Month: July 2025

Don’t scramble at the last minute.

Don’t scramble at the last minute.

Don’t scramble at the last minute.

In a world where everything comes with an enormous price tag, I’ve made a deliberate choice not to charge my six kids rent to live at home. It’s not because I’m against teaching responsibility or preparing them for adulthood. It’s because I believe in giving them the kind of support that truly sets them up for success that is not just emotional, but financial, too.

Our Home Is a Safe House

Their home is their refuge, a place of security and belonging, a safe house they have lived in since they were born. Which, of course, they didn’t ask to be. That decision was mine, and it came with the understanding that I was committing to raise, support, and guide them.

Not charge them.

I didn’t become a parent hoping for a return on investment. I didn’t raise my kids so they could start paying me back in rent when they hit adulthood. That’s just not how I see family. I chose to bring them into the world, and with that came the responsibility of making sure they feel safe, supported, and secure.

So no, I don’t want my kids to associate this home with a monthly bill. I want them to know they have a place in this world where they are always welcome, without condition or cost or judgement.

I Want to Make a Difference Now

And if the truth be told, I don’t have any inheritance or a trust fund to pass down. I don’t have parents to leave me anything, and I will almost certainly be working until the day I die. But what I do have is the ability to make a difference now. By not charging them rent, I give them the opportunity of keeping every penny they earn. And that’s a gift in itself.

Over time, that decision has helped them save thousands. It’s given them the chance to finance a gap year and go travelling to far flung destinations on the other side of the globe. They’re not in credit card debt like I was at their age, struggling to pay rent on a dingy bedsit whilst holding down a journalism training job and a retail job to supplement just basic living expenses.

They have money in the bank that’s building their future, creating financial security early in life. It’s creating freedom and breathing space to make better choices than I did at their age. And you can’t make good choices from a place of scarcity.

My eldest son is reaching his target of having a deposit for his first home soon, and thankfully, he isn’t in a hurry to house hunt. It’s not about spoiling them. It’s about giving them a head start in a world that’s financially stacked against them from the beginning.

It’s Not Dependency; It’s a Chance

Some might say that letting them live rent-free is setting them up to be dependent. I disagree. Living at home doesn’t mean living without rules or expectations. My kids still contribute in other ways. They buy their own toiletries and pay for takeaways and travel costs.

They’re grateful, as they see their friends having to fork out to pay their parents. Having been utterly terrible with money for as long as I have earned it, I’ve encouraged them to learn from my mistakes and treat this opportunity wisely, by saving aggressively while they can. And they listen to me, I’m sure, even though Amazon delivery drivers surely have our address saved, judging by the daily parcels that arrive.

This Setup Won’t Be Forever; I’m Enjoying It While It Lasts

Eventually, they’ll move out, but there’s no pressure on them to leave. Life will demand more from them soon enough. For now, we get to share meals, have silly conversations and enjoy each other’s company under the same roof. I’m not going to tax them for that privilege.

These years are fleeting, and no amount of rent money could ever be worth what I get in return. I love seeing the pile of shoes in the hall, I smile when I hear them snap open a pack of cards over the kitchen table as their laughter echoes through the hall.

Of course, it wouldn’t kill them to empty a bin now and again, but it’s a small niggle I am happy to get wound up over because they grew up in a heartbeat and will be gone in a flash. But these years when your kids are grown, but still at home are to be treasured. These moments are fleeting and getting to enjoy them as adults is a privilege and a blessing. And when the time comes, they’ll leave home with confidence, stability, and truly ready for the world.

Every Family Is Different

I appreciate that not every family is in the same financial position. Some parents need the extra income or believe that rent teaches discipline. That’s totally valid. But for me, offering a rent-free home is how I help my kids build a stable foundation. Something I wish I’d had when I was younger.

My mother literally had a clock ticking and the calendar marked as soon as I turned 18 and couldn’t wait to kick me out. I’ve never been good with money and if truth be told, I am still learning. Not because I was lazy or stupid but because no one ever taught me how to be good with money.

So yes, thank God my children are OK. They’ve got a financial head-start that I never had. That’s not luck. That’s me making sure they don’t repeat the same patterns. That’s a mother breaking cycles, even while struggling quietly behind the scenes. It’s not about handouts. It’s about a hand up. If I can lighten their load while they build their future, I’ll consider that one of the best investments I’ve ever made.

Read more of Amanda’s blogs here.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

When did your children leave the nest? Have you offered them a safe home until they could save up and move out without debt? Do you think making adult children pay rent is part of growing up?

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Originally posted at: Stephanie Shojaee’s Blue Beaded Check Print Top