Rejection at this ripe time in our lives can really stink. There’s no way around it. As we learn to move on after divorce, even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about, and spent our lives with as a partner, suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore.

“Why don’t they love me anymore?”

“What did I do wrong?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“What could I have done differently?”

It breaks my heart when so many strong, beautiful, amazing women over the age of 50 struggle with overcoming rejection.

These thoughts – the “shoulda coulda woulda” thoughts that hijack our brains and healing – have a nasty way of creeping up on us as we try to regain our confidence and self-esteem.

Many times we think that we are to blame for the fact that our decades-long marriage ended. That self-blame usually leads us to feel rejected, like we are not worthy of love as we start this new chapter in our lives.

It’s time we start looking at rejection in a different way – one that will empower us. We have to stop looking at it as a stupid feeling that continues to hold us down, makes us question ourselves and robs us of our self-worth.

So, the next time you are feeling upset because of a recent rejection over the age of 50 – whether it is due to the end of your long marriage, or because the person you were dating and liked decided not to return your calls, or if you do not get hired for the job you were hoping for, remember the following.

Here’s why, when it comes to love after 50, rejection may be a blessing in disguise.

Rejection Is Like a Trippy Fun-House Mirror

Rejection is not a reflection of you or your self-worth. It’s a distorted view you might get when looking at a fun-house mirror.

You know the kind of mirror I’m talking about – whenever you go to a carnival or visit a beach boardwalk – you may pass a long mirror that you may stop in front of.

What do you see there? Do you see your smiling reflection looking back? The one that reflects the wise and strong person you are?

Nope – you see a warped vision of yourself, with a stretched-out head or shortened legs, and you look silly. It’s not you. And it’s not a reflection of you. You know this, so you probably just laugh and continue enjoying yourself.

Rejection is the same thing. The fact that somebody doesn’t want to be with you anymore has nothing to do with you – it has everything to do with the craziness the rejecter is projecting on to you.

Their rejection is that stupid fun-house mirror. And your reaction to that rejection – the one where you wonder what you did wrong, or why they don’t love you anymore – is nothing more than the stretched head and widened body you see in the silly mirror.

It’s not you. It’s not your reflection. So instead of just standing in front of the mirror, worrying how it makes you look, go ahead and step away from it, because it has nothing to do with you.

Instead of staying in the prison of rejection, thinking that it defines who you are, you move away from it, focus on what makes you feel good, what you are proud of in this life and everything that you have accomplished.

Once you focus on yourself, there’s something very important you need to understand. It’s a secret about rejection that many don’t know about and only few know how to integrate.

Rejection Is a Gift Because You Are Dodging a Bullet

When I think back to all the times I was rejected, I remember that at the time it happened I thought my world was ending. But now I realize these things were a HUGE blessing in disguise.

A few months ago, I was laid off from a job because the corporate big-wigs said I wasn’t needed anymore. Looking back at it now, I knew that this rejection would serve me well because it meant I was leaving a company that no longer valued me.

This was my chance to pursue work that was more professionally and spiritually satisfying. If that rejection hadn’t happened, who knows? I’d probably still be there, unhappy and unfulfilled.

Years ago, I was dumped by somebody I was dating, and I remember feeling like my world had ended. But that rejection turned out to be a blessing in disguise because being out of that relationship helped me realize how unhealthy and controlling it had been. It was not beneficial for me to spend time with someone who did not deserve my love.

The rejections that you are dealing with in your life, although varied, are the same at their core. There’s the rejection of your partner not wanting to be in a relationship anymore. There’s that person not returning your calls. And there’s that boss who doesn’t appreciate you and is letting you go.

All of these come down to the universe saying, “Hey! You deserve better than this BS! Consider this your wake-up call to go and work on yourself, find out what makes you happy, and establish your independence!

And when you’re learning to get your life back and reclaim it for yourself at 50, what better gift is there?

Have there been times in your life when you felt rejected? What healthy ways did you find to deal with rejection? Do you think that love after 50 is different than at other ages? Please join the discussion below!

It’s been four months since we’ve seen any new products from Harry Styles’ Pleasing beauty line, which seems like a lot longer than it is. But it’s Harry Styles. We can never get enough. That’s why we’re so excited Pleasing’s Hot Holiday collection is coming SO soon. Don’t worry — it’s not giving off Christmas vibes in July. This is your summer holiday on the Italian coast. Whether that’s actually the plan this summer or not, a girl can dream.

Hot Holiday features four new shades of the biodegradable, 12-free nail polish inspired by summer: Beach Ball (a deep ocean blue opaque gloss), Nonna’s Sorbet (a yellow opaque gloss), Harry’s Chair (a seaweed green opaque gloss) and Wet Bottoms (a high gloss, clear topper for a wet-look finish). We’re truly obsessed with these names. Each is meant to be worn alone or you can layer them for a more unique look.

Pleasing.

The Pleasing Polish Set retails for $65 for four shades, plus you get cute beach-y decals to adorn your nails. Beach Ball and Nonna’s Sorbet shades are also sold individually for $20.

Pleasing.

Joining the polishes are two new skin and body products and vacation-ready apparel items. You read that right — more clothes are coming! How excited are you and how cute are the campaign images from this collection?!

Pleasing.

Let’s talk skincare first. There’s the The Pleasing Spritz Probiotic Soothing Tonic ($25 at Pleasing), a calming face mist infused with niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, Maris aqua, Euglena gracilis extract and bitter orange flower oil. Like the brand’s other skincare products, it’s vegan, cruelty-free, gluten-free and non-comedogenic (meaning it won’t clog your pores).

Pleasing.

Finally, there’s the Everybody Oil Matte Moisture Glow ($45 at Pleasing), a hydrating body oil with a matte finish. It contains ingredients such as chamomile, jojoba, evening primrose oil and buckthorn berry to
help your skin glow.

Pleasing.

The Hot Holiday collection launches July 19, with apparel coming July 26, on the Pleasing website. You can also grab the collection at one of the many IRL pop-ups happening. Check the Pleasing Twitter account for details!

If you purchase an independently reviewed product or service through a link on our website, STYLECASTER may receive an affiliate commission.

There’s nothing more important than having multi-tasking products in your skincare cabinet. Though having a 10-step or more skincare routine is in vogue, versatile formulas save you both time and money, and isn’t that always the end goal? You might be wondering where the heck to start, but to keep it short and sweet, you really only need to find yourself a solid vitamin C serum. 

How could a single product be able to do so much? It’s simple: Vitamin C is known to promote collagen production, protect against free radical damage and smooth skin texture. All of that manifests itself in a radiant, even, youthful-looking complexion. That’s why Dermalogica’s Biolumin-C Serum needs to be in your shopping cart right this second. It’s a lightweight serum that taps on vitamin C, lactic acid and chia seed oil. Together, they brighten, exfoliate, protect and firm your skin so well that you’ll be shocked by the results. 

It’s not surprising that the product has earned a 4.6-star overall rating, with one shopper saying, “This serum makes my skin look clean and dewy. I’m obsessed. A must for anyone starting to see fine lines.”

If you’re trying to fade hyperpigmentation, get rid of tiny bumps on your skin and lessen the appearance of wrinkles, you’re in the right place. Dermalogica’s vitamin C Serum is ready to instantly transform your skin into an even brighter, dewier masterpiece. 

RELATED: Hailey Bieber Swears This TikTok-Viral Vitamin C Serum ‘Changed’ Her Skin 

Photo: Dermalogica.

A trio of key ingredients gives this serum its magical, skin-altering powers. The vitamin C complex is made up of two stable forms of vitamin C that work together to brighten and smooth your complexion. Additionally, lactic acid, an alpha hydroxy acid, sloughs off dead skin cells to reveal a stunningly clear and glowy layer of skin. On top of all that, chia seed oil protects skin from environmental aggressors, which is always a must. With an ingredient list that good, we’re more than certain your skin’s about to serve.

“I could tell a difference in the brightness and feel of my face within the first five days,” wrote one reviewer. “As time went on I started to have a radiant glow. I had a few dark spots that are getting lighter by the day.”

To apply, use a full dropper of product and rub it all over your face and neck in both the morning and night. Be sure to do this after toning but before moisturizing to see the best results. 

“This serum works incredibly well in brightening dull, aging skin. I am very happy with the results in just the first few weeks,” wrote another shopper. 

Don’t put up with hyperpigmentation, uneven texture or damaged skin any longer; Dermalogica’s Biolumin-C Serum is here to bring all of the radiance, protection and clarity you deserve.

If you are reading this in “real time” then it is July in the Pacific Northwest which I call home. If you are not a native to the area then you may not be familiar with our saying, “summer weather for us does not officially start until the 5^th of July.”

It goes without saying that our springs are soggy, and we hold tight to the promise of sunny skies and warmer temperatures!

One of my true passions is gardening! When not working, you will find me in the garden, rain or shine, pulling weeds, pruning perennials, or fertilizing roses!

As a life and career coach, I like to think of the coaching process as a lot like gardening. There are many parallels, and, in the end, after all the work, you are the proud recipient of a beautiful garden.

Investing Time and Resources

To cultivate a beautiful garden, you need to invest time and energy, and the same can be said for the coaching process. Beautiful creations don’t happen overnight, and it takes careful planning, a commitment of time and aligning yourself with the right resources to make things happen.

I can’t tell you how many plants I have purchased over the years! All with the intention of creating a beautiful garden oasis for myself and family.

Recently, I had a client make the commitment to take the coaching journey. I could tell that they were excited, but a bit nervous as well. When inquiring, she mentioned that this was the most she ever spent on herself! Upon further conversation, she acknowledged that she spends way too much time and money on other things that are not purposeful and that she is worthy of this investment.

When considering a coaching journey make sure you understand your “why.” Why is this goal so important to you and how will it impact not only yourself but those in your immediate circle? You are laying the foundation for a promising return.

Nurture, Water and Fertilize

Many evenings in the height of summer I am out in my garden, making sure that the plants are getting enough water! Some require more than others so that they can thrive rather than survive. This is the same with coaching!

Each week, as I meet with a client, we are taking small steps towards significant growth. We may not see immediate results but along the way we are noticing shifts and momentum towards the goal. Being consistent and committed in the garden and our end goal, is when we get the beautiful bouquet of flowers! You too deserve to thrive in life and not just survive!

Weeding

If you have a garden, you need to weed! My garden is so large that by the time I make a loop in the yard I need to start all over again with the weeding process. When I look out at the yard at all the weeds it can seem very overwhelming, but I take a deep breath and tell myself that it’s a process and that for today I need to tackle just a portion. Not the entire yard!

I also know that when pulling the weeds, it’s making room for more beauty in the garden. When you look out it’s discouraging, but when done for the day it’s hard work you can be proud of accomplishing! Weeding is never over; it’s a constant process and something that is always a part of the gardening journey.

The same can be said for the coaching process; there will be highs and lows and at times may be overwhelming but each week you will be creating small wins that will move you forward towards your ultimate goal.

By moving forward you are increasing your self-confidence and stretching to new limits! Each day you’ll take a deep breath and ask yourself what you need to do to move forward. Your coach will be guiding you along the way helping you to create the steps and holding you accountable.

Sunshine

Flowers will not bloom without a good source of sunshine!

The same can be said about you! The sunshine creates productive thoughts and works towards a positive mindset.

Sometimes that can be tackling those stories we tell ourselves which, however, are not true. Stories that hold us back from achieving our goals. Do you have stories you tell yourself that are holding you back from moving forward towards your goals? You won’t blossom without a positive mindset for yourself.

Visualization

Every time I look at my garden, I visualize the next project or plant to introduce to my oasis! This allows me to create the momentum for moving forward when projects get overwhelming and difficult.

When embarking on a coaching journey, it’s important to visualize yourself moving through each step and seeing yourself accomplishing your goal. How will you feel once you have achieved your goal? Hold onto that feeling as it’s electric and can help you to move forward.

Celebrate the Bouquet!

There is nothing better on a summer morning than going out to your own garden and cutting a beautiful bouquet of roses! All the hard work over the months and you are finally reaping the rewards!

When reaching the end of your coaching journey, it’s important to stop and acknowledge the work you have done along the way and the achievement of your goal. How will you celebrate? By taking this time to be mindful, you are patting yourself on the back, this will help you raise your self-confidence and enable you to tackle harder goals in the future

If you are ready to tackle the weeds and grasp at some sunshine then you are ready for the coaching journey. I invite you to head over to my website and connect with me for a free exploratory call! I would love to help you cultivate your garden so you can enjoy and celebrate a beautiful bouquet!

Do you have a garden? What part of the gardening process is the hardest for you? Have you looked at your metaphorical garden, your life journey? What have you grown in it?