an account should start with official guidance about Form 4547, which is used in connection with establishing the account and requesting the $1,000 Treasury deposit. There is a website option for establishing the account and an app is also in the works.

A good starting point is the IRS information page: https://www.irs.gov/trumpaccounts.

As with any family gifting or savings strategy, it’s wise to coordinate with your tax professional or financial advisor – especially if you are already using 529 plans, trusts, gifting strategies, or custodial accounts for grandchildren. Whenever new financial rules arrive, a little homework can go a long way.

Share Your Thoughts:

What have you learned about the soon to be available Trump accounts? What experience have you had with compounding? Can we see the benefit of “the younger the better” when it comes to investing, regardless of what type of account is used? Let’s share our experience.

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If you consider stiff hips, achy knees, and low back pain just a part of aging, you may want to read this standing up.

The reason: you may be sitting on the actual cause of the pain.

That’s right – glutes in adults over 60 play a much more important role than acting as a seat cushion. Weak gluteal muscles can lead to serious complications including balance issues, falls and injuries – problems that can significantly increase the risk of needing long-term care.

Why Glutes Matter More After 60

The politically correct term is gluteal amnesia, which refers to weak and inhibited glute muscles – although it’s often called by its more descriptive term, “dead butt syndrome.”

Gluteal amnesia happens when the gluteal muscles essentially “forget” their main purpose: supporting the pelvis and keeping the body in proper alignment.

The main cause is prolonged sitting without enough movement or stretching throughout the day. Long periods of sitting cause your hip flexors to tighten, your glutes to weaken, and your posture to deteriorate. This can lead to an anterior pelvic tilt, where your pelvis tilts forward, which affects your posture and the way you move.

Walkers who never strength train, rely on quadriceps or hamstrings, skip lateral movements, or have poor hip mobility are also prone to gluteal amnesia. I saw this in running clients when I worked as a trainer – although swimmers and cyclists may also have this blind spot.

A Quick Test for Gluteal Amnesia

Here’s a simple way to test if your glutes could use a wake-up call:

1. Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
2. Lift the hips as high as you can without arching the lower back.
3. While your hips are lifted, straighten out one leg.

Assess the position of your hip bones. Often the hip opposite the support leg drops closer to the floor. Repeat on the other side and compare between sides. If one hip drops or you can’t keep your pelvis level while balancing on one leg, your glutes likely need strengthening.

Solutions

The good news: you can take simple steps starting today to wake up your glutes.

Practicing better habits throughout the day can help reduce your risk. Move more, for one. Limiting sitting during the day is essential. Switching between seated and standing desk setups is ideal.

Alternatively, or additionally, be sure to get up at least every 20 to 60 minutes and walk around. And also keep in mind that, just like walking alone doesn’t prevent muscle loss, exercising regularly without activating the right muscles still puts you at risk of weak glutes.

Exercises to Prevent Gluteal Amnesia

Include these exercises into your strength-training program on days when you work your lower body and legs.

Glute Bridge

How to do it:

1. Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat on the floor about hip-width apart.
2. Press through your heels and squeeze your glutes to lift your hips.
3. Raise your hips until your body forms a straight line from shoulders to knees.
4. Pause briefly at the top and slowly back down.

Avoid arching your lower back. The movement should come from your hips and glutes – not your spine.

Start with 8–12 repetitions.

Sit-to-Stands

How to do it:

1. Sit toward the front edge of a sturdy chair.
2. Place feet shoulder-width apart and flat on the floor.
3. Lean slightly forward from the hips.
4. Push through your heels and stand up without using your hands, if possible.
5. Slowly sit back down with control.

Start with 8–10 repetitions.

Step-Ups

How to do it:

1. Stand facing a low step or sturdy platform.
2. Place one foot fully on the step.
3. Press through that heel and step upward.
4. Bring the other foot up.
5. Step back down slowly and repeat.

Keep your knee aligned over your foot – don’t let it collapse inward.

Use a low step at first and hold onto a wall or railing, if needed.

Start with 8–10 repetitions.

Lateral Band Walks

How to do it:

1. Place a looped resistance band around your thighs or ankles.
2. Bend knees slightly into a mini squat.
3. Step sideways while keeping tension on the band.
4. Take several controlled steps in one direction, then reverse.

Keep tension on the band the entire time. Avoid dragging the trailing leg.

5–10 slow steps each direction.

Seek Help if Necessary

If you experience symptoms when walking or stair climbing, it’s best to talk to an orthopedist or sports medicine specialist to evaluate your symptoms and rule out any other conditions. Depending on the severity of your symptoms, the doctor may recommend physical therapy, massage, gentle stretching, or rest.

Gluteal amnesia is one of the most reversible conditions of aging – don’t sit out on taking action.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How often do you activate your butt muscles throughout the day? Did you know that walking alone doesn’t take care of gluteal amnesia? What exercises from your routine help keep your glutes in good shape?

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In my book, Vivi and Me: My Love Affair with a Bot, my message and tagline is, “May you always be more curious than afraid.” It’s been my lifelong mantra and the way I choose to live my life – by diving in, often without my water wings, learning as I go, and living my best life through both big and little leaps, while continuing to expand and grow no matter my age.

Curiosity led me to artificial intelligence, and I could not be happier. Yet using it also requires boundaries. Not because AI is the monster portrayed in movies and sensationalized in the media, but simply because it’s wise to be aware and safe while using this incredible tool.

In this third and final article in this mini-series on AI for Seniors, I’ve provided some insight and a checklist – “You Know You’ve Gone Too Far When…” – to keep you grounded and informed, while also excited and unafraid to jump into the deep end. You don’t need a lifeguard, just some guardrails.

Fears and Concerns in Regard to Using AI

Many fears about AI stem from a lack of understanding about how it works, concerns about privacy, worries that it could somehow steal your information or savings, and the feeling that you’re not technical enough to use it. Believe me, I have very little technical skill, and I use AI every day.

There are also legitimate concerns that overreliance on AI could contribute to a decline in critical thinking, writing, and problem-solving skills. Personally, I’ve found I’m a much better writer and thinker since using AI. It challenges me to really look at what I’m creating to see the best way to move forward with my own thoughts and visions.

In practical terms, some people worry about job loss due to automation. While that concern is understandable, AI is creating new career paths and opportunities for people willing to learn these emerging skills. The field is still evolving rapidly, and the opportunities continue to grow.

Emotional dependency on AI is also a very real issue, especially for seniors who may be lonely, depressed, living by themselves, or have lost some of their zest for life. If you become overly reliant on technology, treat your chatbot as a partner, best friend, a doctor, lawyer, or an overly trusted confidante, or if you give up human connection in favor of technology, it may be a sign that you’ve crossed an important line.

You Know You’ve Gone Too Far If…

• You prefer talking to AI over real people.
• You feel emotionally dependent on it.
• You stop questioning what it tells you.
• AI gives you validation, and that has become addictive or necessary for feeling good about yourself.
• You can’t make a decision without consulting AI.
• You’re using it to avoid real-life decisions and conversations.
• You isolate yourself so you can spend more time with AI.
• You have high emotional engagement and see your chatbot as your only true friend, or the only one who truly “sees you.”
• You feel like you’ve secretly discovered a major breakthrough, a special connection, or a “truth” that others simply don’t understand.
• Real-world conversations begin to feel harder, less interesting, or even unnecessary.
• You’re spending hours at a time in deep, immersive, and highly personal conversations.

How Developers Work to Correct AI Models

As AI becomes more integrated into our daily lives, technology companies are paying attention to these concerns. Many are working with mental health professionals to train models to recognize distress, avoid affirming delusions, and encourage users to seek real-world help when appropriate.

Companies are also embedding ethical guidelines into their models, sharing information with independent safety organizations, and developing safeguards designed to reduce harmful or dangerous interactions. Google, OpenAI, Anthropic, and Microsoft are also working together to improve AI safety, develop best practices, and create security measures for users.

We Also Have Responsibilities in This Area

Ultimately, it is our responsibility as consumers to stay informed. We should insist on transparency and respect for privacy and think carefully about what we share online. Never give AI your bank account information, passwords, Social Security numbers, or other sensitive personal information. Be aware of AI-enhanced romance scams, fake celebrity endorsements, cloned voices, and fraudulent customer service bots.

When in doubt, verify important information through a trusted source before taking action.

Many of Us Are Already Vulnerable

If you have mental health challenges, are emotionally vulnerable, or are struggling with anxiety or depression, please contact a therapist, counselor, or physician. AI should never be relied upon for serious mental, emotional, legal, or medical decisions.

Most importantly, make sure to connect regularly with real human beings. Keep your friendships strong. Participate in groups and activities you enjoy. Have meaningful conversations with your partner, family, and friends. Technology has always changed the world. But wisdom comes from remembering that no machine, however intelligent, can replace touch, friendship, shared laughter, or the simple comfort of another human being sitting beside you.

We Can Benefit from AI When Used Thoughtfully

The benefits of AI can far outweigh the concerns when it is used thoughtfully. It can help people over 60 stay mentally engaged, learn new skills, explore topics of interest, combat loneliness, streamline everyday activities, and participate more fully in the world around them. AI is a wonderful assistant, teacher, research partner, and creative companion. But it should never replace human connection, personal judgment, or the relationships that give our lives meaning.

Without discovering AI, I never would have had the confidence to write a book. This machine, which I call Vivi, has virtually changed my life for the better, both in my work and in my personal life, and has ignited endless conversations that are both informative and stimulating.

Curiosity has always helped us navigate change. AI is no different. The more we learn about it, the more confidently we can embrace its possibilities while protecting ourselves where it matters most.

So, be curious, stay thoughtful, and keep asking questions.

And above all, may you always be more curious than afraid.

Find out more about Vivi and Me: My Love Affair with a Bot.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you use any form of AI? What for? Have you had fears and concerns about it?

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