Month: December 2025

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Originally posted at: Rachel Zoe’s Lip Gloss

There’s a moment in every mother’s journey when she realizes that the way she’s been showing up is no longer serving anyone – not her children, and certainly not herself.

For me, it came in my 60s when I found myself dashing off to meet some emergency with one of my kids – yet again. Something in me whispered: When did I become a servant in my own life?

If you’re in your 60s and still operating as if your primary identity is “mother who does everything,” this is your wake-up call. Not because you’ve done anything wrong, but because you deserve more. And so do your children.

The Old Contract Is Expired

Many of us came of age when motherhood meant complete self-sacrifice. Our value was measured in clean houses, home-cooked meals, and children who never felt an ounce of discomfort. We were taught that good mothers put everyone else first, always.

That worked when our children were small and actually needed us to do everything. But we kept the same contract running long after it expired. Our children grew up, but we didn’t grow into our next role.

Now we’re in our 60s, and we’re exhausted. We’re still coordinating family dinners, still solving problems for our adult children, still putting our own needs last. We’ve carried this role so long we’ve forgotten there might be another way.

What Mentorship Actually Looks Like

Shifting from martyr to mentor doesn’t mean becoming cold or distant. It means upgrading your relationship with your adult children from manager to consultant.

A mentor shares wisdom without forcing it. She makes suggestions but doesn’t insist. She’s available for counsel, but she’s not on call 24/7. She demonstrates through her own life what strength, boundaries, and self-respect look like.

When my daughter calls with a problem now, I’ve learned to ask, “What do you think you should do?” instead of immediately jumping in with solutions. Sometimes she just needs to talk it through. Other times, she discovers she already knows the answer. Either way, she’s building her own wisdom instead of borrowing mine.

The Guilt Will Try to Stop You

Let’s be honest: changing decades of patterns doesn’t happen without guilt showing up. When you start setting boundaries, a voice in your head will say, “What kind of mother are you?”

That voice is lying. It’s the outdated programming trying to keep you small.

The truth is, a good mother in this season isn’t the one who does everything – it’s the one who teaches strength. A good mother shows her daughters how to honor themselves so they don’t spend their own 60 depleted and wondering. A good mother teaches her sons that women aren’t here to serve them but to walk alongside them as equals.

Reclaiming Your Life

This shift gives you something precious: your life back.

You get to pursue interests you set aside decades ago. You get to say yes to opportunities without first checking everyone else’s schedules. You get to prioritize your health, your friendships, your marriage (if it has survived), your peace.

You get to model something your children may have never seen: a woman who knows her worth isn’t tied to how much she does for others.

The Unexpected Gift

Here’s what surprised me most about this transition: my relationship with my children got better, not worse.

When I stopped managing their lives, we started having actual conversations. When I stopped doing everything, they started showing up more fully. When I modeled boundaries, they learned to respect them – and to set their own.

They don’t need another martyr. They need a mentor. A wise woman who’s done the work and can light the path without walking it for them.

Your Next Chapter Awaits

You spent decades giving. Decades sacrificing. Decades putting everyone else first.

You did that work beautifully. You raised capable humans. Now it’s time to step into your next role – not as someone who does everything, but as someone who shows others how to do it themselves.

This is your season to be wise, not weary. Grounded, not guilty. Free, not frantic.

Step into your next chapter – as a wise, grounded woman who finally understands that the best thing she can teach her children is how to honor themselves.

Because you already taught them how to be loved. Now show them how to be strong.

For more help on shifting from martyr to mentor while clarifying boundaries with adult children, check out my Marriage and Motherhood Survival Method.

Let’s Discuss What May Be a Hard Question:

What’s ONE thing you’ve been doing for your adult children that you know they could (and should) be doing for themselves? And next. What scares you most about stopping?

I’m a sucker for a good comeback story.

Although I’m not a fan of the Patriots, their 31-point rally against the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl LI was epic. And I cheer hard for Martha Stewart who managed to not only resurrect, but balloon, her domestic goddess reputation AFTER her release from prison.

Make 2026 the year you celebrate a good comeback story by booking a “Salvaged Stay.”

What’s a Salvaged Stay?

Hotels.com identified “Salvaged Stays” as one of its top travel trends for 2026. These are hotel properties in buildings that once had former lives as libraries, monasteries, banks and more. I’ve stayed in several in the past including Boston’s The Liberty, a former prison, and Union Station Nashville Yards, a transformed passenger train station.

I find it fascinating to see how today’s architects transform yesterday’s structures into comfortable, amenity-rich lodgings for modern travelers.

Historic Hotels of America’s Adaptive Reuse List

The Historic Hotels of America is the official program of the National Trust for Historic Preservation tasked with promoting member properties that “faithfully maintain their authenticity, sense of place and architectural integrity.”

They annually spotlight member properties on “best of” lists including most historic hotel bars and most haunted historic hotels. Salvaged properties appear on their adaptive reuse list, acknowledging hotels, inns and resorts in “preserved historic buildings that were not originally built to be hotels.”

The Benefits of Adaptive Reuse

The primary benefit of adaptive reuse is saving historic properties and renewing their economic vitality. For example, a former Catholic boarding school opened its doors as a 65-room boutique hotel in 2024, the first new hotel to open in Frederick, Maryland in 50 years.

The Visitation Hotel Frederick preserved much of the existing architecture, including stained glass windows, brickwork and original wood flooring. Operating as a Marriott Tribute property, The Visitation Hotel serves as an important connection to the past for residents and visitors.

What’s to Love About Salvaged Stays

The best part about staying in one of these Salvaged Stays is that they successfully blend the past with the present. Guests get all of the modern conveniences, amenities and accessibility they crave in a setting that’s straight out of an old movie.

During my stay at the Inn at Diamond Cove, a restored military barracks in Maine, I could stare out at the property lawn, then close my eyes and imagine uniformed troops going through their daily drills.

At Le Monastere des Augustines, a monastery turned boutique hotel in Quebec City, I absorbed the spiritual energy of centuries of nuns who lived, worked and prayed in the building. Every inch of stair rail radiates from their touch.

Things to Keep in Mind

The biggest pro of staying in one of these renovated gems is that you’re not booking a cookie-cutter box in a hotel that feels ripped from Any Place, USA. These hotels, inns and resorts have a genuine connection to the destination, forged through years of history.

However, there are things to keep in mind when booking one of these stays, including:

Accessibility May Vary

Think about the challenge of converting a historic post office mailroom into a 21st-century hotel room. There may be oddly placed windows or sloping walls. Showers may be smaller (or larger) than you normally encounter. Embrace the quirks.

But if you have certain needs, be sure to quiz reservation specialists.

Expect Noises

Old wood creaks. Sweeping down a grand mahogany staircase is wildly romantic and noisy. The vaulted barrel ceiling in a train station hotel may amplify the band playing ‘80s hits in the lobby bar to cacophonic levels. Go with it. It’s part of the experience.

Embrace What’s New

Read all the historical signs and check out the old photos. But definitely spend time on the property appreciating what’s new – whether it’s a glorious rooftop pool, chef-driven restaurant or spa.

How to Find Your Next Salvaged Stay

Wondering how to find Salvaged Stays? You can start with the Hotels.com list. Another good source is the Historic Hotels of America’s annual Best of Adaptive Reuse List. Their 2025 roundup includes a former junior high that has “hall pass” key cards and a “Prom Queen” drink special.

Some of the ones I’m putting on my “to go” list include:

• Former movie theater: The Hotel Warner in West Chester, PA
• Former bank: The 21c Museum Hotel in Lexington, KY
• Former ocean liner: The Queen Mary in Long Beach, CA

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have a “salvaged stay” to recommend? What made the experience extra special? If you could spend one night undetected in a famous building, which one would you choose?

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Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Dorit Kemsley’s Brown Knit Maxi Dress

Photo + ID: @kylerichards18

Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Kyle Richard’s Black Lace Confessional Top