I Wish I Had More Time – I Didn’t
I didn’t expect to begin the year this way.
Like many of us, I entered January with exciting intentions – a little flashy, but with a sense of steadiness and hope. A new calendar. A fresh page. The belief that there would be time to ease into whatever came next.
And then life reminded me, gently but firmly, that it doesn’t always move according to our plans.
Monday, my 93-year-old father passed away.
Just 52 days earlier, we lost Mom – his wife of 71 years.
Our Last Conversation
If you’ve lived long enough, you know that grief doesn’t always arrive alone. Sometimes it comes in waves, before you’ve had a chance to catch your breath from the last one. And sometimes it asks something of you before you feel ready to give it.
In Dad’s final days, I found myself facing a decision I had never rehearsed. I chose to tell him that it was okay to let go. That it was okay to be with Mom. I told him that my sister, my brother, and I would take care of each other.
It was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever begun.
And, unexpectedly, one of the most peaceful.
Dad passed calmly, without struggle, surrounded by love about 24 hours after we let him go. And in that stillness, I felt something settle inside me – a quiet confirmation that trusting my inner knowing had mattered.
Not All Life Transitions Follow a Plan
As we move through midlife and beyond, we often talk about planning: retirement plans, health plans, travel plans, the “someday” list. There’s comfort in structure. In feeling prepared.
But life transitions – especially the tender ones – rarely follow a script.
There are moments when logic steps aside and something deeper takes over. A calm voice inside that says, this is the moment. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s right.
Have you ever been asked to make a decision before you felt ready?
Have you ever acted from instinct rather than certainty – and felt peace afterward?
These are the moments that define us, not because we handled them perfectly, but because we showed up honestly.
The Right Moment
Loss has a way of sharpening our awareness. It reminds us that time is precious, but not always plentiful. That waiting for the “right moment” can sometimes mean missing the moment we’re actually in.
And this isn’t just true of grief.
Life transitions come in many forms: the end of a chapter we loved or the beginning of one we didn’t expect. Each transition asks us to listen more closely – to ourselves, to our bodies, to the quiet wisdom we’ve earned through experience.
What transition are you standing in right now?
What decision have you been postponing, hoping clarity will come with more time?
We Gain Perspective with Age
One of the gifts of aging is perspective. We’ve lived enough life to know that courage doesn’t always look bold. Sometimes it looks like a soft but steady choice made with love.
I didn’t have more time with my dad. But I had enough clarity to speak from my heart. And that made all the difference.
If you’re facing a moment that feels uncertain or tender, I hope you’ll trust yourself. Not the noise of expectations. Not the pressure of timelines. Just the quiet knowing that comes from a life fully lived.
Because even when life doesn’t follow the plan, it can still meet us with grace.
And so can we.
Reflective Questions for You:
Where in your life are you being asked to trust your inner voice? What transition are you moving through right now? If time weren’t a factor, what decision would you make today?
There are no right answers – only honest ones. And sometimes, that’s enough.
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