Month: April 2025

It’s been said that inspiration is what pulls you forward, generates enthusiasm and excitement, while motivation is what pushes you forward and kicks you in the butt to get you going in a certain direction. Inspiration is much more fun. It’s what drives ball players to be great, whether they are 12 or 22, artists to spend endless hours perfecting their art, and animal lovers to engage with their bestie-beasties in so many happy ways.

How Inspiration Works

Inspiration is loaded with long-term purpose and meaning, which takes precedence over whatever effort may be involved. Motivation is often short-term and takes us from task to task. This is fine and certainly necessary, but without a sense of the overall meaning that an activity has in our lives, we can lose ourselves in rote repetition and boredom.

And, just as importantly, we are depriving ourselves of blessed, happy longevity. According to numerous studies, a sense of purpose and meaning is what contributes most to our longevity, certainly to the happiness enjoyed in later years.

Find Your Joy

So, how do you get there? It’s not as complicated as one might think. Just go towards what gives you joy. Joy is a much deeper emotion than happiness. Happiness is great, but it is fleeting, and often dependent on outside conditions (like eating ice cream or watching a good movie). Joy relates to one’s inner life, with purpose, meaning and with living what is authentically you.

Take Cathy Gallagher, for example, who at 83, is doing what inspires her, what gives purpose and meaning to her life – teaching. This matters, because, although Cathy had taught grade school children for three decades (both in the U.S. and then in British Columbia), she was subjected to mandatory retirement when she turned 65, which was required in British Columbia at the time.

Cathy, whose grade-school students were her greatest joy, did not find a sense of purpose or meaning in retirement. Much to her surprise and delight, mandatory retirement was eventually “retired,” and with that Cathy, then 73, could return to teaching. Now, 10 years later, Cathy is still teaching, loving it, and is reputed to be the oldest active certified teacher in British Columbia.

What Inspires You?

For me, it’s competitive ballroom dancing, a passion I share with many my age (77) and older on the competitive floor. For you, it could be anything from growing roses to tutoring children to inventing something – whatever lifts your spirit and makes your heart sing.

The important thing is not to let age stop you from engaging in that which inspires you. There is no age limit on creativity or enthusiasm. Even physical limitations are not real limitations. Did you know there are ballroom competitions for wheelchair-bound dancers? There are all sorts of ways that you can find purpose, meaning and the rewards of happy longevity, regardless of any physical issues. All you need to do is start dreaming and imagining.

Need help? See what others are doing for ideas on what might light that fire within you.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What fills your life with a sense of purpose and meaning? Did you find your inspiration and purpose later in life? If so, how and what was it?

We’ve learned to be wary of many social assumptions over the years.

Never assume:

• A woman’s age
• Marital status
• Whether she’s pregnant if there’s ANY possibility she’s not

are just a few.

The assumptions you should avoid may change a bit as you age, but they still exist. And as the years go on, we can add another big one to be cautious of – the assumption that a woman in her 60s has grandchildren.

Although many women in this age range do have grandchildren, some don’t, and the assumption, however well-intentioned, can be hurtful.

I’m not one for tiptoeing around every social landmine that seems to exist these days. If we all did that, we’d never talk to each other. But there are times when being cognizant that your life’s pathway may not be the same as someone else’s is highly appropriate. And whether a woman is a grandmother is one of them.

Here’s why.

Why Assuming All Women Over a “Certain Age” Are Grandmother’s Can Be Insensitive

Becoming a grandparent has been considered a natural milestone in later life for generations.

Women had children in their 20s or 30s, then by the time they reached their 60s, their children had children, and they became Grandmas, Nanas, Babas, or Memaws.

This expectation is still reflected in many interactions today.

When people meet a 60-something woman, they often begin with questions such as, “How many grandkids do you have?”

Even marketing materials for retirement communities often depict joyful grandparents surrounded by children.

While these scenarios may seem harmless, they carry a clear message: If you’re not a grandparent, you’re an exception and different.

This means women without grandchildren often find themselves in awkward conversations where they must either explain their situation or deflect uncomfortable questions.

Asking a woman about her grandkids without knowing whether she has any is almost certainly an attempt to create a connection or promote conversation.

But that premise does several things.

Assumes Life Choices

Many women made a point of choosing not to have children. Perhaps they decided never to marry either. Whatever the case, having children, the most direct path to having grandchildren, may not have been every woman’s life choice.

Reflects Opinions About Age

It’s not at all uncommon for women to have children later in life these days. Many women with young children or teens would have once upon a time been grandparents at their current age.

A woman who has kids who are nowhere near ready to have their own children may feel like the assumption she’s a grandmother is insulting.

And, unless you’re sure of a woman’s age, it’s also worth noting that not all women age the same way. So, in the same way, you want to tread lightly when you think a woman’s pregnant, you should also do so when making assumptions about other age-related benchmarks.

Can Trigger Grief

Some women may have made a choice not to have children, but others may not have had a choice at all.

For the women who were unable to have children, lost a child, or are estranged from family, well-meaning questions regarding grandchildren can open up old wounds.

May Diminish Other Achievements

There are many women who consider their families their greatest achievement. But for a woman who’s worked for years to succeed in other areas, making grandparenthood the hallmark of success can feel dismissive.

Others may feel frustrated that their identity is reduced to their ability to reproduce rather than their accomplishments, passions, and relationships beyond family.

It Can Create Social Isolation

For a woman who doesn’t have grandkids for whatever reason, the assumption that she’s a grandmother when she’s not can leave her feeling like an outsider. These women might also find it challenging to connect with peers who bond over stories of new babies and grandma names and duties.

This not only may lead feelings of alienation, but it might also mean you never get to know a potential best friend.

So, Talking About Being a Grandparent Is Taboo Now?

No! Not in the slightest!

Being a grandparent is terrific for most, and there’s no reason to avoid the topic altogether. We should just consider shifting the way we engage with women in the middle years and up, especially if we’re engaging with someone new.

What do I mean?

Consider the following suggestions:

Vary Your Approach to Conversations

When speaking with someone for the first time, lean toward open-ended questions like,

• “How do you spend your time?”
• “What are you involved in these days?”
• “How’s your winter, spring, etc., been so far?”

Recognize the Many Ways of Making an Impact and Leaving a Legacy

When you love being a grandparent and family is your focus, it can be easy to lose sight of the other ways we all impact society and create a legacy.

Anyone in their 60s has impacted this world in some small (or large) way and has had an impact on others. And maybe they’re about to have an effect on you, too.

They may have mentored people in their field, taught others, or created something. Maybe they’ve traveled and have a new and interesting perspective on life. Or perhaps they’ve done something to improve the world and help others.

Whatever it is, it’s worth it to find out.

Use a Broad Approach to Social Gatherings

One of the best ways to live a rich life is to stay socially active as you age. Women in particular like to create clubs or groups for those with similar interests.

These groups and gatherings are wonderful. Just be sensitive to how they’re presented.

“Grandmas Who Garden,” “Knitting Nanas,” or “The Abuela Bikers” may leave women without grandchildren feeling like they don’t belong.

The assumption that all women in their 60s have, or should have, grandchildren is an outdated and limiting perspective.

In Conclusion

Although many women cherish their grandmother roles, others lead deeply fulfilling lives without that title. It’s essential for us to move beyond narrow definitions of what later life should look like and embrace women’s whole lives and experiences.

If you’ve ever faced these assumptions and felt unseen, know you are not alone. Your story, contributions, and experiences matter, grandchildren or not.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What assumptions have you faced as a 60+ woman? Have you made assumptions about others? How have you gotten out of situations where you have made wrong assumptions?

LSF has done it again.

I ran on Sunday, strength trained on Monday, and when my alarm went off to wake up for ballet class on Wednesday, my body rebelled.

Age is just a number, or so we are meant to believe. Well, I prefer the number 30. When I was 30, I could walk into a room and remember what I needed. At 30, I slept through the night and could do a full split. Thirty sounds like a good number to me.

Slowing Down

Alas, I am 30 no more, and at 60, I’m starting to feel my age more readily. I never prepared for this day. Somehow, I always thought that older me would be the same me, with more gray hair and wrinkles. In reality, older me is slowing down. I have less energy and tend to tire more quickly; exercising is tougher; and I tolerate a lot less than I used to.

At this age, it is more important than ever to challenge your mind, body, and soul; and I still do that through exercise, writing, work, and raising a teenager; It just seems at a slower pace. I sometimes wish I had been better prepared for this stage of life, all the while being grateful that I have gotten this far.

So, I thought I would write a “Top 3” list of things I should have said to my younger self and another list of things to say to my current, older self, with the intention of helping others to prepare for their individual journeys.

Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

Go with Confidence

There is no need to feel inferior to anyone. Gather up your strengths and show the world what you can do. Don’t second guess your choices. You are one of a kind with so much to offer; the world will accept you as you are.

You Will Always Bounce Back

No matter how dire the situation seems, you will always move forward. You have the wherewithal and gumption to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and proceed to something new and interesting – EVERY TIME.

Start an Exercise Program by the Time You Are 40

Trust me on this one. Getting into a fitness routine is so important to preserve your physical and mental health. Your body will age no matter what, so get into good habits before it’s too late.

Things I Would Tell My Current Self

Stay Active

Walk, play cards, socialize, go to a gym – do something. You need to keep moving in order for your brain and body to remain alert and nimble. I know you are sometimes tired, and rest is important, but push yourself to get out there.

Your Circle of Friends May Narrow, But It Will Be Filled with Genuine Connections

Don’t just do small talk anymore, opt for deep friendships that can go the distance during good times and bad. Your true-blue friends will reveal themselves.

Travel as Much as You Can

See the world and experience different cultures. Explore by walking through foreign cities, visit famous monuments and art, have adventures. Do it solo or with a companion. There may be a time when you aren’t as physically able and when that time comes, take slower paced trips that can accommodate your needs. There is lots to discover and your mind, body, and soul will be glad you did.

While I sometimes bemoan my current age and state of physique, I am taking my own advice. I have formed meaningful relationships with a select group of people; I keep my body and mind active; am more confident and know whatever comes my way, I will handle it; and I have my passport at the ready and not afraid to use it. Today, I am 60, but I believe my 80-year-old self will thank me.

Also read, Looking and Feeling Young… Beyond 80!

What Are Your Thoughts?

What are some of your favorite things to do to remain active? Do you have anything to add to my “Top 3 Lists?” I would love to hear ideas.

Is anxiety ruining your life? Are your days and nights full of worry? If so, you are in the right place!

Is this you…?

• Unable to focus on routine tasks.
• Stressed out.
• Preoccupied and unsettled.
• Worried about being worried.
• Losing sleep.
• Overwhelmed.

Would you love to be able to…

• Calm down and relax.
• Think clearly.
• Feel in control.
• Stop worrying.

If this is you, you are not alone.

My Anxiety Story

There was a time when I was a bundle of anxiety, too.

About 13 years ago, I was a mess. I was smack dab in the middle of an emotional nightmare. I wasn’t sleeping. I was obsessed with scary, unsettling thoughts. And lots of what ifs.

I just couldn’t help myself. Visits to my doctor increased. Xanax helped, but still, it seemed like the nightmare would never end.

Finally, I declared, “I don’t want to live like this anymore!” I got help. I made a 180-degree shift. I learned how to manage anxiety and worry.

I stopped the anxious thoughts. I was able to sleep better. I calmed down and gained control over my life. I became anxiety-free.

Then, I became a certified anxiety coach and now, I help other women become anxiety-free! 

Do You Want to Manage Anxiety Too?

If you’ve been feeling anxious, fearsome, and restless, follow these 3 steps.

Identify the Fears Causing Your Anxiety

Reflect on the fears underneath your worry. Be curious. Pay attention to ideas that surface. Think about this while you’re taking a walk or vacuuming the carpet.

Take note of any worst-case scenarios that pop up. Observe what your inner critic is telling you.

Being intentional about naming your fears provides an awareness that is vital to getting rid of anxiety. When you have identified your fears, it’s possible to do something about them.

I had a client who was overwhelmed with anxiety about her relationship with her daughters. She was angry! After discovering the fears causing her anxiety and anger, she calmed down and was able to focus rationally on the situation with her daughters. This happened all because she took the time to reflect on her underlying fears.

Change Negative Thoughts to Positive Thoughts

Fears produce negative thoughts. The fears you identify are the root of the anxious, troubling, out-of-control thinking that’s overwhelming you. So, what can you do about this?

The answer: Think new thoughts… positive, affirming thoughts. Being intentional about shifting negative thoughts to positive thoughts makes a big difference in what you believe about a situation that’s upsetting you. It’s not just putting a positive spin on an experience. It’s opening yourself up to new possibilities. You feel better about yourself and have more energy to manage life.

How does this radical change happen? The idea is to catch negative thoughts when they show up. Stop and think about what’s going on in your mind. If your thoughts are pulling you down and causing worry, change them. Use affirming, upbeat words to begin a positive, uplifting pattern of thinking.

One of my clients experienced great anxiety about managing her employees. She learned how to rephrase the negative statements she was telling herself. Repeating positive, encouraging statements to herself worked wonders. She was able to approach employee conversations with confidence and a clear mind – not one cluttered with worry.

Develop a Plan for Anxiety-Free Living

Practice, practice, practice! Every day!

Practice shifting negative thoughts to new positive thoughts by…

1. Catching negative thoughts more and more over time.
2. Being patient and kind with yourself while you learn this process of building awareness about your thoughts.
3. Recognizing that you are creating a new pattern of thinking.
4. Noticing how it feels to manage your thought life in a healthy way.

Develop a plan for quieting yourself to observe how your new thinking habit is working. Reflect daily. You will begin to experience less overwhelm and worry.

Write affirmations and say them to yourself several times a day. Use positive, inspiring words. A client told me that repeating affirmations to herself was the most helpful thing.

Remember, you don’t have to believe everything your mind tells you!

If you are truly struggling with anxiety, watch my FREE 10-minute video (click here) to learn more about the EXACT 3 steps you can take to become anxiety-free.

Let’s Reflect:

What keeps you up at night? Do you feel anxious most of the time? To date, what have you tried to calm your anxiety?