Karen Huger’s Black Turtleneck Top at Gizelle’s House

Real Housewives of Potomac Season 7 Episode 11 Fashion

Karen Huger looked snatched to join Gizelle Bryant at her house for a little gossip sesh. Which speaking of, we are about to have a little gossip session of our own. Because I’m sharing with you where to get your hands on Karen’s black turtleneck top down below since it’s no secret it looks cute.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Under Armour Top

Originally posted at: Karen Huger’s Black Turtleneck Top

In the previous two blogs, I shared the first two phases on the Road Through Recovery. Each of the five phases consists of feelings and emotions you may be conflicted about; and as a result, they keep you stuck in the past.

The first phase is Rejection whereby you may still be in denial of the reality of your situation. Rejection is used as a defense mechanism so that don’t have to deal with all your conflicted feelings. The second phase is Resentment. Here you may have complicated feelings that are difficult to process, and you find yourself playing the “victim.”

The third phase on the Road Through Recovery after divorce is the Renegotiation Phase. In this phase you may feel desperate to alleviate the pain and willing to do almost anything to lessen it. It’s your way of trying to postpone the inevitable. You may look for ways to regain control or change the outcome that is now your present reality.

This phase gives you temporary escape from what is; and if used in a healthy way, it can give you needed time to adjust to how your life is now. If not, you find yourself making up scenarios in your mind trying to make a deal. You imagine trying to go back and doing things differently so that the outcome is contrary to the facts.

Spending time and energy around what could have been gives the past the power to take away the potential for a new, purposeful future that you deserve.

Renegotiation as a Defense Mechanism

There could have been a multitude of disappointments and unhappiness over many issues. This phase is used as a defense mechanism against the feelings of misery and pain. It aids in stalling the emotions of hurt, confusion, and sadness.

Attempts to try to stay connected after the marriage is over are counterproductive to the healing process. They prevent the clean emotional break that is necessary to move forward.

Meet Libby

Libby is dwelling on the “What If” and “If Only” scenarios and will do anything or resort to drastic measures to try to win her “ex” back. This includes a willingness to change herself.

She tries making a promise and a deal with a higher power and thinks, “Please, if my husband will give me another chance, I’ll make the right choice this time.”

Libby blames herself for losing her husband, Noah. Libby met Noah at work while in her early 30s, and they were married for 31 years. They both had children from previous marriages. Both were passionate about their careers; and now, after many years of service, they were ready to retire.

Libby had been looking forward to relaxing and pursuing some of her hobbies and interests that had been cast aside while filling the roles of mother, wife, caretaker of father until he passed, and career woman. She was totally exhausted.

Noah’s had other ideas. He wanted to travel and see the world and get to it as soon as possible. They have had discussions about what they wanted to do when they retire. Libby’s vision, now that the time had come, had drastically changed and was no longer aligned with Noah’s. They had also grown apart little by little over the years.

Long story short, Noah filed for divorce and left to follow his dreams. Now, in the present moment, Libby wishes she had just gone off with him.

What Feelings and Emotions Does Libby Experience?

Libby feels guilt and pain about her decision to stay behind and be true to herself. This leaves her feeling that she doesn’t deserve to be happy. She is stuck within the Road Through Recovery.

She can’t stop thinking about how her decision causes worry and unhappiness to those who are closest to her.

By trying to renegotiate the past in her mind, she’s not able to move out of it. Libby’s simply stuck.

What Does She Begin to Recognize?

Libby becomes “unstuck” and begins to RISE UP AFTER DIVORCE when she realizes that she has to work though some tough personal challenges. Ways she found to release the bartering back and forth in her mind were the following:

• Learn to stop going over scenarios in her mind that could resurrect the marriage because it is over.
• Refocus on the next step moving forward instead of rumination on what could have been done differently.
• Realize that renegotiating is a buffer against the emotions of melancholy, regret, or fear.

What Are Some Simple Steps Libby Can Take?

1. Become aware of when the bargaining scenario (words or actions) plays in her head. Write it down. Then, write a scenario that is self-empowering refocusing her thoughts to her present life.
2. List three reasons why being true to herself, her authentic self, is to be celebrated.
3. Read about the power of forgiving oneself, and how it is freeing and liberating. Accept her feelings and forgive herself because it makes it easier to move forward.
4. Engage in a special activity that brings happiness and joy because she deserves it.

What Are the Positive Takeaways?

Libby learns that focusing her thoughts on the past and what could have been is a waste of good time and energy. She realizes that trying to regain something that isn’t available anymore is not in her best interest. Shaming and blaming herself doesn’t serve any constructive purpose in helping her to move forward. She begins to recover and heal.

If you feel you may be stuck in the Renegotiation Phase, I encourage you to take the RENEGOTIATION PHASE SURVEY. It’s my gift to you. It has questions, suggestions, and ideas for action steps going forward. You can watch this free webinar. Learn how to rise up after divorce and create a new, purposeful life.

Sixty and Me needs your support. Please fill out our short end-of-year survey!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Does bargaining in your mind serve you in any way? Is it going to change your situation, circumstance, or the condition of your present life?

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

—Epictetus (50–135 CE)

Relationships Are Vital

Our relationships with others can make life a delight. If our lives are full of family and friends with whom we have a loving and fulfilling relationship, we have a treasure beyond price. When we’re sad, they can help us lift our spirits.

When we’re troubled, they can help us navigate our way through any challenge to a successful outcome. When we are happy, they can increase that happiness by sharing it with us. On the other hand, when our relationships with other people are dysfunctional, we will never know the pleasure or joy that comes from truly loving relationships.

What Is a Mature Relationship?

A mature relationship with others is one in which we ourselves behave in an emotionally mature fashion. Here’s what that means:

• Self-aware, and self-reflective, we act with emotional restraint. We do not act like babies and throw things around, or deliberately hurt other people.
• We respect the other person’s autonomy, and the most important facet of any relationship, whether between individuals or groups of people, is that the autonomy of the other is respected. We give them freedom from our control. The desire to control others is an immaturity.
• We love non-judgmentally, accepting the other person exactly as they are. We do not criticise negatively.
• We work with the other person, instead of imposing our will on them. We sit down and talk with them unemotionally about any problems.
• We practice empathy, making the effort to see the point of view of the other person. We try to put ourselves into the shoes of the other person.
• We listen carefully and patiently to what is said before answering. We let the other person talk and present their point of view, without interrupting.
• We honestly present our point of view in any situation. We speak our truth, recognising that this is how we see it.
• We set clear boundaries that we are not prepared to have crossed. We do not let our own integrity be breached simply to please another person, or out of fear of the consequences.

Do You Set Boundaries in Your Relationships?

All healthy relationships have boundaries. When setting these we have to:

• Recognise our feelings.
• Know how we want to be treated.
• Recognise when and how our boundaries have been crossed.
• Recognise how we need to set our boundaries.
• Communicate what boundaries we need to set.
• Take care of ourselves first, before we can take care of others.
• Recognise our feelings, and allow ourselves to feel them, when a hurtful event happens in our life. We may need to talk about our feelings, whether to a trusted family member, friend, or counsellor. We need to explore what happened and gain an objective understanding of the event, including the behaviour of all concerned. We can stand back and look at the big picture to put the incident into perspective. We can establish boundaries around ourselves to protect our own integrity. We can then take the necessary action to rectify the situation.

Do You Make Healthy Choices in Your Relationships?

We all have choices we have to make in life, and we are responsible for those choices. One important choice we can make is to be happy. If someone or something hurts us, we can choose to react as do the Stoics: we can control our reaction.

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus said it’s not things that hurt us, it’s our judgement about those things. We can look at the big picture and put everything in perspective. We can analyse the situation, knowing that there are always many viewpoints, and choose to let it go. We can choose to be happy regardless of the behaviour of others.

What Does a Mature Relationship Look Like?

Let’s take the example of parents whose teenage daughter has been staying out well past midnight lately. In a household where the relationships between family members are mature, the parents would sit down with their daughter and discuss quietly, without emotion, why they need to set a curfew for her.

They would listen to their daughter’s perspective and show that they understand that she, like most teenagers, wants to go out with friends and have fun. They could then go on to explain that the curfew is being put in place out of concern for her safety. They could make clear that as long as she is in their care, they have a responsibility to safeguard her welfare.

The win-win would be if they could come to a common understanding on how the daughter will organize her social life so she can go out with her friends but come home at an acceptable, safe time.

How to Be an Adult in Relationships (2021) by David Richo is an interesting book and a useful tool in helping build healthy relationships.

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Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have mature, loving relationships with your family and friends? Can you see where you may need to change in order to develop such relationships? Are you prepared to do the work required?

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

If you’re as picky as I am when it comes to makeup, then the hunt for the perfect primer is always on. I’ve tried many in my days, to no avail—some formulas pill underneath foundation, while others bring a fresh crop of breakouts after a day of wear. That’s why leaning on the opinions of fellow shoppers is an almost foolproof way of discovering products that actually work. Case in point: Tula’s Blurring & Moisturizing Primer has earned over 6,300 five-star ratings from users of all ages, and its larger size is currently on major discount. 

During this limited time sale, scoop up the primer’s supersize version for 40 percent off, automatically at checkout. The sale ends on December 25 at midnight PST, so we’d recommend hurrying! Considering the regular version costs $38 on its own, this is an incredible deal to score more product for less.

The dermatologist-tested primer is available in four different shades (as well as a non-tinted version) ranging from fair to deep. It contains plenty of skin-loving ingredients—prebiotic and probiotic extracts and licorice—that smooth the skin’s texture, balance out uneven tone and minimize the appearance of dark spots and redness. Essentially, it blurs any concerns underneath makeup while also working to heal them. We love a 2-in-1. 

Courtesy of Tula

It works its blurring magic across all skin types, providing a ‘filter-like’ finish across blemish-prone, dry, oily, mature and sensitive complexions. What’s more, the formula is completely non-comedogenic, meaning it won’t clog your pores or trigger blackheads and breakouts. Instead, it adds an extra level of hydration to the face that makes makeup glide on effortlessly. 

And because Tula doesn’t mess around, the brand put the primer to the test through several subject trials. After one use on 122 subjects, 96 percent agreed their foundation applied more evenly and smoothly, while near equal percentages said their skin looked more even-toned, brighter and illuminated, and claimed their chosen shade worked for their skin tone. Similar findings were reported after a four-week test run, where 90 percent of users said the primer gripped their foundation well, and left their skin feeling nourished. 

RELATED: Shoppers Say This Anti-Aging Night Cream Is ‘Comparable to The La Mer Face Cream’—& It’s Under $16 Today

We’ve already established shopper reviews are golden when it comes to hunting down your next favorite, which is why highlighting some of the Blurring & Moisturizing Primer’s praise is pivotal. 

According to one 72-year-old reviewer, the primer is worth stocking up on. “I like it so much I ordered another one immediately after using it for the first time,” they wrote. 

Another person claimed the primer has them looking “10 years younger” than their actual age. “After using this product for three days I had multiple people tell me my face was looking fresher and tighter,” they said. “One of my friends thought I had gotten Botox. It reduces redness, and evens out your skin tone. I also use WAY less foundation when I apply this product first.”

“I’ve been looking for years to find a primer I absolutely love! I found it! Most primers leave my skin oily later in the day, this does not! Some days I only wear this, it has a little bit of a tint so it does so it gives some coverage,” raved a third. 

If no other primer has given you the filter-like skin it claims to, it’s time to add Tula’s Blurring & Moisturizing Primer into your makeup bag during this rare sale.

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

If you’re as picky as I am when it comes to makeup, then the hunt for the perfect primer is always on. I’ve tried many in my days, to no avail—some formulas pill underneath foundation, while others bring a fresh crop of breakouts after a day of wear. That’s why leaning on the opinions of fellow shoppers is an almost foolproof way of discovering products that actually work. Case in point: Tula’s Blurring & Moisturizing Primer has earned over 6,300 five-star ratings from users of all ages, and its larger size is currently on major discount. 

During this limited time sale, scoop up the primer’s supersize version for 40 percent off, automatically at checkout. The sale ends on December 25 at midnight PST, so we’d recommend hurrying! Considering the regular version costs $38 on its own, this is an incredible deal to score more product for less.

The dermatologist-tested primer is available in four different shades (as well as a non-tinted version) ranging from fair to deep. It contains plenty of skin-loving ingredients—prebiotic and probiotic extracts and licorice—that smooth the skin’s texture, balance out uneven tone and minimize the appearance of dark spots and redness. Essentially, it blurs any concerns underneath makeup while also working to heal them. We love a 2-in-1. 

Courtesy of Tula

It works its blurring magic across all skin types, providing a ‘filter-like’ finish across blemish-prone, dry, oily, mature and sensitive complexions. What’s more, the formula is completely non-comedogenic, meaning it won’t clog your pores or trigger blackheads and breakouts. Instead, it adds an extra level of hydration to the face that makes makeup glide on effortlessly. 

And because Tula doesn’t mess around, the brand put the primer to the test through several subject trials. After one use on 122 subjects, 96 percent agreed their foundation applied more evenly and smoothly, while near equal percentages said their skin looked more even-toned, brighter and illuminated, and claimed their chosen shade worked for their skin tone. Similar findings were reported after a four-week test run, where 90 percent of users said the primer gripped their foundation well, and left their skin feeling nourished. 

RELATED: Shoppers Say This Anti-Aging Night Cream Is ‘Comparable to The La Mer Face Cream’—& It’s Under $16 Today

We’ve already established shopper reviews are golden when it comes to hunting down your next favorite, which is why highlighting some of the Blurring & Moisturizing Primer’s praise is pivotal. 

According to one 72-year-old reviewer, the primer is worth stocking up on. “I like it so much I ordered another one immediately after using it for the first time,” they wrote. 

Another person claimed the primer has them looking “10 years younger” than their actual age. “After using this product for three days I had multiple people tell me my face was looking fresher and tighter,” they said. “One of my friends thought I had gotten Botox. It reduces redness, and evens out your skin tone. I also use WAY less foundation when I apply this product first.”

“I’ve been looking for years to find a primer I absolutely love! I found it! Most primers leave my skin oily later in the day, this does not! Some days I only wear this, it has a little bit of a tint so it does so it gives some coverage,” raved a third. 

If no other primer has given you the filter-like skin it claims to, it’s time to add Tula’s Blurring & Moisturizing Primer into your makeup bag during this rare sale.