Living with uncertainty is challenging, especially for those of us who are over 60. We have so many questions about the future. At times, it feels like we have more questions than answers. This can be very difficult. Some people can live with uncertainty, but others find it impossible to cope with.

We are more reflective of life as we age and we have so many unanswered big questions. What is the meaning of life, why am I here, do I believe in god, am I a good person/parent/partner/friend, and so on. Many of us have accepted that these questions are concerning our views of the world, our beliefs and our outlook on life. These are the things we have been pondering for decades.

And then there are the other questions we seriously think about all the time. These questions tend to make us extremely uncomfortable when left unanswered as they deal with our financial stability, our health and our living situation.

When the economy is bad, it negatively impacts our available cash flow, the cost of living and our ability to survive on a fixed income. While we may be healthy today, we could have an accident or get sick tomorrow. And our living situation can quickly change with the end of a relationship, an accident, a natural disaster or a terrorist attack. And where will this leave us? What will we do?

Not having answers to these questions can definitely keep us up at night, steal our appetite, and plunge us into a very dark state of mind. Sure we can answer them, but without a crystal ball, the answers are only speculation. So what do we do? Unfortunately, we often handle uncertainty in unproductive ways. We may find ourselves:

• Constantly pestering others for reassurance on decisions made and choices taken
• Frantically checking things over and over again to ensure everything is fine with no surprises
• Avoiding places, people and situations to eliminate uncertain outcomes
• Keeping extremely busy so there is no time to think about the uncertainty in life

These are unhealthy ways of handling uncertainty as they all encourage anxiety and paranoia. The goal should be to handle uncertainty in a way that encourages us to enjoy our life and not be too focused on the unknown. We want to take control. But we need to do this in a positive way that reduces stress and the anxiety.

Here are a few positive suggestions for managing the uncertainty in your life so that you can get more from life after 60.

Replace Expectations with Solid Plans

When you form expectations, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment, as the future is usually different from what you expected. Instead of expecting something specific, focus on what you can do, and make plans accordingly.

Prepare for Many Different Possibilities

To give yourself a sense of control, make plans for a variety of different outcomes and build flexibility into your plans. This will eliminate the fear of not knowing what to do, and provide solutions for handling a variety of future situations.

Take Control of Your Feelings

Sometimes we can get lost in our feelings and drown in negative “what if” speculations. We need to nip these speculations and remind ourselves that while we can’t predict the future, it does not mean it will be negative. It may also be positive and we need to look forward to it with positive feelings.

Gain Confidence in Your Ability to Cope and Adapt

Determine the worst that can happened to you and then figure out how you will handle it. Once you know how you will handle the worst, it becomes less stressful and you will build up confidence in your ability to handle the future.

Control Your Stress Levels with Mindfulness and Stress Reduction Techniques

Focus on living in the here and now. Mindfulness, achieved with gentle yoga, meditation and some exercises, brings our focus to the moment and our attention to how we feel and what is currently happening. This relaxes our body and removes feelings of fear and anxiety about the unknown. Whatever technique you use, it is important to reduce stress, as this will help you relax and be better prepared to handle whatever life presents you with.

Focus on What You Can Do

Focusing on what you can do provides the strength and confidence in your abilities to handle life. This positive focus helps eliminate the stress and worry from what you can’t do.

We have to consider that living with uncertainty makes life exciting. How boring would life be if we knew what would happen to us in the future? We need to embrace the unknown and not fear it.

Uncertainty can keep us up at night, obsessing over what might go wrong, or it can motivate us to practice acceptance, live in the moment, and embrace the adventure of living.

I’m focusing on my possibilities, not my fear, and I feel extremely positive.

It’s all good!

What are your biggest worries now that you are in your 60s or 70s? More importantly, what positive steps are you taking to address them? Please join the conversation.

Watch our conversation on the topic of uncertainty in life after 60:

It was at the Milan, Italy, airport customs that I learned to lie and say I was a tourist. In truth, I was a 16-year-old model, and needed to avoid the all-important work visa. It was the mid-1980s and Julianne, my fellow model and deceiver, taught me to smile and play innocent.

“Modella, una, duo,” the customs official said, counting the two of us while looking at our passports. With a smirk, he let us enter. Apparently, we weren’t fooling anyone. It was the beginning of my many lessons in Italy.

In my two months there, I learned to apply Sophia Loren style black eyeliner, sip espresso, avoid the pasta, as well as the cute mafia guy (even though he was soooo cute). Let’s take these in order.

Sophia Loren’s Iconic Eyeliner

From the Golden Age of Hollywood, Sophia Loren is one of the most iconic actresses of her generation. She’s won an Oscar, a Grammy, five Golden Globes, a BAFTA, a Laurel Award, the Volpi Cup for Best Actress at the Venice Film Festival, and the Best Actress Award at the Cannes Film Festival.

Beautiful and brilliant, she inspires me to this day. Yet her eyeliner can be a challenge to duplicate. How do you create her powerful eyes without looking like you hit the Grappa for breakfast?

Check out my makeup tutorial above for an easy-to-follow strategy to pull it off.

(Main products used in video: MAC Fluidline Gel Liner in Blacktrack, White MAC eye-pencil, Jane Iredale Eyeshadow palette Naturally Matte, Jane Iredale Lipstick Craving. For complete list, go to YouTube and click SHOW MORE.)

Espresso for Bad-Asses

Before moving to Italy to model, I thought Folgers Choice was the only coffee in the world. It made me want to hurl. When I arrived in Italy, Julianne, ever my trusty corruptor, took me out for espresso and cannoli.

To say I was won over was an understatement – I’ve been a coffee drinker ever since, sans the Folgers. Espresso is, for some, an acquired taste, but for me, it blended with the high-testosterone atmosphere of Milan, and to this day makes me feel like I’m back in a random café near the Piazza Castello.

For true Italian flavor, try Illy Classico Whole Bean Italian Coffee, without crème.

Pasta: The Devil in Tube Form

You may know this, but high fashion modeling requires you to be ultra-skinny. As a 16-year-old who had never gained weight, or eaten much pasta, the sudden 10 pounds that showed up on my backside was a reality whammy.

My then (male) agent, ever-so-tactlessly wacked my bum and said, “you’re fat, gotta lose that,” and walked off. This was his idea of a pep talk. With my self-esteem laid waste, I decided to lose weight by eating only pasta, as I had no idea what had caused the problem in the first place.

Espresso, wine (no one paid attention to my age), and pasta were my mealtime favorites, as was my ever-growing bum. Needless to say, Julianne stepped in and recommended I drop the pasta in favor of meat and vegetables, which I did, along with a fitness regime of running every day in the local park. The weight came off. I still miss pasta.

Avoid the Mafia

His name was Marco, and geez, was he handsome. Dressed in a brown leather designer jacket, dark wash jeans, and a black t-shirt, I was speechless when he sat down next to me in the lobby of the hotel where I lived with other models from my agency.

Never had I met a man like him; dressed to perfection, thick Italian accent, and money to burn. Rather than have even a drop of suspicion about him, I accepted his invitation to dinner. Yes, I did.

He picked me up in a car large by Italian standards, and heavy. It felt like we were riding in the backseat of a tank. The driver was a thick man in a dark suit who never spoke, and followed us the entire evening. Finally, during dinner, I braved the question. “Why is the car so, um, heavy?”

“Oh, it’s, how do you say in English, the bullets can’t get in,” he said, mimicking the action of a bullet flying through his rigatoni. “You mean bullet-proof?” I gasped in disbelief. He smiled and sipped his Chianti.

Mustering my courage, I continued. “And who’s the guy in the suit and why is he following us?” Marco chuckled, wiped his mouth and looked at me with his brown, soft watery eyes. “That’s my bodyguard,” he said.

Swallowing hard, I whispered, “M…M…Marco, is someone going to try and shoot us at dinner?” He laughed a kind of fake laugh, and then said, “I hope not. You see, my family is the third richest family in Italy, and that man protects me.”

My appetite gone, all I heard were the words, MAFIA. Maybe it was from seeing The Godfather, but from that point on I did all I could to put Marco in my past. Take it from me, stay away from watery-eyed well-dressed Italian men.

What do you think of Sophia Loren’s makeup? Do you think you will try it? What’s your favorite espresso? And do you eat pasta with wealthy Italian playboys? Do tell.