Several years ago, my husband and I visited an old friend who had not been well. We were shocked to see that his health had deteriorated quite quickly with cancer, heart disease, and early onset Alzheimer’s – all at the age of 60.

Our visit prompted lots of personal reflection for my husband and me, as well as a number of conversations over a glass of wine. The mantra went like this, “What would you do if…?”

We identified one trouble spot that can surface in any relationship. It can be between husband and wife, between siblings, between parent and child.

The truth is that one person tends to know more about the day to day running of the household than the other. One person is always ahead of the other when it comes to that kind of information.

For instance, I knew all about my mother’s banking, her taxes and her bill payments because I was geographically closer to her than my brother was. If I had suddenly been struck ill, he would have had to scramble to put the pieces together. Where did she bank? Who was her lawyer? Where was the safety deposit key?

I knew the answers. And without intending to, the information became a secret.

Who Controls the Information in Your House?

In my current situation, the household bills fall under my control. My husband and I are in a second marriage. When he moved into my home, I continued the role of paying the basic monthly bills.

We always say that we have no secrets. Both of us are very forthcoming with our respective financial contributions to the household. But when we played “What if…?” we realized that as open as we both are, over time, systems have been put in place that are only known to me.

Do You Know the Important Passwords?

My husband does not know which of the household bills are paid automatically. If he needed to go online and change some information in one of our customer profiles, he would need to know all of the passwords. When we started to make a list, there were about 20 passwords he would need for everything from the hydro (power) account to my Facebook page.

When you think about it, that’s a lot to take for granted. In the “old days” the hard copies of bills came in the mail and there was a paper trail of the payments in the check book ledger. So, in my example with my brother and mother, he could have conceivably followed the trail with bank statements and hard copies of monthly bills.

But many of us have traded in our paper systems for online paperless systems. And someone needs to know how to access those unintended secrets, ensuring the bills get paid. In this case, simply knowing how to get into my email to actually see the online statements would be a first step!

Have You Written a Will?

And it’s not just financial topics. I have a jewelry box and over time I have received jewelry from my mother and my mother-in-law. My husband does not really know which set of pearls should go to my sons or which of his mother’s rings should stay with his sons.

I have my mother’s ring that my father gave her on their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. In her will she left the ring to me with the added direction that it would go to my only niece when I died. I asked my husband which ring was the ring in question. He just stared at me with an open mouth! He had no idea. The info had become a secret.

I have other rings, pearls, earrings, costume jewelry – we are not talking about large financial values but that is not the point. The real value is the story attached to each piece. The history of each piece would be lost with me.

Information Is Power

On a lighter note, my husband does not know where I buy the cat food or where the cat’s vaccination certificate is kept. I tested him and he failed miserably. He thought I bought her food at the vet. I did – about five years ago! Now I just buy it at the grocery store.

And one more proof that one person in the family is the holder of key information. I know when our grandchildren’s birthdays are. My husband knows the date when I say, “We’re going to Emmett’s birthday party on Sunday!”

So, your action plan is to buy a small notebook and write down all of the information you know that needs to come out of the vault. Consider such topics as finance, household, pets, kids and grandkids, parents, legal – and don’t forget noting the password for the Netflix account!

I will continue to do the same. I am also working on a template that would be useful for this task, including a photo journal of some of the family possessions that should be tracked.

What information is in your personal vault? What secrets are you holding onto that should be shared? Do you have tips to pass on about sharing this information? Please add to the conversation.

After almost 11 months of isolation and watching the devastation this virus has created in our world, I gratefully accepted to take the Covid-19 vaccine when it was offered to my age group. It happened last Sunday.

My appointment at Mt. Sinai Medical Center in Miami was made on the phone by my sister Gladys. She is 10 years my senior and was sweet enough to think of me and make an appointment for both of us.

She was lucky to get through very busy telephone lines and agree that on January 10th at 9:15 AM we would both be there to receive it. The follow up second vaccine was also scheduled for February 7th at the same time.

An Exciting Trip to the Hospital

It was the perfect day. The sky was blue, and the sun was out, and although it was chilly (For us chilly means in the 50s. Don’t judge us dear Canadians!), the view of the bay approaching Miami Beach was blinding and beautiful.

It was a 10-minute drive with almost no traffic – a miracle. We arrived at the parking lot, entered the clinic, and sat to fill in a form. Then we were ushered to the adjacent building where our names were called immediately. A nurse took me to a very comfy armchair.

Before he jabbed my arm, I asked him if I could take a picture of the procedure. He said, “I can do better than that!” and asked one of his colleagues to take the photo for me. She took a video and a few stills in quick succession.

I am happy she did, because if I didn’t have that video, I would never have believed that I had gotten the shot. I felt zero impact or pain. I praised Elicier’s (yes, unusual name that I had never heard before) skill, put my coat on, and went to a waiting room where I was to stay for 15 minutes in case there were any immediate side-effects.

There my sister introduced me to her nurse, Lidia, who was funny, cheerful, and lovely. Quite frankly, all hospital personnel did not let the masks prevent them from showing their good cheer, happy disposition, and helpfulness. Everyone was warm and cordial.

15 minutes later, we were in the car and on our way home. We had arrived at the hospital at 9AM and were back in my house at 9:40AM. A true record in this otherwise frantic city where traffic is usually a nightmare.

We Were Well Informed

We received the Moderna Covid-19 vaccine and were informed that while there was no FDA (United States Federal Drug Administration) approved vaccination yet, the organization was making it available through a mechanism called an EUA, an Emergency Use Authorization.

“The EUA is supported by a Secretary of Health and Human Services declaration that circumstances exist to justify the emergency use of drugs and biological products during the Covid-19 pandemic.” The known and potential benefits of the product outweigh it’s the known and potential risks. In the past 11 months, we have all learned the known risks of contracting Covid-19.

The fact sheet contained lots of information including the ingredients of the vaccine so that we would be able to determine if we were allergic to any of the components. We were also given a card stating that we had received the first dose of the Moderna vaccination and the appointment for the next dose.

My Decision to Get Vaccinated

We all have choices and decisions to make in life. For me, receiving the vaccine means that after the second application I will be able to leave my house feeling less burdened. While still wearing a mask throughout, washing hands, and distancing is crucial, I feel that there will be less dread of doing the simplest things that comprise my daily life.

Just as important is to provide safety and be part of my human community protecting myself and others from this terrible virus and public health hazard. I am happy to be able to be involved in the “herd immunity” that we so desperately need to get back to perhaps a new “normal,” hopefully a healthy one.

So How Do You Feel?

I’ve been asked this a lot since Sunday. “I’m sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop!” I reply. I now feel where nurse Elicier jabbed me but not even in a painful way. My arm just whispers, “See, now you believe?” to which I reply, “Oh shush arm, we’re doing well!”

They say that side effects could start around the third day, if at all. Some report that they may come after the second shot, if at all. We are, after all, individuals and as long as we know what to expect, we can cope with it.

My Long-Term Plans

My longer-term post-vaccine plans include all sorts of happy things. Topping the list is being able to see my kids and grandkids. My more immediate plans are being able to go to Target, to Trader Joe’s, and even to IKEA without thinking that Covid-19 is waiting around the corner to attack me.

In the meantime, I will continue to be cautious but at least not feel in such imminent danger as I’ve felt throughout 2020. Maybe it will be a Happy New Year after all!

Have you decided to get vaccinated for Covid? What drives your decision? How do you expect to feel emotionally after the vaccination? Please share your thoughts with the community, but make sure to note that vaccination is a personal decision.

Each year, the Pantone Color Institute studies trends and tendencies in society, marketing, fashion, and even politics to come up with what they call the “Color of the Year.” But this year they picked two colors. Those colors are “Ultimate Gray” and “Illuminating,” a light shade of yellow.

If anyone could have come up with a perfect summary of what we are looking at going forward into 2021, they couldn’t have done much better.

What Gray Symbolizes

A lot of people ascribe less-than-uplifting meanings to the color gray, and it’s not surprising, considering our language: “I’m in a gray mood.” “It’s a gray day.” Or, “My hair is turning gray!” But actually, given the right piece, the right shade, and on the right person, gray is a beautiful, refined, and versatile color. And, in combination with this year’s Illuminating yellow, it is a perfect complement.

Gray is the balance point between opposites: white and black. So, intrinsically, it expresses balance and harmony, and that alone makes it calming. But calling it “Ultimate” is amusing, because intrinsically gray is not a color that pretends to be ultimate in anything.

Spiritually, the color conveys dignity, humility, and integrity. In darker tones it could be seen as somber. But Ultimate Gray is a brighter and lighter version, and therefore has some vibrancy to it, making it a great foil for Illuminating yellow.

In the Munsell color system, (based on the 20^th century research of A.H. Munsell into the science of color) all colors have four qualities: darkness, lightness, coolness, warmth. That means they all have varying amounts of white, black, blue, and red or yellow.

Ultimate Gray has a lot of white in it, and its base appears to be in a more blue/purple range, making it a cooler version of gray.

The Meaning of Yellow

If gray projects quietude and conservatism, yellow does the opposite. In Western cultures, it is associated with the sun, happiness, friendship, revival, and freshness. Whereas gray suggests boundaries, yellow is open-hearted and welcoming.

On the spiritual level, yellow is identified with the 3^rd chakra, the solar plexus. The solar plexus is our connection with our determination and willpower. So, in a way, the combination of these colors says, “I am grounded, but by my will I am determined to overcome the darkness around me.”

(When I think about personal will, I always check myself to make sure that my willpower is somehow linked to a more Divine will so as to not spin off in an aggressive direction.)

But overall, yellows are symbolic of joyfulness and optimism and self-worth. Of all colors, psychologically they are said to project more happiness than the other colors in the rainbow. This is likely because we associate yellow with the sun, the bright warmth that brings new life.

Illuminating yellow, like Ultimate Gray, also has a lot of white added to it. That means it’s not too bold or saturated.

Who Can Wear These?

Everyone has some version of gray in their ideal color palette. Ultimate Gray would work best for someone whose overall coloring was in the middle-to-low contrast level. That means that the brightness and depth of color in their eyes, skin, and hair are of similar value.

Put another way, if your favorite colors are bright and highly saturated or warm and earthy, this shade of gray could look dulling on you because it doesn’t have the depth those colors do.

But it would be a knockout on someone whose hair was of the same shade. Wearing our hair color is a reinforcement of our overall visual expression. Our hair color changes over time to the lightest version of what it was.

So, Ultimate Gray would likely be similar to the hair color of someone whose original shade was a dark, cooler brown or maybe a softer black, but not likely jet black or reddish brown.

Yellows, however, don’t work for everyone. They can be tricky and dulling on those with very low color contrast in their skin, eyes, and hair. Yellows can turn them muddy-looking. Also, this Illuminating shade isn’t as vibrant as the more saturated yellows. Those are more forward. So, in general, it works best for someone with a medium level of contrast overall.

Unless your hair is an exact match, it’s probably best to wear Ultimate gray away from your face, and even then you would want to liven it up. A printed scarf that incorporates both colors worn with a gray or yellow top could be lovely. That would bring more vibrancy to your face.

An Alternative?

Now, if Ultimate Gray or Illuminating yellow seem dull to you, consider a more reflective version: silver or gold. Just keep in mind that the shinier the textile, the more drama it conveys. These particular yellow and gray are pretty un-dramatic, which, these days, is something of a blessing.

Also, a metallic version will read as brighter and lighter simply because it reflects light. The reason Ultimate Gray works with Illuminating is that it is a “flat” color, and therefore lets the energy and buoyancy of the yellow come forward.

Both of these colors bring a sense of clarity; one is grounding and balanced, the other is exuberant and soars. What a fabulous combination. And that gives us hope for 2021.

Do you wear gray and yellow? And do you wear them together? Would you consider wearing this combination? How will you change it to fit your complexion? What kind of items would you consider in the gray-and-yellow combo? Please share with us all.

She’s been teasing us for months and now, JLo Beauty is finally here. You might not be able to shop it yet but we have all the details so you can game-plan what to add to your skincare routine. Because if the 51-year-old uses her own line, well, we know it seriously works. Just look at that “JLo Glow.”

JLo Beauty was inspired by Lopez’s lifelong mantra, The Five S’s: sleep, sunscreen, serum, supplements and sano—from the Spanish phrase, vivir sano, meaning live healthy. Lopez is all about that life, shunning drink and smoking, eating well, exercising and drinking lots of water. Self-care and skincare go hand-in-hand with this ethos.

Growing up, Lopez’s skincare routine was much simpler: Ivory soap and Avon. Her mother told her olive oil was a cure for everything so Lopez made her it was the base for her skincare line. “It’s all about the family tradition of using olive oil for skin and hair,” she told STYLECASTER. The line aims to give you hydration and a “full, youthful, glowy look.” Not that looking younger is the key to looking beautiful. Lopez tells herself, “I’m beautiful and youthful at any age.”

“I think there’s an unnatural standard with all the filters and fillers in the world right now,” she continues. “Aging in a graceful way is a crazy thought. You look great, whatever age you are. Not great for 50, great period!” Not that she wakes up feeling amazing every day. Lopez is actually human. “I have mornings I wake up and feel like crap,” she admits. “I tell myself, like my idol Barbra Streisand, ‘Hello, gorgeous!’ I tell myself I’m going to have the best day ever, the best day yet.”

Source: Instagram

Keep reading for all the details on the new eight-piece line that officially launches January 1. But set your iCal, because you can get early access to shop on December 8.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

JLo Beauty.

That Fresh Take Eye Cream with Peptides

This hydrating eye cream is packed with patented peptides to help smooth fine lines, sugar-derived matrix for firming and a blurring complex to hide the look of dark circles.

JLo Beauty.

That Hit Single Gel-Cream Cleanser

This gel-cream cleanser features the brand’s Olive Complex, an antioxidant-rich, olive blend of
squalane, fermented oil, extra virgin oil and leaf extract for all-day hydration.

JLo Beauty.

That JLo Glow Serum with Olive Complex

Here’s that JLo-glow promise in a tube. It contains the Olive Complex, as well as yeast-derived ferment for softer skin, Japanese rice sake ferment for brightening and sugar-derived matrix for firming.

JLo Beauty.

That Limitless Glow Sheet Mask

Keep the glow going with serum-packed sheet masks.

JLo Beauty.

That Star Filter Highlighting Complexion Booster

Would it be a JLo line without bronzer and highlighter? In three shades, mineral pigments give an instant glow. Use it alone or add it to moisturizer.

JLo Beauty.

That Inner Love

Lopez says “you can’t really have great skin if you don’t do something from the inside out.” This supplement contains olive extract, vitamin E, manganese and copper. Check with your doctor to make sure they’re the right vitamins for you.

JLo Beauty.

That Blockbuster Wonder Night Cream with Hyaluronic Acid

Along with the Olive Complex, this “wonder cream” is full of antioxidant-rich peptides, hyaluronic acid and yeast-derived ferment for silky smooth skin.

JLo Beauty.

That Big Screen Moisturizer with Broad Spectrum SPF 30

Forget having great skin without sunscreen! Not only does this one have broad spectrum SPF30, but it also contains marine bamboo to help protect skin from blue light, as well as hyaluronic acid,
glycerin and natural sugars for hydration. 

Additional reporting by Alana Peden.

I pay so much attention to the skin on my face, but not nearly enough attention to that of my tush. I realized at the beginning of quarantine (when I had endless time to think about such things), that I had been neglecting my butt’s complexion. Nothing crazy happened—I just couldn’t remember the last time I gave it any form of nourishment, which it so clearly deserves. As I went on a hunt for a new butt firming cream, I had a few qualifications that had to be met.

First, it had to be affordable—I didn’t want to buy one expensive jar of miracle cream and never get around to purchasing more. Compliance is the most important rule in adopting a new skincare step.  I knew I wanted to maintain the habit of hydrating my skin so it stayed tight and smooth. Second, it had to work; I knew there had to be some kind of fix consumers were raving about that I merely hadn’t discovered yet. And lastly, I wanted my peach skin to feel as smooth and soft as my face skin…because why not?

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

After perusing copious reviews, I decided to try Advanced Clinicals Collagen Skin Rescue Lotion. The SOLE complaint I could find on these formulas (it’s sold alongside a retinol lotion) was that once someone found it cheaper in person at Walmart (hot tip, if you live near a Walmart). One reviewer even writes, “Don’t bother paying $50 to $150 for moisturizer and anti-aging products. These are the real deal at a fraction of the price.” With so many more reviews like this one, I decided to give it a try. Plus, anything you buy on Amazon is totally returnable, so I figured there was limited risk. 

Advanced Clinicals.

Buy: Advanced Clinicals Collagen Lotion $19.99

Perhaps the most famous booty cream on the market is Sol de Janeiro’s Brazilian Bum Bum Cream. I’ve used this before and the smell alone is enough to make you want to splurge on it. Ingredients like caffeine-rich Guaraná Extract, fast-absorbing Cupuaçu Butter, and acai oil help give your bum the vitamins, antioxidants, and wake up (hello, caffeine!) call lit needs, which is why it’s become a fan favorite over the years. But if you’re looking for a dupe, Advanced Clinicals is the way to go.

Unlike Sol de Janeiro’s, Advanced Clinicals collagen cream has zero smell, but you can get two 16-ounce tubs for just $19.99 total. Key ingredients like hydrolyzed collagen (broken-down collagen that absorbs faster), aloe barbadensis leaf juice (an anti-inflammatory), and camellia sinensis leaf extract (green tea antioxidant) work together to get the job done. I purchased my first tub in May of this year, and I’m still using it. I use it on my bum every time I get out of the shower, so that’s a lot of uses over a now seven-month period.

Source: Instagram

Within about a week of slathering after every shower, I noticed my butt was looking better. The appearance of cellulite and overall sagginess was going down, but perhaps the most noticeable improvement was that my butt finally felt as soft as my face. I’ve literally started rubbing it (yes, my butt) in bed at night, and I’m soothed by how soft and supple my skin feels. No, that’s not weird! It’s self-love!

Though my 16-ounce tub is still going strong, I’ll definitely be purchasing this again as soon as I run out. Since it’s long-lasting and affordable, I’m more likely to keep up with the routine which is what I was after from the beginning. Now that I’ve started moisturizing my butt there’s no stopping me. Just wait until June when the world can (hopefully) see her again in all her glory.