“Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.”

— Mark Twain in “What Paul Bourget Thinks of Us”

Does this sound impossible to do? How can I giggle while I’m getting rid of things I’ve had for a very long time and have been important to me? What’s joyful about getting rid of my kids’ favorite toys? There’s no way I can smile as I trash album after album of our family’s pictures.

Right. There are some aspects to a major home downsizing that just can’t be funny. And there are other things that can be if we remain open to that possibility.

My Experience with Outdated Belongings

Several years ago, while I was going through downsizing from a very large house to a very small apartment, I discovered an entire box of heavy notebooks that I had used in a job I’d had 25 years earlier.

Everything was totally out of date. Even if I’d wanted to use some of the material again, I wouldn’t have been able to without major updating, which would have taken longer than starting from scratch.

I also found a box of index cards that contained research notes I had gathered hour after hour in the card catalogue at a local university library. Card catalogue! Probably everyone readying this blog will know what I’m talking about, but our children – and certainly their children – would not.

I found it really amusing that I could reconstruct and even greatly enhance that research in at most two days’ time using Google.

Finding Amusement in Unexpected Places

After a while I even found it funny that I was being really snippy with people I’m usually very polite and patient with. My snide, curt responses became sort of funny to me. And then I’d have to go back and apologize, but it was amusing to me at the time.

Does this make any sense to you? It seems to me that there are many things in life that we need to take seriously. Serious, yes. Solemn, no.

In the midst of many difficult times, if we’re open to it, we will find things that actually are funny, and, as Twain says, “all our hardnesses yield all our irritations and resentments flit away.”

What can we do to try and keep our sense of humor while getting rid of treasured things? For starters, it’s probably best not to even try when we’re working with our truly most treasured things.

There are many things I had to donate or sell that were very important to me, and I could not have laughed about those things. But those “truly treasured things” were a fraction of everything I eliminated from my home.

Laugh with the Items that Look Archaic

So, don’t focus on those special things. Instead, focus on those way-out-of-date things that you’re surprised are even still there. Believe me, for most of us there will be many, many of those things.

At a talk I gave to an organization on downsizing your home, a man in the audience described finding a box of copy books from his grade school days. When he first described that box, he was fairly serious.

As we talked about it, it became funnier and funnier that he still had those copy books that he hadn’t looked at for at least 40 years. By the time he sat down, everyone in the audience was laughing, and I think their laugher had at least as much to do with their identifying with him as it did with his story.

You also might watch for patterns to what you saved and what you didn’t. For example, do you still have every single trophy or ribbon you ever won in your life – even a blue ribbon for that cherry pie you baked when you were 11?

Do you still have all the sports memorabilia from when your children played baseball or soccer or whatever? Or what about the plastic whatchamacallits from the family trips you took when your children were growing up?

Just Think About It

Now, all that is pretty funny if you really think about it, especially if you’re surprised that it’s still there, which means you haven’t seen it for years.

I am certainly not suggesting that a major downsizing of your home is a fun event. What I am saying is that there will be many funny or at least amusing moments if you’ll just remain open to them. And if you do, the whole process will be just a bit lighter.

While I believe that is very true, downsizing your home can be challenging, or even painful, so consider providing yourself with some extra support.

Ask a non-judgmental friend to help you. Explain to them the importance of recognizing times that could be humorous during the process. Or consider hiring a coach like myself to help you.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

For any of you who have completed a major downsizing, I’d love to hear about how you were able to keep your sense of humor and how, at times, it helped. And for those of you who are contemplating such a process, what can you do to remind yourself of the importance of finding humorous things? Please share your thoughts below.

No one walks away unchanged from transitional moments in life. Some changes are easy to recognize and others not so much.

The changes that are unconscious are not only more difficult to spot, but they are also the ones that unknowingly influence you the most later in life.

Knowing how you changed following transitional moments plays a big role in creating new opportunities to fulfill your desires after 60.

This is where your character arc comes in.

In this third of a four-part series on the “Six Simple Steps to Change the Narrative of Your Life After 60”, we are going to explore your character arc, which is the fifth step.

What Is a Character Arc?

To create new opportunities and fulfill your desires in 2023 you will want to know what your character arc is.

During my training as a professional actor, I began seeing the correlation of storytelling in Hollywood to the stories that unconsciously direct our lives.

The first and most important connection I made in this was understanding my own life story and what my personal character arc was. To do this I had to get clear on the throughline of my life, which I will share more about later in the article.

What is a character arc?

A character arc is when a character in a story, specifically the main character, undergoes an inner transformation that in turn transforms her outer world.

By the end of every story, the main character has learned valuable lessons resulting from transitional circumstances they went through in the story.

The Arc of Your Life Story

Being aware of your character arc can lead to huge breakthroughs at any stage of your life, especially when you want to change your life narrative.

For many people over 60, what gets in the way of changing the narrative are fixed beliefs about themselves and life in general. Most of these are limiting beliefs.

To change your narrative, and thus, letting go of limiting beliefs, begins with the stories you tell yourself and those you tell others.

These are not just any stories.

They are stories about subjects and areas of life you seek improvement in but may not believe are attainable.

For example, if you want to see improvements in your finances, romantic partnership, health, or even the conditions of the world, how will any of these areas improve if you keep telling the same narrative about them?

This is where you begin to create a new character arc in 2023.

What Is Your Dominant Throughline?

The arc of any story begins with a pivotal event that serves as a catalyst for a series of transitional moments that create personal transformation. To uncover what this is for you requires an understanding of your dominant throughline.

The arc of your life story is comprised of several significant transitions. Each one has a unique theme. Despite the uniqueness of these themes and transitions, a dominant theme remains.

This dominant theme is your throughline.

Your throughline frames the overall narrative of your life’s story and determines your character arc.

Your Character Arc

To help you obtain clarity for the narrative of your life, think of your life’s throughline as a pitch for a movie that sums up the essence of your story.

In this story you are the main character.

Here’s my throughline, which described my life up to my mother’s passing:

• Believing she was not good enough, Joanie lived to please others, ultimately learning she pleased no one, including herself.

My outdated narrative and limiting beliefs to that point in my life formed my dominant throughline. I believed I was an outsider and not good enough to be, do, and have what I desired.

The younger character of Joanie acted out this theme by trying to please others at the expense of her own fulfillment.

Despite the success I achieved with my business and acting, I couldn’t see past the stories I was telling myself. That is because my outer reality was reflecting these themes back to me, further reinforcing the validity of my limiting beliefs.

Mind you, I did not initially see my beliefs as limiting.

So, what changed?

The Transition to Your True Self

At the time of my mother’s passing, my business and personal life went through monumental changes.

It was the perfect storm of transition.

The only way I could survive was to tell a new story because my life was no longer what it once was.

Rather than find people to commiserate with or remain locked into battle with my inner critic over what I was worthy of, I took control of my life from the inside out.

Calling on some of my actor training, I applied my natural gift of storytelling to create the character I always dreamed of playing.

This became my true, authentic self.

Here’s my throughline, which described my life after my mother’s passing:

• Discovering self-love as her superpower, Joanie accepted she is worthy of being valued and now confidently shares her gifts with others.

Today, I do not look to the outside world to define who I am.

At long last, I am my own best friend. That is good enough for me because she is good enough.

To help integrate what you are learning, join me in the companion video for this article. I share additional insights and guide you through four journal prompts and an action item to assist you in creating your new character arc in 2023.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What throughline describes your life today? How has that changed for you through the years? Has there been a major event that redefined your character arc?

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

If you’re someone who chooses to hibernate more during the colder months, there’s no better time to start a new project. Whether that’s beginning your tretinoin journey to reduce acne, setting aside more self-care (or self-pleasure) time, or working to increase hair growth on a thinning scalp, we’ve got you covered. Back to the latter: We’re basically pros at this point on finding the highest-rated growth formulas out there, and the Paisle Botanics Biotin Spray is the latest to land on our radar. 

First off, the under-$20 spray has earned a 4.3 approval rating from Amazon shoppers, with over 2,500 five-star ratings to boot. Considering the wide inventory of growth products the retailer carries, this under-the-radar product has made quite an impact for itself. And we’re here for it, especially since it’s incredibly easy to use.

Amazon

Described by the brand as an “instant hair thickening spray,” the formula is able to boost volume in a “matter of seconds.” All you need to do is spray it evenly onto damp hair and blow dry to see your results. While these instantaneous effects are great in a pinch, whether you’ve got a special event or regularly go into an office, we know the people also crave long-term results. Luckily, the spray contains ingredients like biotin and caffeine which target hair follicles that are routinely thinning or falling out and may contribute to fuller, thicker locks overtime. 

While this is a leave-in spray, you won’t find it weighs down your strands in the slightest. It was “carefully crafted to be lightweight” and sans any sticky residue, so you can confidently spray and go about your day. Oh, and it’s perfectly safe to use on color treated hair, too.

RELATED: Ulta’s Huge Skincare Sale Includes Half Off Zitsticka, Murad, CosRX & More

Shoppers of all ages are praising it. “This has been the best product for my hair. So if I can grow some hair when I am 71 years young, you can too,” wrote one.

“My hair was almost completely gone in the front of my head,” shared another. “I have been using the product for about 6 months. I spray it on before I get in the shower. Now the bald spots have new growth. Even my stylist asked me what I was using. I am very happy with results I have experienced after using this product.”

Whenever a professional stylist is intrigued, we can’t help but think a product is the real deal. Shop it for less than $20 on Amazon right now.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

If you’re someone who chooses to hibernate more during the colder months, there’s no better time to start a new project. Whether that’s beginning your tretinoin journey to reduce acne, setting aside more self-care (or self-pleasure) time, or working to increase hair growth on a thinning scalp, we’ve got you covered. Back to the latter: We’re basically pros at this point on finding the highest-rated growth formulas out there, and the Paisle Botanics Biotin Spray is the latest to land on our radar. 

First off, the under-$20 spray has earned a 4.3 approval rating from Amazon shoppers, with over 2,500 five-star ratings to boot. Considering the wide inventory of growth products the retailer carries, this under-the-radar product has made quite an impact for itself. And we’re here for it, especially since it’s incredibly easy to use.

Amazon

Described by the brand as an “instant hair thickening spray,” the formula is able to boost volume in a “matter of seconds.” All you need to do is spray it evenly onto damp hair and blow dry to see your results. While these instantaneous effects are great in a pinch, whether you’ve got a special event or regularly go into an office, we know the people also crave long-term results. Luckily, the spray contains ingredients like biotin and caffeine which target hair follicles that are routinely thinning or falling out and may contribute to fuller, thicker locks overtime. 

While this is a leave-in spray, you won’t find it weighs down your strands in the slightest. It was “carefully crafted to be lightweight” and sans any sticky residue, so you can confidently spray and go about your day. Oh, and it’s perfectly safe to use on color treated hair, too.

RELATED: Ulta’s Huge Skincare Sale Includes Half Off Zitsticka, Murad, CosRX & More

Shoppers of all ages are praising it. “This has been the best product for my hair. So if I can grow some hair when I am 71 years young, you can too,” wrote one.

“My hair was almost completely gone in the front of my head,” shared another. “I have been using the product for about 6 months. I spray it on before I get in the shower. Now the bald spots have new growth. Even my stylist asked me what I was using. I am very happy with results I have experienced after using this product.”

Whenever a professional stylist is intrigued, we can’t help but think a product is the real deal. Shop it for less than $20 on Amazon right now.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

If you’re someone who chooses to hibernate more during the colder months, there’s no better time to start a new project. Whether that’s beginning your tretinoin journey to reduce acne, setting aside more self-care (or self-pleasure) time, or working to increase hair growth on a thinning scalp, we’ve got you covered. Back to the latter: We’re basically pros at this point on finding the highest-rated growth formulas out there, and the Paisle Botanics Biotin Spray is the latest to land on our radar. 

First off, the under-$20 spray has earned a 4.3 approval rating from Amazon shoppers, with over 2,500 five-star ratings to boot. Considering the wide inventory of growth products the retailer carries, this under-the-radar product has made quite an impact for itself. And we’re here for it, especially since it’s incredibly easy to use.

Amazon

Described by the brand as an “instant hair thickening spray,” the formula is able to boost volume in a “matter of seconds.” All you need to do is spray it evenly onto damp hair and blow dry to see your results. While these instantaneous effects are great in a pinch, whether you’ve got a special event or regularly go into an office, we know the people also crave long-term results. Luckily, the spray contains ingredients like biotin and caffeine which target hair follicles that are routinely thinning or falling out and may contribute to fuller, thicker locks overtime. 

While this is a leave-in spray, you won’t find it weighs down your strands in the slightest. It was “carefully crafted to be lightweight” and sans any sticky residue, so you can confidently spray and go about your day. Oh, and it’s perfectly safe to use on color treated hair, too.

RELATED: Ulta’s Huge Skincare Sale Includes Half Off Zitsticka, Murad, CosRX & More

Shoppers of all ages are praising it. “This has been the best product for my hair. So if I can grow some hair when I am 71 years young, you can too,” wrote one.

“My hair was almost completely gone in the front of my head,” shared another. “I have been using the product for about 6 months. I spray it on before I get in the shower. Now the bald spots have new growth. Even my stylist asked me what I was using. I am very happy with results I have experienced after using this product.”

Whenever a professional stylist is intrigued, we can’t help but think a product is the real deal. Shop it for less than $20 on Amazon right now.