If you are over 50 and divorced, you may feel stuck, unable to move on after the divorce. In my years as a divorce recovery coach, I have discovered the reason divorced women over 50 feel stuck is because they are operating on 4 myths that keep them from getting what they want. 

Let’s bust these divorce myths so you can finally get unstuck after your divorce. 

Divorce Myth #1: Asking for What You Want Is Selfish When You’re Over 50

I don’t know about you, but a lot of the messages I received growing up were that women should strive to be saintly and selfless mothers and wives. Divorce wasn’t even an option. I think growing up Catholic also meant that that infamous Catholic Guilt permeated everything I did. 

We were taught from an early age that if you wanted something for yourself, you were selfish. 

Did you ever feel like that in your decades-long marriage? 

Do you still feel like that, even if you’re divorced and over 50? 

You may struggle after divorce with feeling selfish if you don’t want to watch your grandkids this weekend.

Here’s what you must know. 

The Truth: Asking for what you want is not selfish. It’s healthy and absolutely critical to your divorce recovery… especially when you’re 50 and better.

Even if you’ve been conditioned to think that you should put everybody’s needs ahead of your own. 

Asking for what you want is not selfish. It’s just plain empowering and necessary if you want to get out of the divorce rut that’s going to keep you from moving on. 

Divorce Myth #2: Asking for What You Want Is Narcissistic

You may have had someone convince you that it was wrong to ask for what you want. Well, that doesn’t mean they were right.

The Truth: Unapologetically asking for what you want after divorce is an act of courage, not narcissism. It’s giving yourself permission to value yourself in a world that may not value you. 

Divorce Myth #3: It’s Just Too Hard

Asking for what you want – and not apologizing for it or justifying it to anyone – definitely takes work. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. And now that you’re divorced, the world is yours to take back.

Think of a time you did something that you were scared of or anxious about. Whether it was taking a full course load back in college, working full-time and raising kids, or navigating your own divorce, no matter how hard it was, you prevailed. 

Because you believed in yourself and knew you could do better. 

The Truth: Asking for what you want after age 50 is going to take work. It’s going to take practice. But that doesn’t make it “too hard.” That makes it something you owe to yourself to do. Especially after divorce.

Divorce Myth #4: You Don’t Deserve It

If you’re anything like me, you probably carry this weight that you should be grateful for the things you have. You may have heard it for decades from your family. At church. Or even at work. 

“You should just be grateful for what you have.” 

“That’s asking a bit much, isn’t it?” 

This myth is what keeps us from investing in ourselves. 

The Truth: You 100% deserve to ask for what you want. It is your right. And it’s your responsibility. 

Messages about your unworthiness came most likely from toxic patriarchal values that were designed to keep divorced women over 50 like you feeling ashamed and unworthy. 

It doesn’t matter if society’s message of “just be grateful” even if you know you aren’t happy and know you deserve more is swirling around in your head. 

This is *your time* and you deserve to confidently ask for what you want. 

Even if you’re divorced. 

Even if you’re over 50.

It is time to ask for what you want. Because that’s what you deserve. 

How long has it been since you did something because you wanted to? Have you allowed yourself to want to do things for yourself? Have you been taught you should be utterly selfless? Please share how you handle such thoughts, especially after divorce.

You might be able to do your seven-step skincare routine in your sleep, but have you given any TLC to the rest of the skin on your body lately? Your face may be glowing and nearly pore-less, but the dry, cracked skin on your elbows might be screaming out for help. Treat your parched and scaly skin to one of the best sugar body scrubs. You might hesitate when you hear the word “scrub,” especially if you have sensitive skin, but don’t worry. Unlike other exfoliating scrubs, this one won’t totally dry out your skin and leave it worse off than before. The sugar, which is much gentler than salt, is combined with oil to slough off dead dull skin cells and moisturize your healthy skin underneath at the same time. 

It’s basically a 2-in-1 skincare product that you bring into the shower with you. You accomplish two tasks at once. You just gently massage it into your skin when you shower and rinse it off. It’s that easy. These body scrubs are must-haves. They’ll make your after-shower moisturizing that much more effective. We rounded up the top sugar body scrubs for you. You can even use a few of them on your face and lips—talk about a versatile product.

Courtesy of Dermelect.

Dermelect All-Aglow All Over Scrub

This multifunctional scrub can — as its name suggests — be used anywhere you need some extra exfoliation: hands, lips, back, and more. Best of all now, not only does it function is a gentle physical exfoliant, but it’s also infused with a slew of antioxidants and anti-inflammatory ingredients to help calm the skin and reduce irritation.

Courtesy of Tree Hut.

Tree Hut Sugar & Shae Butter Scrub

Made out of shea butter and a mix of seed and fruit oils, this is definitely a popular sugar scrub. You rub it on your skin as you shower and it both softens and moisturizes your skin, while hitting you with a beautiful aroma. It’s a great exfoliator and removes dead skin. There are four different varieties of sugar scrub, including Tropical Mango, Pear & Chia, Mocha & Coffee Bean and Amazon Pequi.

Buy: Tree Hut Scrub $6.48

Courtesy of Brooklyn Botany.

Brooklyn Botany Body Scrub

The exfoliating scrub will remove any dead skin and moisturize the healthy, elastic skin underneath. Designed for sensitive skin, the scrub gives you a gentle treatment that won’t leave your skin feeling dried out. This scrub isn’t just for your body either. You can also use it on your face and feet. It can even be a lip scrub in a pinch. You’ll feel like you just stepped out of a spa treatment.

Buy: Brooklyn Botany Scrub $14.95

Courtesy of M3 Naturals.

M3 Naturals Brown Sugar Scrub

This brown sugar scrub has a few extra secret weapons baked in—collagen and stem cells. This antioxidant-rich scrub gives you healthier, more elastic skin while also getting rid of toxins. Your skin will look younger and more supple after a good scrub because it’s moisturizing. In addition to getting rid of blackheads, the face and body scrub can also reduce the size of your pores.

Buy: M3 Naturals Scrub $27

Courtesy of Bella and Bear.

Bella & Bear Goddess Body Scrub

If you’re struggling with keratosis or super dry scale-y skin, you should check out this powerful body scrub. It’ll help soften your skin, while sloughing away dead skin cells. The scrub will keep your brighter skin, while preventing in-grown hairs. Plus, this scrub only has a slight but enjoyable smell, so it won’t overwhelm you while you’re showering.

Buy: Bella & Bear Scrub $8.99

Dorit Kemsley’s Black Piped Pajamas in Lake Tahoe,

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 11 Episode 3 Fashion

Though I though that nothing could bring me more joy than finding Dorit Kemsley’s “More Joy” black piped pajamas from Lake Tahoe, something did. And it was that when I found them I saw that they came complete with an on sale price tag. So if you need me I’ll be taking a joy ride, knocking back  sipping martinis water in my new satin pajamas that I saved on.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Christopher Kane “More Joy” Pajamas

Click Here for Additional Stock on SALE

Originally posted at: Dorit Kemsley’s Black Piped Pajamas

Dorit Kemsley’s Anti-Aging Serum

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 11 Episode 3 Fashion

I’d be lying to you if I didn’t say that right now I’m A) EXTREMELY excited to have spotted Dorit Kemsley’s anti-aging night serum on her bathroom counter in Lake Tahoe. B) Extremely tired. I’m so tired, in fact, that the only thing that could make me want to go to bed more in this moment is the possibility of heading to my bathroom, putting a serum on my face and waking up with skin like Dorit’s.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Dr Barbara Sturm Night Serum

*Sturm products are also a fave of Lisa Rinna!*

Originally posted at: Dorit Kemsley’s Anti-Aging Serum

When I asked the women in our community to share their questions about makeup for women over 60, there was one from Carol, who asked about facial hair removal. So, to help investigate this issue, I turned to my good friend, Ariane Poole.

If you have been following Sixty and Me for a while, you have probably already been introduced to Ariane. Not only is she a fantastic makeup artist, but she is also a warm person and a good friend. Below is a quick summary of some of the points that we discussed.

The Mysterious World of Facial Hair After 60

There are many mysteries that women over 60 have to deal with. Why is it so difficult to lose weight as we get a little older, even when we are eating less? Which parallel universe do all of our socks disappear into? Why does the hair on our heads tend to get thinner, while the hair on our faces gets thicker?

Of course, on some level, we all know that the extra facial hair that seems to magically appear is actually the result of our changing hormones. But that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

Fortunately, Ariane says that there are good (and bad) ways to deal with unwanted facial hair. First, let’s look at what NOT to do.

The Wrong Way to Deal with Unwanted Facial Hair

When we discover unwanted facial hair, our first reaction may be to shave it off. After all, we’ve been applying this technique to the rest of our body for decades and it’s worked pretty well. The problem, as Ariane explains, is that shaving tends to make your hair grow back in thicker. This isn’t so much of a problem on your legs, but it’s more noticeable on your face.

Another technique to be careful of is threading. This is an Indian technique that uses a thread to pull out each hair. While this is an effective technique for shaping your eyebrows, it may be too harsh for the delicate area around your lips.

What Is the Best Facial Hair Removal Technique for Women Our Age?

So, if shaving and threading are out, what options do we have left?

Tweezing

Ariane says that one of the best ways to deal with unwanted facial hair is tweezing. If you go this direction, make sure that you have a high magnification mirror and a light.

Waxing

Depending on the sensitivity of your skin, waxing may also be an option. The only downside is that this process tends to inflame the delicate skin around your lips. You can always use one of the products from Ariane’s concealer palette to cover up the redness.

Ariane recommends that you have it done professionally first. It’s the only way to know how your skin will react, how it should feel, and the correct way of doing it. Once you know all that, if you want to try an at-home wax removal kit, you can.

Depilatory Creams

Depilatory creams like Nair and Veet have been around for a long time. New formulas, like Sally Hansen Hair Remover Duo Kit, are now created for delicate facial skin.

It’s always a good idea to do a patch test first before applying to larger areas on your face.

Dermaplaning

Dermaplaning is rather new to the hair removal industry. The procedure consists of gently scraping away with a scalpel the layer of dead skin and fine hair on the face. This is a temporary way of removing facial hair and fuzz and needs to be repeated regularly.

This is best left in the hands of a professional esthetician.

Professional Laser Treatments

If you really are at your wit’s end, Ariane says that laser treatments can have the desired effect. The obvious downside here is the cost. But if you feel like this is a good investment, it is certainly one of the most effective options.

At-Home Lasers

Many women swear by the IPL Hair Removal device, a small gadget that is akin to a mini at-home laser device. Your results may depend on your skin and the type of hair you use it on. For example, coarse leg hair and downy facial hair may have different outcomes, but it may be a good option if facial hair removal is your main concern.

Electrolysis

Electrolysis is an effective way of eliminating facial hair and is a technique that has been widely available for several decades now.

It works by sending heat and chemicals into the hair follicles making the hair fall out and essentially not grow back. This is also on the pricier side, takes several sessions, and not all skin complexions are good candidates for the treatment.

Which Method Is Best for Me?

Choosing the best option for you depends on a number of factors. How much hair you want to remove, the coarseness of the hair and, although none of the methods mentioned here cause an extreme amount of pain, your pain threshold is another thing to consider. Laser hair removal is much more uncomfortable than threading, for example.

The best thing to do is to just try one method and see how it works, making sure to test it on a small area first to see how your skin reacts. If you’re not happy with the results, try another. Some women get the best outcomes from threading, others prefer waxing. For some, laser is the only thing that truly works for them.

For many women, facial hair is not bothersome, and leaving it alone is the best choice for them. The important thing to know is that, if you are struggling with unwanted facial hair after 60, there are a number of ways to get rid of it. The choice is yours!

Never Forget that You Are Beautiful, with or Without Unwanted Facial Hair

For many older women, including myself, makeup has become a form of personal expression, not an attempt to impress someone else. At Sixty and Me, we don’t shy away from taboo subjects. At the same time, I want to remind you that makeup for women over 60 should be fun.

You are beautiful just the way you are. If you feel like removing your facial hair, go for it! But never forget that you are amazing, inside and out!

Have you tried any of the facial hair removal techniques listed in this article? Which ones worked best for you? Please take a few seconds to join the conversation. Our community is stronger because of you!