In your journey to get confident and feel better about yourself after 50, you cannot be afraid to step on toes. In other words, do for yourself what no one else will do for you.

Don’t Be Afraid to Put Yourself First 

Strong women will end up ticking people off. And that’s okay.

Now, to be clear, I’m not talking about hurting folks off in the wanton, sociopathic, Fatal Attraction bunny rabbit kind of way.

What I do mean, however, is that from now on, you need to start internalizing that you matter. What you want matters. Your worth matters.

Because here’s the thing. As you recover from your divorce, rebuild your self-esteem, and learn how to set healthy boundaries, there will be many people around you – some may even be close friends or family members – who may not like that you’re voicing your opinion.

Let this be the time you stick up for yourself. And if they get angry or offended that you defend your worth, forget about them. You don’t need their toxicity anyway.

Learn to Stick Up for Yourself

So many of us have been raised to not raise our voice. To just play nicely. To not cause a ruckus. And yeah, when you’re at a funeral or in a theater those our great guidelines.

However, that kind of social conditioning usually means that you allow other people, including your spouse, to always have their way so there wouldn’t be a conflict.

Maybe the role you had in your marriage was to always go along with his decisions – even when they didn’t serve you – because you didn’t want to fight or make him upset.

Doing that for years, however, probably made you resentful or stole your self-confidence and ability to find your own voice. And this silence may have buried the part of you that had dreams and hopes and goals that were every bit as valid as your partner’s and your children’s.

While it may not seem like it, that part of you is still alive. That part of you deserves to be heard, acknowledged, and validated.

But you have to do it yourself. It may seem intimidating, but you must speak up for yourself this year. And let people in your life know what you want.

It won’t be easy, but don’t get discouraged. At the end of the day, as you transition to being divorced and independent in your life, there is one thing that will always be true.

No one will stand up for you but you – and you are all you need.

Stand Up for Yourself

You’ve mattered all along, although people in your life probably weren’t reminding you of that. Heck, you probably forgot to remind yourself that you mattered. But you must start internalizing this message.

Don’t be afraid to tell the people in your life – the ones who drain you, take advantage of you, and don’t appreciate you – to back up, to shape up, or to leave you in peace.

You must be your own advocate.

You must be the person in the mirror who tells you that you got this.

You must know that it’s time to put yourself first for a change.

And if you need help, ask for it!

Because at the end of the day, you have yourself. And if you do it right, that is all you need.

What steps will you take this year to stand up for yourself? What does finding your voice again look like for you? Let’s engage in a conversation!

Fans of Fenty Beauty’s Gloss Bomb, the non-sticky lip gloss favorite, are going crazy over the brand’s newest formula. Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Heat is the first lip plumper from Rihanna’s beauty brand and a truly unique one at that. Plumping lip gloss is nothing new and there are some great ones on the market. But Gloss Bomb Heat has much more than just plumping action. Allow me to explain.

I love the hydrating Gloss Bomb formula so I was excited to try this new iteration. It has the same conditioning shea butter and vitamin E blend to help lock in moisture but the addition of ginger root oil and capsicum fruit extract (pepper) to instantly plump lips. I planned to use Gloss Bomb Heat as a topper on my usual lipstick shades, adding high-shine for a Hot Vax Summer vibe.

But it turns out, I’m obsessed with the non-shimmer color of Gloss Bomb Heat Universal Lip Luminizer + Plumper on its own. The Hot Cherry shade looks very red in the tube but when applied, is the perfect sheer hue. It’s not too pigmented, but just enough to add color to the shine.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Fenty Beauty.

When I posted about Gloss Bomb Heat on my Instagram the most popular question I got was, does it hurt? I would admit that it does burn a bit but less than others I’ve tried. My favorite thing about this formula is that it’s not just the plumping ingredients that make your lips appear fuller. The shiny red color makes a big difference and the lush shea butter adds to the effect.

Source: Instagram

The color also lasts a few hours on the lips before you need to apply again, which is key for me when I’m out running around. Plus, when you apply another layer, you don’t get that dry, sticky texture that sometimes happens when one layer has dried. The formula is thick and hydrating enough to layer on as much as you’d like. If you’ve been wanting lip filler or just want to steal Rihanna’s perfect summer pout, this gloss is going to be your new favorite.

Fans of Fenty Beauty’s Gloss Bomb, the non-sticky lip gloss favorite, are going crazy over the brand’s newest formula. Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Heat is the first lip plumper from Rihanna’s beauty brand and a truly unique one at that. Plumping lip gloss is nothing new and there are some great ones on the market. But Gloss Bomb Heat has much more than just plumping action. Allow me to explain.

I love the hydrating Gloss Bomb formula so I was excited to try this new iteration. It has the same conditioning shea butter and vitamin E blend to help lock in moisture but the addition of ginger root oil and capsicum fruit extract (pepper) to instantly plump lips. I planned to use Gloss Bomb Heat as a topper on my usual lipstick shades, adding high-shine for a Hot Vax Summer vibe.

But it turns out, I’m obsessed with the non-shimmer color of Gloss Bomb Heat Universal Lip Luminizer + Plumper on its own. The Hot Cherry shade looks very red in the tube but when applied, is the perfect sheer hue. It’s not too pigmented, but just enough to add color to the shine.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Fenty Beauty.

When I posted about Gloss Bomb Heat on my Instagram the most popular question I got was, does it hurt? I would admit that it does burn a bit but less than others I’ve tried. My favorite thing about this formula is that it’s not just the plumping ingredients that make your lips appear fuller. The shiny red color makes a big difference and the lush shea butter adds to the effect.

Source: Instagram

The color also lasts a few hours on the lips before you need to apply again, which is key for me when I’m out running around. Plus, when you apply another layer, you don’t get that dry, sticky texture that sometimes happens when one layer has dried. The formula is thick and hydrating enough to layer on as much as you’d like. If you’ve been wanting lip filler or just want to steal Rihanna’s perfect summer pout, this gloss is going to be your new favorite.

Fans of Fenty Beauty’s Gloss Bomb, the non-sticky lip gloss favorite, are going crazy over the brand’s newest formula. Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Heat is the first lip plumper from Rihanna’s beauty brand and a truly unique one at that. Plumping lip gloss is nothing new and there are some great ones on the market. But Gloss Bomb Heat has much more than just plumping action. Allow me to explain.

I love the hydrating Gloss Bomb formula so I was excited to try this new iteration. It has the same conditioning shea butter and vitamin E blend to help lock in moisture but the addition of ginger root oil and capsicum fruit extract (pepper) to instantly plump lips. I planned to use Gloss Bomb Heat as a topper on my usual lipstick shades, adding high-shine for a Hot Vax Summer vibe.

But it turns out, I’m obsessed with the non-shimmer color of Gloss Bomb Heat Universal Lip Luminizer + Plumper on its own. The Hot Cherry shade looks very red in the tube but when applied, is the perfect sheer hue. It’s not too pigmented, but just enough to add color to the shine.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Fenty Beauty.

When I posted about Gloss Bomb Heat on my Instagram the most popular question I got was, does it hurt? I would admit that it does burn a bit but less than others I’ve tried. My favorite thing about this formula is that it’s not just the plumping ingredients that make your lips appear fuller. The shiny red color makes a big difference and the lush shea butter adds to the effect.

Source: Instagram

The color also lasts a few hours on the lips before you need to apply again, which is key for me when I’m out running around. Plus, when you apply another layer, you don’t get that dry, sticky texture that sometimes happens when one layer has dried. The formula is thick and hydrating enough to layer on as much as you’d like. If you’ve been wanting lip filler or just want to steal Rihanna’s perfect summer pout, this gloss is going to be your new favorite.

Magazines are full of articles about fashion for women over 50. Some give good advice, others not so much.

I want to talk about fashion that enhances our lifestyle. Is your lifestyle healthy with lots of movement? Do you enjoy hobbies that dirty your clothes? Are you attending small group events? Do you travel or like relaxing at home?

These activities require different clothes that offer comfort, ease and style. Not style dictated by fashion magazines, but a style that expresses your uniqueness.

Shoes

Remember the heels you wore in your teens? My stilettos had very pointy tips which squeezed my toes together for the duration of a night on the dance floor or an afternoon going shopping.

The bunion and hammer toe that adorn my feet now make me cringe how shoe fashion in my younger years affected my feet.

Luckily, fashion changed, and in my early 20s, when the counterculture was in full bloom, I wore wide toe box, flat Mary-Janes, followed by Birkenstocks and sneakers.

I thank that fashion era for saving my feet so I can hike and walk at my current age. Professional life did put its constraints on my shoe wear, but I managed with a minimal heel and a roomy enough toe box.

With age my foot has expanded, and I buy a larger size that accommodates my foot changes. I walk and hike many miles each year, and I won’t let ‘fashionable’ shoes impair my active lifestyle.

The shoe market now carries at least a few pairs that match comfort and style for the dress-up occasions that happen less and less in my life.

Dresses and Skirts

I recently did a purge of my closets. I looked at my dresses, reminisced over the graduations and weddings of my children when I wore them, and tossed them.

I looked at the jackets and blouses I wore to the office and kept only my top two favorites. They were made from a knit material that moves with my body, which doesn’t crumple when I stuff it in the overhead compartment in the plane. They give me European travel style when I combine it with a scarf and a decent looking pair of slacks.

Skirts are out, and shorts serve me fine in hot weather. Comfort, style and travel worthiness are my criteria for the clothes that make it in my shopping bag.

Blouses

Blouses are still in my closet and I follow the yearly design changes that make for an attractive fit. Out are the straight boxy style that hang off my shoulders and need constant pulling to stay put. Out are the flowery kind that make me look like an old lady – patterns do matter!

Out are the sequined, glittery ones for sparkling in low light. Those late-night escapades are over, and I’m in bed early every night.

In are the fitted dress shirts with stretch to accommodate my still muscular arms and shoulders, which are stylish enough to wear when I speak to a group or any other slightly official event.

In go the SPF40 sun protective shirts with side ventilation and a long tail to accommodate a backpack. Short-sleeved shirts have had to undergo the same scrutiny. Does the material wick? Does it enhance my sagging shapes, hide my curving spine?

Pants

At first sight, pants hanging in my closet all look the same. Conservative fit, not too tight, not too loose. Jeans and jeans-like cut. A variety of colors to match shirts and sweaters. A few slacks have more drape, are made of a finer material. I haven’t worn them in the years since I retired.

I switch between loose yoga pants for morning writing and home-office work, and a pair of jeans for working in the garden.

I keep an array of hiking pants, light or heavier depending on the weather. Some of them work for dining out on my travels. I have an array of tights for my work-outs in the gym, on the water and in my exercise room at home.

For style, I have a pair of moderate skinny jeans that tuck in a cute pair of slip-on boots and with a good-looking tunic or shirt make an attractive outfit. This is the style I now consider more practical.

I’m a walker and a backpack is my go-to carrying device. I need my pants to have a pocket that holds my phone securely and keeps it accessible.

I want to live long and be healthy, so I need clothes that serve that purpose. I still enjoy compliments on my looks. I will consider the latest fashion when I buy a new piece, but only after the live-long, be healthy, and comfort criteria have been met.

What are your criteria for life-enhancing clothing? Do you follow fashion trends, or do you prefer to be your own style guide? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.