Luann de Lesseps’ Camo Fur Shrug in The Hamptons

Real Housewives of New York Season 13 Episode 2 Fashion

According to the previews for this week’s episode of RHONY Luann de Lesseps appeared totally ready for combat upon her arrival to Ramona Singer’s house in The Hamptons with her camo faux fur shrug. Which as it turns out just ended up functioning to make her look cute considering she didn’t even have to fight this time to be upgraded from the lower level. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Glamourpuss NYC Shrug

Info: @CountessLuann

Originally posted at: Luann de Lesseps’ Camo Fur Shrug

So many of the women I talk to each day through my blog at Life Balance After 50 know that they want to continue to be active and busy and doing all of the things on what we are calling “the right side of 50.”

They may be looking to stop or cut back at their current job or maybe they were at-home moms and now, with their kids grown, are empty nesters. They’re overall happy and satisfied with their situations in general but just know there’s more that they want to be doing.

And, so many of them aren’t sure what that “more” is, exactly.

I first direct them to my workbook with reflective journal prompts. I encourage them to sit down, pour a glass of wine or a cup of tea or coffee, set a timer for at least 30 minutes and reflect. Reflect on:

#1: What they’ve done up until this point and the parts of it they’ve loved as well as those they’ve not enjoyed as much;

#2: Their ideal day and week.

But sometimes these prompts aren’t enough. And then we dive into the bucket list. Why is the bucket list important?

It Allows You to Dream

Provided you create it without censoring yourself. It’s not an “if this happens, then I would want to do this.” No. It’s your bucket list. The things that you want to do for yourself. You may need to hold off on doing some of the things, but they need to be on your bucket list, regardless.

Keep in mind, your list doesn’t have to be experiences like skydiving or traveling around the world in 80 days. It can be “I want to have a weekend at the beach alone once a month for a year.”

Start with an uncensored brain dump and then go back and create your list from that.

It Provides You with Goals

Take a look at your bucket list and decide which thing you’d like to try first. Then, start taking the steps to make that thing happen. It may require some planning and talking to others in your life about it. Set your timeline goals and start working on them.

Lucy decided that she wanted to tour five different cities within the year. She began by telling her husband and asking if he wanted to go with her. Then she sat down with a map and figured out which cities she would visit.

She chose cities that were no more than a 4-hour train ride from her in any direction so that she wouldn’t be gone for more than a day or two. She then scheduled her first city tour.

It Helps You Overcome Fears and That Feels Good

If you’ve truly done a brain dump and created a true bucket list, some of the things on it might seem super exciting but a little scary! And they should! Especially when you are actually doing them.

But facing those fears and doing the thing anyway is one of the BEST feelings in the world.

My husband ran his first 5K this past weekend. He said that at the starting point he was thinking to himself, “What the heck am I doing here?” At the finish, he said to himself, “When can I do that again?” THAT is exactly what you want to feel.

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to spend an evening all alone at my son’s lake house. I am never alone and very much enjoy my alone time. But when I got there, I was surprised to find that I had some anxiety coming up.

I considered going home. But I knew how much I had been looking forward to that time and how much I love my alone time. I also knew how disappointed I would be on every level if I didn’t see this opportunity through. So, I stayed. And, like my husband, I’m wondering when I can do it again.

It Energizes You

Looking at this list and visualizing yourself doing the things on it energizes you. Planning for the things or taking steps to get yourself closer to doing them gives you a reason to get up early in the morning. Something to look forward to. Your joy.

It Gives You Things to Try So You Can Figure Out What You Like

Lisa Condie was a divorced empty nester housewife from Salt Lake City, Utah who was trying to figure out what she was going to do next.  She took a trip to Italy (and was terrified doing it on her own).

While there, she decided that when she got home she was going to pack up and move to Italy to live. Three months later, she did just that and ended up starting a travel agency that catered to groups of women touring Italy.

Had she not gone there for that three-week trip, moving to Italy would never have occurred to her as a life choice. Your bucket list gives you things to try to see what might really click.

This is not to say that we don’t love the things in our lives – our work, our families, our grandchildren, our senior parents. But we can love those things and look forward to doing the things for ourselves as well as we enter the right side of 50!

What sort of things are on your bucket list? What steps are you taking to start making some of those things happen? Are you afraid of what you listed? What would it take you to overcome your fear? Please share with the community!

One of the first gifts that I gave to my new lover, John, some years ago was a song called, “The Nearness of You.” I had recorded myself singing the romantic song very informally on my iPhone. I sent it to him for his birthday after we had been seeing one another for only a couple of months.

It was a bit of a bold move. And to be candid, I think he was a little embarrassed. But he was also quite pleased. Our birthday-celebration weekend together was more “romantic” than usual. 

And some time later, the gesture was reciprocated to the delight of both of us. Holding aloft a Greek classical period hoplite helmet that he had bought in Crete; John moved enticingly around the room, half-clothed, while singing in a deep voice the song “Golden Helmet of Mambrino.”

It is an amusingly noble (and masculine) song from the musical The Man of La Mancha. John’s rendering of it was fun and sexy. And noting the pleasure in my eyes, he began to sing for me more often. As I did for him. I believe we both felt a more fluid romantic bond after these shared musical moments.

The Joy of Singing to Loved Ones

Finding this kind of joy in singing songs for those who are close to us is more common than you might imagine. A long-time friend, who is also a singing student of mine, has taken lessons with me for several years. In her late 70s, she continues to improve her singing voice so that she can serenade close friends and family members.

Her unique approach is to take well known songs and sing them with her own newly-created lyrics that relate to the life of the person for whom she is singing. At present, she is not singing for a lover. But I know that she still hopes to find a romantic partner. And no doubt, she will sing a special song for him.

Solo vs. Choir Singing

But it isn’t just through singing solo for one another that powerful feelings are generated. Singing in choirs is also a deep and emotion-full experience. Research shows that choral music “does make people feel better and closer to others. When you sing with others, …there is a palpable sense of social solidarity.” 

When we are not in a pandemic, singing in a choir can also lead to romantic bonding. For those who are not comfortable with other ways of looking for a mate, a choir setting can help to break the ice. We sit next to one another and harmonize our voices. We hear the testosterone in the men’s voices. We feel the visceral pleasure of making music together.

Then, after you have shared the making of wonderful music with a person to whom you are attracted, it becomes easier to strike up a conversation. Since we humans can bond very deeply when we make music together, is it surprising that romance is sometimes in the air? 

The Pull of Voice

The speaking voice can also be important to a budding relationship. Former first lady Michelle Obama relates how appealing it was to hear Barack Obama’s voice on the phone when they first connected. She had been skeptical about meeting him. But, “Oh, that voice!” she said in an interview. 

Think for a moment about how a person’s voice can grate on you or attract you. In both singing and speaking, this can be the case. Perhaps you lack confidence about your voice – you’ve been told that you sound rather whiny and shrill. Or that you sing out of tune.

In my long experience as a performer and a vocal coach, I know how heavily these kinds of comments can sit on a person’s heart. And how long-standing the effects of hurtful comments can be. 

Later in life, women and men have timidly approached me for lessons saying exactly that: “My mother told me I have no voice. So forget it! But I really want to sing before it’s too late!” or “My husband says I’m always out of tune. Do you think I can improve?” 

In working with this kind of student, I help them to see that they have more options than they can currently imagine. With time, patience and lots of laughter, the sound of almost every voice can be improved upon. And with that more luxurious voice comes greater confidence in other areas of life, as well. And perhaps… a little more romance.

Do you love to sing? Have you performed for your loved ones? Do you think singing can create or intensify romantic emotions? Have you found creative ways to serenade someone you love? Please share below!

Leah McSweeney’s Pink Houndstooth Bodysuit on Instastories

Real Housewives of New York Instagram Fashion 2021

Leah McSweeney’s pink houndstooth bodysuit that we saw her wearing on Instastories is super cute. And although we unfortunately weren’t able to get a glimpse of what she was wearing on the bottom, we’re really hoping it was the matching shorts to complete the lewk (although we can’t blame her if it was sweatpants).

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Tropic of C Bodysuit

Click Here For Additional Stock

Click Here to Shop the Matching Shorts

Photo: @LeahMob

Originally posted at: Leah McSweeney’s Pink Houndstooth Bodysuit

Eboni K. Williams’ Black Studded Leather Jacket in The Hamptons

Real Housewives of New York Season 13 Episode 2 Fashion

On this week’s episode of RHONY Leah hosts a “Burning Man party” in The Hamptons where Ramona asks five thousand questions the group receives the help of a healer. Who we mayyy just have to hire for ourselves right now to cope with the fact that Eboni K. Williams’ black studded leather jacket is pretty much sold out. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her Sold Out Alice + Olivia Jacket

 Click Here to Shop it on eBay

Originally posted at: Eboni K. Williams’ Black Studded Leather Jacket