Month: May 2025

Not all couples on The Amazing Race make it to the finish line, both on and off the show

My mom knew how to bake the best cinnamon rolls on the planet. She made Cinnabon look like dog food. We would come home from school, smell the aroma, fling our backpacks in the corner and BOLT into the kitchen. Her cinnamon rolls were like eating crack; you couldn’t just have one of them. They were completely homemade with more sugar than is now deemed healthy, and we gobbled up those delectable treats and lived to tell the tale.

I have two grown daughters, and I’m sad to say I never learned how to make Mom’s cinnamon rolls! However, I did learn how to make the finest and most delicious pumpkin bread, which has brought about a lifetime of requests.

I now live in Ecuador, so the time with my daughters is less frequent, but the wonderful memories of our lives together flood my mind on Mother’s Day. When I can, I fly them to Cuenca, the city where I now live, and even with the delicious postres (deserts) here, one of them will inevitably ask for pumpkin bread.

Whether you celebrate with your children, your own mother (or both!), Mother’s Day is a special occasion. To honor it, my friend Maureen and I decided to create a quick and easy Mother’s Day look for all of you who have done so much for so many, and want to sparkle with a fresh, hot off-the-press look. Let’s do it!

Quick and Pretty Skin

You don’t need 50 products for pretty skin. That’s just a sales pitch from skin care companies. My two favorite products that offer the greatest impact are oil soluble vitamin C serum (THDA), and hyaluronic acid. Because we are moving fast today, I applied some hyaluronic acid for instant plumping and a primer to further give Maureen’s skin a glow and keep her makeup fresh. After that, I used a medium coverage CC Cream to even her skin out. I am a big fan of this product; it lasts all day and covers just the right amount.

After that, I applied a small amount of concealer to hide any redness around her eyes, and this is key. Today I am using a wonderful new eye pencil in Mulberry, which is a dark reddish plum shade. If you have any redness around your eyes, cheeks, lips, or skin, two things can happen.

First, your eyes might look like you’ve been hitting the wine, or second, the shade will be lost in the milieu of redness and not pop your eyes. Because of this, layer the foundation around your eyes to cover the discoloration, and then use a small amount of concealer on the red bits.

Fast and Lovely Eyes

Many of you just laughed at my title for this section. To make your eyes look lovely, speed is not normally the first noun that comes to mind. Having said that, on Maureen I only used three products and it took five minutes, so grab your brushes and let me explain.

To start, I used the yummy, water repellent, gel eyeliner pencil in Mulberry between her upper lashes. Then I blended it to remove the edges and added a small amount under her eye for definition. After that, I used a warm brown shade in the outer crease which gives the eye a nice lift. And lastly, I tossed on a dash of golden glimmer for glam. That’s it!

At the end, I applied the all important and never to be forgotten mascara in the same shade as the eyeliner, Mulberry. Because this particular mascara is a deep shade of grape it doesn’t have the red undertone that often comes with this color. It works beautifully on nearly everyone, doesn’t flake, and really pops her eyes.

Speedy Glam for Glowing Gals

Last, and not least, I added a soft pink lipstick and matching blush. For the choice of lipstick, I wanted the shade to not compete with the eyeliner color. Therefore, I went for a pinky-plum which keeps it in the same color-family as the eye liner. In fact, if you want, you can use your lipstick on your cheeks to keep everything homogenous and easy.

Returning to the quick and easy idea, using the same shade for lips and cheeks is a good way to speed things up. The most time will be spent on your eyes, but hopefully these tips will make the process much simpler.

Whatever shades you choose to use on Mother’s Day, the above makeup template is a fast and easy method and looks great on nearly everyone. Sparkle, shimmer, and even bake cinnamon rolls if you feel like it this Mother’s Day. Maureen and I will probably be out of doors enjoying the spectacular Cuenca weather and vibe.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Use the code THEBEAUTYSHAMAN for 10% off at PrimePrometics.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How are you celebrating Mother’s Day this year? Have you picked your makeup and outfit yet?

There are so many things we go through in life. While most of them teach us a great deal, there are things we do that are of no benefit, or perhaps even harmful, to us. As I have become older, and hopefully a little wiser, there are many things I have decided to remove from my life. The added bonus is that it leaves space for me to add in a few more that I love! 🙂

Dwelling on the Past or Thinking About the Future

When I was younger, I often worried about what had happened or what might happen. Now I live in the present. It is truly life changing! Obviously, I could never have changed past events; I just had to accept them, hopefully learn a little from them, and move on. As regards to the future? Who knows if there will be a future for us and how long it might last.

Now I focus on today. I start each day always grateful for what I have, and think about the things that I can add to my day to make it enjoyable. I try not to plan much as I love being able to just do whatever I feel in the moment. It sort of makes each day like a mini adventure. 🙂

Of course, there are always things which may not be pleasant… going to the dentist, sitting in traffic, cleaning the house, but I try to ‘put a spin’ on it and get something positive from it. For example, after a visit to the dentist I might buy myself a bunch of flowers or reward myself with a nice cup of tea in the garden when the house is clean. They are only little things, but sometimes it is the small things that bring us joy.

I Don’t Automatically Say Yes

I really enjoy doing things for others and making them happy. But within that I forgot to care about myself and think about my own needs and wants. Now I am able to say ‘no’ if I choose; something I would have found almost impossible a decade ago.

Before giving an automatic answer, I silently count to 10, allowing myself time to consider. Of course, if I am able to help, I will, but not to my own detriment. A simple, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t at the moment” seems to work well. I try to be clear, concise and not waffle. Generally, if I am totally honest, people understand.

Hold on to Negativity

When I was younger, I would hold on to negative thoughts and beliefs, often from childhood. The teacher who said I was a dreamer and would get nowhere, the boyfriend who left me for someone prettier, the boss who said I didn’t deserve a raise. Of course they hurt at the time, but how ridiculous to be holding on to them decades later!

Letting go of negativity is so uplifting. Often the person who made you feel that way didn’t mean what you thought or has completely forgotten about it. But there you are, decades later, thinking you can’t have a dream, you’re not pretty enough and you are lazy. It’s time to chuck it out! 🙂

What is wonderful is that every time you get rid of something negative, you leave a little space to fill it with something positive. I am a dreamer… but it helps me write. I may not be the prettiest girl in the world… but I am very pretty on the inside. Who needs a boss? I work for myself and pay me what I deserve!

Buy Things I Don’t Really Need

As I have become older, I realized the value of doing, rather than having. Consequently, I rarely buy much, especially new. My little cottage is filled with things, loved by others, and now me. I bought them for a fraction of the price. I wear many of my clothes I bought years ago and try to have things that cross the seasons, preferring to layer up rather than change my summer wardrobe to a winter one.

Not buying things that may swiftly find their way to the back of the cupboard leaves money for doing things… I can buy a new sofa, or have a holiday, a new dress or a visit to the theatre. I care much more about having fun and making memories!

Also read, Spending Thoughts: Do You Prefer to Have, Or to Do?

Worry

For many years, I seemed to worry about everything. Whether people liked me, how I looked, what I should and shouldn’t do, etc. Now I just focus on being me. It is so liberating and a fabulous feeling. It is something I really wish I had known earlier and would have saved me a huge amount of time… and pain.

We are not on this beautiful earth for very long, so I have decided to spend the rest of my time being happy. I think that is the best present I have ever given myself. 🙂

Discussion Questions:

Are there things you no longer do now that you are older? What are they? Do you find it liberating? Do you worry less now?

The Mayers crew is growing.

Let’s get something straight: I’m not here to age gracefully. I’m here to age truthfully. Loudly, if I feel like it. Quietly, if I don’t. And without a shred of apology.

Because after everything – the roles we played, the expectations we carried, the beauty standards shoved down our throats, and the invisible lines we weren’t supposed to cross — we’re still here. Not just breathing. Living.

We’ve Paid Our Dues. We Don’t Owe Anyone Pretty

Somewhere around 60, something cracks open. You stop caring whether your arms look “toned” in sleeveless tops. You stop explaining why you’re not interested in Botox, grandkids, or dating apps. You stop editing your sentences with disclaimers like, “Maybe it’s just me, but…”

It’s not just you. It’s all of us, waking up.

So here’s a wild idea: What if aging wasn’t something to battle, manage, or disguise? What if it was something to inhabit fully, like a well-worn leather jacket that fits better with time?

Aging Without Apology: How to Actually Do It

You want a guide? Here it is. No fluff, no fairy dust. Just truths that cut through the noise.

1. Drop the Performance

Stop pretending you’re okay with things you’re not. If you hate being called “young at heart,” say so. If you’re tired of being told you “don’t look your age,” challenge the compliment. You don’t owe anyone a version of yourself that fits their comfort zone.

Example: The next time someone says, “You don’t look a day over 50,” answer with, “But I am, and I’m proud of it!” Own your age, because there’s no shame in it. Why try to look 20 when you’re thriving at 60?

2. Take Up Space

Speak up in rooms that expect your silence. Wear colors that aren’t “age-appropriate.” Dance at the party. Lead the meeting. Laugh loudly. There is no expiration date on visibility.

Example: At a family gathering, don’t hesitate to voice your opinion on politics, or ask for what you need at work even if you’re the oldest in the room. Wear the vibrant red dress you’ve been eyeing, instead of “playing it safe” with muted tones. Show up in all your brilliance, unapologetically.

3. Choose Your People, Ruthlessly

Surround yourself with women who light you up, not those who dim your flame with subtle judgment or competitive undertones. At this point, only realness will do.

Example: If your friends continually talk about how “young they look” or gossip behind your back, it’s time to distance yourself. Seek out that one woman who says, “I love how you’re always so honest about where you’re at.” Build your circle with those who cheer you on, not those who drain you.

4. Tell the Truth About Your Life

The messy parts. The glorious parts. The ordinary bits, too. Share the stories of heartbreak, reinvention, survival, rage, desire. The world is starving for truth. Be the feast.

Example: Write that blog post about your journey to self-love, including the painful parts of your divorce, your late-night doubts, or how you started over financially. Or at the next dinner party, don’t shy away from sharing that you’ve recently made a life-changing decision – like deciding to live alone and relish your newfound freedom.

5. Redefine Beauty on Your Terms

Not as a rebellion. As a right. Let beauty be how your eyes soften when you’re kind to yourself. How your back straightens when you say no. How your laugh lingers in a room. You are art. Start acting like it.

Example: Instead of trying to fit into beauty standards, redefine what beauty means for you. It could be the way your body feels after a long walk or how powerful you feel when you speak your truth in front of a crowd.

This Is Not a Phase. It’s a Homecoming

There’s a quiet moment, often in the middle of folding laundry or sipping coffee alone, when it hits you: this life – your life – is finally your own. Not borrowed, not bartered, not diluted.

You move through rooms differently now. More anchored. Less rushed. There’s time, at last, to listen to the hush beneath the noise – and find that it speaks in your own voice.

Because the page is blank. And you are the only one who can write what comes next.

Send me an email at lifecoach@expertonyourlife.com to receive a free copy of Aging without Apology: the Empowerment Checklist – a tool you can use regularly to track your progress on the path to unapologetic self-expression and embracing your age with confidence.

Questions for You:

So, what do you want this next chapter to feel like? Who are you without the filters, the expectations, the performative smile? What truth have you been carrying in your bones, waiting for the space to speak it?