Month: December 2025

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Originally posted at: Erika Girardi’s Blue Striped Tie Front Shirt Dress

Most women I work with know guilt all too well.

• Guilt about not saving enough.
• Guilt about spending too much.
• Guilt about saying no to adult children, or yes, when they wanted to say no.

Money guilt can be heavy. But underneath it is often something deeper: care, love, and a desire to do right by others.

If you’ve ever felt that tight knot in your chest after a financial decision, this article is for you.

Meet Carol

Carol is 66. When her daughter lost her job, Carol immediately stepped in to help. She covered rent for two months and sent grocery money.

At first, it felt right: she was helping. But when her own credit card bill arrived, she panicked. She’d spent beyond her budget and now couldn’t pay her balance in full.

She told me, “I feel so guilty. I should’ve known better.”

But when we looked closer, her guilt wasn’t just about overspending. It was about love, fear, and responsibility.

She wasn’t careless. She was caring, and it cost her peace of mind.

Why Money Guilt Is So Common

For women over 60, guilt around money often runs deep because of how we were socialized.

Caregiver Conditioning

Many of us were taught that a good woman takes care of everyone else’s needs and desires first. When we prioritize ourselves financially, it feels “selfish.”

Cultural Scripts

Messages like “women aren’t good with money” or “money shouldn’t matter” create impossible standards.

Changing Roles

Retirement, divorce, or widowhood can shift who depends on you, and how you define being a “good” provider or partner.

Family Patterns

If you grew up with scarcity, any abundance now can feel undeserved.

The result? Guilt becomes the background noise of financial life.

What Guilt Is Really Trying to Tell You

Here’s the secret about guilt: it’s not trying to ruin your life. Guilt often shows up as a signal that something matters deeply to you.

When you feel money guilt, ask yourself:

• What value is being bumped into here?
• Am I afraid of hurting someone I love?
• Do I feel like I’ve broken an unspoken rule about what “good” people do with money?

Sometimes guilt means you’ve done something out of alignment with your values. But just as often, it means your values are changing, and your emotions and reactions haven’t caught up yet.

The Difference Between Guilt and Responsibility

Guilt says: “I’m a bad person for doing this.”

Responsibility says: “I can learn from this and do differently next time.”

That’s a powerful distinction.

You can’t expect yourself to annihilate guilt entirely, but you can turn it into information instead of punishment.

When you notice yourself feeling guilty, try asking: “What is this feeling trying to show me?”

Maybe it’s reminding you that you care about fairness. Or that you want more balance between giving and self-protection. Or that you’re ready to handle your finances differently this time.

Tool: The “Guilt Translation” Exercise

Grab a piece of paper and draw two columns.

Left side: Write what the guilt says.

Right side: Translate it into truth.

Example:

This small reframing helps separate who you are from what happened.

How Guilt Gets in the Way of Financial Freedom

Unchecked guilt keeps women stuck. It shows up as:

• Over-giving. Helping others financially to relieve guilt, then resenting it later.
• Restriction. Denying yourself small pleasures because you “don’t deserve them.”
• Avoidance. Ignoring statements or accounts to escape that guilty pang.

Each of these is understandable, but none of them bring you peace.

How to Loosen Guilt’s Grip

Here are a few ways to start releasing guilt’s hold on your financial decisions:

Notice the Pattern, Not Just the Moment

Instead of asking, “Why did I do that? What’s wrong with me!?” ask, “When does this feeling usually show up?” Guilt often follows predictable triggers, like helping family or spending on yourself.

Pause Before Reacting

Guilt pushes us to fix things immediately. Instead, give yourself 24 hours before taking action. That pause turns guilt into data instead of a driver.

Name Your Values

Write down 3–4 financial values: e.g. security, generosity, joy, independence. When a choice aligns with those values, it’s less likely to end in guilt.

Practice Repair, Not Punishment

If you overspent or made a mistake, repair it with compassion. Adjust next month’s spending plan, not your self-worth.

Let Good Guilt Become Gentle Guidance

Guilt that says, “Here’s how I can do better next time,” is healthy. Guilt that says, “I’m bad,” is shame in disguise.

When Guilt Belongs to Someone Else

Sometimes guilt isn’t even ours, it’s inherited.

You might feel guilty for having more than your parents ever did, or for saying no when your adult children are struggling.

That kind of guilt is about loyalty, not wrongdoing.

It can help to ask:

“Whose approval am I seeking with this guilt?”

Often, we find that the person we’re trying to please (a parent, partner, or past version of ourselves) isn’t even here anymore.

Releasing that inherited guilt doesn’t mean forgetting where you came from. It means honoring their struggle by living with more peace and freedom than they could.

A New Kind of Financial Integrity

Integrity isn’t about never feeling guilty. It’s about noticing guilt when it arises, listening to what it’s trying to tell you, and deciding what aligns with your values now.

It’s choosing love and self-respect at the same time. And it’s remembering that the goal isn’t to be perfect with money, it’s to be peaceful with it.

Closing Thoughts

Money guilt is often a sign that you care deeply, not that you’ve failed.

With curiosity, reflection, and self-compassion, guilt can become a guidepost rather than a burden.

If you’re ready to loosen guilt’s grip and make financial decisions that feel lighter, kinder, and more aligned with your values, you’re not alone.

Read more about healing from financial guilt and trauma here.

Your Thoughts:

When do you feel guilt about spending money? Is it when you’re helping someone else, or when you’re indulging yourself?

Instagram Roundup: Looks We Love

We’ve got a LOT of shows to cover on Bravo right now, which means it’s sometimes hard for us to fit in all the best looks we’re clocking on social media. So I’m rounding up some looks that we’ve spotted on Instagram that are perfect to scoop up in an instant.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Katie Ginella’s Black Embellished Top and Pants

Kyle Richards’ Black Leather Blazer Dress

Madison LeCroy’s Printed Button Down Shirt and Skirt

Kiki Barth’s Olive Green Corset Dress

Kristin Cavallari’s Bootleg Jeans and Camel Leather Jacket

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Kyle Richards’ Plush Leopard Robe

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Tracy Tutor’s Brown Maxi Dress

Katie Ginella’s Ivory Floral Maxi Dress

Ashley Darby’s Leopard Sequin Dress

Bronwyn Newport’s Pinstriped Blazer and Boots

Kyle Richards’ Navy Pinstriped Blazer and Platform Sandals

Keiarna Stewart’s Crystal Embellished Jeans

Ariana Madix’s Black and Nude Lace Dress

Photos: @madisonlecroy @kylerichards18 @katie.ginella @arianamadix @bravotv @iamkstewart @kikibarth @ashleyboalchdarby @bronwynnewport

Originally posted at: Instagram Roundup:

Do you sometimes feel yourself growing grouchier and more irritable as the years go by? The body’s aches and pains and the woes of the world can make us all feel that way at some point as we age. Even the winter chill can negatively affect our mood.

When my spirit starts to sag, I hear Willie Nelson singing Toby Keith’s song, “Don’t Let the Old In.” For me, the old man in the song title represents the negativity and anxiety that sometimes try to take over my thoughts and feelings. My response is to take one or more of the following steps to reclaim my joie de vivre.

I invite you to try these steps yourself and see how they can shift your mood and put some strut back into your steps.

Listen to Music

Music is the all-time greatest mood shifter! As a therapist for older adults, I am amazed at how infrequently older people listen to music. One of my clients only listens once a week when she tunes into the opera that plays on her local radio station every Saturday afternoon at 1p.m. Some of my clients never think of music as a solution to their sadness or loneliness.

I believe we should be listening to music every day! I tell my clients that a day without music is like a day without sunshine. Music can make you laugh. It can make you shake your booty. It can even ease your spirit, by evoking tears that may desperately need to be shed.

Music’s benefits are limitless. It can reduce stress and anxiety. It triggers memories, giving us the opportunity to walk down memory lane with good times we’ve had and also with people we have lost. And it soothes us. Moreover, music has been shown to improve our alertness and cognitive functioning.

So put on a record. Turn on the radio. Tell Alexa to play your favorite tune or use your cellphone to tune into Apple Music or Spotify. You will be all the better for it.

Turn off the News

Turn off the drone of the 24-hour news cycle on the television. Move from the front pages of the newspaper to the living sections.

Yes, it is important to know what is going on in the world. But don’t make news your daily bread. It is not essential to spend hours of your day reading every detail or hearing talking heads shout at you over the airways about their particular point of view. Get the facts you need in order to shape your vote or your activism and then move on to doing what you can to build a better world. Too much engagement with the news can increase our anxiety and stress and can even result in depression.

Call a Friend

In his bestselling book, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy writes about the importance of connection. Sharing personal experiences learned from his physician parents and from his own practice, Murthy tells us that we need the right mix of human relationships in order to be happy.

He suggests we should have an inner circle of intimate friends, a middle circle of friends, and an outer circle of casual acquaintances. Staying connected with these circles of relationships has positive effects on our mental and emotional states.

Robert D. Putnam, author of the blockbuster book Bowling Alone, appears in a new film, now streaming on Netflix. The documentary, Join or Die, makes the point that engaging in clubs and civic groups in our community can combat loneliness and lead to many benefits, including an increased lifespan. Remember, we are social creatures, and we need human connection. Call a friend. Even better; call a different friend or acquaintance each day and build those circles of connection.

Identify Your Purpose

The purpose you lived for and worked for when you were 20, 30, or 40 has likely changed. Perhaps you have fulfilled the dreams of your youth. Retirement, a grown family, and age may have shifted your sense of purpose.

If this is true for you, dream anew! The poet Pablo Neruda wrote, “Every day I awake from my dreams with a new dream.”

Maybe your new dream is to re-purpose your life by supporting other over-60-people who are less fortunate than you. Maybe after a lifetime of work, you can fully turn your attention to the next generations of your family. Helping your children – or your nieces and nephews – with their children can give you a new sense of purpose and joy.

Maybe you have shifted from your former line of work to earning money by painting or writing. Maybe you have set aside paid labor all together and are wondering what to do.

If you have stopped working, consider volunteering. I especially love the work senior citizens are doing in the Village to Village movement in which older adults come together to support one another in their communities, building connections and offering a helping hand. You can find a local village, or, if there isn’t yet a village in your hometown, you can start one, as a small group of neighbors and I did in Amherst, Massachusetts.

Build a Fun Routine

Anticipating good things is an excellent mood enhancer. Building joyful recurring activities into your weeks can build anticipation in the most positive way. A weekly mahjong or bridge game in pleasant company can make that day enjoyable every week and can put a smile on your face in the days leading up to it as you anticipate the laughter you will share and perhaps the win you will accomplish.

I’m a big fan of “date night.” If you have a partner, a regular date night can be so enjoyable. There is nothing like dressing up, getting out into the night air, and having a wonderful meal to spark your relationship. One of my friends has a weekly “date” with her sister, who recently lost her husband. They go to Mass on Saturday evening and follow that with dinner where they have a chance to talk, share and rebuild their connection as siblings.

Enjoy Comedy

Comedians are everywhere. You can simply look at YouTube, Netflix, Facebook reels or TikTok. You may already have a few favorite comedians. If you do, search for them on social media and follow them. If not, look around and identify a few.

One of my current favorite comedians is 72-year-old Andy Higgins, the king of one-liners. Listening to him makes me laugh at so many of my maladies, which at least confirms that I am not dead. Susan Rice makes me smile at her jokes and her “faked” doddering, and I love that she looks so fabulous.

Comedy also reduces the stress hormones and boosts the immune system. And because it stimulates the release of endorphins, it may even ease your pain – a least for a few moments.

Get Out of Dodge

Take a trip. Go away for the weekend. Rent an Airbnb two towns away and spend the weekend exploring.

Spend February (the shortest, darkest month in the Northern Hemisphere) in the Southern Hemisphere. Booking a cruise is easy enough to do. Or maybe even help your mood way in advance of the trip by eschewing the travel agent and spending your time in planning your trip, reading books, looking at websites and visualizing the feeling of sitting on the beach, maybe with a pina colada in hand.

Like everything worthwhile, lifting your mood requires some work. But the good news is that the work that brings smiles, laughter, happiness, and joy is fun and fulfilling in and of itself. Try it! And let me know which of these seven steps work best for you.

Let’s Have a Chat:

How do you lift your mood when irritation threatens to take over? What factors make you feel grouchy?

Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10 Episode 10 Fashion

The ladies of The Real Housewives of Potomac absolutely slayed their fashion game again on last night’s episode! From dazzling denim and vibrant pops of color to effortlessly chic prints, their look were flawless. We’re especially loving the embellishment details that add an edgy flair to their wardrobe. So get ready to take some style inspiration from their looks and elevate your own closet because these looks are an episode ten!

Best in Blonde,

Amanda

Ashley Darby’s Crystal Embellished Jeans

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Ashley Darby’s Coral Off The Shoulder Mini Dress

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Wendy Osefo’s Blue Crystal Embellished Cutout Jeans

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Stacey Rusch’s Denim Floral Applique Dress

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Wendy Osefo’s Zebra Corset Top and Pants

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Gizelle Bryant’s Blue One Shoulder Pleated Mini Dress

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Tia Glover’s Coral Blazer and Pants

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Ashley Darby’s Pink Vest and Short Set

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Angel Massie’s Red Sleeveless Vest and Pants

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Gizelle Bryant’s Red Cutout Bandage One Shoulder Confessional

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Angel Massie’s Mint Off The Shoulder Confessional Dress

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Stacey Rusch’s Black Rhinestone Cutout Confessional

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Keiarna Stewart’s Black Flower Appliquè Confessional Look

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Keiarna Stewart’s Purple Baroque Confessional Look

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Wendy Osefo’s Red Collared Confessional Look

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Gizelle Bryant’s Scalloped Sequin Confessional Look

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Gizelle Bryant’s Pearl Embellished Confessional Look

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Originally posted at: Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10 Episode 10 Fashion