Searching for love is never easy, even in the best of times. This past year, however, may have been the worst of times. Quarantine left so many of us isolated that it’s not surprising to hear rates of anxiety and depression have soared.

On the other hand, the pandemic gave us an unexpected gift: time to think (ok, for some of us, maybe too much time). It gave us enough of a pause that we could take out our microscopes and get down to some much-needed self-examination. It enabled us to question what is really important, what we are grateful for, and who and what we really love.

Re-Evaluate Every Aspect of Life

For many, the pandemic pause created an opportunity to seize the day and drive personal change. It became a springboard for self-growth and change. The uncertainty and loneliness forced some of us to realize that we need the right partner to share life with, and that we need to act now. 

So, like primordial beings crawling out from under that pandemic rock, we’re ready for rebirth. We may want to change things up and re-evaluate the interactions between our work and life and all the relationships in between.

And as a dating expert, I can’t help but encourage my clients to use this time to re-evaluate their dating preconceptions. I’m challenging them to step out of their comfort zone, daring them to actually meet someone different in this “new normal.”

Trying Something New

And it’s not just me. A survey of about 5,000 dating-app users conducted by Match.com between July and August 2020 reveals that 59 percent of daters are considering a wider range of people as potential partners, and that 55 percent are fast-tracking new relationships when they wouldn’t have pre-COVID.

Likewise, I recently encouraged a 50-year-old female client of mine to try something “new.” She is a marketing executive and normally dates corporate professionals. During one of our coaching calls, we talked about a drummer in a ’90s rock band she had seen on one of the dating apps. Sensing her interest in this “bad boy,” I encouraged her to try that walk on the wild side.

“How often do you get the opportunity to date someone from another professional planet?” I asked her. With some more encouragement, she reached out to the drummer. After several dates, she couldn’t wait to get back to me and report that she’s having the time of her life with him. 

Vaxxed and Ready to Jump in – Now What?

A general rule of thumb with online dating is the 50-50 rule. As you peruse online daters’ profiles, give them a 50-50 shot. He may be an inch shorter than you’d like, live 10 miles further than your usual scope of geographic interest, or be approaching baldness.

Read his profile in depth. Look at all his photos and comments. If you find yourself sitting on the fence (50-50), take a leap of faith and go for it. 

What does that mean? It’s not just sending a like or a heart! Write back to this candidate in a five-sentence format such as “Hi Jack! Enjoyed the photos of you horseback riding and your horse, Moxy. I rode when I was younger and now I have the urge to ride again. How often do you ride? Warmly, Anna.”

So, what exactly did we accomplish here? A personalized response, a genuine connection by using his name, referencing something in his profile, sharing a tiny bit of info about you, and closing with your name. Obviously, this was not a copy-and-paste response! You showed authentic interest.

Follow a Nightly Exercise

Last, I encourage my clients to do this fun homework on a nightly basis. You work hard at your job, yes? You devote several hours per week to working out, yes? Dating online is no different! As you approach a new dating app, you need to invest 20-30 minutes every day to searching for good matches.

My advice is to reach out in the above five-sentence format to five men each evening for four straight nights. That should put you in the “dating groove”! Will you get 20 responses? No – but you will be proactively controlling your love life and not leaving it to serendipity!

Plus, you will most likely be surprised by the responses that come back. And there’s also more from the men who will have actively searched you out. It’s not magic, but it is a numbers game!

With 60 percent of my clients now dating someone they met online using a strategic approach, that’s a lot of love! To see how you are faring with online dating, take this simple Online Dating Quiz to rate yourself. And as an added bonus in June, we have 20% off our most popular program – so get on board!

We don’t have to settle for the way our lives were before Covid-19 changed everything. If you want meaningful love, or even just a fun “hot lady summer,” it’s time to go out and grab that adventure!

What kind of guys have you been looking for on online dating sites? What results have you seen? Do you think you can modify your search a little and date a different type of man? Are you ready to try the four-night exercise?

I’ve said it before and I’ll proudly say it again — when it comes to mascara (whether drugstore, premium or luxury) Essence’s Lash Princess formula, is hands down my favorite of all time. When I found out the drugstore beauty brand was launching a new member to the Lash Princess collection, I knew I had to get my hands on it STAT. While I love the original Lash Princess Falsies Effect Mascara and have been using it for over five years (I always use the waterproof version), I simply had to give the new Lash Princess Curl Mascara a review.

Essence decided to launch this new addition to the Lash Princess lineup because fans had been requesting a curling formula for years — the collection already includes False Lash Effect (my tried and true holy grail), Sculpted Volume, and Volume formulas — each designed with different formulas and brush shapes to help create the desired result. The Lash Princess Curl Mascara is designed with a peanut-shaped wand, which allows you to get from root to tip and build volume while maximizing the curl factor. Best of all, this formula doesn’t flake or clump — sure, sometimes I do like that look, but on the daily — not so much.

Courtesy of Essence.

Buy: Essence Lash Princess Curl Mascara $4.99

Compared to the other mascaras in the Lash Princess line, the Lash Princess Curl Mascara definitely adds more of a lift and curve, but the difference is subtle. With that being said, the formula is still stellar and it wears all day without smudging, smearing, or transferring — and yes, I did try the non-waterproof version and it held up like a dream. For reference, I applied this mascara at eight in the morning in ultra-humid Austin Texas weather before boarding a flight back home to Los Angeles, which made for about a twelve-hour day, so I’d say it passed the long-wear-friendly test without a doubt.

Courtesy of Mia Maguire.

Above see the difference between my bare lashes (left) and two thin coats of Lash Princess Curl Mascara (right).

Buy: Essence Lash Princess Curl Mascara $4.99

Full disclosure: my best pandemic beauty habit was being consistent with my brow and eyelash serum (I swear by both the GrandeLASH and GrandeBROW formulas, BTW), so my lashes are already in good shape, but this mascara really did tighten the curl without having to use an eyelash curler. In comparison to its fellow Lash Princess counterparts, the Curl a drier, thicker consistency, which I personally think helps add more volume to the lashes as opposed to solely length.

Unlike the Sculpted Volume formula, however, the Curl doesn’t allow you to build up as many layers without clumping, but that’s the price you pay for that extra curl. Overall, while the Lash Princess Falsies Effect will remain my ride-or-die, the new Curl Mascara has definitely made its way into my go-to mascaras drawers and you best believe I’ll be taking it with me the next time I travel.

There’s been this old-school way of thinking about beauty that’s finally becoming passé. Previously, you had two choices: affordable beauty products made without sustainability in mind and very few shade options or expensive “clean” products that aren’t easily accessible to the masses. Uoma by Sharon C’s Walmart line proves you actually can have it all. Uoma Beauty founder Sharon Chuter’s newest beauty brand launches today and it checks off off the boxes of what you’re craving this summer.

“Beauty comes in every color, budget, and lifestyle,” Chuter said in a statement. “We are stepping away from established beauty norms of being ‘category-led’ and, instead, recognizing the reality that we are serving a new age of category agnostic shoppers.” This line includes a 30-shade foundation range, cleansing oil, vitamin C serum, volumizing mascara, six-shade lip gloss/stain and waterless cleansing wipes.

Chuter is bringing nature-focused, vegan and cruelty-free products with recycled packaging to the masses—all at under $24. But that doesn’t mean she’s jumping on the “clean” beauty train that leaves out the average consumer and makes people feel bad about their purchases.

“I have always despised the term ‘clean beauty’ and the industry around it,” Chuter continues in the statement. “It’s less science and more misinformation, half-truths, and hysteria. Worst of all, clean beauty is the least inclusive space in beauty. I am delighted to be able to bring a balanced, science-forward, mumbo jumbo-free line into this space. Best of all, inclusivity is still at the heart of this range, along with price accessibility, high performance and the intersectionality between caring for ourselves yet being mindful of the planet we live in.”

Uoma by Sharon C.

OK, now let’s get to the products. Shop them all below and in Walmart stores now.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Uoma by Sharon C.

Flawless IRL Foundation

This oil-free, medium-to-full foundation comes in 30 shades and features skin-friendly ingredients such as watermelon rind extract, apple starch and lentil fruit.

Uoma by Sharon C.

Go Awf! Au Natural Cleansing Oil

Remove dirt, sunscreen and makeup with this gentle cleansing oil that leaves skin soft—not stripped. 

Uoma by Sharon C.

Go Awf! 2 In 1 Water-Activated Cleansing Wipes

These innovative biodegradable wipes come dry but when activated with water, turn into hypoallergenic makeup removing cloths with argan oil extract and vitamin E extract.

Uoma by Sharon C.

It’s Complicated Glossy Lip Tint & Oil

This non-transfer lip stain keeps lips hydrated with avocado oil and hyaluronic acid.

Uoma by Sharon C.

Badder Boom Volumizing Mascara

You already know we love Uoma Beauty’s Drama Bomb Mascara. This one is just as volumizing and even features Kalahari melon oil, argan oil, castor seed oil and vitamin B5. And all for $8.

Uoma by Sharon C.

Supa’ Natural Glow Vitamin C Serum

High potency vitamin C doesn’t have to cost a million dollars. Choose from 10 percent vitamin C for sensitive skin and 20 percent vitamin C for all skin types.

You’ve probably read professional relationship advice about how to survive with your partner into retirement. That always comes with lots of practical instructions about working together and enjoying each other’s company.

It all sounds a bit twee to me, so this is my personal take on how to get along with a partner once the children have grown up and moved on.

As a former journalist, I remember working for a local newspaper and interviewing long-term couples celebrating their golden or diamond wedding anniversaries.

Almost without hesitation, couples then advised to never go to bed on an argument, which, as a newly-wed, I thought was very sweet.

However, as time went on, for me, at least, this advice was just not practical. Maybe I have a more volatile nature, but many a time I have gone to bed in a complete sulk and not spoken to my hubby for days if we had argued.

So now, as retirement looms for my significant other and I, along with our 46th wedding anniversary, I have taken a good long look at how we will work together to ensure we continue to get on.

Different Careers, Different Friends

We have always had different careers, and subsequently, different sets of colleagues and work friends. I still regularly meet up with those former colleagues, and also with those former young Mums I met at mother and baby club when our children were small.

But then we also have joint friends – sometimes neighbours, sometimes those friends whose spouse clicked with mine and vice versa. We have enjoyed dinners out and even holidays together over the years.

I look around at my friends, most of whom are now in their 50s and 60s, and the majority are long-married like ourselves. OK, so a few are on their second marriage, but have been together 30+ years now. There are even a couple of happy divorcees who enjoy the freedom which the end of their marriages brought.

To survive such long-term relationships, we all have one thing in common – we are independent women as well as being part of a couple. For me, that is the most important ingredient in being content after so many years.

We have never lived in our husbands’ pockets, always earned our own money, always made our own friends, so retirement holds no fear of being stuck in the home with just one person. We both have friends with whom we can meet up and have interests outside the home.

Being Together

That’s not to say that we don’t enjoy doing things together. Holidays are always a good time to reconnect, away from the drudge of everyday chores, a time to talk and to reminisce.

Of course, times have changed. The first flush of new, young love gave way to the stress of working life, paying mortgages, and then the joy – and sometimes further stress – of having families, illness and accidents.

The distress of losing friends and parents, the emptiness of the children moving out, all have brought strain on relationships.

More Older Couples Are Divorcing

Looking at statistics for both the UK and the USA, there is a trend towards more couples over 50 divorcing.

Research reveals that since we are living longer, many women just decide they want their freedom after years of caring for children/husbands and want some independence in their autumn years.

That is a very brave move, but the reasons are that our generation is more financially secure, women are living longer, and the social stigma of being divorced is a thing of the past.

Men are not usually the instigators in a later divorce – again, the research suggests that they are more prepared to put up with a marriage which may have run its course.

The Best Time of Your Life

I’ve been told that the ages of 60-70 are probably the best times of our lives. Most of us are still relatively healthy and active, but without the stress and strain of work and raising a family. While I can certainly relate to that, I do realise that others may not be so lucky.

The loss of a salary can cause financial hardship, and illness and loss can be devastating. Obviously, if this is the case, you may find retirement difficult. But if you have a good support network, good friends and a loving family, this will help you come to terms with devastating life changes.

In fact, it is this time when the children may turn tables and become the helpers to take some of the burden.

I am now semi-retired and have recently taken up yoga – the only exercise I enjoy. I can’t think of anything worse than sweating in a gym to get some exercise. Walking is quite pleasant, as is swimming, but since a serious back injury last year, for me, at least, this is only something I can do in moderation.

I also took up blogging last year – something which I love, since it is very similar to the kind of paid work I used to enjoy before corporate politics took over my career.

My hubby used to be a keen angler before our daughter was born and is considering taking up that again – but neither of these is a spectator sport, nor something we will do together.

I have discovered a joy in travelling – both at home and abroad – which I hope will continue, either with my blogging friend, or my hubby.

So, enjoy the extra time together, but don’t give up on your own lives – whether it’s still meeting those friends and former colleagues, taking up a new interest or hobby, or even getting around to doing the things you never had the time to do while you were working.

But also spend some time getting to know each other again – you are not the same person you were 40 or 50 years ago.

Find whatever it is that you enjoy – and just do it! After all, we’ve been independent women all our lives, so why change now?

What do you do to keep your marriage strong? How do you plan to spend your retirement with your partner? What new activities do you intend to take up during your retirement? Is this the best time of your life? Should you stay in a marriage which is no longer fulfilling? Please join the discussion below!

Tinsley Mortimer’s Red and White Printed Dress on Instagram

Tinsley Mortimer Instagram Fashion 2021

Mermaids and seashells and starfish, oh my! Tinsley Mortimer’s red and white printed dress that we spotted her wearing on Instagram is a true summer dream. Now if only she could fulfill our dream of moving back to New York and signing a contract for RHONY Season 14, that would be really great. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Hill House Dress in Many Prints / Colours

Photos & Info: @TinsleyMortimer

Originally posted at: Tinsley Mortimer’s Red and White Printed Dress