Month: November 2025

One of the things I love about being older is the huge amount of precious memories I have accumulated, many that have been stored for decades. On dreary rainy days, like today, I take them out and enjoy replaying them again. 

One of the most enjoyable is a good old-fashioned Sunday.

Sixpence

The day started with a shout from my dad, “Who wants to earn sixpence?” With a large household there was always someone happy and willing to run to the shops to pick up the morning newspapers.

I was the youngest of seven, so rarely got the chance, but if I did, my sixpence would probably be spent on a bar of Caramac chocolate, half eaten before I arrived home. I would usually save a few squares to share with one or two of my siblings.

Sunday Roast

Oh, the smell of Sunday Roast! Mum would start cooking soon after breakfast, and the whole house would smell delicious. 🙂 Roast lamb was my favourite. How, each and every Sunday, my poor mum rustled up such a magnificent feast on such a tight budget, I will never know. Roast potatoes, mash, cabbage, peas, carrots, Yorkshire pudding, and, of course, the roast meat itself. However hard I try, I can still never recreate that incredible aroma of my mum’s Sunday Roast.

Children would be sent out to play, returning home just in time for it to be dished up. I never remember any of us being late! No one would risk getting what was left. 🙂

Full Bellies 

With tummies full to bursting, everyone settled down in the sitting room for games or debates. I loved these times, especially in winter, with a huge crackling fire (my dad was a coal man). Snakes and ladders, chess, ludo, cards, where there was always someone to play with. Debates were lively and always interesting. As the youngest, my points were not very valid, but I learnt so much from everyone else… and also learned how to have a voice in the noisy confusion of life. 🙂

Afternoon Tea

It is hard to imagine, but even though we were a relatively poor family, Sunday afternoon tea was a sight to behold. It sometimes reminds me of the John Betjeman poem, Myfanwy. Fortunately for mum, she took a backseat at the event, which was usually left to the children (my eldest brother was 17 years older than me). Various sandwiches, two Swiss rolls (chocolate and jam), a trifle, fruit cake, angel cake, tinned fruit, a jug of custard, jars of marmalade and jam, delicious homemade bread, and lots of fishy things! 

My sister and I, being the youngest, were often paid a penny to make winkle sandwiches, or take the shells off prawns for my dad. That meant we could buy a penny bun on the way to school the next day. 🙂

Goodnight

After a long and eventful day, we were bathed, hair washed and sat in front of the fire, gleaming clean and smelling of medicated shampoo. 🙂 If we were lucky, there would be enough milk for an Ovaltine or cocoa before being sent up to bed, with strict instructions to read for only half an hour and then lights out.

In wintertime, the rooms were freezing, no central heating back then. The windows were also single glazed, and I can remember marvelling at the beautiful patterns made by the inside frost. Hopefully, dad would have popped a brick wrapped in an old towel, in our beds, heated in the oven above the fire.

Downstairs you could hear the comforting sounds of the rest of the family talking, and as my eyes gently closed, I dreamed of the day’s adventures playing in the bomb sites of London, completely oblivious to the dangers. What a very lucky lady I am to have such wonderful memories! 🙂

Join the Conversation:

What is your favourite Sunday memory? Have Sundays changed much for you? What, if any, traditions do you keep?

‘Tis the season of streaming.

Photo: @kristincavallari

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Originally posted at: Kristin Cavallari’s Brown Suede Shirt

Looking forward to something, like a trip, a visit, or even a simple daily routine, like walking the dog, can brighten our days. The joy of anticipation gives us a reason to get up, to smile, and to carry on with the ordinary things we don’t particularly enjoy, like washing dishes or folding laundry.

But sometimes anticipation turns on us. We can slip into the trap of over-anticipation. When we look to the future with too much intensity, we start to want to control every part of it. Our joy turns into stress. The event we once looked forward to, now feels like pressure. Our excitement begins to fade into disappointment.

We’ve all been there. We play the “what if” game, imagining every possible outcome as if we were fortune-tellers. One day we’re eager and hopeful; the next, we’ve convinced ourselves it will all go wrong. Dread creeps in, and we may even start to avoid what we once couldn’t wait for.

The trick is to notice this shift before it takes over.

The Pull of Negative Anticipation

Psychologists call it anticipatory anxiety, that mix of dread and overthinking that settles in before something happens. In simple terms, it’s expecting the worst before there’s reason to.

I often catch myself doing this. I tell myself not to “jinx” things by being too hopeful. Instead, I brace for the worst, hoping that when things turn out fine, I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Completely illogical, I know. But also, very human.

The older I get, the more I notice this pattern. It’s as if I’m trying to protect myself from disappointment by lowering my expectations. At least I can recognize it now. When I catch myself going down that road, I try to stop and tell myself, “Enough, this isn’t helping.”

Life is rarely black and white. Most experiences fall somewhere along a wide grey spectrum. Sometimes things turn out far better than we imagined, other times, not quite as well. But they are rarely as terrible as we feared. And there are the unexpected outcomes that, while different, are still good. Those are the moments that remind me not knowing is okay.

Last year, I applied to be a ByWard Market vendor in Ottawa. At first, I was thrilled at maybe having a chance to share my recycled, cat-themed art. But months passed with no reply. I convinced myself they hated my work. I felt crushed but tried to accept it wasn’t for me.

Then one day, a shop clerk admired my bag and urged me to ask the market office directly. Terrified but curious, I went and learned I’d been accepted all along. Their email had a typo. I was speechless, incredibly relieved, and proud of myself for having the courage to inquire.

The Pressure to Expect More

It’s not all in our heads. society feeds our expectations. Social media, advertising, movies, and television all show us picture-perfect lives. We start to believe our own lives should look the same and be exciting, polished, endlessly happy.

This comparison game is exhausting. And it’s intentional. Companies profit from our insecurities. If we feel we’re missing something, we’re more likely to buy something to “fix” it, like a new outfit, a new cream, or a new gadget.

Now, with artificial intelligence personalizing every ad and recommendation, the pressure has become even stronger. Suddenly, our inboxes and screens are filled with products that seem to “know” exactly what we need. It’s unsettling, as if someone out there really does know what’s best for us. The more we absorb these messages, the more warped our expectations become.

We start expecting our lives to match a digital fantasy, forgetting that real life is messy, unpredictable, and wonderfully imperfect.

How We Can Try Escaping the Trap

We can try to escape the pull of negative anticipation by focusing on and observing our expectations, as follows:

1. Notice when you stop looking forward to something and start dreading it.
2. Ask whether your dread comes from your own reality or from outside influences.
3. Reassess if your worry based on facts, or is it fear of being disappointed?
4. Shift your thinking from “what if” to “maybe” or “maybe not.” A little flexibility can ease the pressure and restore balance.

These small changes help us step back from overthinking. When we release the need to control the future, we open ourselves to the possibility that things might unfold better. Or at least differently than we imagined.

Anticipation doesn’t have to disappear; it just needs to soften. When we stop judging every future event by how it should be, we can focus more on what is.

We don’t need to be perfect, not as friends, parents, grandparents, or partners. The next event doesn’t have to be life changing. It all simply needs to be real. “What will be, will be.”

And when things start to spiral or expectations take over, I remind myself to pause, and to breathe.

When things start to get out of control, and expectations take over, I always say, hug a cat. For those without a cat, I mean be in the here and now, in the present moment and things will fall into place.

As for tomorrow and the future, let it unfold on its own.

Click for free access to my Substack, Retired Way Out There, where I publish a bi-monthly newsletter and offer free handouts.

Also read, Anticipation: The Bright Side of Looking Forward

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How often do you find yourself dreading a future event, meeting, relationship or something else? What is the reason for this negative anticipation?

Women enter their 60s with wisdom gained through years of experience. Yet goal setting can still feel surprisingly frustrating. We may begin the year with good intentions but lose momentum. Or we avoid setting goals altogether because they’ve never truly worked for us.

This struggle is more common than you think. And it isn’t because you lack discipline or motivation. Instead, it’s because most traditional goal-setting advice wasn’t designed with your life, your responsibilities, and your values in mind.

The good news is that when your goals are aligned with what genuinely matters to you, they become easier to pursue and far more satisfying to achieve.

Why Traditional Goal Setting Falls Short for Women in Their 60s and Beyond

Many goal-setting models are built around ideas like “push harder,” “do more,” and “never miss a day.” Those rigid approaches rarely hold up.

Research shows that older adults are significantly more successful when their goals match their current life stage, personal values, and available energy. When goals are misaligned, motivation drops quickly and follow-through becomes difficult.

Other common barriers include:

• Navigating fluctuating energy or health.
• Managing caregiving roles.
• Adjusting to retirement or shifting identity.
• Feeling overwhelmed by “all-or-nothing” goal culture.
• Prioritizing responsibilities that crowd out personal needs.

But the most important reason: traditional models focus on achievement, not alignment.

They encourage people to choose goals they think they “should” pursue rather than goals that feel meaningful and energizing. Without a meaningful connection, the brain simply doesn’t stay engaged long-term. Research contrasting intrinsic (e.g., growth, relationships, community) with extrinsic (e.g., image, money, fame) goal contents found that extrinsic goal pursuit was linked to lower wellbeing, whereas intrinsic goal pursuit was associated with higher wellness and better psychological outcomes.

In other words: Goals are more likely to stick when they genuinely matter to you.

The Key Ingredient: Goals That Matter to You

Women over 60 thrive when their goals reflect their values, priorities, and desired quality of life. When your goals feel personally meaningful, they become easier to return to, even after an off-week or a setback.

Meaningful goals tend to be:

• Rooted in personal values.
• Aligned with the life you want now, not the life you had 10 years ago.
• Flexible enough to adapt to your needs.
• Based on contribution, purpose, connection, or wellbeing.
• Energizing rather than draining.

The shift is powerful. To achieve your goals, you don’t have to do more or reinvent your life. What you need to do is choose goals that feel “right” for where you are today.

How to Set Goals That Stick in Your 60s and Beyond

Below are five practical steps that make goal-setting more sustainable, grounded, and enjoyable.

1. Name What Matters Most to You Right Now

Clear goals begin with clear priorities. Ask yourself:

• “What do I want my life to feel like in the next season?”
• “What do I want more of?”
• “What do I want less of?”

Your answers might include strength, mobility, energy, connection, calm, joy, or adventure. Use these as anchors.

2. Connect Each Goal to Your Personal “Why”

Ask yourself: Why does this matter to me at this stage of my life?

Your answer should feel personal and important to you.

Your “why” is your built-in fuel source.

For example:

• “I want to walk daily so I can keep traveling with confidence.”
• “I want to build strength so I can maintain independence.”
• “I want better sleep so I have energy to enjoy outings with my friends.”

Your goal becomes meaningful the moment you tie it to your life. Older adults experience greater wellbeing when they set goals that reflect identity and purpose rather than productivity.

3. Choose Goals That Support the Life You Want

Instead of “lose weight,” try:

• “I want to move with more ease.”
• “I want to feel stronger during daily tasks.”
• “I want to “have the stamina to travel or garden.”

These outcomes create emotional resonance, which is what drives motivation.

4. Make Your Goals Manageable

Small steps are a strategy that will help you achieve your goals.

Research finds that small, achievable actions create rapid momentum because they activate the brain’s reward circuitry. Examples:

• Five-minute walks.
• Short chair mobility routines.
• One weekly strength session
• Two nights a week of prioritized sleep.

Small steps lead to big changes when done consistently.

5. Choose a Structure That Supports You

This is often the missing piece. Goals thrive when there’s a simple system that helps you:

• Stay clear.
• Stay encouraged.
• Stay accountable.
• Stay adaptable.

You don’t need a complicated planner or a perfection-first mindset. A realistic weekly rhythm works far better.

Give Yourself Permission to Adjust

Your goals should shift with your season of life. Older adults who regularly reassess and adjust their goals sustain progress far longer than those who stick to rigid, outdated expectations.

If you’d like to learn more about how goals can add life to your years and years to your life, please read my Wellgevity Warrior blog post: Stop the December Scramble and Start 2026 Energized and Empowered.

If you’re ready to design goals that truly stick, I’m teaching a 90-minute online masterclass called The Wellgevity Warrior Design Your December and Start 2026 Aligned and Empowered 90-Minute POWER Goal-Setting Masterclass.

It uses a proven P.O.W.E.R. goal-setting framework, which goes beyond traditional methods and helps you create goals that are personal, meaningful, energizing, and realistic for your current stage of life. It’s not another “work harder” system. It’s a thoughtful, practical approach that supports women who want clarity and confidence going into the holidays and the new year. For more information, CLICK HERE.

Your Thoughts:

Which meaningful area of life do you want to nurture this season: health, purpose, creativity, connection, or something else? What small step could you commit to this week that supports the life you want now?