It’s the dog days of summer – the weather is hazy, hot, and humid, but I’m worried about getting into my swimsuit at a party this weekend. I gained 10 pounds while on chemo earlier this year, and I don’t like this new body.

Body image is a big problem for many of us, and it stinks when we let that interfere with cooling off and participating in fun activities with our families and friends.

How many times have you gone to a pool party, refused to put on your bathing suit, and sat on the sidelines? Or maybe you’ve turned down tubing, or going on the rides at a water park, or just getting in the pool with your kids. It really interferes with your life, and it’s disappointing… for you and the people you’re NOT doing things with.

Don’t Miss Out on All the Action

One of my favorite Chicken Soup for the Soul stories is by Courtney Lynn Mroch, whotells us that she couldn’t believe it when her husband asked her to join his master’s swim team. “All body types are there,” he said, knowing how self-conscious she was about her body. “And all ages and skill levels,” he added, anticipating her next argument. “It’s not about what you look like or how fast you swim. It’s about getting in the water and enjoying some exercise.”

Enjoy? The last time Courtney had enjoyed being in a bathing suit was probably when she was 10 years old. Courtney decided to say yes though, primarily because they had just moved, and she needed to make some new friends. The swim team wasn’t just about competing – they had parties and they went out to eat after practices. And it was something for Courtney to do with her husband as a couple.

Now there was just the matter of putting on that swimsuit. Courtney sometimes wore one, but always with something covering up the top of her legs. If she went in the pool, that cover-up would have to come off and everyone would see her thighs.

At Courtney’s first practice, when the moment of truth arrived, she took off her protective covering and dashed into the pool. When practice was over, Courtney stayed in the pool, waiting for a chance to make her escape. Everyone wanted her to go out to dinner with them, but that would mean getting out of the pool and everyone was standing RIGHT THERE.

And then Courtney LOOKED at all her new teammates who were standing there, blocking her access to her towel. And she realized something. Her husband was right. There were all kinds of bodies. The people on the swim team didn’t look like they’d just come off the set of Baywatch.

Courtney got out of the pool, ready to scurry over to her towel, but one of her husband’s friends stopped her to introduce himself. So she stood there, marooned without her towel. And she survived. No one was looking at her legs – they were looking at her face, and meeting Courtney – a person.

She looks back on that first day on the team and she laughs now. And she says that the swim team was the best thing that ever happened to her body image. By the end of that summer, she was standing around after practice, talking and laughing without rushing to cover herself up. She was curvy and confident!

You Just Have to Start

I identified with Courtney’s story because I had my own freak-out over a family vacation during which I would be appearing in my swimsuit in front of our four very fit children and their spouses.

I couldn’t even sleep one night, so I got up and tried on my bathing suits a few days before we were leaving, and I realized I didn’t look so bad. I also realized the most important thing, which was that if I didn’t wear that bathing suit every single day on our trip – in front of everyone – I would miss out on snorkeling, and hanging out at the pool, and walking the beach together, and all the other reasons why we were going on this vacation in the first place.

It really is a matter of mind over matter. And just jumping in. Put on the bathing suit, participate, and after you do it the first time, the next time will be 10 times easier, and the time after that will be 20 times easier. And you’ll be happy and having fun. And so will your family and your friends.

Wearing your bathing suit will make you a great role model for your children or grandchildren as well!

Do you have a body image issue? What have you done to overcome it? How will you handle the next opportunity to wear your bathing suit? Do you really think the whole world will be looking at your thighs/arms/belly?

Eboni K. Williams’ White Tie Front Jumpsuit on Instastories

Real Housewives of New York Fashion 2021

I think we can all agree that Eboni K. Williams looks like a total catch in the white tie front jumpsuit she recently wore on a trip to Vegas. And that you should definitely scroll on down below to catch it right now before it completely falls off of the Revolve site. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Susana Monaco Jumpsuit in White or Black

Photo: @EboniKWilliams

Originally posted at: Eboni K. Williams’ White Tie Front Jumpsuit

At the onset of Covid, I don’t think that any of us dreamed that we would still be restricted by it over a year and a half later. I gave the whole situation three months tops… shows what I know. For those of you who had the foresight to invest in more leggings, another pair of slippers and robes for each day of the week… I congratulate you.

You were far more prepared than the rest of us. And the irony for those of us that had to scramble to purchase this new “never leave the house” wardrobe is that we had no way to purchase them other than online. In most cases, the online purchases worked out because oversized loungewear is an easy fit and no one will see them anyway.

Where Is My Attractive Self?

The only imagery of beautiful women in beautiful clothes came from endless hours of watching Netflix – not from my mirror. Watching these glamourous women having candlelit dinners in fancy restaurants or shopping with an equally fashionable friend was a stark reminder of my former attractive self.

Even at my age, I can still turn heads which requires being out in public. And at almost 60 years old, it requires a lot of work, but it’s still possible. I must admit that being confined to my humble abode made me feel less attractive due to not getting that outside validation. I certainly wasn’t going to get it during my weekly trip to the grocery store.

You don’t turn heads dressed in a baggy sweatshirt, fashionably paired with leggings from 2013. And to complete my daily Covid ensemble, I have worn the same pair of slip-on sneakers for 43 days straight. Another symptom of Covid… every day is exactly like the one before, so why change clothes?

The Dreaded “Quarantine 15”

In theory, being bored and homebound was the perfect opportunity to begin and succeed in a new workout routine. Preparation included exercise videos from YouTube paired with newly purchased workout attire which, of course, can be worn all day.

Our commitment was to dedicate this time to finally getting into shape. This would be the one bright spot to come from all of this. Eventually, we will emerge from the Covid cocoon 30 pounds lighter and excited to share it with the world.

But as most of us know, just like putting on make-up every day, exercise wasn’t done either. The reality is that 42% of Americans gained weight during Covid. Perhaps from the fattening restaurant delivered meals, because frankly, we couldn’t stand our own cooking anymore.

And let’s not forget about stress and the lure of much-needed comfort foods mere steps away in our pantry. Whatever the reason, if you gained weight, you are far from alone.

The Demise of Skincare Routines

The other self-care practice that went by the wayside was my skincare regimen. Before the pandemic, I was a faithful daily user of potions and lotions, including masks and other miracle elixirs. My anti-aging ritual was a top priority for putting my best face forward in the world.

But as time went on, my seven-step nightly regimen was cut shorter and shorter until eventually, I skipped it altogether. It got to the point that I evaded the huge magnification mirror in my bathroom out of fear of seeing what was really going on.

I think I justified not taking care of my skin partly due to not wearing any make-up. Why spend my time or money putting on “my face” when the only person who will see it is the Amazon delivery man, and I am pretty sure he is in way too much of a hurry delivering lounge wear to notice.

Camera Ready Tricks

For those working from home, we had to adopt what I call “from the waist-up professional look.” Many of us had to hop on digital calls or meetings looking polished and professional. This was a painstaking effort that, with time, was streamlined and perfected. Trust me; I was not the only woman to look professional up top with a party going on below.

The top look consists of a professional blouse, hair in a ponytail, and minimal make-up consisting of mascara and lipstick. The party below consisted of pajama bottoms, socks, or on a fancy day, cut-off jean shorts just in case the Amazon delivery man shows up yet again.

Missing Feeling Like a Woman

I don’t know about you, but I do miss feeling pretty. I miss getting gussied up and liking how I look and feel. I guess it’s true what they say… it’s the simple things in life. For me, I don’t seem to have the energy and time it takes to put in the effort to get ready.

Perhaps I have gotten so complacent or lazy that I dread the whole process. And that both concerns and puzzles me. I still run to the grocery store with no make-up and in my sweats. The only difference is, I am no longer wearing a mask.

And that allows people to see my face, and therefore, I should put some effort into it. I think that we have all gotten so used to effortless dressing, minimal upkeep, and feeling that appearances are just not that important anymore. For all our sakes, I hope this changes, and the sooner, the better.

Feeling beautiful is part of being feminine and something we should all enjoy as women. Hopefully, when things return to the “new” normal, the excitement of wearing a pair of new shoes or the thrill of perfectly placed eyeshadow will return. And we can all get back to a life that includes dressing up and feeling like the attractive, vivacious women that we really are.

What part of your beauty routine has changed due to Covid? Were you able to lose weight during the lockdown? Do you care about your appearance as much as you did before? Have you gotten fully back into your best self-care practices?

If you want to shop for The Ordinary, you can head to Ulta or Sephora or of course, online. But there’s something so exciting about being able to get your fave products from The Ordinary at Target. Because who doesn’t want to go on a Target run, like, all the time? While you’re there grabbing cat food, paper towels, sparkling water and a crop top or two, you can now grab The Ordinary’s affordable skincare at the same time. What can’t you get there?!

You can thank Ulta for bringing The Ordinary to Target. The Ulta Beauty at Target shop-in-shop is here, bringing skin, hair, makeup and fragrance to the retailer. According to WWD, the Ulta shops in Target will open in 100 locations next month and continue to roll out to 800 Target stores over the next few years.

Now, this isn’t just some little display. Target stores will have more than 50 Ulta brands in a huge Ulta-branded space. If you’re worried about your Ulta Rewards points, know that you’ll be able to grab both the Target Circle and Ultamate Rewards when shopping. So, it’s basically a no-brainer. You’ll be able to grab The Ordinary’s stellar acne solutions, dark spot products and niacinamide-infused faves. Oh, and there’s tons more. We got you started with some of our favorites from the brand, below.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

The Ordinary.

AHA 30% + BHA 2% Peeling Solution

The TikTok-favorite exfoliating facial solution targets uneven skin tone, fine lines and wrinkles and congested pores. It’s pretty intense so be sure to see your skin’s reaction with a spot test first.

The Ordinary.

Lactic Acid 10% + HA

This more gentle exfoliating solution is especially great for those dealing with uneven skin texture and dry spots.

The Ordinary.

Salicylic Acid 2% Masque

Banish breakouts with this balancing mask, which features salicylic acid, vegetable charcoal, Amazonian clays and squalane.

The Ordinary.

“Buffet”

Target signs of aging with this peptide-infused serum that helps to firm skin and reduce the look of wrinkles.

The Ordinary.

Squalane Cleanser

This moisturizing cleanser dissolves dirt and makeup without leaving the skin’s moisture barrier stripped and dry.

A version of this story was published July 21, 2021.