We have lived many
lifetimes and have so many stories. But sometimes stories elude us. We can’t
think of even one. No worries, here are five ways to launch your story.

Photographs

Browse an album of
photographs from your past and memories will stream out. This method comes with
a warning, though: browsing may induce story overload. You’ll end up with so
many stories and won’t know which one to pick/where to start. (And hours can
pass by!)

Pre-you photos can
trigger intense curiosity about your ancestors, setting off a desire to reach out
to elder relatives, the few left – to unearth
who, what, when, and why.

Photos from school
may bring back pangs of emotion which you may or may not wish to revisit just
now. Photos of little children, especially yours, may bring a smile, or a tear,
or both.

Be forewarned that looking
through photo albums brings streams of stories. The trick is to pick the first
photo that speaks to you and shut the album.

With the photograph
in front of you, start writing or talking into your phone or mind mapping or
doodling. Pick the medium that will best help you organize your thoughts.
Answer the who, what, why and when, and maybe even throw in a “what if.”

Passport

I used to love
looking at all the stamps of the different countries in my passport. Traveling
through Europe by train was the best as you could get three stamps from three
different countries overnight – ever more
impressive as the total number of countries visited grew. (It was all about
quantity when I was young).

In 1978, I arrived
in Milan on the eve of Aldo Moro’s assassination. The then prime minister of
Italy was kidnapped and, when his ransom was not paid, he was executed.

The story I would
tell is about my arrogance as a young woman, insisting on travelling to Italy
by myself because I had a free pass, which is another story. Everyone I knew
advised me against it. That night, soldiers were in the streets, I heard gun
shots and shouts.

It was terrifying.
The next morning, still bigheaded, I visited the Duomo. A man pinched my bottom
– yes, at the largest church in Italy!
Pinching bottoms was not unusual then, but he seemed sinister, and I imagined
him pouncing and worse. I left on the first train out.

What stories does
your passport tell?

Where Were You and What Were You Doing When…

I love the “where
were you” game. You could think of any historical fact, like, where were you
when the Beatles sang “I want to hold your hand”? Armstrong landed on the moon?
Charles married Di? Pac-Man was a hit? (Did you play it? Where? And with whom?)

When Armstrong
landed on the moon, my mother, my three siblings, and I, sat transfixed in
front of the TV. My jaw dropped.

My 13-year-old mind
tried to wrap around the idea that a white rocket travelled through all that darkness
to reach a pockmarked celestial object, which did not look anything like the
silver-white sphere in the sky at night.

To a 13-year-old living
in a third world nation in the 60s, everything on American television was
astounding. When I arrived in Los Angeles in the 80s, it was tricky to distinguish
reality from
fiction.

Some major events
are more memorable than others. Pick the first one you think of and share what
you were doing then. What is your story from the time of that event?

An Object, a Person, a Happening

Do you have a
memento sitting on your table or hanging on the wall next to you? Why do you
keep it?

With whom was your first kiss? The occasion may or may not be significant today, but what can you tell about who he was, and more importantly, who you were? What were your thoughts then? And what do you think of those thoughts now?

What was your
Woodstock? The wildest, craziest thing you did? With whom?

Hot Tub Time Machine

In the 2010 movie Hot
Tub Time Machine John Cusack and Chevy Chase travel back to the 60s in a
hot tub. You too can do this. Any place that relaxes you can be transportive.
When you are totally relaxed, blissful memories float. Or blissful projections.
Those are stories too.

Sometimes the
opposite can bring similar visions. When I’m at the dentist, and I’ve just been
given a shot in the gum, just before she removes my tooth, I imagine floating
in a calm, warm, salty sea.

I feel the waves
lapping on my arms, salt on my lips, the sun a yellow and red screen through my
closed eyelids. I remember my teenage years at the beach, alone, contemplating
God, or studying for an exam instead of attending school.

What do you see
when you are totally relaxed? When you drop your shoulders and let go, and your
body is soft and supple, as you breathe in and out, deep and slow, what story emerges?
Please share with our community!

By the time women hit their 60s, they have likely thrown away their last menstrual supplies and swapped for lubricants. Some may still have postmenopausal symptoms of fatigue, brain fog, headache, insomnia, irritability, and depression to name a few.

Yet despite the symptoms, we are a remarkable bunch. What women over sixty have is determination, dedication, and resourcefulness, having benefited from post war optimism. And let’s not forget the 60s’ “make love not war” movement.

Even if you survived the era never having burned your bra, you felt the change. Music told these stories in folk songs and popular bands crying out for social justice, freedom, originality. Voices like Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and The Beatles. In John Lennon’s song “Imagine,” he sums it up with his hopeful lyrics: “living for today” and “a brotherhood of people living life in peace.” Imagine that?

Feeling Better at 60 Is a Choice

No doubt he was a dreamer, but maybe he was onto something. Is it not a state of mind to decide, despite our internal and external circumstances, to find beauty for everyday living? Feeling better at sixty is a choice. We get to be dreamers and feel the excitement in a morning walk, a good song, and a soft kiss.

Our adventure of deciding to not give a hoot about someone else’s thoughts on our choice of clothing, if you skip retirement to start a new career, if you want to get that pixie cut already! What about finally silencing that critic inside that undercuts you. The revolution most needed is the shift out of what doesn’t serve you – like that girdle, trash that relic! It’s time to let it all hang out.

It Feels Good to Be You

In other words, what holds you back may be your own limiting and critical thoughts. Like an outdated girdle, self-criticism will squeeze the real you out and leave you feeling less than that adventurous and the genuine person you were born to be.

You may be tempted to need that constricting device and yet the choice is yours to let it go. The sensuality comes from relaxing into the rolls, wrinkles, batwings, and breathing into your imperfectly sensational self. The shift is the same choice you make when you take off your bra and let the girls free. It just feels good to be you.

A Relationship with Yourself

Imagine that intimacy and sensuality is more about having the confidence to declare you are the woman you want to be. I’ve always loved Diane Von Furstenberg for her spunk, not to mention her fabulous wrap dress. The Belgian design icon and philanthropist says it beautifully:

“Love is about relationships, yet the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Who else is with you at all times? Who else feels the pain when you are hurt? The shame when you are humiliated? Who can smile at your small satisfactions and laugh at your victories but you? Who understands your moments of fear and loneliness better? Who can console you better than you? You are the one who possesses the keys to your being. You carry the passport to your own happiness. You cannot have a good relationship with anyone, unless you first have it with yourself. Once you have that, any other relationship is a plus, and not a must.”

I Don’t Need to Be Perfect – And Neither Do You

Having an intimate relationship with myself has been an awkward tango of learning to leverage the stuff that made it tough to let myself relinquish the need to be perfect. It came with unrelenting self judgement and a keen lack of insight into my rigid behaviors.

Therapy helped me to take all that “stuff’ and convert it to resilience and growth. I discovered my need to be perfect was code for please don’t see my broken wings. Now I often tell myself I’m perfectly imperfect, and I love the woman that I am.

It took a few tears and an honest desire, to see each day as the “first day of the rest of my life.” Life is too short for me to lose time aggravated that my thighs are on their way to look like the inside of a coffin. More importantly, I have little patience for wasting my time by not being genuine.

I’ve learned it is o.k. to state an opinion, and I won’t turn to dust if someone doesn’t agree. I’m liking the image in the mirror and being daring with my choices. Who cares if someone else doesn’t like my funky shoes if I do?

Treating Ourselves with Kindness

The women I speak to struggle with still not being comfortable being themselves. The adventurous side within us takes risks and rolls with the uncertainty. She finds the courage to take all she’s learned and experienced and come out all the better for it.

After all, at this age, there isn’t a lot that is certain besides paying taxes and death. The women who are most resilient have learned to be kind to themselves.

Despite all the transitions, they have arrived at kicking the futile sport of arguing with their wrinkles, the bathroom scale and creepy skin. It’s not the diet, or the bottled creams that give women their emotional pep, it’s all in the belief that they rock despite all the changes.

An Opportunity to Shift Your Perspective

They learn to quiet the obnoxious critical thoughts and leverage their resourcefulness. Yet there’s a silver lining in all that firm skin gone south and the crow’s feet. It’s an opportunity for a mindset shift.

Your aging beauty is your badge of honor. You earned it, wear it with pride. You’ve lived through a ton of difficult, challenging, and amazing experiences. They are yours, celebrate them and choose to love the sixty, sexy, sensational woman you choose to be.

The external evidence of aging doesn’t mean we need to slide into a cozy couch and wait. It’s fuel for us to get our stuff together and make the shift already. Like the Beatles song, “Blackbird”:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

What changes have you made to create your most sexy and sensational self? What has helped you make mindset shifts towards less self-critical thinking? What do you do to feel sexy and sensational?

Kristin Cavallari’s Plaid Shacket on Her Instastories

Kristin Cavallari 2021 Instagram Fashion

When you put a shirt and a jacket together you get a shacket. When you put a shacket with anything you get a suuuuper cute outfit. For example Kristin Cavallari’s plaid shacket on her Instastories. So cute and perfect for any fall outings like a sports game. But no matter where you wear it this plaid shacket and the Style Stealers below are total #goals.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her IRO Shacket

Photo Credit: @kristincavallari

Originally posted at: Kristin Cavallari’s Plaid Shacket

I recently had some dental work done and the oral surgeon told me I would need to be on a liquid diet for a while. My first thought was literally “yuck” as I imagined my meals being nothing more exciting or appetizing than bouillon and gelatin.

After talking more with my dentist and doing some research, I realized I had been confusing a “clear liquid diet” with a “full liquid diet.” The former, which I am sure you are familiar with, is what we follow for a day or so to prepare for a medical procedure such a colonoscopy. With this diet, everything is clear to ensure there is nothing in our digestive tract that can interfere with the results of the procedure.

Examples of what are included in this diet are apple juice, clear gelatin, water, bland broths and clear sports drinks. Definitely not something most of us could follow for more than a day or so.

The Full Liquid Diet

What I needed was a “full liquid diet.” As you can imagine, this type of liquid or non-solid diet allows us to enjoy foods with all sorts of colors and flavors. Done correctly, it ensures we are giving our bodies the nutrients they need to stay healthy. And given the importance of staying hydrated, water is, of course, both allowed and encouraged.

This type of diet is not meant as a long-term eating program and should only be followed for as long as your doctor prescribes, which is usually no more than a few weeks.

And, in case you are wondering, liquid diets can lead to weight loss.

Who May Need a Full Liquid Diet?

You may need to follow a full liquid diet in the following instances:

• After weight loss surgery before you can return to eating solid foods.
• If you have broken bones in your jaw or mouth and they need time to heal.
• When you are recovering from pancreatitis.
• If you have problems swallowing (otherwise known as dysphagia).
• After gastrointestinal surgery.
• If you have gastrointestinal diseases or conditions that could benefit from a “break” from solid food.

If you need to go on a liquid diet, be sure to have your list of questions ready for your doctor. Among them, you may want to include the following:

• How long will I need to follow this diet?
• Are there any risks I should be aware of?
• How many calories should I be sure I am getting every day?
• How many times a day should I be drinking my diet?
• Are there foods I should avoid or be sure to include?

How to Maximize Nutritional Value

Once I realized that I had a wide variety of foods that already are liquid or can readily be liquified in a food processor or blender, I looked at how I could make sure I was getting the right nutrients that my body needed.

This is very important as we get older since our nutritional needs change over time along with our body’s ability to absorb the nutrients from the food we eat. And since we also need fewer calories, the ones we do consume necessarily need to be as nutrient dense as possible – even in liquid form.

The easiest way to get all the nutrients in “drinkable meals” is to plan them the same way you plan your solid meals. Always remember that your body needs a combination of six nutrients to stay healthy. They are carbohydrates, protein, water, vitamins, minerals and fats. Each of these nutrients should be included in your liquid diet meals.

And if you have had a recent nutrient test, you will also know which nutrients you need to pay special attention to in order to meet your specific needs. Doing so is not as difficult as you may think. In fact, you may – as I did – find it fun and challenging to come up with recipes to keep the “drinkable meals” interesting, appetizing and healthful.

Here are some of the ingredients I used for my liquid meals to ensure I was getting all nutrient groups. You should definitely add your own based on your individual situation and tastes.

Protein

Your first thought here may be to just add protein powder to your liquid meal. This would definitely help you reach your protein goals, but it does come with some caveats. The first is many commercially available protein powders have been found to have contaminants, including arsenic, lead, mercury and cadmium.

These products may also contain ingredients that many of us may have allergies to, including soy, whey, rice, eggs, peas and hemp. Many protein powders also are made with artificial colors and flavorings as well as corn syrups and added sugars.

As the saying goes, caveat emptor and be sure to carefully read labels. I recommend whole, natural ingredients such as almonds, yogurt, eggs and egg whites, sea moss, pureed meats and beans, chia seeds and avocados as your protein source.

Vitamins and Minerals

Include a serving of fresh fruits and vegetables in each liquid meal to help ensure that you are getting your vitamins and minerals. You should also feel free to be adventurous! One food you may want to try, which is very popular in the Caribbean where I am from, is sea moss. In addition to being a good protein source, it also contains such important nutrients as calcium, iron, magnesium, phosphorous, potassium, folate (also known as vitamin B9), and iodine.

Fats (Especially Essential Fatty Acids)

You can get dietary fats, including essential fatty acids, by including these foods in your liquid diet: avocados; plant oils (such as flaxseed oil, canola oil, or soybean oil) and nut butters (peanut butter is great in a breakfast or desert shake).

Carbohydrates

Carbohydrates are a critical nutrient and perhaps even more so when you consider their importance in helping ensure your liquid diet is providing you with enough calories. Some carbohydrate-rich foods that I included in my liquid diet were bananas, sweet potatoes and quinoa.

Water

In addition to keeping you hydrated, water is the perfect base for your liquid meal. You also can use cow’s milk, or nut milks such as almond milk, both of which are also good nutrient sources. Another great option is coconut water.

Keep in mind that you can prepare your “drinkable meals” in a variety of ways. In my case, I included smoothies, soups and purees. I also mixed and matched them depending on the meal my family was eating so that I could join them at table and not feel left out. So, a dinner, for example, could be a nice, chilled soup followed by pureed and strained vegetables with a fruit smoothie for dessert.

What about Drinking Some Meals and Eating Others?

Again, keep in mind that a full liquid diet is not meant to be long term and that you will be back on solid foods in a relatively short amount of time. That said, if you’re like me, you may discover that you liked coming up with recipes for a drinkable meal and now you want to incorporate them into your regular diet.

The good news is that it is perfectly fine to do so as long as you use them to supplement or complement your heathy diet. I found that a fruit and vegetable smoothie is a great mid-morning or mid-afternoon snack. If you like this idea, be sure to talk with your doctor or another competent healthcare practitioner about the best way to do this including whether it would be okay to replace any solid meals with liquid ones.

Have you ever had to follow a liquid diet for any reason? What was your experience? Do you ever prepare “drinkable meals” as a snack or as a solid meal replacement? If so, did you talk with your doctor or another competent healthcare provider before doing so? Please join the conversation.

Dorit Kemsley’s Charcoal Under Eye Masks

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 11 Reunion Beauty

While we aren’t totally sure if this is an exact match for Dorit Kemsley’s charcoal under eye masks- we do know of a similar pair worn by another fav celeb. Kristin Cavallari actually rocked these very affordable charcoal activating eye masks in the past. But whether Dorit happened to be using the same product or not, they all do the same trick. And after having our eyes glued to the TV for Part 1 of the RHOBH last night they could use a little TLC from an under eye mask.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click here to Shop Masks Like Dorit’s Seen on Kristin Cavallari

Click Here to See Other Eye Masks Loved By Our Fav Celebs

Photo #2 Credit: @kristincavallari

Originally posted at: Dorit Kemsley’s Charcoal Under Eye Masks