Author: Admin01

When any big life event comes round, Christmas, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries, it is easy to remember what we were doing on the same day last year, or many years ago.

Magical childhoods waiting for Santa to arrive, Easter egg hunting, unwrapping birthday presents, forever weddings. Of course, many of them are enhanced by the gift of young memories, perhaps a little exaggerated or wishful… but they are still our memories, and imaginings of times gone by.

Whatever plans we may make, sometimes life has plans of its own. Loving, close-knit relationships fall apart, people move, others change. We change. Life is always evolving and people – and relationships – change with it.

So, it is no surprise that relationships sometimes break down, and while some move on naturally, others cause a huge hole in our hearts and are difficult to recover from. Lost loves, estrangements from children, close friends who no longer communicate, siblings, who were once the most important people in our lives, feel so far away.

While, for many of us, Christmas is a time for happiness and merriment, for others it is a time of reflection and sadness.

Offering an Olive Branch

The holiday season is a great time to reach out to people that may be distant in your life. Perhaps a few words said in haste, a misunderstanding, a silly disagreement. Maybe you just lost touch and don’t know how to reconnect.

Offering an olive branch… extending a gesture of goodwill or harmony, is not a new thing. In fact, this symbol has roots in both Greek and Roman tradition, as olive trees were recognised as a sign of peace and prosperity.

How to Send Your Olive Branch

Today we are most likely to offer an olive branch in an email or telephone call, but there are many other ways. At this time of year, a Christmas card is always a good starting point. At Easter it could be an Easter card, or even an Easter egg, seen as a new beginning.

Perhaps you could send a real olive branch or even a tree, something tangible and memorable. The tree could be planted, and its growth could be symbolic of your renewed relationship. Of course, you could always deliver your olive branch through a hug, but consider how your recipient might receive it before you go. Sometimes, especially if the relationship has been deeply affected, a little distance might work best, at least initially.

Sending Yourself an Olive Branch

Sadly, sometimes relationships may be beyond repair. You may have tried to reconcile before and been rebuffed. The relationship may have been a toxic one, and caused you so much pain and turmoil, that reconciliation is not in your best interest.

Maybe then it is time to send yourself an olive branch. Be gentle with yourself, give your heart a chance to heal and time for peace to come back into your life. You may choose to leave the door a little open, or decide to close it forever.

Acceptance

In your heart you know how hard you tried. It may have been a painful experience, but perhaps this Christmas is a time for acceptance. Life is not over because one part is not how you would wish it to be.

Bring some harmony back into your life. Forgive those who have hurt you but also forgive yourself. Nothing in life is perfect, no relationship is without its difficulties, there is no one-size-fits-all.

Remember, next year you will remember this one. Give yourself the gift of peace this Christmas and have yourself a Merry Little Christmas. 

Join the Conversation:

Have you offered an olive branch before? What did it take? Did it change your relationship?

If you’re wondering why your health habits fall apart every December, it’s not because you’re lazy or undisciplined. It’s because this season piles more on your shoulders than any other time of year. The invisible load gets heavier. The expectations get louder. And suddenly the health habits you’ve worked so hard to build slip through your fingers.

This is Part 3 in a 4-part series for Sixty & Me about staying steady through the holidays. If you missed the previous installments, find them here:

Part 1: Holiday Food Everywhere?

Part 2: The Invisible Load You Don’t Even Notice Until It’s Too Late

Here’s the truth most women in midlife never hear: nothing is wrong with you. Holiday health habits don’t collapse because you don’t care. They collapse because you’re juggling a full life, and perfection is the first thing to crack.

And if you’ve been taught that your only options are do it all or do nothing, of course December feels impossible. But what if you didn’t need perfection? What if a half-assed version of your health habits was more than enough to keep you grounded, even when life is chaotic?

That’s what we’re going to explore here – how to stay consistent without being perfect, especially when midlife holiday stress is pulling you in every direction.

Why Women in Midlife Lose Momentum This Time of Year

If it feels like your healthy habits disappear the minute the holiday season begins, you’re not imagining it. Women in midlife carry an invisible load that doubles this time of year. You’re managing family dynamics. Coordinating travel. Remembering everyone’s preferences, allergies, gifts, and emotional triggers. You’re trying to keep the peace, keep the house moving, and keep yourself from collapsing at 3 p.m.

This isn’t about discipline. It’s about capacity. When you’re already stretched thin, even the simplest routines feel impossible. Add hormonal shifts, poor sleep, and stress, and your bandwidth shrinks fast. That’s when “all or nothing thinking” kicks in. If you can’t do the workout, prep the meal, or get the perfect bedtime, you convince yourself it’s not worth doing at all. And that’s when everything unravels.

If this sounds familiar, I go deeper into this in my Holiday Health Bare Minimums podcast episode here, where I break down why “holiday overwhelm” hits women in midlife so much harder.

You’re not failing. You’re overloaded. And that’s exactly why healthy habits for women 50+ need to look different in seasons like this – simpler, softer, and actually doable.

The Concept of Bare Minimums – And Why They Work

Most women think the only way to stay healthy during the holidays is to be “on it” all the time. Perfect meals. Perfect workouts. Perfect discipline. But that mindset is exactly what causes everything to fall apart. When life gets chaotic, perfection is the first thing that goes. What actually keeps you steady is something much smaller: your bare minimums.

Bare minimums are the simple healthy habits that act like anchors. They don’t move you forward dramatically, but they keep you from drifting so far off course that January feels like starting over from scratch. They are not rigid rules. They are not another diet. They are not shame-driven. They are supportive, realistic self-care in midlife n chosen by you, for you.

My own bare minimums are boring on purpose. I drink a glass of water before each cup of coffee or wine. I protect my bedtime no matter what. And I eat a predictable lunch every day, because decision fatigue is real. These habits are tiny, but they keep me grounded when everything else is loud and demanding.

This is the secret behind any sustainable holiday health plan: consistency beats intensity, especially in midlife. A small habit done daily will always stabilize you more than a perfect plan you abandon after three days.

If you want help choosing your own bare minimums, the Feel-Good Holiday Playbook walks you through this step-by-step so you can stay steady without overhauling your life.

How to Choose Your Own Bare Minimums

When you’re overwhelmed, the last thing you need is another complicated plan. Your bare minimums should feel so simple and so doable that even on your busiest, most chaotic day, you can still follow through. Here’s a quick way to choose them.

First, ask yourself: What helps my energy? What lowers my stress? What makes my day feel a little more predictable? Your bare minimums should support one or more of those things. And each habit should take less than five minutes. The goal isn’t to create a perfect “holiday health routine.” The goal is to build a tiny rhythm you can return to, no matter what’s happening around you.

Some examples that work well for women in midlife:

• A 10-minute walk when you feel your shoulders creeping up to your ears.
• Water between caffeine so you don’t crash at 2 p.m.
• One vegetable on your plate at dinner, even if the rest of the meal is messy.
• A clear bedtime boundary so you’re not scrolling at midnight.
• Three deep breaths before you walk into the house after a long day.

These habits seem small, but they create consistency with habits when everything else feels unpredictable. And here’s the real magic: they keep your momentum going – just at a lower intensity. You don’t come to a full stop. So, when January arrives, you’re not clawing your way out of a hole – you’re already in motion.

Why Bare Minimums Matter for January

Most women think January feels awful because of what they ate in December. But the real reason is much simpler: they came to a full stop. When every habit disappears for weeks at a time, getting started again feels impossible. Your body feels heavy. Your mood dips. Cravings spike. And your confidence takes a hit because you’re starting from zero.

Bare minimums prevent holiday burnout because they keep you moving, even at your lowest speed. A little momentum protects your energy, your sleep, and your stress levels. It also keeps your brain in the rhythm of taking care of yourself. These tiny habits become healthy habits that stick because they’re realistic, not rigid.

And lowering the bar isn’t giving up. It’s wisdom. It’s maturity. It’s understanding that your capacity changes during the holidays, and your habits should adjust with you.

Making This Season Feel Different

Imagine a holiday season where you aren’t running on fumes or scrambling to “fix” yourself in January. A season with fewer meltdowns, less guilt, and more moments where you actually feel present in your own life. That version of the holidays is possible – not by tightening up or trying harder, but by supporting yourself in small, steady ways that make everything feel lighter.

This isn’t about control. It’s about relief. It’s about holiday stress relief that comes from choosing what’s realistic, not punishing. And it’s about midlife women’s wellness that honors what you actually need right now – energy, rest, clarity, and room to breathe.

If you want more support with this idea, listen to the companion podcast episode about Holiday Bare Minimums here. I walk through these concepts with even more nuance so you can start applying them immediately.

And if you want someone to guide you through this step-by-step, the Feel-Good Holiday Playbook will help you design a plan that works in real life – not just on paper.

You don’t have to collapse into January. You can stay connected to yourself in small, powerful ways – and those tiny shifts can change everything about how this season feels.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which bare minimum habits would be just enough to get you through the Holidays so you won’t have to start from scratch re-building your healthy habits in the New Year?

10 Holiday Gifts Inspired by Bravolebs

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1. Embellished Passport Books Gifted by Bronwyn Newport 2. XL Volupspa Crushed Candy Cane Candle Gifted to Kyle Richards from Kathy Hilton 3. Shark LED Light Therapy Mask Used by Amanda Batula, Kyle Richards + BBH Editor Lauren 4. Alo Sweatsuit Seen on Kiki Barth + BBH Editor Lauren 5. Zara Argyle Sweater Seen on Tracy Tutor 6. La Jolie Muse Candle Owned by Kyle Richards 7. La Petite Plume Leopard Graphic Pajamas Seen on Heather Gay 8. Amazon Travel Makeup Bag Used by Madison LeCroy 9. Peter Thomas Roth Retinol Eye Patches Used by Kathy Hilton + Erika Girardi 10. Melinda Maria Spiked Pavé Earrings Seen on Kyle Richards in Gold

Originally posted at: 10 Holiday Gifts Inspired by Bravolebs

Do you love the holidays like I do? Or do you feel more like Scrooge (like my husband pretends to be)? If you’re not in the “Bah humbug” mood, what is it that brings you joy about this season? Lights, music, food, festivities, gifts, baking, gatherings, decorations, smells, traveling, the weather, church or school activities, wrapping, shopping, Christmas cards, more family and/or friend time?

Regardless of our beliefs, family situations, or preferences, holidays tend to bring family to the forefront of our mind. Maybe it’s time we finally decide to leave our family in comfort, not confusion.

Comfort or Confusion?

What do I mean by that? No matter what our age, there’s a way to take care of our family even after we are gone. Holidays and life in general tend to blur together, faster and faster. Suddenly we, and those around us, are aging, and we begin losing loved ones. The next thing you know, I am meeting regularly with widower and widow clients as they move forward after losing a spouse.

Unpleasant Thoughts

When I started helping families with their financial lives over 20 years ago, a common lament by clients (related to IRA distributions) was “how did I get to be 70 ½ already!?!” Aging is part of life, a part that we don’t usually like to think about since it means there will also be an end. And maybe even some incapacity along the way to the end of life. More unpleasant thoughts.

2026 Will Be the Year

But ignoring and doing nothing to prepare for those times, will not make the reality of aging go away. Maybe during this season of giving and spending time with family, we proactively decide to get financially organized in the new year as our best, last gift to our family… whenever that may be. Tell yourself that 2026 is going to be the year you take the bull by the horns and do it.

Your Financial House in Order

So what does it mean to get your financial house in order, to benefit you now and your family later? At a minimum, you need to answer three important questions:

1. What do I have (assets)?
2. Have I told those assets where to go?
3. Are my wishes in writing?

Let’s tackle each one briefly.

What Do I Have?

The document that answers the first question is technically called a Net Worth statement. I designed a fill in the blank summary that is user friendly (a fillable pdf in understandable categories) that shows you immediately what you have and where it is along with the important details that most personal financial statements like this leave out (i.e., the account title and beneficiary).

It will become the Master List of what there is to help you if you are incapacitated AND what there is to be distributed by your executor or Successor Trustee after you are gone.

Where to Go?

I wrote a separate blog on “telling your assets where to go.” In a nutshell, it’s all about titling your accounts correctly and also adding appropriate beneficiary designations. Did you know you can name a beneficiary on your non-IRA accounts at the bank, your home, and your non-IRA investment accounts?

Wishes in Writing

Lastly, what wishes in writing am I talking about? Who do you want to talk to your doctor to make medical decisions (health care power of attorney)? Who do you authorize to act for you at the bank or on your financial matters (Durable power of attorney aka financial POA)? How do you want your remains handled, cremation or burial (final disposition document)? Who gets your accounts and other titled assets (will, trust, beneficiary designations and account titles)? Who gets your stuff aka non-titled personal items (personal property disposition list, you can handwrite, sign and date this without an attorney)?

Newsletter Tools

The tools that I share in my monthly newsletter can help tremendously with financial organization. Let the holidays remind you how much you value family and friends. Enough to commit to taking action in the new year. Let’s end this year with the mindset that 2026 will be the year of loving our families even after we are gone by preparing in advance to leave them in comfort, not confusion!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you experienced comfort or confusion regarding someone’s wishes after they passed? What would have helped you in those situations? What have you done to prevent confusion if you are incapacitated or after you are gone? Let’s share our stories to help each other!

Women over 50 know something younger generations don’t: You can survive almost anything except the exhaustion you never name.

For many of us, that exhaustion doesn’t arrive all at once. It sneaks in slowly. It shows up as irritability we can’t explain, heaviness we can’t shake, guilt we can’t rationalize, or a vague sense that we’ve somehow gotten life “wrong.” Most women don’t realize they’ve crossed the line between ordinary tiredness and something deeper – emotional depletion.

You just feel off.

Too tender.

Too reactive.

Too regretful.

Too overwhelmed.

And because society trained us to absorb everyone else’s needs, moods, and crises, the story we automatically tell ourselves is:

“I must have done everything wrong.”

But that story is both cruel and false.

This Exhaustion Has a Name

What you’re feeling isn’t failure.

It’s compassion fatigue – the exhaustion that comes from caring deeply for too long, without rest, without refill, and often without acknowledgment.

After decades of caregiving – raising children, managing a household, supporting partners, navigating aging parents, absorbing conflict, soothing fears, tending to emotional fires big and small – your nervous system becomes worn down. You have been the family’s emotional thermostat for years. You constantly adjusted yourself to keep everyone else comfortable.

That Role Comes with a Quiet Price

Many women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond report:

• A sense of emotional heaviness they can’t explain.
• Difficulty separating their children’s choices from their own worth.
• Shame over mistakes made in survival seasons.
• Grief they’ve never named.
• Loneliness, even when surrounded by people.

This is not failure.

This is the predictable consequence of a lifetime spent prioritizing everyone else’s well-being over your own.

You were never designed to carry that level of responsibility without refilling. You are not fragile – you are depleted. And if you feel drained, it means you’re human, not defective.

Here’s the good news:

Midlife is not just a reckoning. It’s also the perfect time to finally heal.

You Have Permission to Pay Attention to Yourself

This season offers a natural turning point – a shift from being the center of your children’s world to becoming the center of your own. And while it can feel unfamiliar, even disorienting, it can also be profoundly liberating.

You finally have permission to listen inward. To take yourself seriously. To honor your limits instead of ignoring them. To ask questions like:

• What do I want now?
• Who am I when I’m not needed?
• What parts of me did I bury to keep everything running?

This chapter invites you to reclaim pieces of yourself you haven’t touched in decades. And it all begins with four quiet, powerful shifts:

1. Rest without Guilt

Not performative rest. Not “I’ll lie down after I finish everything else” rest.

Real rest. Body-deep rest. Soul-level rest.

You’ve earned it a hundred times over.

2. Release the Old Mother Role of Savior/Fixer

Your grown children don’t need a rescuer – they need a steady, peaceful you.

Let their problems be their problems. Let their growth be their teacher.

3. Reclaim Time, Energy, and Dreams Buried Under Caregiving

Your passions didn’t disappear; they simply waited their turn. Now is that turn.

4. Rewrite Your Identity Around Who You Are, Not Who You Serve

There is a woman inside you who existed before the world told her to be everything for everyone. She’s still there. And she is ready to come home.

None of this is collapse. None of this is failure. This is rebirth.

Your exhaustion is not a sign of weakness but of longevity, devotion, endurance. You have cared deeply for decades. Now life is inviting you – gently, kindly – back to yourself.

You are not a failure. You are a woman who finally has permission to exhale.

Your next chapter begins the moment you stop blaming yourself for being tired. You’ve carried everyone else long enough. Now it’s your turn.

Join us at www.realmomlife.com to re-engage with your life and rebuild one filled with purpose, passion, and pizzazz!

Let’s Discuss:

Are you suffering from compassion fatigue? Can you make the connection between your exhaustion and years of neglecting your own needs?