One of the most common complaints I hear from my coaching clients about first dates is that they didn’t feel any chemistry. So often we expect it to feel like a bolt of lightning like you see in the movies. We forget, we live in real life, not in a movie.
Can it happen? Sure. But realize that this is more likely a chemical reaction rather than an emotional connection. It’s a love vs. lust concept. If you don’t feel that sizzle as soon as you meet someone, it doesn’t mean there won’t ever be any chemistry between you two. It simply means it may need time to develop.
Most women don’t realize that they carry 50 percent of the responsibility of creating a spark on the first date. If it doesn’t happen naturally, there are some things to help it along. The key is to create enough interest on date number one so that you both want to learn more about each other on date number two.
Try these tips to help create a little sizzle:
Dress Comfortably
It’s hard to know how to dress on a first date. Should you buy something new, wear your best shoes, etc.? The real key is to be your best, beautiful self. Be sure to wear something comfortable that doesn’t slip, bunch, or feel too tight. And wear something that makes you feel like a million dollars. First impressions count.
Look for the Positive
When you go on a first date with a positive attitude and that feeling of excitement, it’s easier to experience that sense of giddiness. If you don’t initially feel it, focus on finding two or three things you really like about your date so your focus is on the positive and not the negative. It makes a difference.
Compliment Him
Yes, men love to hear compliments. If you want to get flirty, you could even say, “You’re cuter than I thought you were” when you first meet. If that’s too much for you, a sincere compliment of “You look nice” can set the stage for more casual compliments throughout the date. You don’t always need to compliment them on how they look. Maybe they have a great laugh or a point of view you appreciate. They’ll enjoy hearing about anything you like about them.
Sit Next to Him
Close the gap at the table by sitting next to him rather than across from him. It feels more intimate and makes it easier for you to talk to each other.
Touch Him
Men don’t experience much physical contact in their day-to-day lives so feel free to touch his arm, hand, or shoulder for emphasis while you’re chatting. You can even go for a hug and peck on the cheek when you first meet or end the date.
Be Authentic
You want to bring your real self to all your first dates. If you’re feeling excited or nervous to meet him, be open and tell him. He may be feeling the same way which can create some common ground, or he may step up to show support which will also create an open dialogue.
Keep Your Body Language Open
Even if you’re nervous, try to smile. Then keep your arms and hands open, it’s hard to feel close to someone with crossed arms. Lean into the conversation rather than away. And make sure your feet are facing in rather than out. Shifting your body to a more open position can lead to more open conversation.
No one can predict how things will go when you meet someone new. That’s why you’ll enjoy making those heart-to-heart connections quickly by using the tips above and the secret language that creates chemistry. You’ll be able to get to know him at a deeper level without feeling intrusive or getting too personal.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you believe you need to feel chemistry on date number one in order to go on date number two, or do you give it some time and let things develop?
