As you navigate the tribulations (and trials) of online dating, I want to make it as easy and fun for you as possible! Many people who visit dating sites don’t know much about online dating. Others have been browsing for a while with little success. In my experience, a professional online dating expert can do a lot for you at either of those stages.

Too often though we tend to ask friends and family for dating advice. But are they pros? Asking a cousin (who is a lawyer) a quick legal question makes sense, right?

But once you go down the path of asking friends – oh, watch out! It will run the gamut from “I met my husband in college, so I have no idea” to listening to horrific dating stories. So, let’s skip the hysterics and get to some fun and adventure in the dating world.

A couple things to remember: In 2019, 1 in 3 singles met their significant other online, and 1 in 4 singles married as a result of online dating.

So, here are some basic questions to ask before you hire someone to help you navigate online dating. Yes, there are some fantastic professionals out in the dating kingdom, but you need to pick the right one!

What’s Their Background to Make Them a Dating Expert/Coach?

The right professional has had thousands of dating clients in their career, found successful relationships  (and marriage partners) for them, and thus created a fantastic reputation. Matchmaking is generally a passion for this person – not some get rich quick scheme.

A dating coach is certainly not someone who met their husband online and now claims to be an expert. Look for a person who has at least 10-15 years’ experience in the dating arena, success stories, and strong testimonials from both the media and clients.

How Long Have They Been in Business?

Go back to at least 10+ years’ experience with singles and dating clients – their own dating experiences do not count! And if they guarantee success – RUN!

Success, in online dating terms, should include writing a fantastic dating profile that you are happy with, vetting your photos, choosing the right dating sites for you to begin on, going on good dates due to your profile, photos and site, and weekly coaching for the first few months.

Who Are Their Clients?

It’s important to know what kind of clients the coach specializes in. This matters because coaches tend to have their niche groups. They may prefer working with Jewish men in their 40s, for instance, or Christian widows.

A 58-year-old divorced woman looking for a relationship probably won’t have success with an expert whose primary clients are women in their 30s and 40s.

Different client backgrounds require different writing styles for their profile, different dating sites, and coaching from someone who can relate to their specific needs.

Do They Have a Phone Number They Answer?

If they don’t have an active phone number, the so called ‘coach’ is basically a ghost writer or someone doing this as a part-time job. This is a signal of ‘here today, gone tomorrow’. Skip and move on.

What Will They Do for You?

The hiring cost of dating coaches runs from low-end services beginning at $50-$200 to high-end ultra-coaching that can go up to $25,000+. Professional dating experts generally will have set prices clearly spelled out on their website. If they do not, it’s just a marketing ploy to get you to call then begin negotiations with you. Not fun!

Also, don’t be blown away by a salesperson’s promises. Such people know dating can be very emotional and often take advantage of this. Look carefully at their website, make certain the program is laid out with exactly what you are getting and time parameters. Costs associated with each program should also be clear and there should be no added costs.

Are Revisions of Your Online Dating Profile Included for No Cost?

Revisions of your online dating profile should be included and turned around fast, as in 24 to 48 hours. As the client, you need to be 100% satisfied – not just satisfied, but ecstatic with your online profile. This is you, and you are not described by banal trite phrases and just walks on the beach, right?

Will They Vet Your Photos Before You Post Online?

It is an exceptionally good idea to have someone look over your photos. A great profile can be sunk by bad photos. On the other hand, a good profile can be turned into a great profile with a fantastic variety of photos.

Will They Recommend the Correct Sites for You?

Dating site recommendations truly run the gamut here – from chaotic dating advice (“Go on every dating site/dating app and best of luck!”) to beginning with one specific dating site. If they start all clients with the same site, perhaps it’s time to talk to another dating expert.

What’s Their Success Rate?

Ask and find out how they determine their success rate. They may look at how happy the client is with the dating profile that is written for them, or they may only consider making a good match a success.

A great dating coach will help and encourage you and make tweaks to your dating site profiles when needed. And remember, if you come to dating with a super positive attitude, a smile, ready for a new adventure – it’s going to be a success.

Have you decided to use the services of a dating coach to help you with online dating? What questions would you ask them? What kind of answers would you be looking for? Please share your experience with dating coaches!

Amanda Batula’s Black Patent Leather Leggings on Instastories

Summer House Instagram Fashion 2021

If Amanda Batula’s black patent leather leggings that we saw her wearing for a fun night out in on Instastories recently look familiar to you, that may be because we’ve previously reported on them being worn by Erika Jayne Girardi, Leah McSweeney, Lisa Rinna, and Kelly Dodd. So while Ms. Batula has yet to officially walk down the aisle to become Mrs. Cooke, I think it’s safe to say that she’s definitely a perfect real housewife in training.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Expert Tip (from BBH’s Lauren who also owns these leggings): to reduce them from making a squeaking noise while you walk just rub a little baby or olive oil on the inner upper thigh area!

Also Seen on Erika Jayne, Leah McSweeney, Lisa Rinna and Kelly Dodd:

Click Here to Shop Her Commando Leggings

Click Here For Additional Stock and Colours

And Here For Even More Stock

Click Here to Shop Them in Extended Sizing

Photo #2: @LeahMob

Photo #3: @LisaRinna

Photo #5 & Info: @AmandaBatula

Originally posted at: Amanda Batula’s Black Patent Leather Leggings

Marriages, especially ones that have lasted for decades, take work. Every day will not be a honeymoon. Arguments, compromises, and sacrifices will no doubt be daily currency. While the give and take in a relationship is normal, there are instances when staying married is not a sustainable option.

It can be terrifying to end a decades-long marriage and start over in your 50s, 60s, and 70s. For this reason, many older women stay with their partner, even if it is not in their own best interest.

But how do you know when it is time to leave your marriage, versus staying in it? Every woman’s situation is different, but if you are in any of the following situations, regardless of how long you have been married, it may be time to consider your options.

You Are in an Abusive Relationship

There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s when it comes to abuse. It is wrong, you do not deserve it, and you need to leave that situation as soon as you can.

For years, our culture has told us that running the household and making the marriage work is our duty. As a result, we put this enormous pressure on ourselves to keep the marriage intact, even if it is harmful or dangerous to us.

Whether it is physical, mental, emotional, or sexual abuse, or the threat of abuse, you do not deserve it. There are resources out there to help you leave.

It does not matter how many years you have invested in a relationship. You may have even told yourself, “I may as well stay since I’ve already invested all this time and I’ll learn to cope.” But please, for your sake and for those who love you, do not stay. It’s time to realize you deserve to be safe and respected.

You Do Not Get Treated with the Respect You Deserve

Anyone who is married for more than a few years understands that there will be ups and downs. However, if you are not being treated as an equal partner in the relationship, that’s a problem. If your wants and needs are ignored or mocked, that’s a problem. If you are being cheated on, that’s a problem.

These actions are symptoms of a larger problem. They show that your partner is not valuing you in the way that you should be valued. Never forget for a second that you are a queen and that you deserve to be with someone who will love you and respect you and treat you right.

If you find yourself continually justifying your partner’s disrespectful behavior, or, even more alarming, you have become numb to it, it might be time to reconsider the value of that marriage.

You Justify Your Happiness and Mental Health

If you justify, and continue to justify, everything over your own happiness and mental health, there is a problem. You, a woman over 50, are a part of a resilient group. Women of your generation demanded more for themselves. They broke out of what society told them they should be and how they should act.

You have made a lot of sacrifices along the way, especially when it came to balancing the demands of marriage, motherhood, and career. During those years, you probably had dreams of your own deferred.

It’s common for most women to have made that type of sacrifice. However, the red flag starts to wave if keeping your marriage together is at the expense of your own happiness and mental health. If you are continually discouraged from pursuing your own dreams and happiness, it’s time to consider if staying in the marriage has been a reason for that neglect.

You Feel Nothing Will Change for the Better

Perhaps you feel like nothing will change for the better, and your spouse is unwilling to try. If you are in one of the above situations, where you are mistreated and disrespected, it may be time to stop. This holds true if you continue to justify your spouse’s misbehavior towards you, or continue to prioritize everything over your own mental health and happiness.

You may have the opportunity to work things out with the help of a good counselor or other professional. These types of services can be a godsend for some, but there are times when it’s not a cure-all.

It takes both partners to make a relationship work. Perhaps you do not want to leave and have done everything you can to try to make the relationship work. Yet if your spouse is still unwilling to work on it, he is sending you the message that you may not want to hear – you deserve better.

Ending a marriage is a messy and complicated process. It can be terrifying to take that leap – the one where you go from having a predictable but unhappy existence to one that is full of uncertainty and stress. But remember that there is a whole new chapter of your life that awaits you if you decide to do so.

Recognizing that you deserve to feel safe and free from abuse and harm, that you deserve to be treated with respect regardless of how long you have been married is important.

Knowing that you deserve to have your own independence and happiness despite years of sacrificing for others, can be the motivation that gives you the courage to leave a relationship that is no longer healthy for you – even after age 50.

You Are Not Being True to Yourself

Do you find yourself easily agitated and frustrated most of the time? If you find that your personality changed over the years and you are mostly angry with your partner, then it’s possible that the environment has become toxic and it’s time to make a change. Sometimes the change means leaving the relationship.

Sometimes it’s neither abuse nor flagrant disrespect but little things that your partner does that annoy you and that are not conducive to a healthy and loving relationship. You have the right to be happy and to live in a nurturing environment that promotes your happiness and unique personality.

Has your marriage ended? How did you know it was time to leave? What advice would you give other women who are struggling with the decision to stay or go? Let’s have a conversation and support each other!

Lisa Barlow’s Lip Balm

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Beauty

Lisa Barlow took to Instagram to answer some questions from her followers and we owe one of them a Big Blonde thank you for asking what lipgloss she is wearing in the pic below. It’s one of those affordable products that people love, but unfortunately the formula has been updated and the original is hard to find. Unless you scroll quickly and get the remaining stock below first, that is.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Sephora Rose Lip Balm

Click here to Shop the Updated Version that Replaced it

Originally posted at: Lisa Barlow’s Lip Balm