Category: Hair care

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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10 TV Show Recommendations for Those of Vintage Age

10 TV Show Recommendations for Those of Vintage Age

Television is the most popular form of entertainment as we age. It has probably been our most popular form of entertainment through the years also. We were bombarded with warnings of turning our brains to mush if we engaged with the boob tube, idiot box, squawk box or whatever insulting name it was called.

Yet, television has prevailed and is now accompanied by cousins laptop, iPad and smartphone. I am not advocating a couch potato lifestyle, but if you have a desire and some time in your life for television diversion, here are my recommendations of 10 great TV shows to enjoy in your vintage years. 

This Is Us

This show is an incredibly heartwarming and emotional, multi-generational and cross-cultural television series. This Is Us will tug and rip at your heart strings. The show and cast were consistently nominated for the Golden Globes, NAACP and Primetime Emmy Awards. The American Film Institute named it one of the top television shows in 2016 and 2017. 

This Is Us, with its numerous timelines and time jumps forward and back, keeps you guessing as to what is to come and what has happened with all of these beloved characters. You are given peeks into the characters’ lives. There are many times you know what is going to happen, but you are so intrigued as to how they got to that conclusion.

The pilot episode is phenomenal, and it continues with the same intensity and quality throughout many seasons. This show is unique in style and filled with humanity, complexity and universality.

Breaking Bad

This iconic show is in the Guiness Book of World Records as the most critically acclaimed TV show of all time. Breaking Bad has won 16 Primetime Emmy awards and in 2023, it was ranked by Rotten Tomatoes critics as the best TV series in the last 25 years. 

This is the story of a high school chemistry teacher, Walter White, who, when diagnosed with cancer, becomes a methamphetamine producer. I know it sounds ridiculous, but the story works fantastically well. It is true to its name as we watch Walter White transform slowly and nonlinearly from straight laced family man high school teacher to drug kingpin.

This is a very intense drama with extreme suspense and just extraordinarily memorable scenes. It is a psychological thriller that leaves you pondering your own moral ambiguity. Tension and dark humor underlie much of the show and add to the captivation. 

The relationship between Walter White and his partner, Jesse Pinkman, is intricate and fascinating. Also, the cinematography of the show can be just breathtaking at times. The acting, the story writing, the aesthetics and detail in Breaking Bad make it an exceptional show. 

Better Call Saul

Breaking Bad’s spinoff, Better Call Saul does not disappoint. It could easily be watched as a standalone show, but there is so much more to get out of it if you watch them both. Better Call Saul is mostly a prequel to Breaking Bad, although it also works as a sequel. It focuses on the life of Saul Goodman, the fan favorite lawyer of Breaking Bad. This is in large an origins story.

There are a lot of what the whippersnappers call Easter eggs (secrets or bits of information) in Better Call Saul that throw back to Breaking Bad. Off-handed comments, such as Saul’s character saying he gave himself a Jewish sounding name because he thought it would be good for business in an episode of Breaking Bad, turns into a whole plot, the main character starting out as Jimmy McGill and it taking seasons for him to assume the name of Saul Goodman. There are numerous Easter eggs for you to find along the way and I won’t spoil them. 

There are numerous situations and characters on the show that are not on or referenced in Breaking Bad, of course. The relationship between Saul (or Jimmy) and his brother Chuck is fascinating and complex along with his unique relationship with girlfriend Kim Wexler. 

This show uses an interesting technique of showing post Breaking Bad scenes in black and white and before and during Breaking Bad scenes in color. The style and tone of this show seems very different to me than Breaking Bad, but it is equally as mesmerizing and intriguing. 

I Love Lucy

Yes, my list is very eclectic. I cannot put out a list of great TV shows and leave out the classic I Love Lucy. It was the most watched TV show in the United States for 4 of its 6 seasons. In 1955, I Love Lucy became the first TV show to have reruns. This iconic treasure is just plain fun and hilarious. 

I Love Lucy was a transformative part of television history. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz created Desilu Studios which was one of the first independent television studios. Lucille Ball demanded the TV show have Desi Arnaz cast as her husband, which CBS was reluctant to do. CBS did not think a Cuban band leader with an accent would be accepted by the American audience. They were so wrong! The chemistry between Lucy and Desi was magic and gave us the first Latino lead in a TV show.

When Lucille Ball was pregnant, the Code of Practices for Television Broadcasting did not allow pregnancy of TV due to it being sexually suggestive. This absolutely bewilders me. I do not believe there are or were many if any children who had not seen a pregnant woman in their everyday lives. Again, Lucy and Desi insisted on getting their way and the episode where Little Ricky was born was watched by more viewers than any other television episode to that date. But, enough history; it’s a great show! Watch it. 

Ted Lasso

This show just works as great entertainment, and curiously, many people are not able to tell you why they like it so much. It is a heartwarming story about an American football coach moving to England to coach soccer (most of the world would call this real football). Ted Lasso is a TV show that is the exact opposite of edgy. It is down to earth yet not sappy. It makes you laugh and smile but not chortle and snort. There is a soft optimism and kindness throughout this show that our cynical existence needs.

Jeopardy 

Cannot have a list of TV shows for those of vintage age without including Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. These are the stereotypical TV shows of the elderly and for good reason! We need to try and keep our minds as sharp as possible and what better way to do that than game shows. Jeopardy questions are tough and even if we rarely get the answer right, it is fun to try. The first episode of Jeopardy aired March 30, 1964. The format of the show has barely changed through all those years. There is no more iconic game show than Jeopardy.

Wheel of Fortune

Wheel of Fortune is another game show created by Merv Griffin. It first aired in 1975. This is another show to try and keep your mind as sharp as possible while having a lot of fun. The format is simple, but the puzzles can be challenging. 

The Office

The Office is a mockumentary filled with laughs, drama and heart. Irreverent at times, The Office gives you relatable characters. The running gags are great, and the plots and call backs are consistent. I dare to call this show iconic. It lives in infamy with numerous fans, merchandise, and memes galore.

The Twilight Zone

I am referring to the original Twilight Zone series from 1959 through 1964, with Rod Serling. If you have never seen it, I find this anthology series a little difficult to explain. Each episode can be very different from the next. It will go from science fiction to horror and sometimes just plain absurd.

Basically, it is a show about individuals finding themselves in unusual situations referred to as The Twilight Zone. The episodes often end in a twist to catch you off guard and shock, scare or teach you something. The Twilight Zone is a cultural phenomenon that will have you “traveling through another dimension – a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.”

Queen’s Gambit

This TV show is about a chess-playing prodigy. How can that possibly be interesting, you would probably ask. It is surprisingly mesmerizing. You get to know the main character, Beth, so well that you constantly forget this is not a true story. We experience Beth through her days in the orphanage and her drug addiction, and we see how the structured precision of chess brings clarity to her life. 

So, these are my 10 recommended TV shows for those of vintage age. They bring me great joy, and I hope they do the same for you. 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Who else loves these shows? Which is your favorite? Has anyone watched all 10 of these TV series? What are your favorites not on this list?

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How My Ah-Ha Moment Turned into Dating with Intention

How My Ah-Ha Moment Turned into Dating with Intention

This spring I met someone special and had an instant connection. I really like him, and he felt the same way. But then through no fault of either of us, we ended things due to some personal issues.

My heart wasn’t broken because we didn’t date long, but because I liked him so much, it felt a little dented.

Trying to move on, I found myself comparing any new men I met to John (not his real name), and it got to the point that it was hindering my dating experience. I was struggling to let go. Until this week when I had a major ah-ha moment.

There I was, pining over a man who I hardly knew, when BAM, out of nowhere I realized that it wasn’t him that I liked so much, it was his character traits. I liked that he was smart, fun, active, kind, connected to his family, had a silly sense of humor, etc. And most of all, I liked that he put real effort into dating me.

But truth be told, there were some things going on in his life that may have turned into deal breakers over the long-term.

This beautiful epiphany was the perfect feedback I needed because it showed me how I had stopped dating with intention.

What Does That Mean?

Dating with intention means approaching your love life with clarity, mindfulness, and purpose. It’s about stopping that idle swiping and aimless dating so you can shift your focus to men who excite you, have shared values, and long-term potential. It’s about being deliberate with your choices and finding personal connections with men who share your goals and aspirations.

There’s a self-awareness that comes from dating with intention. It requires honesty and bravery. Yes, you’ll make hard choices, but frankly, it’s a much more successful dating style.

My First Steps

Once this thought washed over me, I immediately began writing down everything I liked about John, but I did it in the form of affirmations. By starting with the words I am, your brain perceives that it’s already happened and aligns your behaviors to help make it so.

I used the word men rather than man because I wanted the universe to bring me choices rather than just one… just in case I didn’t like him. I wrote things like:

  • I am attracting men who are fun and active.
  • I am attracting high quality men who are kind and thoughtful.
  • I’m attracting men who are still passionate about their work.
  • I am attracting men who like me for who I am.

I wrote until I didn’t have any more to say. No, this doesn’t mean I expanded my checklists. This means that because I’m dating with intention I’m open to attracting men who meet my must-haves and deal breakers PLUS the other personality traits that will deepen our connection.

I read my list every day because it makes me smile and reminds me that love is in the air. I know there are good men out there because I’ve met them. If you believe it, it can work for you too.

It’s About Having Fun

Next, I made the commitment to be more authentic in my chats. I’m smart and serious much of the time so I decided to start showing my fun, silly side. This usually stays hidden until you get to know me really well. But not any more.

When a man chats with me, he sees the real me, quirks and all, and I’m becoming more comfortable with letting new people in quickly. I want to make sure the men I’m interested in have the possibility of being a good fit. It’s such a time saver!

Mindful Choices

Then I began paying more attention to the quality of the man, rather than the quantity. The more time you spend dating the wrong men, the less time you have available to look for the right men. And at this stage of life, time is a commodity.

You don’t need to worry that intentional dating will keep you home alone on Saturday nights. You may date more. Men don’t want to waste time either and will appreciate your honesty from the start. Be open to adding those words to your dating profile.

Enjoy Meaningful Conversations

Because you’re making better choices, you’re spending time with someone who doesn’t shy away from deeper questions. If he does, you know very quickly that he’s not the one you’re looking for. You don’t need to move quickly. You can ask deep questions about shallow topics and still create emotional intimacy.

Live in the Moment with an Eye on the Future

To really enjoy spending time with someone you must stay in the moment. However, as you continue to learn more about each other, you’ll want to decide if this person has enough depth to carry you past the first couple of dates. Are they a good kisser? Could you introduce them to your family and friends?

Then as the relationship goes to the next level, you’ll want to determine if he’s someone with whom you can handle life’s challenges. Is he a good communicator? Will he let you in? Emotional maturity is critical for emotional intimacy in a healthy relationship. You both want to feel safe enough to be honest about your feelings.

Which Brings Understanding

Dating with intention is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. It helps you truly understand what type of person you’ll be able to build genuine connections with based on shared values and compatibility. It’s how you’ll meet a man who will love you the way you want to be loved. As I always say, “Dating is all about you.”

It’s exciting to have clarity around the type of men you invite into your life. It sets the groundwork for trust and open communication from the very beginning. And if the men you’re dating also date with true intention, you may just find your someone special.

If this sounds like a great plan, but you don’t know where to start, join me for my Iron Tiara Masterclass, How to Find Love over 50 Without Losing Yourself. Schedule your personal watch party here and see how you can avoid the three dating mistakes all women make and stop struggling for love.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What tricks or tools do you use to get over heartbreak? Do you date with intention? What is your intention for dating?

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Breaking a Friendship Is Hard to Do

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Have you had your feelings hurt lately by someone close to you? Or had a heated exchange with an old friend? Did you say something you regret to someone you care about and damage the relationship? Do you sometimes feel angry, negative or discontent, causing you to lash out for no acceptable reason?

I certainly have; and according to the women in my circle, we’re not the only ones. There seems to be a rash of women in our era having disagreements serious enough to end long-term relationships.

Changes in Relationships

This came as a surprise to me. I honestly thought once I got to this stage in my life, my friendships would be permanently cemented. But I’ve noticed recently that some of my closest relationships are not as fulfilling as they used to be.

I also realize I can be inexplicably short-tempered and critical with these women. The same women who I supported in the last few decades and who supported me through careers, relationships and the realities of young life. But now, for some reason, we get on each other’s nerves.

We All Go Through Changes

There are many reasons why aging women find themselves experiencing a shift in mood. Hormones or the lack of, poor physical health, social isolation and loss all contribute to the quality of our mental health and outlook.

It’s difficult to be nice when we wake up feeling stiff or sad. It’s hard to be considerate when we’re worried about our finances, physical wellbeing in the future or spend so much time idle and alone that we forget how to play nice with others.

Is There Something We Can Do?

This era of life with all of its changes can be difficult, but we can take steps to improve how we feel and how we interact with others. These things come to my mind and I’ve tried to practice many to some degree of success.

Take Care of Ourselves Physically

Chronic pain, brain fog and lethargy affect our emotional state and mood. Eating well and getting enough sleep is a good start.

Get Regular Physical Exercise

It reduces cortisol and recent studies show flexing muscles release mood-improving hormones into the bloodstream.

Enjoy Time in the Sun

Spend time in the sunlight to get a daily boost of serotonin, a hormone that elevates mood.

Be Aware of Miscommunication

When someone says something hurtful, ask for clarification before reacting. Perhaps you misunderstood the intention of what was said.

Look for Positive Criticism

When someone you trust says something that seems critical, look for truth in the words. If you find there is some truth to the criticism, perhaps it is appropriate to apologize or make changes. If there is no truth to be found, try to take the words with a grain of salt.

Compassion May Be in Order

There is an old saying, People see us not as we are but as they are. Unkind words can come from those living in fear or pain. Often, there is a need for compassion.

Not All Friendships Are Meant to Live on Forever

If, when we think of losing that person from our lives, we feel sad about what we once meant to each other rather than missing what we currently share, it may be time to let the relationship go.

Avoid Over Consuming Alcohol

Our inhibitions are chemically affected when we indulge and the chances of saying something we might regret go up with every sip.

Sensitivity to a Specific Person

Notice when a certain person’s company sets you on edge, perhaps it is time to take a break from the friendship.

Give Upsets Time to Resolve

We can overreact when our feelings are hurt, and speaking up in the moment could lead to a deeper rift than if we give each other a chance to cool off.

Bring in a Referee

Ask an impartial friend to help you understand the situation and try to find a fair and suitable resolution.

Choose Honesty

Be honest but choose your words carefully.

We’re all learning how best to live in an aging body while being confronted with life’s challenges as we strive to live each day to its fullest. Hopefully, we can do so with compassion and humor, preserving everyone’s self-respect.

Further read, Do You Have 8 Minutes? Finding the Time for Friends.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had a long-term friendship fall out? Were there important reasons for the break-up, or was it caused by little things?

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The Upside to Downsizing – How You Can Love Life with Less

Downsizing

While sorting through my inbox, I came across one email with the subject line “Loving Life with Less.” Given my interest in downsizing, I was very excited to read it. Yes! I thought. That’s exactly the goal.

And then I began to think about how that really felt, and I wasn’t sure that it felt very good to think about living with less. Less what? Less clutter? Yes, that’s great! Less sleep? Well, that’s not so good even though many of us apparently are doing it.

I remembered a wonderful statement from John Muir, the venerable conservationist who fought so valiantly to preserve Yosemite. He said, “Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where Nature may heal and cheer and give strength to body and soul alike.”

My Downsizing Journey

A few years back, I was faced with moving from my 2000-square foot home with a big two-car garage and a very large yard to an 800-square foot apartment with a 46’x46” cage in the basement for storage. Yikes!

Among other things, this meant getting rid of about 80-90% of what I owned. Is this a possibility in your future? If so, you’re not alone in feeling the fears and overwhelm such a prospect can bring.

As I went through closet after closet, drawer after drawer and bookshelf after bookshelf, I realized that in addition to asking myself “How long has it been since I used this and how likely am I to use it again anytime soon?” I also took note of how the item felt when I held it or looked at it. Was it beautiful to me? Was it precious? Did it bring me joy?

What ‘Sparks Joy’?

In her very helpful book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo talks about those few things that, when we look at them, ‘spark joy’.

I think that, as Muir points out, we need more than ‘just functional’ things in our lives. We need some beauty, some play, some soul-feeding things and activities.

And I think that we need just enough of those things. Just enough to feel happy and satisfied and fulfilled in the same way we need just enough functional things to live with ease and a sense of spaciousness.

An Upside to Downsizing

In my book, The Upside of Downsizing: Getting to Enough, I talk about what it means to keep ‘just enough’ in mind while you downsize your home. Just enough functional things like pairs of socks and shoes, just enough camera equipment, just enough tools and books and pots and pans.

Just enough to get things done easily in our lives. But not more than enough. Not so that things are bursting out of closets and drawers and filling the garage to the point that the car doesn’t fit in any longer.

It feels better to me to think about “Loving Life with Enough” rather than “Loving Life with Less.” If I’m living with ‘less’ I may be deprived of things I really need. If I’m living with ‘enough’ I have everything I need to live a complete, fulfilling life.

How Do We Know If We Have Enough?

What are the signs of enough? For many years I’ve had a special project called the Sign of Enough, which is designed to help us answer the question “How will I know when I have enough?’’

It’s not an easy question, and we never answer it once and for all, but we can live ever alert to what the answer may be in that moment.

I invite you to try asking yourself this question for one day. If you’ll do this, when it comes time to do a major downsizing of your home, you’ll be prepared to downsize to enough, which will be at least a bit easier.

Loving Life with Enough

It took about five seconds for much of this to race through my mind before I opened the email I mentioned above. When I did, I realized that the subject was “Loving Life with Less Water.”

It was from a gardening shop and the topic was plants and shrubs that require less water to flourish. I smiled and thought, “Well, not all of us have enough, to be sure, but many of us have way more than enough to flourish.”

I invite you to keep in mind “getting to just enough to flourish” as you downsize your home.

You may find this process challenging, or even painful, so consider providing yourself with some extra support.

Ask a non-judgmental friend sit with you and ask you what’s important as you reflect on the issue. Or consider hiring a coach.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Can you think of a time in your life when you chose to live with less? How did that feel? In what ways does it feel different to you to think of living with less as compared to living with enough? What does downsizing your home mean to you? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

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Why Grandparents Day 2024 Is for Everyone, Not Just Grandmas and Grandpas

Happy Grandparents Day, everyone!

A few years ago, I wrote about the vital role grandparents play in creating a better world. Older adults possess unique skills and wisdom to share with younger generations. We also have a duty to leave the world in better shape than we found it.

The article generated a great discussion and was well-received. However, some community members felt the focus on grandparents left out those without grandchildren. They wondered if Grandparents Day had anything to offer them.

I want to address this concern directly as we approach Grandparents Day 2024, on September 8th. Grandparents Day should celebrate the unique contributions of all older adults, not just those with grandchildren.

Throughout history and across cultures, elders have been revered for their wisdom and experience. Unfortunately, this respect has diminished in recent years. We need to change how society views the role of older adults in making the world a better place.

Celebrating Grandparents Day Starts with Grandparents

It’s true that grandparents naturally focus their energy on their grandchildren. They share wisdom, provide emotional support, and offer unique experiences. Grandparents are there when their grandchildren need them most. Whether it’s teaching a beloved family recipe, sharing stories from the past, or providing a steady hand during tough times, grandparents have a profound impact on their grandchildren’s lives.

But It Doesn’t Stop There!

Older adults without grandchildren also play crucial roles. They can mentor young people, volunteer at schools, or support charities that make a difference. Their contributions are just as valuable. 

For instance, programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters and local mentoring initiatives provide opportunities for older adults to guide and support the younger generation. 

Many older adults also engage in community projects, environmental conservation efforts, and advocacy for social justice, demonstrating their commitment to creating a better world for all.

Highlighting Inspiring Stories

To emphasize the diverse contributions of older adults, let’s highlight some inspiring stories. Take, for example, Maria, a retired teacher who volunteers at a local literacy program, helping children improve their reading skills. Or John, a former engineer who now mentors young adults entering the tech industry, offering guidance and career advice. These individuals, and countless others, show that you don’t need to be a biological grandparent to make a significant impact.

Creating Intergenerational Bonds

Grandparents Day is also an opportunity to foster intergenerational connections. Many communities host events where older adults can share their knowledge and experiences with younger people. These events can include storytelling sessions, craft workshops, or joint community service projects. Such interactions help bridge the gap between generations, promoting mutual understanding and respect.

The Health Benefits of Staying Engaged

Engaging with younger generations benefits the recipients and has profound positive effects on older adults themselves. Studies have shown that older adults who remain active and involved in their communities experience better mental and physical health. They report higher levels of happiness, lower rates of depression, and a greater sense of purpose. 

For example, volunteering and mentoring can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness, which are common challenges among the elderly. Staying active in these ways can also improve cognitive function and overall well-being.

Building a Legacy of Love and Wisdom

One of the most beautiful aspects of Grandparents Day is the opportunity to reflect on the legacy older adults leave behind. Grandparents, mentors, and community leaders impart values, traditions, and life lessons that resonate through generations. 

This legacy is not just about family heirlooms or stories passed down; it’s about the enduring impact of their love, kindness, and guidance. By celebrating Grandparents Day, we honor the lasting influence of older adults and encourage future generations to appreciate and continue this legacy.

Practical Ways to Celebrate Grandparents Day

There are many ways to honor and celebrate the contributions of older adults on Grandparents Day:

Host a Community Event

Organize a local event where older adults can share their talents, stories, and wisdom with younger generations.

Volunteer Together

Encourage families to volunteer at local charities or community projects, promoting intergenerational collaboration.

Create a Tribute

Use social media to highlight stories of older adults making a difference. Share photos, videos, and personal anecdotes to celebrate their contributions.

Intergenerational Activities

 Plan activities such as gardening, cooking, or art projects that bring together older adults and young people.

Support Elderly Neighbors

Reach out to elderly neighbors who may be isolated, offering companionship and assistance with daily tasks.

This Year, Let’s Celebrate All Older Adults

On Grandparents Day 2024, let’s thank all older adults who contribute to the future. Celebrate the grandmas and grandpas who teach, nurture, entertain, and guide their grandkids. And let’s also recognize the millions of amazing older adults who make the world better in their own unique ways.

Join the Conversation:

Do you have grandkids? What do you love about being a grandparent? Do you agree that all older adults who positively impact young lives should be celebrated on Grandparents Day? Share your thoughts and join the conversation!

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5 Ways to Engage Gen Z

5 Ways to Engage Gen Z

I have had the pleasure of speaking to and mentoring students from grade school to college age, as well as young professionals living in different parts of the United States and the world. Each time my interactions leave me reassured that the world is not only in good hands but will do better under their guidance.

Oh, you say, what about all the news articles citing mental health issues and addiction to social media with its disinformation? What about drug use? Riots and social upheaval? Yes, those and many other problems must be addressed. What gives me reassurance? My personal experiences. Here are some examples of ways to engage with Gen Z – those born between 1997 and 2012.

Junior Achievement

My first experience with mentoring was through Junior Achievement. For those of you not familiar with this program, Junior Achievement uses hands-on programs both in a school classroom and in onsite facilities to teach “market-based economics and entrepreneurship.”

In Illinois, I worked with a group of students to select a product, then manufacture, market, and sell it. Each student had a major role in the company and regular financial reports were required. My JA company sold Chex-Mix. The high school students I worked with were excited, eager to learn, creative, and respectful.

After I moved to Arizona, I volunteered with JA in their facility where a mini town was set up, complete with radio station, grocery store, bank, insurance company, travel agent, utility company, etc., along with a mayor and city officials.

Fifth-grade students spent a day in Biz Town after classroom preparation. The excited students arrived with their JA checkbooks and assignments and had such fun running his/her store and spending their JA paychecks. Oh, the companies had to pay regular bills, so it was possible to run a deficit. Great learning experiences!

UNCW

When I lived in Wilmington, North Carolina I had the opportunity to get involved with several programs on the University of North Carolina Wilmington campus. One was a mentoring program for women. I was assigned a young girl from Tanzania whose intention was to attend law school as had an older sister.

Although very shy at first, I got to know her as we enjoyed time together on campus, in the community, and in my home. This young lady opened my eyes to a different part of our world and the additional struggles a young girl from Africa must overcome to survive and thrive. Her confidence and determination inspired me.

The business school at UNCW also had a mentoring program for its senior students. Matches were made with volunteers from the business community. I had my own financial planning firm at the time and was matched with two students.

I invited each to spend a day with me in my office and demonstrated my planning process – how I gathered information, used software to help me analyze it, researched to fill in gaps or gather options, made recommendations, and developed a presentation. Both students were guests in my home, and I am still in contact with one who selected a career in the financial world.

Rotary

When I lived in Wilmington, I was a Rotary International member. The mission of Rotary is: “to provide service to others, promote integrity, and advance world understanding, goodwill, and peace through our fellowship of business, professional, and community leaders.”

My Rotary group took part in an international program to bring young professionals from other countries to the United States to spend time with someone with a similar career. Although I was not matched as a financial planner, a young lady from Bolivia stayed in my home.

She was doing research on a disease common in her country that is carried by insects. She was matched with a local pharmacist as I recall. I am still in touch with her via Facebook and our friendship inspired me to learn more about Bolivia. Growth and learning and understanding go both ways!

World Academy for the Future of Women

I found out about this group through a friend. It was founded by an incredible woman in Arizona to “advance and accelerate women’s leadership worldwide.” At the time I went through their facilitator training, the programs of the Academy were only available in China. Now they are engaged with Mexico, India, Uganda, and Kenya, and look forward to adding other countries. The organization now has Consultancy Status with the United Nations.

In China, the Academy is located on the campus of SIAS International University in Xinzhen, China (Henan Province). Volunteers with the Academy teach classes on various topics over a 5-week period. They live and eat on campus.

Because volunteers are responsible for their own airfare and incidentals, I was not able to complete a volunteer stint. However, I mentored two Chinese students via email and Facetime. What incredible young ladies! They are so anxious to learn about the world, and develop leadership skills to discover “their passion, purpose and path to success.”

Luther College

More recently, I spent a couple of hours with a group of students at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa to talk about the basics of investing. My presentation was not required and yet almost all who were a part of the sponsoring campus program attended. Their questions showed that they listened, understood, and wanted to learn as much as possible. They took full advantage of the opportunity!

These are just a few of my experiences. There are so many ways that a person, whether a professional or a retiree, can find to interact with Gen Z. The opportunities might be related to your passion, or they might be more general in nature. If you are a member of a service organization, start your research there.

Many colleges and universities welcome volunteers and even sponsor programs for their students to interact with the community. If you are interested in travel or want to learn more about the world, focus your research on international programs.

What impressed me most about my volunteer interactions? The attitudes of the students! In each case the young people involved were excited, they wanted to learn and to be better world citizens. They were eager to undertake new experiences and find solutions to problems. They asked great questions that challenged me to give answers that would encourage them to ask more questions. They were determined to succeed and were not deterred by roadblocks.

If you want reassurance about the world’s future, look for programs and opportunities to interact with Gen Z. If your experience is like mine, you will benefit as much as those being served! You can also ask yourself these 6 questions before you decide volunteering is for you.

Reader Questions:

Have you ever been a mentor? If so, what was your experience? Did you come away excited about the future or worried? Why?

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6 Things to Change If You Want to Lose Weight After 60

Lose Weight After 60

The time for excuses is over. In this article I will discuss the 6 top mindsets you have to overcome if it is weight loss you are looking for. And not just weight loss, but sustained weight loss.

Vision, goal and take action, that is my motto.

Stop Trying to Emulate Others

Find out what works for your body and what does not.

Do not make the mistake that many people make when they try to copy their idol. These people may make random comments like “spirulina changed my life.” The result is a massive increase in spirulina sales. Yet, spirulina may not suit everyone.

I know when I tried spirulina, I was so constipated after 4 days, I felt like I had swallowed a brick. Since I had sufficient iron levels already, adding spirulina to my daily routine did not suit my constitution at all.

You will know when a food or diet program suits you when you gain energy and vitality as opposed deprivation and irritability.

You Already Have the Tools You Need at Hand

Stop with the excuses and start looking for ways around any obstacles that may be a hindrance to your success.

Don’t have any money? Going for a run is free. Not sporty? Take up walking, even just 10 minutes a day. Step outside your front door and get started. Need weights for your arms? Carry a 500ml water bottle in each hand.

Once you have made a start, no matter what level, you can raise the level of exercise from one week to the next.

There Will Be Pain

I am not going to sugar coat this point. Of course there will be pain, or else you would have made changes to your lifestyle long ago.

I liken myself to a fat person living in a thin body. Yes, you heard me correctly. I am just like a reformed alcoholic who is only a drink away from falling off the wagon. If I find myself wandering from my usual eating habits, I will fall off the wagon. Then I am on the slippery slope to obesity once again.

When I first stopped eating processed foods like brown pasta and breads, I felt miserable. I would crave these foods. But instinctively I knew that I had to work through the initial pain.

Having cereal for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch and pasta for dinner was a carb overload that did not suit my body. Where was the fruit and vegetables in all this? When I first stopped eating processed foods and introduced a diet comprising more fruit and vegetables, the withdrawals were severe. I had to send my husband and children away for a weekend!

After two days of giving up on the foods I stupidly cherished, I woke up with such clarity and energy. I knew that I had overcome the worst days and the future was going to be okay. The pain was gone and was replaced with enthusiasm and strength to move on.

Do What You Love and Modify Things You Don’t Like to Do

Is your aim to lose weight or improve your exercise endurance but you don’t like joining a gym? Then find something that you enjoy. There may be a walking club in your area. Perhaps you can explore other possibilities. Why not consider line dancing, pole dancing (keep an open mind here), or water aerobics?

Even if you have a regular exercise regime, it is always important to break your routine. This will give your body a change of scenery. Do you take the same walk to the bus stop every morning, or while out walking the dog at night? Try to vary your route and you will be amazed at what you discover.

See something new and pay attention to it. This is the way your body reacts to a new exercise regime. Different muscles may be activated, reigniting your body.

Stay Positive

There will be bad days as well as good.

When I decided that it was time to lose weight and no longer be trapped in the obese body I was encased in, the journey was not all smooth sailing. There were times I would look at my husband with envy and anger. He is one of those rare people who actually has trouble gaining weight. He does not have to watch what he eats and never has to worry about his weight.

Being angry with him served me no purpose. It was only making me miserable. So I decided to concentrate on my own journey. When the weight started to go down, and clothes shopping became easier, the journey was that much sweeter because I had earned it.

Develop a Plan by Visualizing Your Goal

There are 3 steps that you must take if you want to achieve your plan. These are vision, goal and action.

Vision

This is self-explanatory. You want to visualize yourself as being slimmer than you are now. You can do it. You must create a vision about want you want to be able to do, not what you can do.

Goal

Whether it is an upcoming wedding or your own birthday party, having a goal to work towards is a great tool. For me, goals kept changing as I lost weight. At first I thought it would be great to look good for an upcoming family reunion. I aimed to lose 5kg for that event that was one month away. Once I started losing the weight, I knew I could achieve even more.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would lose the 25kg that I did. Breaking it down into achievable goals allowed to me achieve what I originally thought was impossible.

Action

Vision without action will get you nowhere fast! This is where the hard work begins. The first step is the hardest. But once you have made the first step the journey becomes easier. There may be a few bumps along the way to keep you on top of your toes. This is where you have to find a program that suits your style and way of life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your vision, goals and action on your weight loss journey? What changes would you make? Are you looking to lose weight or perhaps start up a new exercise program? Please join the conversation!

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The Time Traveller Exercise: Letter from My Future Self

The Time Traveller Exercise Letter from My Future Self

Finding creative insight for planning our lives can sometimes be tricky. Sometimes we are simply too involved and too close to our situation. A bit of mental distance can help you find more original ideas and thinking.

So, imagine meeting your 90-year-old self, who has travelled back in time. What would this wise oldie from the future advise you?

Imagining how your experienced 90-year-old future self gives you advice, will help you to create psychological distance. This exercise allows you to shift your perspective and to see approaches you might otherwise overlook.

What insights would your time travelling advisor share?

Start from the Finish

When we start from the finish, we have the opportunity to align our lives with what we want to be remembered for and stay true to our personal values as we go through the journey of life.

This exercise is a powerful tool. It is all very well to say you have to dream, but some of us don’t even know what our dreams are and can’t say exactly what they want from life. By writing a letter from your future self, you can help yourself to tap into the issues and achievements that are important. The letter from the future helps you create a bright future for yourself priming you to notice opportunities. Once you set these expectations for yourself, you are more likely to achieve them.

Just having a vision or a dream of a future life is not enough to get us there. We need to set goals and targets and chart our progress towards them

Writing yourself a letter allows you to look at all aspects of your life and identify the things that are important to you.

Writing down your goals from the perspective of the future – as if you’ve already succeeded in achieving them – is surprisingly therapeutic.

Writing a letter from your future self will challenge you to think about who you are and who you want to be. This exercise can be extremely emotionally freeing and will help you to think critically about how you might choose to live now.

How Do You Write a Letter from Your Future Self?

  • Write it as an actual letter.
  • Be honest – it’s a pointless exercise otherwise!
  • Refer to yourself as ‘you’.
  • Be compassionate and empathic.
  • Tell yourself what you wish someone had told you.
  • Take your time. It does not have to be completed in one sitting, and in fact, the exercise would benefit from having a sleep or two on it.

Ask Yourself the Following Sorts of Questions

  • How would I like to be remembered?
  • How would I like to have spent my time?
  • Who do I want to have been?
  • Where do I want to have been?
  • What do I want to have done?
  • Who do I want to have been with?
  • Which hobbies have I developed?
  • What friends do I still see?
  • What kind of new friends have I developed?
  • In what sorts of places did I meet these new friends?

Read through your letter. Do you want to make any changes?

Further Questions

Then ask yourself these further questions:

  • Are you on track to reach your goals and desired achievements?
  • What changes do you need to make right now to make your letter a reality?
  • What are the first steps?
  • What resources do you need?
  • How will your strengths help you?
  • How will your weaknesses hinder you?
  • What steps could you take today?

This exercise is about looking back at the person you were with the information you have now in the future. It will give you a focus on what advice you would give your past self.

Yet Another Batch of Questions

  • What are some of the main things you have learned?
  • What should your past self look out for?
  • What is the best advice you could give you past self?
  • What would you tell yourself to get through some of the challenges that you have faced?
  • What would you tell yourself about your successes and the way you dealt with them?
  • What kind of people have helped along the way?
  • What kind of people made life harder?
  • Who do you wish you had spent more time with?
  • Of the advice you have given to your past self, how much of it are you following today?
  • How could you follow that advice better?
  • What else can you take away and better apply to your life and your immediate future?

Take as much time as you need to answer these questions.

It’s All About Your Hopes and Dreams

Looking to the future is a hopeful thing to do. By writing yourself a letter from the future you are encouraging yourself to make quite explicit the hopes and dreams that you carry around inside you. Once you have set them down on paper they are harder to ignore. Of course, your wishes, your dreams, your desires may change, but by writing down your hopes you breathe life into them and move yourself close to realising them.

Dreams on their own are not enough, but they are a starting point. Your dreams are the vision that you need to make a plan and start building.

The letter from the future is for you. You can use it to explore any part of your life. You need never show it to anyone. The closer you can get to your real feelings, the greater result you will experience.

Further read, Letter To My Younger Self.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

When was the last time you wrote a letter to yourself? Was it to a past or future self? What did you write about? If you were to write such a letter today, what would you include?

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It’s Fun to Be a Dreamer

It’s Fun to Be a Dreamer

To all you wonderful dreamers out there. Dream on.

Spend your days daydreaming of what might have been… or what could still be. Spend your nights sleep-dreaming of all the incredible hopes and wishes you have for the future. 

Anything is possible. As Walt Disney famously said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.”

Play out scenarios in your mind of wonderful times of days gone by, of future loves, picnics in the park, swimming in the lake, dancing in the dark, building a business, writing a song. Dream on, you lovers of life. Why spend your days worried and anxious when you could be walking through the grass barefoot, sipping chilled champagne, planning your glorious future and living your best life?

A Dreamer at School

When I was at school, I was often referred to as a dreamer. It was meant to inspire me to listen and work harder, but I took it as a compliment and carried on dreaming. I wasn’t interested in algebra or trigonometry, things I would probably never use, but I was interested in the beauty of words. I would lay my head on my desk and dream up poems or stories, imagining a wonderful world of make-believe. My teachers said I would get nowhere.

But I kept on dreaming. 🙂

Falling in Love

Dream of first kisses and falling in love, the butterflies and skipping heartbeat and that wonderful feeling of a new, exciting future. Who knows where it will lead? Spare a tiny thought for the one who got away, still safely tucked in a little corner of your heart.

New Lives

Recall those first flutters in your tummy as you experienced the miracle of new life. Remember that immense rush of emotions as your slippery, splattered newborn filled your heart with untold love. Their reddened, scrunched up face – as beautiful as anything you have ever laid eyes on.

Remember the days on the beach with children wrapped in soft towels after splashing in the sea, tired and snuggly in your arms. Recall the hours spent playing in the garden and the sleepy bedtime stories, wrapped in each other’s arms, on days you never wanted to end.

Smile at the teenage tantrums and slamming of doors, before a sorry note or smile is begrudgingly given. Wonder at your beautiful baby growing into a gangly teenager, with thoughts of their own, and arguments to match.

Empty Nest

Shed a tear at the empty nest and the realisation that your baby is all grown. It is what seems like moments before they have babies of their own. The wonderful cycle of life. This big old wheel keeps on turning.

Dream of new lives growing and know the love you experience is so much more than you could ever have imagined. This precious little being who will one day soon call you grandma. Who will steal your heart and keep you younger than any pill your doctor could prescribe.

Dreams Are Your Past and Future

Wrap your dreams in the softest tissue paper and fold them neatly to store in your heart, for tough days to come. They surely will. When age and weariness take over, they will be your comfort. When tears of love and happiness trickle down your cheeks, remember your dreams. They are both your past and your future.

Good Company

Dreamers are in good company, with the likes of Martin Luther King Jr. and his famous speech, ‘I have a dream…’ and Albert Einstein who was said to have discovered the theory of relativity in a dream. Thomas Edison credited his discovery of electricity to his dreams, Bob Dylan composed music from his dreams, and Paul McCartney attributed the lyrics of ‘Yesterday’ to his dreams. We are ok, us dreamers.

Dream a little dream.

Join the Conversation:

Are you a dreamer? Did dreaming have a big effect on your life? Do you know someone who’s dreams turned into reality?

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15 Ways to Romance Yourself After 60

15 Ways to Romance Yourself After 60

Has your desire for romance changed at all now that you are in your 60s? How often have you considered romancing yourself?

Engaging in self-romance can be beautifully rewarding as it offers lots of fulfilling experiences. Providing you with a renewed sense of purpose, self-worth, and happiness, self-romance is an essential part of your well-being.

For all of its benefits, however, romancing yourself after 60 is not something you hear a lot about.

In this article and the accompanying video, we will explore what self-romance is and go over 15 different ways you can rejuvenate your life by romancing yourself. This is part of a new series on “The Art of Self-Love After 60,” where we focus on new ways to stimulate love, happiness, and pleasure on our own terms.

You can read the previous installments here:

#1: 7 Steps to Turn Up the HEAT on Your Love Life

#2: 10 Easy Ways to Love More of Yourself

#3: 7 Pillars of Becoming Your Own Authority on Love

#4: 10 Steps to Loving Yourself Unconditionally After 60

What Is Self-Romance

As you age, embracing your unique romantic desires becomes essential to your contentment, happiness, and overall well-being. But what exactly is self-romance and what are some of its benefits?

Self-romance is the act of expressing love and appreciation towards oneself. It’s about prioritizing your needs and wants, indulging in self-care, and cultivating a deep, nurturing relationship with yourself.

For women over 60, self-romance is an excellent opportunity to honor all of you. Engaging in self-romance activities stimulates deeper levels of joy, satisfaction, and rekindles your passion for life.

Flip the Script on Romance

Romantic gestures are usually associated with someone else giving them to you. Self-romance is about you flipping the script on all of the romantic stories you grew up on.

Unlike legions of fairytales and stories that portrayed romance as a damsel in distress, waiting for Prince Charming to arrive and sweep her off her feet, when it comes to self-romance, you are the heroine of your own love story.

In this story, you get to honor yourself in ways that give you the love, adoration, and kindness you desire and deserve.

How do you do this? By directing your desires for romance inwardly, rather than seeking it outside of you.

15 Ways to Romance Yourself

Self-Care Rituals

Whether it’s a luxurious bath with scented candles and oils, a facial mask, or simply applying your favorite moisturizer, self-care rituals are a sumptuous form of self-romance.

Self-Dates

Take yourself out to a nice restaurant, a movie, or simply spend an afternoon at a café with a good book. Enjoy your own company.

Travel Solo

Solo travel can be empowering and liberating. Embark on an individual journey to that special place you’ve always wanted to visit.

Journaling

Write love letters to yourself, document your life journey, or simply engage in gratitude journaling.

Self-Eroticism

From reading an erotic book to self-massages, and even the use of erotic toys, self-eroticism is taking matters of the heart into your own hands.

Take a Class

Have you ever wanted to learn painting, dancing, or a new language? Now’s the time to indulge in fulfilling your personal desires while also meeting new people!

Indulge in Nature

Take long walks in the park, beach, or woods. Nature has a way of soothing the soul and expanding one’s heart.

Redesign Your Living Space

Redecorating your environment can be refreshing and can establish a new way to express your romantic side.

Dress Up

Don’t wait to impress someone else, feel beautiful for yourself. Wear that beautiful, sexy dress or jewelry you’ve been saving for a special occasion.

Meditation and Yoga

Connecting with your inner self is a sure-fire way to ignite your romantic side. It’s also a great way to find peace and contentment.

Listen to Music or Dance

Let music move your soul. Dance around your living room without a care.

Cook or Bake

If you like to cook meals for those you love, start with yourself. Prepare your favorite dish or try something new. Savor every bite.

Gifts

A gift could be a spontaneous purchase such as a little trinket you see at a market or online. It can also be something more extravagant. Whatever it is, buy yourself something you love because you are worth it!

Spa Day

Book a day at the spa or create one at home. Pamper yourself in ways only you can.

Affirmations

Use positive, romantic driven affirmations to remind yourself of your worth, beauty, and sexuality.

Love on Your Terms

Being romantic to oneself isn’t about grand gestures. It’s also not about trying to prove your worthiness for a future romantic partner.

In fact, self-romance is just as important when you are in a loving partnership with someone else as it is if you are single.

Ultimately, self-romance is about loving yourself on your terms. This is cherishing who you are by honoring your feelings and finding joy in the most important person in your life – you!

I invite you to join me in the video above where I will share seven journal exercises that will ignite your love and passion for yourself.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How are you finding ways to romance yourself after 60? Do you have a special hobby that brings you delight? Do you travel solo just for you?

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