Month: February 2024

Life has a way of throwing curveballs. Perhaps you are married, but your spouse has dementia or a serious illness. You are still independent and healthy and taking care of your spouse. But, if you ever need help, who will be there for you? Maybe your children moved away or, for reasons beyond your control, you just cannot count on them to be there for you. Suddenly, you find yourself in a position you never expected, planning on aging alone.

As an Elder Law Attorney in Boston, Massachusetts, I have helped many seniors without family to rely upon. Planning makes all the difference to ensure your wishes are honored and protect your dignity.  

One of my clients, Ellen, never thought she would be alone. She came from a big Italian family, with three sisters who all lived near each other. When Ellen and her sisters got older, she was the one who took care of everyone. As each of her sisters needed more help she cared for them. Eventually, she was the last one living.

Ellen put together a solid plan for her own future. She found a trustworthy professional to serve as her fiduciary and help her navigate her life as her needs changed, and she executed estate planning documents to make her wishes and instructions known. This planning ensured that her wishes were honored during her life and that her legacy was fulfilled after she died.

If you are planning aging alone, are you prepared for the future? Here are a few tips to get started:

Who Will Show Up?

Think about who will show up when you need them. Perhaps you have a friend or neighbor who you can count on to help you out in small ways, but you can only expect them to do so much. If you ever need assistance with managing your health care needs or finances, you may need to hire professionals.

For example, Geriatric Care Managers can help coordinate the care that you need. Health Care Advocates can help you face a difficult medical diagnosis and weigh your options, so you are not alone. Professional fiduciaries can be ready to make medical, financial, and legal decisions and hire people to help you have the best quality of life possible.

Daily money managers and financial advisors can support you in keeping your finances organized and on track. Now is the time to identify and build a support team of allies ready to step in and help you in case there is a crisis, or you start to need more help. It will be too late once a crisis happens. Who will be on your team? If you don’t know where to start, www.SoloAllies.com includes a nationwide directory of trustworthy professionals ready to support you.

Will Your Home Work if Your Needs Change?

Perhaps you want to stay in your own home for as long as you possibly can. If so, take steps now to prepare your home in case your needs change in the future, by making any needed repairs or renovations. A first-floor bathroom will be important if you plan on aging in place.

As scary as a big move may be, it may be better to move to a community where you are not alone. There are many housing options for seniors, from independent living communities to assisted living facilities to co-housing communities. Consider what would be the best fit for your needs and preferences. If you are interested in exploring your options, a senior living advisor can help you learn more about the options in your area and help you find the right fit for you.

Do You Have Legal Documents?

Ensure you have legal documents in place to protect you. At a minimum, this includes a will, a power of attorney, and a healthcare directive. An elder law attorney can help you understand what documents you need and help you set them up. Without the right documents in place, you could lose control and a stranger could be appointed as your guardian.

Becoming a solo senior may not have been what you expected, but with the right support and resources, you can age on your own terms and ensure your wishes are honored. It is important to have a plan in place for now that is good enough. It does not need to be perfect.

It is important to review your plan and make sure the members of your team are still the right choice, at least once per year or as your needs change. You can always make changes as life unfolds. You don’t need to figure this out by yourself.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

If you are planning on aging alone, what are your concerns about making sure you are prepared for the future? Would you like to hear more about planning for your future? Let’s get a conversation started. There are many creative ways to approach planning for the future, and I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas, and feedback.

Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventure” ® books by Chooseco? What if we looked at our post-fulltime life like that? After all, there are phases to retirement – from honeymoon to disenchantment to reorientation. Sometimes, there is no honeymoon, and we experience concern and confusion about what to do. It seems like “choose your own” is a mindset that could help us navigate the retirement journey with all its twists and turns.

Freedom to Choose

Do you ever find yourself looking around to see how others are handling life after fulltime work? Using our book analogy, that is like finding out what others are reading. It doesn’t mean that you will like the book! Of course, exploring to get ideas is a good thing. The trick is to not assume others have the key that will work for you. You could use the “choose your own adventure” chapter approach to consider your options and what is appealing.

For example, you could simply imagine or write down on paper some of the key areas you want to include in your retirement life. Perhaps draw from the four Vitality Domains© – Well-being, Mindset, Community and Purpose – as a starting point. Use whatever topics feel right to you.

Let’s imagine you want an adventure that includes relationships/community. What is your first option to begin the adventure? Maybe you choose group involvement or opt for having a few intimate friends approach. Then, follow the thread you chose to the next possibility. If you selected the adventure with a few intimate friends, next choose what you are doing with them.

One possibility could be walking/talking friendships, another might be friends with whom you connect for activities, like theater and travel. Doing this takes you on an exploration of possibility. Can you see how your decision at each option point provides the context for the next chapter? Suddenly, you may realize what you truly want!

What choices feel exciting? Which feel dreary? Watch out for making choices based on what we once imagined retirement “should” be like! I don’t think there is a Choose Your Own Adventure® book written with options for decline and limitations! The point is to nurture a mindset of doing what you can with what you have.

Fluid Storyline

Part of the delight of the “Choose Your Own Adventure®” books is that you can restart them and read a very different story based on new choices. In terms of navigating retirement, the advantage of choosing a different story may serve you at two different junctures. The first is at the end of the “honeymoon” phase and you know it is time to try a different approach. Another instance is when there is a significant shift in your life – health, marriage, move – that completely changes your life context.

The gift of deciding to choose your own adventure is that it is forward looking. It can represent growth, adaptation, and hope at a time when you might feel discouraged. Having the “choose your adventure” approach in your retirement mindset toolkit can provide a safety net when the unexpected happens.

Feeling Empowered

The charm of the “Choose Your Own Adventure®” books is that you have the option to keep the story fresh. You are in control, just as you are in life. It supports an experimental approach to retirement. How freeing! You don’t have to arrive at one ‘right’ approach.

It might be that you choose to focus on your physiological and psychological health for a period. Once you feel satisfied in that regard, you can begin the adventure again with new choices. Or perhaps you begin to go down one path and suddenly don’t like how the story is unfolding. Guess what? You can go back and make different choices!

Consider taking a “mind adventure” for yourself every couple of years to sense if there are adjustments you want to make. Remember that today many of us will be retired for as long as we worked! So, why not allow yourself to experience this phase of life to the fullest, with all its opportunity and freedom.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What comes up for you if you look at your life from a “Live Your Own Adventure” point of view? How have you navigated the phases of retirement life? What adventures are you conjuring right now?

Click Here for Additional Stock in Her Leggings / Here for More Stock / Here for Even More Stock

Click Here for Additional Stock in Her Sneakers / Here for More Stock

Click Here for Additional Stock in Her Socks

Photo: @brynn_whitfield

Originally posted at: Brynn Whitfield’s Black Leggings