Month: July 2025

“It makes my skin feel so plump.”

“It makes my skin feel so plump.”

After my last post, I was deeply moved by how many women reached out to share their stories of getting divorced in their 60s.

Some felt pushed out – that was my story. Others chose divorce themselves. Some waited until it felt too late. A few were still on the fence.

But what came through in every message was the same: bravery, strength, and hard-earned wisdom. There’s no single path through this life change – but if you’re walking it, you’re not alone.

The New Divorce Trend No One Warns You About

Did you know that divorce rates among older adults are now the highest of any age group? Meanwhile, divorce among younger people is actually declining.

I found this shocking – until I became part of the statistic myself.

Everything Felt Upended

I didn’t know where I would live. I didn’t know how to handle the financial logistics. I was overwhelmed.

We had saved responsibly, but I hadn’t planned for the hidden costs of divorce: moving, furnishing a new home, redoing all the little things you take for granted in a shared life.

Emotionally, I was reeling. And the fear – the fear of being alone, of getting it all wrong – made it hard to think clearly.

Besides being heartbroken, I didn’t know how to begin picking up the pieces. But in the midst of that confusion, I found a few simple strategies that helped me breathe again. I offer them in case they might help you too.

1. Talk to Friends – Even When You’d Rather Hide

Many of us feel shame around divorce. Even if we were the ones who asked for it, we can carry a sense of failure.

That shame makes us go silent. But connection is what heals us.

I pushed myself to talk to friends. To name my fears. To tell the truth. And I felt lighter each time I did.

We heal trauma by telling our stories – sometimes over and over again. That’s not weakness. That’s the brain processing.

Friends may get tired of the repetition. (It’s okay – they love you.) Rotate friends if you need to. Don’t exhaust them – but don’t disappear either.

You’ll start to notice who leaves you feeling supported and who leaves you feeling small. Lean into the people who hold space for your pain, not the ones who judge it.

2. Ask for Help (Yes, Even with the Dishes)

Divorce doesn’t just break your heart – it disrupts your routines.

Cooking, paying bills, cleaning out closets – it all feels like too much at first. I remember standing in the middle of my new apartment, thinking, I don’t even know where to begin.

If someone offers help, say yes. That’s hard for some of us. But this is the time to let love in.

You won’t always feel this foggy. But while you do, every bit of practical help matters.

3. Therapy and Support Groups Are Gifts – Not Last Resorts

I’m a therapist, so yes – I believe in therapy. But even if I weren’t, I’d say this: talking to someone who is trained to listen can make all the difference.

Therapy is a space where you don’t have to be brave. Where you can grieve without apology. Where your story gets to be the whole story.

Support groups, especially those led by therapists, can be equally powerful. You’ll be surprised how much lighter the burden feels when you share it with others walking the same path.

My Lifeline: Morning Pages

Each morning, I wrote three pages by hand – first thing, before distractions or doubts could take over.

Some mornings, I wrote: “This is ridiculous. I have nothing to say.” Other days, I made lists. Sometimes I just vented. Sometimes I cried.

This ritual, called Morning Pages, comes from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. It’s not about writing anything profound.

It’s about showing up for yourself. Clearing the mental clutter. Letting your deeper voice speak – maybe for the first time in years.

It didn’t solve everything. But it helped me hear myself again. It helped me calm down, take the next step, and remember: I am still here.

You’re Not Alone. Let’s Keep Talking.

If you’re in the thick of a major life change – divorce, grief, reinvention – I hope something here speaks to you.

These are just a few tools that helped me. Maybe you’ve found others.

Let’s Reflect Together:

What helped you get through your hardship (be it divorce, loss or something else)? Or what are you still trying to figure out? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments. We are stronger together than we are alone.

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Originally posted at: Jennifer Pedranti’s Black Floral Dress

Do any of you wonder why we are still being told what makeup, clothes or colors to wear now that we’re over 50? Not a day goes by where I don’t see a YouTube video title such as: “Don’t Wear These Colors After 50” or “Don’t Wear this Makeup after 50.”

Ladies, isn’t life simply too short not to wear what will make us happy just because of someone else’s pronouncement of what’s right or wrong for us?

So today, we’re going to focus on 4 false beauty rules that those of us over 50 should simply stop believing.

False Beauty Rule #1

The first false beauty rule says that we shouldn’t wear colorful eyeshadow. Most of us probably do feel more comfortable wearing neutral colored eyeshadow. I love neutral shades as well and wear them often. Sometimes I think just the thought of wearing more colorful eyeshadow can be a bit intimidating for some of us which I think is why we may shy away from it.

However, wearing colorful eyeshadow offers us the opportunity for creativity, experimentation, and the creation of a unique personal style. Most importantly, it’s a way to have fun with makeup and express ourselves. So, if you’d like to give it a try and perhaps break out of your comfort zone a bit – but don’t want to go too overboard with color, I want to share with you 5 ways you can make colorful eyeshadow quite wearable and four ways to wear it.

How to Make Colorful Eyeshadow More Wearable

Pair Color with Neutrals

Tip #1 is to pair one colorful eyeshadow with a neutral color. For instance, as you’ll see in the video, I might take a neutral shade from my NYX Ultimate Vintage Jean Baby palette and pair it with a blue. In fact, this is something I often do and it’s a look I love.

Go Light to Medium

Tip #2 is to choose a light to medium colorful eyeshadow. That is, instead of choosing a deep blue from the NYX palette, I might go with a lighter blue.

Choose the Right Location

Tip #3 is to place the colorful eye shadow in a strategic location. And we’ll talk about this option in just a minute.

Brush Matters

Tip #4 is to use different brushes to get different color impact. For instance, if I use a softer, less dense brush I’ll end up applying far less color so the result will be softer. However, if I use a denser brush to apply the color, the color will look much more saturated.

Mixing Colors

And tip #5 is to mix together two colors that you might not normally use to get another color that’s softer. For instance, I’ll use a gorgeous purple from the Juvia’s Place Warrior III palette and pat a gold shade from the Juvia’s Place Warrior Palette over it.

4 Ways to Wear Colorful Eyeshadow

But if you’re thinking to yourself: “But how can I actually wear these colors?” that’s where tip #3 I mentioned above comes into play. So here are four strategic locations where we can place colorful eyeshadow that will look beautifully wearable and which I’ll demonstrate in the video:

1. Place the color just along the upper lash line.
2. Place the color just along the outer 1/3 of the lower lash line or along both the outer 1/3 of the lower lash line and the upper lash line.
3. The third strategic location is just on the outer part of the eyelid.
4. And the fourth option is to place the color all over the lid, but I’ll apply it very lightly with a fluffy brush so I get less pigment.

False Beauty Rule #2

Now let’s move on to false beauty rule number two which is that we shouldn’t wear metallic or shimmery eyeshadow on our eyelids. If we love sparkly or shimmery eyeshadow, we can absolutely wear it over our entire eyelid. But we should at least be aware of the color theory that applies here.

Through color theory we know that any time we wear a color that’s shimmery or metallic, it draws attention to that area. Since many of us have developed crepiness on our eyelids, shimmer or metallic eyeshadows will draw attention to that skin. This may or may not be something you’re concerned about, and you may just love the look of shimmer across your entire lid.

But if you’d prefer not to draw attention to that area, one option is to just place the shimmer or metallic eyeshadow in the center of the eyelid. The shimmer will give some added emphasis to the eye, but it won’t bring as much attention to any crepiness we might have over our entire eyelid.

Be sure to check out Elise’s YouTube channel which specifically focuses on makeup tips, techniques, and product reviews for those of us 50+. Don’t forget to subscribe!

False Beauty “Rule” #3

Rule #3 is that we shouldn’t wear face primer because it’s one extra layer that just makes our makeup look cakey and ages us. However, here is what face primer can do for more mature skin that can be beneficial.

First, it can smooth the skin by filling in fine lines and wrinkles which creates a more even surface for makeup application.

Second, many primers designed for mature skin are formulated with hydrating ingredients like hyaluronic acid which helps combat dryness and improves the skin’s overall appearance. I definitely need more hydration so I use Merit’s Great Skin Priming Moisturizer.

Third, face primer can help keep makeup in place longer, preventing it from creasing or settling into wrinkles.

Fourth, some primers are designed to blur the appearance of pores and other imperfections which creates a more flawless base. One of the best blurring primers is Tatcha’s The Liquid Silk Canvas primer.

And fifth, some primers can create a gorgeous glow such as Armani’s Luminous Silk Hydrating Primer.

False Beauty “Rule” #4

The fourth beauty rule that we should stop believing relates to the belief that mature women should definitely not wear bright or red lipstick. However, red lipstick can be beautifully empowering, strong and sexy. And there is a red lipstick for every woman. It’s a bold color that can be fun and flattering, and it’s also a classic that can brighten our complexion.

The key to a great red lip look is to find the right shade and application techniques that will work best for you. Here are some tips for choosing and applying red lipstick.

Know Your Undertone

First – and most importantly – find a color that works with the undertone of your skin. If you have a cool undertone, you can benefit from blue-based reds, while warm-toned skin looks great with orange or coral-based reds.

And if you have a neutral undertone, you can wear the more neutral versions of warm or cool red lipstick shades. In the video I’ll share some of the best cool toned and warm toned lipsticks. If you’re not sure of the undertone of your skin, be sure to check out this video.

Choose the Right Texture

Velvet or satin finishes can be flattering for mature lips, while ultra-matte lipsticks can emphasize fine lines. However, if you have an issue with lipstick migrating, find a matte or liquid red lipstick which will prevent that from happening, but add a touch of gloss just to the center of the lips (so it won’t migrate) to make your lips look brighter and larger.

Prep Your Lips

Exfoliating and hydrating our lips before applying red lipstick creates a smooth canvas.

Use Lip Liner

Use a lip liner to keep the lipstick in place and to help prevent feathering.

Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment

Try different shades and techniques until you find a look you love. Ultimately, the best red lipstick for you is the one that makes you feel great and confident.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you enjoy wearing colorful or shimmer eyeshadows? If so, what are some of your favorite products? Do you wear face primer? If yes, what do you find to be the biggest benefit? Do you ever wear red lipstick? If not, are you interested in giving it a try?