They
say you never know what it’s like to stand in another person’s shoes. This is
such a profound and true statement when it comes to the relationship between
married and single friends in their 50s, 60s and beyond.

As a dating coach for women over 50, I hear the pain in women’s voices when they talk about their married friends, and the lives they miss being part of. They longingly wish they could share what it’s like to be single and alone at this time in their life without coming across as needy or unhappy.

My
hope is that this article opens everyone’s eyes to being more compassionate and
aware of what it’s like when life changes, you’re on your own, and no longer
part of a couple.

We Need Your Encouragement and Love

We
know you mean well when you tell us what a great catch we are and that we’ll be
married again before we know it. But when it doesn’t happen right away, we feel
like we’re a failure in your eyes.

Instead,
we’d love if you could encourage us to go out and date when we’re ready and
that you’ll be there to listen when we need a loving ear.

We Need You to Honor Our Choices

Please
try and give the men we’re dating a chance. We know it’s hard for you to adjust
to us being with someone else, especially when we’ve shared a long history
together.

Whether
he is in our life for six months or we marry him, if you and your husband could
make an effort to get to know this new man, we’d so appreciate it. When you
tell us that you don’t need to make new friends, what we hear is, you don’t
care about our friendship anymore, and that hurts.

We Need Your Support When It Doesn’t Work Out

Please
don’t share you thought a man was bad for us after we’ve broken up with him. Sometimes,
even if you didn’t like him, we did. Our hearts are hurting, and we could use
support at this time.

We Would Appreciate a Call

If
you haven’t heard from us in a while, instead of asking all our common friends
if they’ve seen us, give us a call to make sure we’re ok. It would mean a lot
to know we’re still on your radar.

We Would Love to Be Included in Parties

Please
consider inviting us back to the holiday parties we always enjoyed over the
years. We miss connecting with our couple friends, both male and female. We
were part of the group a long time and it hurts to be left out.

We Need Your Support in This Time of Change

Please
understand we’ve had to experience a lot of change on our own such as
downsizing, loss of people in our lives, and suddenly being single after being
part of a couple for so many years.

You
have a partner to share your emotions with. We are doing it all alone. This is
a time we could really use some support.

We Miss the Friendship and Weekly Get-Togethers

We
can spend a lot of dinner times on both weekdays and weekends alone, especially
if our kids live far away. Let’s do dinner together sometime and bring your
husband too. We’re not interested in them in anyway but as a friend, and we
miss the friendship all of us shared.

We Appreciate Your Loving Ear

Many of us are strong successful women. We have a tendency to hide the pain we’re feeling and will act as if everything is alright.

Sometimes
if we feel close and safe with you, we will dump everything that has been happening
in our lives on you because we have no one else to share our thoughts with. We
don’t mean to do that, but we are so grateful you let us express what is on our
mind.

You Can Lean on Us Too

We
so treasure our friendship and we’re here for you too when you need us.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How
do you feel around your married friends? Does it feel awkward to be in the
company of a friend who has become single after 50? Why do you think you feel
that way? Do you think you can keep an open mind and heart and accept your
single friend for who she is now? Please share your thoughts in the comments
below.