Month: December 2025

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Originally posted at: Bozoma Saint John’s Black and Gold Africa Tee

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Originally posted at: Venita Aspen’s Green Sequin Backless Dress

The holidays are upon us and, if you are like my family, we are excited but also overwhelmed with everything that must be done. Don’t get me wrong. I love every minute of it! I love decorating the house, shopping for gifts and then wrapping them, connecting with friends and family, planning and hosting parties and meals, driving around to see the decorated houses, singing along with carols, and on and on. This is my favorite time of the year!

Memories

My sister and I looked forward to Christmas morning and opening presents. There would be a plate full of candy and nuts on the table along with an apple and an orange for each person. (I think that may be a German tradition?) When my grandfather was alive, my sister and I sometimes had a gift from him on the table as well. My parents typically gave each of us one present which was carefully wrapped and placed under the Christmas tree. I remember the year I got a bride doll and, in my teens, a new blouse.

As we raised our sons, some of the same traditions were maintained and others were added. We decorated the house and tree, played and sang carols, entertained friends and family, and hung stockings (instead of a plate for Christmas morning treats).

We baked special goodies – ginger snap, sugar, and snickerdoodle cookies; Cap’n Crunch candy; and Rice Krispies peanut butter balls. I used my mom’s recipes to make date and banana bread, some of which we gave as gifts. Our family set up and lit luminarias along the church sidewalk for Christmas Eve services. So beautiful! We opened gifts Christmas morning and got together with family Christmas Day for a big dinner and sometimes a hike or a jigsaw puzzle.

How About You?

Holiday traditions vary around the world and sometimes depend on a person’s religious orientation. The holiday you celebrate may not be Christmas, but Hannukah or Kwanzaa, or you may not celebrate any at all. Although for many of us it is a much anticipated and happy time of year, it may not be so happy for others. Are you one of the latter?

It is not unusual for the demands on a person’s time, not to mention the wallet, to cause anxiety and even depression. You may be mourning the loss of a friend or family member or are estranged from someone dear to you. Perhaps you are out of work. Even listening to a news broadcast or reading news online can put a damper on a day.

It is easy to get wrapped up in our own world, especially during the holidays. And yet, this is the time of year when many of you reach out through your church, community food bank, rescue center, or other non-profit to share your blessings and give thanks for the bounties of the past 12 months. Some of you maintain your generosity throughout the whole year and that is to be commended. Others give your time and/or your talents to help and support others in need.

Reflection on Gifts

As I look back, I am grateful that I grew up in a household that gave a high priority to giving. We were not wealthy, but comfortable. My parents provided a roof over our head, food on the table, they paid the bills and still had enough to set aside some saving. Even before saving or any other expense, however, my mom and dad gave 10% to church or charities. They called it tithing. I am sure that sometimes it was painful when they had to adjust the budget, but it was never an issue to them. Priorities were priorities.

What Is Truly Important

As the year closes, it is appropriate to take time from the holiday frenzy to reflect on what is truly important. Each person will likely have a different answer. I know COVID made a difference in my priorities. For one, it made me realize that I am guilty of overconsumption, and I still struggle with that. I am thankful, however, that I have enough to support causes I love, travel to see my family and friends when I can and show my love to my family through thoughtful gifts. Memories become increasingly important to me as I age. My favorite gift is time with my family!

Simple Gifts Are Meaningful

I have also come to realize that gifts can be as simple as a smile offered a stranger, a card sent to a friend, a kind word said in passing, a door opened and held for someone, an offer to babysit, a treat shared with a child, a loving pat to a dog or cat, a sidewalk shoveled, or an unexpected hug. There are literally a thousand ways that we can give a gift every single day.

My Gift to the World

I have also taken time to reflect on how I can add value to the world. What unique gift have I been given? How can I make a difference; make life better for someone else? Part of my answer is reflected in my book, How to Dress a Naked Portfolio: A Tailored Introduction to Investing for Women. It is meant to help fill a void in basic financial education and the target audience is women because that is where I see the greatest need. If you are interested, you can read more on my website. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the book supports financial education for women.

What Are Your Gifts to the World?

How do you intend to make a difference? Perhaps you already know the answers to those questions and are on your way to their realization. If not, I encourage you to take time this holiday season to think about it and, if necessary, chart a new course. I guarantee you will not only be happier, but I have a feeling that the world needs what you have to offer. Give yourself – and us – that gift!

Happy Holidays!

Questions for Readers:

What are the unique gifts that you offer the world? How do you use your gifts? Do you and your family have any special giving traditions at this time of year?

If you’re a midlife woman, you know how the holidays go. You slip straight into project-manager mode without even thinking about it. The lists. The coordinating. The shopping. The reminders. The emotional labor no one else even sees. This invisible load during the holidays has been building for decades, and you’ve gotten so good at carrying it that you barely feel the weight anymore.

Until suddenly – you do.

It sneaks up on you. One day you realize you’re exhausted, short-tempered, and running on fumes. Not because you’re weak, but because you’ve spent a lifetime training yourself to push through.

This is Part 2 in the Sixty and Me holiday series. If you missed Part 1, you can find it here: Holiday Food Everywhere?

And if you’ve ever wondered why the stress hits so hard – and what it’s doing to your health – you’re in the right place.

Why So Many Women Hit a Breaking Point This Time of Year

If you’ve ever wondered why the holidays feel heavier now than they used to, you’re not imagining it. Midlife holiday burnout is real. And it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s because you’re doing everything.

There’s the holiday stress for women over 50 that no one talks about: the pressure to hold everyone together, keep traditions alive, and make it all look effortless. You’re juggling work, family, aging parents, adult kids, and a house that somehow needs to stay “holiday ready.”

And then there’s the scope creep holiday season brings. One extra dish. One more event. One more late night. That quiet voice that says, “It’s fine, I’ll handle it,” even when you’re already stretched thin.

It adds up fast. Too fast.

And before you know it, doing too much during the holidays becomes the default – until your body, your mood, or your health finally waves the white flag.

You Don’t Have to Push Through This Alone

I’ve spent almost 20 years coaching midlife women through this exact pattern, and here’s what I know: the holiday overload isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a health issue. When the mental load gets too heavy, it affects everything – sleep, food choices, mood, energy, even how your body stores stress.

If you want to go deeper into this topic, I recorded a full podcast episode on it. You can listen to it here.

And if you want step-by-step support, the Feel Good Holiday Playbook will walk you through how to simplify your season without guilt. Click here to grab your copy of the Feel Good Holiday Playbook.

Simplify and Prioritize: How to Avoid Holiday Burnout

If you want to avoid Midlife holiday burnout, you can’t keep doing the season the way you’ve always done it. Not because you’re older. Not because you’re “less capable.” But because the load has grown while the support has not.

This is where how to simplify the holidays becomes a health strategy, not a luxury. Start by listing everything you think you “have” to do. Then circle the things that truly matter. A tree. A meal. A few people you genuinely want to see. That’s your real holiday.

Everything else? That falls under minimal holiday planning. It’s optional. You get to choose whether it deserves your time, energy, or sanity.

Women at this stage of life often fear that if they do less, the holiday will fall apart. It won’t. What falls apart is you when you keep trying to carry an entire season on your back.

Let the rest go. Your body will thank you for it.

Set Healthy Boundaries This Season

Most midlife women don’t struggle with capability – they struggle with capacity. And that’s why holiday boundaries for women are non-negotiable. Without them, the season turns into a runaway train.

Setting boundaries during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re hard or selfish. It means you’ve finally stopped pretending you can do the work of five people without consequences.

If saying no feels uncomfortable, try language like:

• “I can’t take that on this year.”
• “I’m keeping things simple.”
• “That’s not going to work for me.”

These phrases protect you from automatic yeses – the ones that lead to resentment, exhaustion, and burnout.

When you practice how to say no during the holidays without apologizing, something powerful happens. Your stress drops. Your sleep improves. You stop feeling like you’re sprinting through December.

And you show everyone around you what a grounded, healthy woman looks like in midlife.

Stay Grounded and Nourished – Navigating Emotional Eating at the Holidays

Here’s the truth: emotional eating during the holidays isn’t about a lack of willpower. It’s a response to overload. When stress rises, your brain looks for comfort. And food is the fastest, easiest option.

This is why holiday stress and midlife health are so intertwined. Your nervous system feels the pressure long before you consciously notice it.

A few small practices can help you stay steady:

• Pause before eating and check your body. Are you hungry or overwhelmed?
• Eat full meals on busy days so you’re not grazing out of exhaustion.
• Build in small breaks – even five minutes alone can calm your system enough to reduce holiday overeating triggers.

You don’t have to white-knuckle the season. You just need a plan that honors the reality of your life, your body, and your capacity.

You Can Make This Holiday Season Feel Different

This article is Part 2 in my Sixty and Me holiday series, and there’s more support coming your way. In the next piece, we’ll dig even deeper into how to stay steady when the season speeds up. You don’t have to push through December on grit alone.

If you want more guidance right now, you can listen to the full podcast episode on this topic here: Total Health in Midlife Podcast Holiday Health Series Episode 2: The Invisible Load.

You deserve a holiday that doesn’t drain you. Let’s make this the year you enjoy it. And if you need more help, the Feel Good Holiday Playbook will walk you through the process step by step.

Imagine a Holiday That Actually Feels Good

Picture waking up in January feeling steady, clear, and rested. Your clothes fit. Your energy is stable. You moved through a holiday season without stress, not because everything went perfectly, but because you chose differently.

This is how to enjoy the holidays without burning out – by protecting your capacity, saying no when needed, and letting the extras go.

When you simplify your holidays, you don’t lose anything important. You gain yourself back.

You deserve joy, connection, and ease – not overload. And with a few intentional changes, that version of the season is absolutely possible for you.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you feel pressure to make a perfect holiday? What if the holiday was good enough instead? Where do you put most of your energy in December?

We just celebrated Thanksgiving in America, and I struggled a bit with my thankfulness this year. I won’t go into the details, but sometimes the ebbs and flows of life can take you to a place where the things you know you should be grateful for are suddenly hiding behind a very cranky mood and a pile of unresolved feelings.

Wants vs. Needs

I recently got together with some friends I taught first grade with back in the 1980s. We’ve stayed close all these decades. We reminisced about a lesson we created together about wants versus needs. I was trying to teach my littles – five- and six-year-olds – what human beings truly need: clean air to breathe, food to eat, a safe place to sleep, and, of course, clean water. Even that discussion gave me pause, because some of those children may not have had all the things I assumed they did.

Then those same littles announced that something everyone needs is love. Without love, what’s the point of living? In their own way, these pint-sized philosophers led the entire conversation. Nearly 40 years later, my lifelong friends and I are still talking about that lesson, although not one of us can remember where we put our reading glasses.

I’ve always had my needs met. But the lesson that day wasn’t only about needs. It was also about wants. I asked the kiddos, “What are five things you would want to take to a deserted island if you knew all of your needs were being met?”

My coworkers and I, all in our 20s and 30s at the time, joked about bringing Sven the hunky masseuse, a library filled with every book in the world, a luxurious bathroom, and a gourmet chef with endless kitchen supplies. The children, not yet burdened by video games or the internet, said exactly what you’d expect: games, junk food, their own water parks, and a roller coaster. One child even requested unlimited ice cream, which frankly may have been the wisest answer given.

Let’s Fine-Tune Our Question

Now, in what should be my more contented years, I find myself thinking that the question needs adjusting. Maybe a deserted island feels too hypothetical. Maybe the better question is: What are the five things you would take if you had a fire and could stop time long enough to grab them?

When I look around my house, I realize that many things I once thought were essential really aren’t. Photos are mostly on my phone, backed up somewhere in “the cloud,” which I picture as a celestial junk closet where God is sitting and moving my stuff around without permission. Documents can be replaced. Social security cards, passports, banking information – annoying to lose, but not irreplaceable.

My husband’s artwork fills our home; carvings and paintings of the birds and animals outside our windows. My grandparents’ antiques are meaningful, even the quirky ones. But if flames were licking at the door, would I really be able to choose between the vintage Tupperware and the antique copper bathwater heater? The honest answer is probably not.

Electronics? Forget it. The TV, computer, and phone can be bought again. I mentally walk through room after room and realize the list of things I’d have to save is surprisingly short.

The Perspective of Age

Because here’s where age changes the question. In our 20s, we thought about comfort. In midlife, we thought about convenience. But now? Many of us have lost people we love. We have learned, sometimes the hard way, that the only things we can’t replace are the memories – those small, unexpected reminders of the people who shaped our lives.

• A handwritten recipe from someone who cooked with love.
• A scrap of your child’s artwork with their backward letters.
• A photo album from before everything went digital.
• A wedding picture of two people who had no idea what was coming but were hopeful for it anyway.
• A letter from someone whose voice you’d give anything to hear again.

These aren’t “things.” They’re proof that love happened here.

So, in the end, I would want to grab the people I love, and the memories that tether me to the people I’ve already had to say goodbye to. Everything else – objects, paperwork, technology – can be replaced or lived without.

If a fire ever forced me to choose, I suspect I’d run out barefoot, hair wild, clutching the memories of the people who shaped me – and maybe, if time allowed, one good bra. (It took a lot of time in the dressing room to find that perfect one!)

And maybe that is where my gratitude finally settles this year; not in the lengthy list of things I own, but in the small list of things I truly could not lose.

And really, that’s enough.

You might also enjoy reading The Beanie Baby Debacle: My Brush with Valulosis.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

If you had to grab one memory-filled object in a fire, what would it be? Why that one? What’s something you didn’t appreciate when you were young that now feels priceless (besides a better metabolism)? What’s the tiniest object in your home that carries the biggest emotional weight (and no, the remote does not count)? If you could freeze one memory forever, which one would you choose – and does it involve someone who is no longer here but still taking up space in your heart?