Tamra Judge’s Leopard Fur Bomber Jacket on Instastories

Real Housewives of Orange County Instagram Fashion

Tamra Judge and her leopard fur bomber jacket on Instastories are headed to Bravocon in style with the rest of the universe for what is sure to be an epic weekend! And while we at Big Blonde Hair somehow couldn’t score media passes to cover fashion there —not that I’m as bitter about it as a Housewife put on pause ;-p—we will persist and continue to stalk their style from afar! If we can function fashionably during our major bout of FOMO, that is. Maybe a lovely leopard jacket will help ease the pain …

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to Shop her Lovers + Friends Jacket on Sale

Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Leopard Fur Bomber Jacket

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It’s been a long time since we got a new Glossier lip balm. The cult-fave Balm Dotcom already comes in 10 “flavors,” like Birthday, Mint and Mango. But the weather is getting cool and fans have been asking for a new hydrating lip balm and Glossier answered. The limited-edition Swiss Miss Balm Dotcom is here and if you’re wondering, Swiss Miss? Like, the packets of hot chocolate with the teeny tiny marshmallows? Yup. Exactly like that.

Each of the Balm Dotcom shades-slash-flavors has a subtle tint and this one is the perfect ’90s-style chestnut-brown. (Well, some are clear, too.) The scent is a light hint of cocoa and vanilla. The hydrating formula contains castor seed oil, beeswax, lanolin, cupuacu fruit extract and rice bran and rosemary leaf extract. Not only does it hydrate and lock in moisture, but it also contains omega-6 and omega-9 fatty acids, as well as antioxidants to combat free-radical skin damage.

Glossier.

We’re all about treating ourselves here so grab a tube for you first but peep Glossier’s gift sets, too. They have an incredible value and make great presents for everyone in your life. And we’re sorry to tell you, the gift-giving season is right around the corner. We’re big fans of Olivia (Rodrigo’s) Favorites ($48 at Glossier), which have a Boy Brow grooming pomade, Ultralip hydrating shine + color and Pro Tip brush point liquid eyeliner in the colors of your choice.

Glossier.

There’s also the Balm Dotcom Trio ($30 at Glossier), where you can choose three shades — including the new one — and save $6. Keep one in every bag and sweatshirt pocket. Speaking of sweatshirts, match with Timothée Chalamet and Kacey Musgraves and grab an often-sold-out Original Pink Hoodie ($55 at Glossier), the newer Embroidered Lavender Hoodie ($60 at Glossier) or the vintage-inspired Glossier Sweatshirt ($40 at Glosser). You truly can’t go wrong.

Lisa Barlow’s Black and White Printed Pajamas in Scottsdale

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 3 Episode 3 Fashion

I think it’s safe to say that Lisa Barlow’s black and white printed pajamas did not fit the theme of the “Garbage Trash Whore” lingerie party on last night’s episode of RHOSLC (lol). However she still felt sexy in them and they gave us something from the scene to report on, so that’s really all that matters.  

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her Olivia von Halle Pajamas

Originally posted at: Lisa Barlow’s Black and White Printed Pajamas

Facebook accounts have been hacked. Facebook has been used to target elections. Facebook advertisers have your data. According to Omnicore stats, 62% of online seniors aged 65+ are on Facebook.

Are you still a Facebook/media user? Or have you joined the ranks of those who don’t trust social media and are choosing to make friends elsewhere?

There is a danger in using this medium, but, as with any tool, how you use it determines how safe you are. Knowledge is key!

Let’s look at the risks and benefits of using social media for 60-plussers who want to age dynamically and hold on to their marbles as long as possible.

The Benefits

Provide a Community

Social media offer a community you can tap into when you live alone and don’t get out much. Thanks to social media, you can communicate with people across the globe. You can even have late-night conversations when you can’t sleep with people who live in different time zones.

Anti-Depressant Qualities

Social media can work as an anti-depressant, each click giving you a tiny shot of dopamine, a pleasure hormone, in your brain. People get glued to their screens because social media provides an ongoing dopamine ‘drip’.

Keep Family Close

Social media are a boon for increased family contact. You can easily let loved ones know what you’re up to and you can follow them. I am now connected with my family overseas, when years ago I had no idea what was going on in their daily lives, and neither did they about me.

We have a yearly face-to-face visit when we can deepen our relationship without having to catch up on the details, because we already know the details we have shared.

Open Window to the World

Social media give a window on the world at your fingertips. Even though you may be in a media echo-chamber because of your interests, you at least get to know more about that echo-chamber.

Via social media, you can step into other worlds without having to join them. Keeping up with the times builds new brain cells. Some products advertised have proven to be handy gadgets to ease my life.

A Marketing Tool

Social Media can give you a link to market your small business, the book you wrote or let you share the organization you feel passionate about, with the world.

The Modern Newsstand

Increasingly, Facebook, Twitter and other social media, are the way you will stay connected with what’s going on in your community. True, you can still read a local paper, but news doesn’t spread nearly as fast that way and will be slower to reach you.

Posters have taken the road of town criers, quaint symbols becoming a thing of the past. People now post events on Facebook. Your hiking club, your church, your hospital and doctor communicate through Facebook.

Disaster planning meetings, updates on what’s going on with fires, floods and tornadoes… it all goes through Facebook. The ease and speed with which social media distribute information is seductively easy and, at times, life-saving.

The Risks

But what about the addiction, you say? What about these people glued to their little screen while riding a bus, walking a mall, having dinner together at a restaurant?

Yes, the immediate feedback Facebook provides is addictive. It does offer a dopamine ‘drip’ for people starved for attention, people disconnected from their passions and their creativity.

Using a little awareness, you don’t have to become addicted. You can learn to protect yourself from unwanted intrusions in your on-line life. You can decrease risk and safeguard yourself from becoming a media addict.

Restrict Access to Your Account Information

Check your Facebook and other media settings: you can limit access to your Facebook account by restricting access to your information, sharing with advertisers and responding to posts. Responding to another person’s post puts your name in another pool of ‘friends’ or makes it publicly available.

Opt for Closed/Private Groups

Join closed groups to exchange information. The information exchanged in a closed group stays in the group. You will still see ads popping up, but these are based on the group’s activities.

Keep Private Pictures… Private!

Do not show pictures you want to keep private. Others can easily steal pictures and use them for purposes they were never intended to serve. Once posted, pictures stay ‘out there’ and Facebook owns them.

I joined Facebook to keep up with my children and grandchildren. My children have since severely restricted postings to avoid unwanted interest from outsiders for their children and to minimize their children’s online presence until they are old enough to make their own decisions about what they want to share with the world.

I wholeheartedly support this decision for my grandchildren’s privacy. I now get photos and videos via text or email.

Limit Your Social Media Time

To avoid getting lost in media stimulation, limit your interaction with your personal Facebook account. Set your phone on silent to avoid letting ‘dings’ and ‘rings’ distract you from conversations or activities.

Choose a time of day (or multiple times) to update, check in or see what’s floating through your timeline.

If you run a small business and have a Facebook page or group, you can interact as often as you want to keep your business up and running. Treat it as business and don’t become enslaved to each posting. Set secretarial hours for your business.

Enjoy Life Outside of Virtual Reality

To avoid addiction to media, HAVE A LIFE! See real people, join live groups and do activities with them; visit your family in the flesh. Fill your time with creative endeavors, with hobbies that give you fulfillment.

If your creative activities involve work on a computer, turn on the ‘do not disturb’ tab under notifications, or choose a set time for the ‘do not disturb’ button.

I have made online friends, who have become travel partners. Through my Facebook page and group, Walkingwomen50plus, I receive hiking invitations in New Zealand, Ladakh and China. Adventures await me, and I don’t have to go alone.

Enjoy the freedom to explore the world that online media connectedness can give you as you age. Allow the online connectedness to bring new friends into your life – friends you can meet in real time and in a real place.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What experience do you have with Facebook and other social media? Is it more positive or negative? Let’s hear how Social media have changed your life! 

Estrangement describes the condition where a person experiences physical and/or emotional distance from one or more family members. If you’ve been estranged, someone decided that leaving the relationship was a necessary act of self-preservation.

Perhaps you have cut ties with a family member because being in their presence was harmful for you. The many estrangement stories are as individual as the people who tell them. The common theme is the mental health impact family rifts cause. This article explores the long and short-term psychological effects of cutting family ties.

The Emotional Toll Is Unbearable

Estranged family members, parents of adult children, adult children, siblings, grandparents, aunts, and uncles bear the weight of dismantled families.

The emotional toll can include depression, anxiety, hopelessness, ruminating thoughts, chronic stress, and feelings of grief, and loss. Persistent grief or complicated grief describes the state of extended grieving that impairs normal functioning. Many describe these strong feelings and states as unbearable.

As a therapist, I hear the cries of family members who are missing the connection they once enjoyed. They think about what went wrong, they struggle with grief and a lot of anger. We work together to make sense of what has happened to them and pick up the pieces one tear at a time.

The word unbearable describes intolerable, insufferable, and unsupportable pain. Estrangement is all these states that tear at the very fabric of the human need to be in close connection with our family of origin.

For individuals who choose to estrange, the breaking of ties can come with a sense of relief. However, research suggests that although cutting ties was to self-preserve, the loss of family support leaves a gap in one’s emotional need for family belonging.

Short-Term Psychological Effects of Estrangement

At first, estrangement causes feelings of grief and loss. The estrangement condition often begins with signs of grief, including, shock, anger, denial, guilt, bargaining, and acceptance. The stages are not linear but usually one begins to find some relief from the bolt of being cut off around six months.

Shock

We feel shocked and want or need to avoid the feelings associated with the person and the cut-off.

Denial

Feelings of denial include avoidance, procrastination, forgetfulness, confusion, numbness, distractibility, and excessive busyness. Denial is a coping mechanism used to avoid the pain of the cut-off.

Anger

Irritability, resentment, frustration, rage, embarrassment, emotional dysregulation, and negative outlook are versions of feeling angry. When we cope with anger, we are expressing a reaction to the extreme hurt we are struggling to make sense of and understand.

Bargaining

When we process the grief of being estranged, we cope by overthinking and perhaps feeling shame. We may be stuck in a loop of self-incriminating thoughts and land in heaps of guilt. We can take on a posture of blame while comparing ourselves to others.

Insecurity, fear, and anxiety can be overwhelming, so many cope with ruminating thoughts of “If only I did this…” or “I should have done that.”

Depression

The short-term effect of estrangement commonly presents with feelings of sadness, despair, helplessness, hopelessness, and overwhelm. The experience of depression can present as isolation, crying, sleeping too much or not enough, lack of motivation, low energy, and increased drug and alcohol use.

Anxiety is a common companion of depression with worry of the future relationship and uncertainty of the outcome. The ambiguous nature of family rifts naturally creates uneasiness and fear. The mental distress involves feeling ill equipped to cope with the magnitude of the threat of the damaged relationship.

Acceptance

Hopefully, the bombardment of flooding negative emotions diminishes, and we find ourselves wanting to live again. As part of a continued attempt to make sense or process the cut-off, and despite the loss of our loved one, we choose instead to succumb. Perhaps one day we wake up and decide it is time to paint again. We begin paining a scene where we move forward without our loved one.

We find self-compassion, practice mindfulness, create new relationships, we seek our dreams. We laugh again. Within us springs up the courage to trust again.  

It is normal to experience the strong emotions of grief when we lose someone to estrangement. Feelings can come in waves and surprise you. You may feel like you have made great strides and then a movie stirs up something. You may cry again or feel angry. But you have learned to notice this familiar companion as a temporary visitor and bid it goodbye and continue to move forward.

Long-Term Psychological Effects of Estrangement

The dissolving of a family can cause chronic stress, feelings of rejection, and ambiguous loss. The uncertainty of what will happen in the future complicates the condition. If unresolved grief lingers and is left untreated, forward movement is stalled. Persistent grief or complex grief is when the loss process is extended, and suffering is prolonged.

Perhaps ruminating thoughts of conditions outside of one’s control hinder our forward movement. Chronic stress is the result of strong emotional upheaval that impacts one’s physical health. Prolonged overwhelm can cause body aches, confusion, social isolation, and insomnia.

Estrangement can be traumatizing. We can be stunned with the emotional rejection and be stuck in overwhelming feelings. Trauma describes the emotional distress we feel when we are unable to cope. We may cope with unhealthy means such as substance use, overworking, avoidance, and retracting from social engagements.

What to Do If You Need Support

If you’ve been struggling with short-term or long-term effects of estrangement, getting support is a healthy move forward. Humans have biases and blindsides. When we seek out professional help, we are giving ourselves a huge gift of self-care.

Therapists are trained to come alongside their clients in a non-judgmental supportive manner. A skilled professional will gently guide you to gain insight, so you process and find joy again.

How To Move Forward

Find support and stay connected to friends and those who love and value you. Treat yourself as a dear friend and be generous with self-compassion.

Recommit to those activities you enjoy. Practice self-care that includes honoring your mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Be active by walking or exercising regularly.

Mental health is how we cope with adversity and challenges. We can find the courage to move forward one small step each day. It is normal to be upset and overwhelmed over the loss of a close family relationship. The great gift we give ourselves is to honor where we are and remind ourselves to do the best we can every day.

Estrangement is possibly one of the most challenging conditions. The short-term and long-term effects can be devastating and widespread.

Twenty-seven percent of the United States population report being cut off from a family member. Researchers believe the actual number is much higher since individuals are reluctant to share that their family is not intact.

Processing emotions is hard work. You have been courageous before, resurrect that same courage. Healing can hurt, the results may not be what you wanted, but you will survive it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What have you done to move forward in your estrangement? What has helped you get unstuck from your estrangement? Please share how therapy has helped you to move forward.