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These deals are music to our ears.

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The fashion expert curated a collection of holiday looks with Express.

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Hello, dear readers!

Christmas is nearly here!

How quickly the years go by these days. It feels like I get past one Christmas only to find the next one around the corner.

You may have realised that Christmas is no longer my favourite time of year. I have, in fact come to the point where I find it extremely stressful.

Childhood Christmases

As a child I had little expectation of lots of presents under the tree. Santa would come and leave a stocking with some fruit, a few sweets and probably some socks. Under the tree would be a present for each of us (I have 2 sisters and a brother) which we cherished.

The rest of the festivities would be about seeing family, going to Christmas mass on Christmas eve, putting up lights and the tree which was very traditional in our family. The tree went up on Christmas eve and came down 12 days later. We would have visits from friends and family and my Mum would cook an amazing Christmas dinner followed by left over with bubble and squeak on boxing day.

Our Parenthood Christmases

Even when my children were growing up, money was tight and there was no expectation that Father Christmas would leave them hoards of gifts. They always chose something that would be valued and looked after because it meant a lot to them. We would have an open house where anyone could visit and believe me, many came with food and drink for all. It wasn’t lavish but it was really enjoyable.

Christmas Nowadays

These days I feel like the meaning of Christmas has been lost amongst the frenzy to buy the latest gadget, toy or computer game on the market. I was chatting to someone with small children the other day and she shared her son wants 3 presents which are going to cost in the region of £1000.00.

Her daughter wanted presents that were more in number but not as expensive, but she felt she needed to buy more for her son as he wouldn’t have as many gifts to open. He is 10 years old. I was flabbergasted!

This while there are children and families suffering hardship.

My Own Christmas Thoughts

As I sit here wondering what to get my Grandchildren for Christmas, I wonder how many will not pay bills or amass enormous credit card debt in order to buy their child a good Christmas.

Christmas should be a time to reflect on how lucky we are to have the things that matter – family and friends that love us, a roof over our head and food on the table. It seems we have commercialized Christmas to the point where it has lost much of its meaning.

That being said, I still have fun and enjoy my time with my family who don’t have the opportunity to get together very often.

Whatever you are doing I wish you a Very Happy Christmas and a healthy and happy 2025!

Linda

Let’s Reflect:

What do you remember of your childhood Christmases? How have things changed through the years? How do you celebrate Christmas these days? Do you enter a shopping frenzy for children and grandchildren?

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You’ll get major brownie points for any of these.

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History was made in the finale.

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January: the Olympics of “new year, new me” chaos, is coming in hot, even in the dating world. And guess what? You’ve got two weeks to plan your winning strategy.

Wait… who am I kidding? The race already started, and you’re jogging in place with a cookie in hand.

Yes, enjoy the holidays – stuff your face (I already had a piece of homemade fudge this morning…), hug your family, spoil the grandkids, and crush it at the ugly sweater party. But consider this the perfect *undercover* opportunity to get ahead.

You can deck the halls *and* draft your game plan. Multitasking? That’s just holiday spirit with ambition.

One thing is for sure, this is a great time to take more photos so we can freshen you up! So, let’s get you prepped for January fun. Click here.

1. Reflect on What You Want

Define your goals: Are you looking for a serious relationship, casual dating, or friendship?

List your deal-breakers: Know what qualities are must-haves or no-go’s.

Clarify your values: Identify what matters most to you – shared hobbies, similar life goals, or specific traits like kindness or ambition.

2. Don’t Catfish Yourself

Show up as you. That filtered, 2018 vacation photo? It’s a no. Confidence is hotter than Photoshop.

3. Snap Pics That Pop

It’s time for your glow-up! Plan a photoshoot or dig into your gallery for photos that scream, “I’m fun, approachable, and have a life.” Include a mix:

• The “Look, I’m cute!” shot
• The “I do cool things like photography” shot
• The “Dogs love me, and you should too” shot

No bathroom selfies – unless your mirror can teleport. Or fish.

And December is your iPhone opp month – no matter what you are doing – snap those baking with the kids, attending a holiday party, celebrating New Year’s Eve – you and I will have lots of photos to choose from the first week of January!

4. Bio = Bragging, But Make It Fun

Your bio should be like your favorite dessert: sweet, memorable, and impossible to resist. Sprinkle in humor, like:

• “Fluent in movie quotes and fluent-ish in cooking (ask my smoke detector).”
• “I’ll show you the world – through my camera lens.”

Leave a little mystery – because nobody likes a spoiler.

5. Sharpen Your Icebreaker Game

Ditch the generic, “Hey, what’s up?” Instead, prep fun starters like:

• “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever Googled?”
• “Best gift you got for Christmas? Mine was……”

Remember, wit wins hearts.

6. Timing Is Everything

Don’t rush. The right match might be a few swipes away – or might take a month. Stay patient and have fun!

7. Channel Main-Character Energy

Glow up season starts now!

Try a new look, treat yourself to a self-care routine, and remind yourself: you’re the total package. Confidence (without arrogance) is your secret weapon – so is the fact you love dogs. That’s always a bonus.

Come January, you’ll be swiping with style, confidence, and an “I’ve got this” smile. Let the games begin!

Questions:

What new dating strategies are you going to try in 2025? Now that much verification is done online and ghosting is at all time lows, are you willing to give online dating another chance? Do you think you are too old for a partner? (Hint: I just had an 85-year-old man re-marry, and I went to his wedding!)

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Jane Fonda caught my attention the other day. It was not because she is a beautiful successful woman, which she is.

And no, I didn’t meet her in person. That would have been nice, but that didn’t happen.

I saw her on television, doing a segment on the CBS Sunday Morning show (December 1, 2024) on healthy aging. She talked about how positive views of aging can help us live longer and healthier. Maybe she read the earlier post I wrote about these ideas. Not likely, but I remain ever hopeful.

Thriving at 86, Jane Fonda is definitely an expert and lives the example she sets for others. I always admire people who do more than talk. She walks the walk and does the work. And it has paid off for her.

A Long and Distinguished Career

Jane Seymour Fonda is a well-known American actress and activist. Over six decades of work in film, television and theatre, she has earned two Academy Awards, two British Academy Film Awards, seven Golden Globe Awards and a Primetime Emmy Award, in addition to Grammy and Tony Award nominations.

Plus, she has earned four lifetime achievement awards. And this is only part of her large body of work and accomplishment.

Jane Fonda is not done yet. It doesn’t even seem like she is slowing down.

So how does she do it?

5 Ways That Help Jane Fonda Thrive

The Third Act, New Beginnings

In her mid-70s, Fonda gave a stirring talk at TEDX Women (2012). She described her “third act” as the last three decades of life. She emphasized that this period can be a time of growth, self-discovery, and increased well-being.

Just two years ago, she finished up seven seasons of the Netflix series Grace and Frankie in the lead role of Grace. After that, she starred in three films.

With this concept of the third act, Fonda challenges the traditional view of aging as decline and instead presents it as a unique opportunity for personal growth, self-reflection, and positive societal impact. This is how she approaches her later years.

Positive Views on Aging

As noted above, Jane Fonda did a segment on CBS Sunday Morning and was joined by anti-ageism advocate Ashton Applewhite. They discussed a Yale study showing that older people with more positive beliefs about aging lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those who associated aging with disease and decline. (You can find more about the study here.)

Fonda works hard to see and bring about positive views about herself, even into her 80s. In her talks, she fights against negative stereotypes portrayed in the media. She is also careful not to internalize such negative views. Applying these erroneous ideas to ourselves can sometimes lead to the most harm.

Continuous Learning

Jane Fonda suggests that we keep learning as a way to improve our physical and mental health. Most importantly, she suggests that we keep learning about ourselves and our past and present relationships.

Fonda suggests that the task of the third act is to “finish up the task of finishing ourselves” by reviewing our lives, gaining new perspectives on past experiences, and potentially changing our relationship with the past.

In her own life, she works hard to stop blaming herself for events from the past, including sexual assaults and toxic relationships.

Caring About Women and the World

Jane Fonda cares and does whatever she can to help. Throughout her life, she has been actively fighting injustices wherever she sees them. She never hesitates to speak up, even now.

In her 60s, along with Robin Morgan and Gloria Steinem, she co-founded the Women’s Media Center. This organization works to amplify the voices of women in the media through advocacy, media and leadership training, and the creation of original content.

Fonda believes that older women are the largest demographic in the world. Older women can learn to embrace this opportunity for self-discovery, learning, and positive change and can provide an example for younger generations. And keep themselves feeling younger at the same time.

Embrace a Growth Mindset

Jane Fonda’s growth mindset is one of her superpowers. She believes that adopting a growth mindset is crucial for personal development in the third act (and all throughout life). This way of seeing yourself and the world involves:

• Believing in your ability to learn and grow at any age.
• Viewing challenges as opportunities for learning rather than obstacles.
• Embracing the idea that your skills and abilities can be developed through effort and persistence, even later in life.

She has had many setbacks and hardships in her life. But she keeps going.

An Important insight

In her 40s, Fonda was dreading getting old. But once in her 50s and now in her 80s, she has never been happier. She experiences a powerful feeling of well-being in her third act.

She notes that being inside “oldness” reduces fear, and one realizes they are still themselves, perhaps even more so.

I think it is important to keep moving physically, mentally and emotionally. Jane Fonda has done some incredible things well into her 80s. But, as Michelle Obama has said, “You don’t always have to go big.”

The little ways to help one another can be just as meaningful.

Let’s Start a Conversation:

Can you think of how Jane Fonda’s ideas might help in your life? Are you making sure that you don’t buy into any negative views you see around you? Are you being careful not to limit yourself when there is no need to?

Editor’s Note: Top image by Ted Eytan – 2019.12.06 Fire Drill Fridays, Washington, DC USA 340 60031, CC BY-SA 2.0, Link.

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As women over 60 embrace their golden years, there’s no reason their style shouldn’t remain as bold and vibrant as ever. A spiky haircut can be an ideal way to reflect confidence, individuality, and a dash of edginess. These styles offer volume, texture, and modern flair, while still being easy to maintain.

Spiky Haircuts for Mature Women

Here are seven fantastic spiky haircut ideas that are perfect for women over 60.

The Classic Pixie with Spikes

For women who love a short, manageable cut, the classic pixie with spikes adds a playful twist. This cut keeps the hair short on the sides and back while leaving enough length on top to spike it up for texture. Whether you go for subtle spikes or a bolder look, this style frames the face beautifully, giving you a fresh, youthful appearance.

Perfect for: Women who want a low-maintenance style with a bit of personality.

Soft Spikes with Volume

For a softer take on the spiky look, this haircut incorporates gentle spikes that add volume without being too sharp or edgy. The spikes are styled in a way that looks natural and relaxed, blending effortlessly into the rest of the hair. This is an excellent option if you’re looking for something chic but understated.

Perfect for: Women who prefer a more casual and relaxed hairstyle with some lift.

The Tousled Spiky Crop

If you like a little more texture, the tousled spiky crop is a fantastic option. This cut is slightly longer on top, allowing for a tousled, messy look with spiky tips. It’s fun and modern and adds a carefree vibe to your overall appearance. The messy spikes can be styled to create a sense of volume and movement.

Perfect for: Women who like a playful, carefree hairstyle that still looks polished.

Textured Spiky Bob

A spiky bob combines the classic bob cut with spiky tips to give your hairstyle an updated edge. The hair is kept longer than a traditional spiky cut, giving you more styling options while still adding the volume and texture that spikes provide. The longer layers allow for a softer, more versatile look.

Perfect for: Women who want a medium-length haircut with both sophistication and edge.

Short Spikes with an Undercut

For the bold and adventurous, a short spiky cut with an undercut is a striking option. The hair is cut very close to the scalp on the sides and back, while the top remains longer for spiking. This dramatic contrast creates a dynamic, fashion-forward look that’s perfect for women who want to make a statement.

Perfect for: Women who aren’t afraid to try something daring and modern.

Curly Spikes

For women with naturally curly hair, spiky styles are just as achievable. Curly spikes offer a textured, voluminous look that’s full of personality. By keeping the hair shorter and spiking up the curls, you create a look that’s both fun and fashionable while embracing your natural texture.

Perfect for: Women with curly hair who want a spiky cut that complements their natural waves.

Silver Spiky Pixie

Embrace your silver hair with a spiky pixie cut that lets your natural color shine. The short, spiky style adds texture and volume, creating a youthful, vibrant look. Silver hair adds an extra touch of elegance to the spikes, giving you a modern, stylish appearance that’s easy to maintain.

Perfect for: Women who want to embrace their silver hair while rocking a modern, edgy cut.

Recommended Products for Spiky Hairstyles

To maintain a spiky hairstyle, it’s important to use the right products that provide hold, texture, and shine while being gentle on aging hair. Here are some top recommendations to help keep your spikes looking fresh and stylish:

Texturizing Spray

A good texturizing spray can add volume and definition to your spikes without weighing them down. Look for lightweight formulas that provide hold without making your hair feel sticky or stiff.

Recommended Product: 

Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray 

This cult-favorite spray absorbs oil at the roots while adding texture and lift to your spikes, keeping them fresh throughout the day.

Strong Hold Gel or Paste

For short spiky styles, a strong hold gel or paste will help shape and define your hair. Choose one that doesn’t flake and is easy to wash out.

Recommended Product:

TIGI Bed Head Manipulator Gel

This paste offers powerful hold and a matte finish, perfect for creating defined spikes with a firm yet flexible feel.

Pomade or Wax

Pomades and waxes are excellent for creating textured spikes that have a slightly tousled look. They provide hold with a bit of shine, giving your style a more polished finish.

Recommended Product:

American Crew Fiber

This fiber-like wax offers high hold and low shine, making it ideal for women who want their spikes to look natural yet styled.

Volumizing Mousse

If your spiky hairstyle requires volume, a volumizing mousse can help lift the hair at the roots and add body without making it crunchy.

Recommended Product:

Kenra Volume Mousse Extra 17

This lightweight mousse adds volume and fullness while offering long-lasting hold for spiky styles that need extra oomph.

Finishing Hairspray

To lock your spiky hairstyle in place, a finishing hairspray with strong hold is essential. Look for sprays that add shine and resist humidity.

Recommended Product:

L’Oréal Paris Elnett Satin Extra Strong Hold Hairspray

Known for its ultra-fine mist, this hairspray holds styles in place without stiffness and brushes out easily for restyling.

By using the right products, you can ensure that your spiky hairstyle stays bold, fresh, and full of life, regardless of the style you choose. These essentials will help you maintain texture, hold, and volume while keeping your hair healthy and stylish at any age.

Confidence Is the Best Style Accessory

Spiky haircuts are a fun and modern way to express your individuality. They’re versatile enough to suit any face shape or hair texture and can be tailored to your personal style, whether you want something bold or more relaxed. The key to making any spiky haircut work is confidence, and as a woman over 60, you’ve earned that confidence in spades.

Read Best Hairstyles for Women Over 70.

Also, read 60 Best Haircuts and Hairstyles for Women Over 60.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you like spiky hairstyles? What products do you prefer to achieve your spiky look? Tell us about it in the comments below.

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Get ready to retire your leggings.

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Do you think that a person can be cool after 70? Well, I do! It’s all about attitude. Getting older doesn’t mean you can’t be cool.

When Did We Stop Being Cool?

In our 50s, everything starts to change. Many of us start to think, “Nobody’s going to care what I say anymore, because they’ll think I’m just an old lady.”

Then, in our 60s, we find that our bodies can’t do the things they used to do. In addition, we start to see changes in our skin, hair and nails. Most of these changes, we really don’t like.

I’ve always been an upbeat, happy person, but I have to admit that these things are starting to pull me down. When I started thinking about this, I conducted research on the Internet.

As I did, I found out that other women are going through the same things as me. It’s amazing to read other people’s stories and find that they are going through the same things as you.

Being Cool Is About Enjoying Life and Embracing Everything It Has to Offer

As we age, we worry about every little ache and pain. I’m not denying that parts of the aging process are tough. That said, you have a choice. You can either cry or push through it. Lamaze works for childbirth. Having a positive attitude can counter arthritis and other problems in the same way.

Way too many people over 60 give in to the pain and end up living stagnant lives. They forget to smile and become complainers. Many of these people used to love to dance. They loved life.

What Is Stopping You Now?

It’s a known fact that many older people take up dancing to stay active. Actually, it’s not just about staying active. Dancing helps you to stay social and gives you a reason to wake up in the morning.

I miss dancing (my hubby doesn’t dance) but I sure have fun in my kitchen. You know what they say about dancing when no-body else is watching.

Being in your 60s or 70s is amazing. You can dress the way you want and do what you want.

Don’t want to wear light blue to go with your hair? Wear red! Make a statement!

Want to try a different hair color? Why not try green, pink, or bright blue? It’s not just for young people, after all.

Personally, I like to use blue nail polish. There are so many wonderful colors out there now. Why not give them a try? Just because we are older?

I’m Cool, How About You?

Getting older sucks, but, if we’re lucky, we have another 10, 20, or 30 years ahead of us. We can look at this time as a new adventure – a beginning of a new life. We can be cool! This next phase won’t be the same as our old life, but, that doesn’t mean it can’t be better!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you think it means to be cool in your 60s or 70s? What do you want to do with your life in the decades ahead? Please join the conversation.

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I’ve been keeping a running list of technology fails recently. There are events on a smaller scale such as our iPhone connected deck lights going on every time there is a change in weather, or the frustration of jazz music blaring out of my smart speaker when my classical music app unexpectedly switches to its sister station.

But no minor inconvenience comes close to the almost three years of trauma I’ve endured with my car’s audio/GPS system. I will not reveal the manufacturer’s name, but it has been involved in many lawsuits because its unexpected black screen of the GPS feature has left outdoor enthusiasts stranded in unsavory locations.

After the dealership had me log page after page of failures of this system to operate properly, I finally received a replacement. It is about 90% functional, but still challenging when you need driving directions or want to hear a tune.

Why Do We Think Technology Should Work Perfectly?

I believe we have all been spoiled. Most of us use Apple devices and services from Amazon. I am not exaggerating when I say, I have never had trouble with my phone or computer until it was at the end of its lifespan. Tablets occasionally get a little wonky, but they are only asking for a monthly reboot.

Items ordered from Amazon come as expected on the date clearly announced. Only human preferences require returns. Amazon, after all, did its part. Amazon Prime Video works beautifully night after night as we stream our favorites.

Another of my favorite platforms is Epic’s My Chart, a medical website which seamlessly connects me to my providers, allowing appointments to be made, test results to be viewed (sometimes the same day!) and makes communication with doctors a snap.

Successful Technology Is No Accident

The platforms which work effortlessly have been created by hard driving techno-bosses. (Try reading Walter Isaacson’s books Steve Jobs and Elon Musk). The result is what is described as a “highly integrated ecosystem,” which means the hardware and software speak to each other.

There are constant updates and new features driven by technology’s latest trends. The systems are “user-centric,” because engineers are observing and prioritizing consumers, rather than their algorithms. They are a study in effective design, quality control and continuous development.

When Technology Goes Awry

Shockingly, outside those major platforms, the consumer software failure rate is 66%. In other words, most of the software from companies other than those at the top of the mountain, is only successful about one third of the time.

Luckily, there is an organization which produces a “chaos report” or Comprehensive Human Appraisal for Originating Software every two years. The Standish Group has been at it since 1994. Its purpose is to estimate the number of software projects that ended successfully, and to analyze affecting human factors.

I’m guessing when I used an app to pick up items in a designated parking spot outside a store and there was no designated spot, the app developers were in that disgraceful 66%. I’m also making an educated guess when the only way to install a new modem in my home was to use my cell phone, and my cell phone wouldn’t work without a modem, those developers were also members of the infamous 66%.

Software Failures with Global Consequences

We are all aware of the annoying everyday failures in our own lives, but poor software development and management has had worldwide implications. In 2016, The popular Nest thermostat experienced a battery drain caused by a software glitch, which dropped temperatures in homes to frigid levels.

In July 2024, a faulty update on CloudStrike caused 8.5 million computers running on Microsoft Windows to fail globally, causing disruptions in flights, government services, healthcare, the stock market and retail operations. Of course, the most famous incidents resulting in lost lives are the 2018 and 2019 Boeing crashes, caused by faulty flight control software.

Although tech failures are primarily business issues, resulting in losses of up to 2.4 trillion dollars and which affect 71% of global businesses, consumers should educate themselves in order to adjust their expectations.

Software Failures Are Inevitable Without Extraordinary Resources

Although there are limitless applications for technology in modern life, the reasons software fails are fairly common. Human factors which influence software success might include incompatible teams, pressure to complete a project within an unrealistic deadline, and inexperience of the designers. There can also be a mismatch from the beginning between the developer and the understanding of the business and its needs.

Technical reasons for failure include insufficient testing, data issues, coding errors, security vulnerabilities, design errors, and performance issues, such as speed and responsiveness, which are not rectified. Most importantly, resources need to be designated for constant updating through user feedback.

How to Avoid Technology Suffering

Besides enthusiastically patronizing businesses with stellar technology, consumers need to be more realistic about their expectations online. Developing patience and labeling the situation, such as “here we go again,” instead of raising the intensity is in order. Taking a break and leaning on past experience will help the consumer activate some realistic options.

Contacting technical support, restarting the device, exploring other options, and providing feedback through online forums will all link the user experience to the software technicians, resulting in better experiences for future consumers. As for my car audio/GPS system? Patience has taught me to calmly wait until the system fully loads before expecting perfect results in my very wooded area.

Please Join the Conversation:

What type of technology issues are most frustrating to you? Have you developed any coping strategies?

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Look at all the Christmas wreaths and garlands you can make! This was the response from a friend when I sent her a picture of the 60-foot pine tree laying across the truck I bought last year. The truck was crushed.

That fine morning, I was in a place in my emotional life where so much had happened in six months that I stared at this scene as if I was watching it from far above, like God’s perch. While this detachment has served me over a lifetime of karmic meteors, I’ve been feeling the walls cracking on my icy emotional exterior. And not in a good way.

I have approached disasters and trauma with grit and resilience and a fair dose of spiritual perspective, as I try to make sense of luck and life. Yet, I’m having a hard time dealing with my hand of cards.

Playing Poker

Life is not like a box of chocolates; it is a poker game and if you are lucky, and I sincerely mean that, lucky, you are dealt a decent hand, one that perhaps only has one or two life traumas and not a bucketful. The average traumas per person is 3 per lifetime. Some people have less, and sometimes, they rain down like sleet.

When I was editor of a journal, I remember seeing a photo of a woman who had lost all her children to a landmine explosion. Her haunted expression still fills my heart to this day, and I carry her with me as I do the people of all war-torn regions.

On the other extreme, I have known people whose lives are like a Ralph Lauren advertisement. With my nose pressed to the window, I watch and go WOW, in envy, awe and amazement sure that it can not be true, but it is – parties, college football games, cleaning lady problems, can they fit in three vacations…

My Cards, Your Cards and Everyone’s Cards

From my observations, I am amazed how I and my fellow humans play their hands of cards. I have walked paths with the very rich, the destitute and all manner of people in between on many corners of the globe. And, after a recent week of sobbing, I finally had a small epiphany.

Many people who have been blessed with Kings, Queens and Aces, occasionally seem indifferent to suffering, unless it directly affects them or, perhaps, they send a check to a worthy cause. I have also found there are people who can feel the suffering of others, and simply act. Many times, it seems, it comes from people whose cards contain no Kings or Queens.

Angels or Human Beings?

In a remote town in India, an old woman came up to me and just wrapped me in her arms and pulled me to her heart. Once, on a plane, a Polish woman who had been sitting behind me, grabbed my face, patted it with love, and looked me in the eyes. On an island off Jamaica, a beautiful woman came up to me and gave me a necklace with blue stones, my favorite color, and she smiled and walked away.

I have had friends call or text out of the blue when I have had a disaster, despite having told no one.

A doctor, who had been treating me for E. Coli, drove to my remote farm when I was all alone, had no insurance and was very, very sick. Another time, a UPS driver, who had delivered many packages to that remote farm, stopped by to check on me when I got out of the hospital for a heart pneumomediastinum.

When my house caught fire, the first friends to show up brought me an old, but working refrigerator. They were recipients of social services. On the other hand, I had friends tell me about paint colors for their house, their ingrown toenail, or just “that sucks” when seeing the crushed truck. But, there were a few, a very few who said, “What can I do to help?”

This year, one of my favorite people moved to stage three Alzheimer’s. My sister, my only family member, died, a week before I was scheduled to visit her in Italy. A horse, who I only was able to purchase after a horrible car accident and brain injury, got very, very sick and still has not recovered.

My son was hospitalized suddenly after an intense illness, and I spent a month caring for him and sleeping one hour a night. Then the Christmas tree fell on my truck. That day, I needed support, and was looking forward to seeing a group of longtime friends for dinner.

My Emotional Migraine and an Epiphany Aneurysm

Despite the cold, rain and exhaustion, I showered and left the house for dinner because I knew it was good for my self-care. I live the furthest away, so I had been in the car for almost an hour when I got a call from one of my friends asking where I was.

“I’m about a half hour away. We’re meeting at 6, right?”

It seems there had been a side text chat, not one I was a member of, where dinner had been canceled. If one of the group had not called, I would have walked into an empty restaurant after a 90 minute drive, on the day a tree crushed my truck, in a year of one too many Ace of Spades.

I started sobbing so bad, I had to pull over. This slight broke me. I sobbed all night, for everything, every card I had been dealt since I drew breath until I realized something important.

What Can Ya Do?

Be a giver. Be the most humanist of human beings that you can. Invite people who are alone to dinner, or at the very least bring them cupcakes. Visit the neighbor who is in hospice – it does not matter that you don’t know them well. That women in India did not know me.

If you have the time, stop when someone is broken down on the side of the road. Reach out, even if it is only a text, to someone who is going through challenges, and especially a friend. Be aware of others and especially send that text when they are driving 90 minutes to see you. Be the light, especially when it is the dark Winter Solstice in someone’s life.

Despite not wanting to get out of bed lately, I brought dinner to my neighbor, sent flowers to a friend who got out of the hospital, talked to a friend whose heart was heavy, helped another neighbor repair a fence, visited the neighbor in hospice. Why? Because I know pain, and I try, despite my many failings, to be a human being. I went a mile beyond “that sucks” one step beyond, “what can I do to help? and showed up.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you think it is hard to give unconditionally? Can you share a moment when someone gave to you, and it broke your heart – in a good way? How do you deal with the cards that you have been dealt?

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