If you’ve dated a single day in your life, you’ve probably wondered about the answer to this question. What do men want?
With over 25 years of experience working with both men and women, I can share some good news. What both sexes want from dating is a bit similar – and then a whole lot different!
As 50% of my clients are male, let me share some of what I hear on a daily basis from men on the characteristics they are looking for in a woman. While most of what they said is common sense, some of their feedback may be a bit of an eye opener.
Taking Control
This starts with the online dating process. Men love when the woman reaches out with a message, not a heart or like. This continues in the dating process. A frequent comment men make is, “She relies on me to do all the date planning and I’d love to hear her ideas too.” Yep, this is 2023, not 1965.
Control does not mean a domineering or bossy attitude, but it’s important that you know your own mind and can take the initiative about half of the time. After all, this is what equality means, right?
A Positive and Confident Attitude
I cannot stress this one enough! Men find confidence extremely sexy, and a positive attitude shines through immediately on a date.
Example:
Jon, 63, had a date with a pretty 64-year-old woman this week. At lunch, he asked about her day. You know the first words out of her mouth? “The traffic was lousy getting here and the rain ruined my hair.” Do you really think a second date would happen? I didn’t think so.
No Mind Games
Mind games equal manipulation, and no one – man or woman – wants to be manipulated.
One client was frustrated with a woman who, after a great first date, and his text on the next day, waited for four days to respond. She may have thought playing hard to get would bring results, but she was very wrong.
Another client, after a great date with an interesting woman, received a cryptic message from her, saying there were several things she’d like to talk to him about next week when she got back from a vacation. He’d lost all interest at this point.
A Healthy Mind and Body
Many say 60 is the new 50 as many of us have taken great care of ourselves, eating well, exercising, self-care – so different from our parents/grandparents era. With this in mind, men are looking for women who take care of themselves and try to be as healthy as possible.
An Intelligent Mind
Yes, men like an attractive woman. But guess what? An interesting conversationalist, well-read, up on current events and an open mind to discuss different topics is just as enticing.
Empathetic and Kind-Hearted
This is the opposite of a catty woman. (Almost used another word but you know what I mean!). Little acts of kindness such as to the wait staff, talking positively of others, volunteering, etc. show character, consideration and graciousness.
Adventure
Yep, a man likes a sense of adventure in a woman – a willingness to try new things, travel to new places, meet new people and explore life together. “I’ve never done that before and have no interest” is the kiss of death.
The Way She Presents
First impressions are crucial! After all, you are going on a first date to meet someone you might end up liking. A stylish outfit, nails done, hair freshly blown out, pretty jewelry – all are immediately noticed. The most crucial of all: your smile and a sparkle in your eyes. Now, that’s a big turn-on. It shows you are happy to be there with him.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What do you want from men when it comes to dating? What do you think about this list of things men want from women? Which part of it rings true? Have you been at fault with one or more of the items on this list?
