Month: May 2025

I have a deep, unshakable affection for the movie Serendipity. Yes, the one with John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale in cashmere and cosmic confusion. Go watch it now. I’ll wait. Okay… isn’t it predictable and sappy, but irresistible? Bonus points if you tell me you watched it with tissues and a tub of edible cookie dough. Sometimes real-life winks at us in the most perfectly timed ways. These little moments where the odds are too slim, too strangely timed to be “just chance,” that, my friend is serendipity.

Defining Serendipity (My Way)

I am 60+ and fed up with the coincidence definition of serendipity. Maybe it’s “when the universe pulls a fast one that turns out weirdly wonderful” or a cosmic Post-It Note that says, “Just trust me.” I am also a spiritual being, with faith in more than “the universe,” but that is not what I feel like writing about today. The older I get, the more I notice these moments, like déjà vu’s charming cousin who drops by unannounced with cake.

Serendipity Story #1: The Cookie Crush

It all started with butter. Lots of it. I was a poor college student who was living off of tips and had no time to date. But none of that mattered because I had a crush – a big one. He was tall, kind, and suspiciously quiet around me, which of course meant I was certain he wasn’t interested. We’d met when I was his server during a going-away party, and we’d run into each other a few times at church, but conversations were mostly him saying “Hi” and me forgetting how words worked.

Christmas was coming, and I saw my opportunity in the form of cut out cookies, pecan fingers, baklava, and a couple other varieties I couldn’t afford but baked anyway. I told myself I’d give him some of them, when in truth I knew I was going to unload the whole tray like a sugar-coated Trojan horse. This was long before cell phones, when making a call meant stretching the kitchen phone cord into the living room and around a roommate or two. I had his number, which I’d obtained through entirely legal, if stalkerish, methods, and after pacing for a full hour, I finally picked up the phone.

Busy signal. I hung up.

And I kid you not, as I was hanging up, the phone rang. It was him. Him! Calling me. To ask me out on a date. And he hadn’t even gotten the cookies yet! I remember thinking, “Well, this is it. An actual God moment.” What else could explain that serendipitous crossing of phone lines? It was the beginning of something sweet. The cookies might not have won him over, but the timing sure did.

We’ve been married for 39 years.

I am buying our baklava now.

Serendipity Story #2: The Bookstore Breadcrumb

My dad was turning 85, and we decided to give him a “Dad Day.” It would be an entire day devoted to his favorite places around his hometown before Parkinson’s made that kind of wandering so difficult. He hated using a wheelchair, but we insisted he have his day, so we pushed him through the winding sidewalks and into the small, musty used bookstore he used to haunt.

It had that charming sense of barely contained chaos only a well-used bookstore can pull off; towers of bookshelves with ladders in a former shoe store. The air smelled glorious of paper books, and I’m fairly certain there was a cat perched somewhere near the poetry section, casting judgment on our choice of nonfiction.

Dad always loved big, beautiful coffee table books, and I watched as he slowly pulled a glossy, oversized book from the “Nature” section. When I took it from him to help him flip through it, something fluttered out from between the pages. It was a program from a Wildlife Society banquet held nearly a hundred miles away, and on the front was a drawing I recognized instantly.

It was my husband’s artwork, from 10 years earlier, back when he’d contributed a design for their door prize. Somehow, from the thousands of books in that creaky old store, my dad had chosen that one. The one holding a hidden piece of my husband’s past, tucked quietly into its pages like a secret. Love, as it turns out, leaves breadcrumbs; sometimes 10 years old and hidden in a used book store, waiting to be found.

Things That Don’t Happen by Accident (Probably)

We’ve all had them – those little moments that seem too perfectly timed to be pure coincidence. Maybe it was a stranger in an airport who handed you a piece of advice that stuck with you longer than your luggage ever did. Or your toddler who blurted out a phrase you used to say as a kid, right down to the dramatic pause and eyeroll.

Maybe it was the job that landed in your lap because you turned left instead of right, or the house you found because your GPS gave up somewhere outside of town. Maybe you struck up a conversation with your future college roommate at a gas station in Nebraska. Whatever the details, there’s something oddly magical about those split-second detours that end up shaping everything.

Serendipity: What Are the Odds?

I don’t think serendipity is random at all. I prefer to believe it’s something more; a quiet nudge reminding us to stay hopeful, stay open, and occasionally spend your entire grocery budget on butter and filo dough for a man who was, and still is, worth it.

Coincidence is statistical. Serendipity is poetic. One belongs in a math book, the other in a Nora Ephron movie. Coincidence is the universe shrugging. Serendipity is the universe slipping you a note that says, “Psst… you’re gonna want to pay attention to this one.”

And when I think of the phone ringing at just the right moment, or a dusty nature book revealing a hidden thread between my father and my husband, I can’t help but believe there’s more at play than chance.

So, here’s to fluttering pages and the people who call back right after you hang up. If you haven’t had a serendipitous moment lately, don’t worry. The universe might just be baking something sweet.

Let’s Talk About It:

Can you recall a moment when you’ve said, “What are the chances?” Do you believe in serendipity, “God moments,” or wildly improbable coincidences?

“This is not dermatologist approved.”

As we move through the later chapters of our lives, we often find ourselves reflecting more deeply on our experiences and relationships. One important but often overlooked shift that can dramatically improve our emotional and physical health is learning to observe rather than judge – ourselves, others, and the world around us.

At first glance, observing and judging may seem similar. Both involve paying attention to what’s happening. But there’s a critical difference: Judging attaches a label of good, bad, right, or wrong. Observing simply notices – without immediately forming an opinion or conclusion. This subtle but profound difference can impact everything from our blood pressure to our mental sharpness, immune function, and overall sense of peace.

Understanding the Power of Observation

Observation is about awareness. It allows us to take in information neutrally, without rushing to react. In contrast, judgment tends to be emotionally charged, often triggering stress responses in the body.

Research shows that practicing nonjudgmental awareness – often called mindful observation – is associated with lower levels of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone. Individuals who engage in mindful observation practices usually have significantly lower cortisol levels and better immune markers compared to those who do not.

Real-Life Example

Imagine you’re at a family gathering, and you notice your grandson is glued to his phone during dinner. A judgmental reaction might sound like, “Kids today are so disrespectful.” This spike in irritation can subtly raise your blood pressure and put stress on your heart.

But if you simply observe, “He’s focused on his phone right now,” you allow yourself to stay calm and perhaps later approach him with curiosity rather than anger, opening space for understanding rather than resentment.

Lower stress levels are no small matter. Chronic stress is linked to a wide range of health problems common later in life, including cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, memory loss, and depression.

Also read, 3 Ways to Effectively Prevent Type 2 Diabetes.

Judging: A Hidden Source of Chronic Stress

When we judge, we often create inner tension. We might dwell on how things “should be,” criticize ourselves for not living up to expectations, or feel frustration at the behavior of others. These reactions don’t just stay in our minds – they ripple throughout our bodies.

A 2019 study in PLOS ONE found that mindfulness training may reduce levels of C-reactive protein (CRP), an inflammatory marker associated with heart disease and cognitive decline, particularly in midlife-to-older adults and individuals with higher BMI.​

Real-Life Example

Perhaps you misplace your keys or glasses – a common enough occurrence. If your mind jumps to, “I’m getting old and useless,” this judgment creates discouragement and raises cortisol, making it even harder to think clearly.

However, if you neutrally observe, “I don’t remember where I placed my glasses,” you stay grounded, feel less stressed, and can calmly retrace your steps.

Judging frequently can create a “fight-or-flight” physiological state, even if there’s no real danger. Over time, this can wear down the cardiovascular system, increase insulin resistance, and accelerate biological aging.

Observing Builds Resilience and Cognitive Vitality

Shifting from judging to observing isn’t just about reducing harm – it actively builds emotional health.

In 2020, researchers did a study where adults between the ages of 53 and 86 kept daily journals. They looked at how being mindful – especially being nonjudgmental – affected people’s emotions.

They found that adults who were less judgmental of themselves and others felt happier and handled daily stress better. This was especially true for the older adults in the study.

This suggests that having a nonjudgmental attitude can help older people stay calmer and manage their emotions more easily when life gets tough.

Observation helps the brain stay more plastic – meaning more adaptable and responsive – which is critical for maintaining mental sharpness as we age.

Real-Life Example

Suppose you overhear a neighbor voicing a strong political opinion you don’t agree with. A judging mind might immediately label them “ignorant” or “wrong,” triggering anger and separation.

An observing mind notices: “They have a different perspective,” and allows you to maintain your peace, conserve your energy, and even stay open to understanding – all of which support brain health and emotional well-being.

In addition, observing rather than judging supports resilience. When we observe challenges neutrally, we are less likely to be overwhelmed by them. Instead, we can see options and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. This skill has been linked to better outcomes in managing pain, and emotional distress.

The Link Between Observation and Physical Health

Observing with openness, rather than judging harshly, may also contribute to longer and healthier lives. There is evidence that individuals who score higher in mindful observation practices tend to have lower biological markers of inflammation and better stress responses, which are linked to healthier blood pressure, improved sleep, and stronger immune function over time.

One reason is that observation activates the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, often called the “rest and digest” system. This activation helps slow the heart rate, improve digestion, enhance cellular repair, and calm inflammation.

How to Shift from Judging to Observing

Changing long-standing mental habits takes practice, but it’s deeply rewarding. Here are a few simple ways to begin:

• Pause before reacting. Notice what you’re feeling or thinking without labeling it.
• Name what you see neutrally. Instead of “That driver is terrible,” try, “That driver is going very fast.”
• Practice self-kindness. When you make a mistake, observe it without harsh self-criticism: “I forgot my keys,” rather than “I’m hopeless.”
• Engage in mindful moments. Spend a few minutes each day simply noticing the sounds, sights, and sensations around you without judgment.

Small shifts like these, repeated daily, can create meaningful improvements in health and well-being over time.

Conclusion: Observing Is a Gift to Yourself

The art of observing rather than judging is not about ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about giving yourself the gift of clarity, peace, and resilience.

As we age, these qualities become even more precious. They help us maintain strong bodies, flexible minds, and open hearts.

By choosing to observe with kindness and curiosity, we not only improve our health – we also deepen our connection with ourselves, others, and the richness of life itself.

Let’s Have a Conversation

Have you ever caught yourself judging someone else’s behavior instead of simply observing it? What did you notice about how it made you feel – both in the moment and afterward? How does your experience differ when you simply observe without labeling or criticizing? We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

From a bamboo-scented candle to a Japanese BBQ sauce used by Hailey Bieber.

Yeehaw! It’s a real-life boogie and a real-life hoedown.