Kitty, age 64, carried a shameful secret since retiring early – she had become an overeater. She had worked in Los Angeles as newspaper editor most of her adult life. Her average work weeks were 60-plus hours.

She had a love-hate relationship with her job ever since social media had taken over the news industry, and she no longer could rest on her old fashioned and outdated work skills. Retiring just seemed to be the easy way out that would save face.

Something Was Wrong and Help Was Needed

Despite the fact that she’d been an avid exerciser, prided herself in eating healthy, had a marriage others considered “great,” Kitty was secretly losing control – filling her days with binge eating. Binge eating and watching TV until her spouse, Richard, who was still working at his career, came home each night was now her post retirement norm.

Worse yet, with no reason to go to bed early for work, she often stayed up alone watching even more TV and eating entire packages of snack foods like carb-loaded cookies and crackers.

A once smart journalist, she decided to go see a dietitian to investigate how to get help, but she just couldn’t follow along with the new diet plan she was given. She frequented the local Barnes and Noble and began reading all kinds of books with various diet plans. Yet, she kept returning to being influenced by her “overeating demons.”

How Do We Get to a Food Addiction?

Why is it that so many women, especially women past 60, struggle with food addictions?

One theory focuses on the fact that after decades of serving as caregivers and of putting others first, multi-tasking, and never being able to complete our to do list, women over 60 have simply reached the point where they can’t see a way to go back to their younger days of self-care and self-awareness.

In Kitty’s case:

• She’s avoided the scale for years.
• She’s worried about the future and her budget spending, not willing to spend money on healthier food options.
• She feels drained mentally and emotionally needing to catch up rest.
• The clothes that used to fit for work are tighter and no longer needed.
• The exercise classes/workouts are much harder and filled with too many young women.
• The stress causes yo-yo dieting brought on by events like family weddings, school reunions and more.

Emotional overeating is actually quite common in older women. We’re now grandmas and systematic drinking and recreational drugs are probably not the type of thing we turn to as role models for our kids and grandkids.

We love them, so we bake for them. We cook for them and offer them treats. So why not do the same for ourselves along the way? Food is something everyone needs and is good for you, right? We make the excuses, and we turn to food to help us deal with whatever is going on in our life.

While some skinny women struggle to maintain a healthy weight, there are many of us that have become emotional overeaters. Worse yet, our family members and caregivers tend to not help us balance our physical and emotional needs.

They usually cater to one or the other and not always in the healthiest of ways. My adult kids, for example, like to outdo each other on holidays by seeing who can buy mom the biggest box of her favorite chocolates.

What Causes Our Emotional Overeating?

Let’s examine the obvious first. Our society associates food with pleasurable activities like birthday parties, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, gatherings, special events and even formal ones like fundraisers and banquets. We’re taught from a very young age, mostly by nurturers in our lives like our own grandparents, that food can soothe our hurt feelings and bring us comfort at the same time.

Fast forward a few decades and we’re older, dealing with lots of negative emotions, like stress, frustration, loneliness, and boredom. We soothe ourselves like children – with food – to fill up the emptiness and bury these uncomfortable feelings.

Emotional overeating forces us as seniors to ignore our emotional needs and often prevents us from getting real help – especially if the emphasis is placed by others on our weight or aches and pains and not what is paining our hearts.

Recognize Your Own Emotional Overeating Symptoms

Ask yourself a few honest questions when examining your own relationship with food and your mental health:

• What do you like to do when you feel stressed or frustrated?
• What do you like to do when you are bored or lonely?
• When do you eat the most during the day?
• Are you eating according to your daily needs?
• Do you finish the entire container of food in one sitting, completely ignoring the portion and calorie information on the package?
• Are you constantly looking for snack food, even when you aren’t hungry?
• What snacks have you had this week? Did they make you feel better or worse?
• When you snack, are you still hungry for meals?

These kinds of questions can help you gain insights that you can discuss with your doctor or therapist. Our emotional overeating is less about the food and satisfying food cravings and more about using food to fulfill emotional needs and avoid dealing with our own negative feelings.

Practical Things You Can Start Doing Today to Help

#1: Face Your Excess Body Fat Fears

Overeating is closely linked to excess body fat and obesity due to your body being in a calorie surplus. To avoid fat gain, focus on lean proteins and non-starchy vegetables at meals.

#2: Stop Disrupting Your Own Hunger Regulation

Chronic overeating overrides hormones that control fullness and hunger, which makes it difficult for you to determine when your body needs fuel. You can counteract this effect by portioning out certain feel-good foods that satisfy you and eat them at a slower pace to allow your body to register it is feeling full.

#3: Focus Less on Food and More on Your Risk for Disease

Obesity, defined as having a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or above, is a main risk factors for metabolic syndrome. This cluster of conditions raises your chances of having heart disease and other health problems, such as diabetes and stroke.

Your doctor can see indicators of metabolic syndrome most commonly as high levels of fat in your blood, elevated blood pressure, insulin resistance, and inflammation.

#4: Fatten Your Brain, Not Your Body

Over time, overeating may harm brain function which is already at risk for dementia and Alzheimer’s. Given that your brain comprises of approximately 60% fat, eating healthy fats like fatty fish, avocados, nut butters, and olive oil may help prevent mental decline.

#5: Realize Your Eyes Really Are Bigger Than Your Stomach

The adult stomach is about the size of a closed fist and can hold about 2.5 ounces when empty. It can expand to hold around a quart. Once past that amount of food, we often feel the urge to literally get sick. While our “friends” Milk of Magnesia and Pepto Bismol may treat these symptoms, the best thing we can do is eat slower and eat smaller portions to keep us from getting sick in the first place.

#6: Eat That Burrito Calmly and Drink That Soda Slowly

There’s a reason the media and Hollywood often make jokes about seniors being “gassy.” Gas-producing food items like carbonated drinks and beans, along with certain vegetables and whole grains, are generally a problem as our stomach starts to wear out. And, if we are eating them fast as “fast food,” our bloating increases even more.

So, slow down you’re eating and wait until after meals to drink if you want to feel your best.

#7: Avoid Food Related Napping

We all know that overeating or eating a big meal can make you sluggish or tired but what it is actually doing is causing your blood sugar to dip.

Eat smaller, more frequent meals and only nap when you’re truly tired, not when your stomach is full.

There’s Real Help for Emotional Overeating

We most often turn to emotional overeating because we don’t know the right way to deal with new situations, like aging, in life the right way. With the help of others, we can stop allowing food to become our temporary solution to negative emotions and bad feelings.

We can return to or “amp up” healthy things in our lives like interacting with friends, engaging in hobbies and enjoying our independences. These first few steps are likely to chase away many of the negative emotions that can trigger our emotional overeating.

Get healthy meals at your senior center or Meals on Wheels programs. Make a plan to not eat alone whenever possible. We watch what we eat when we’re around others And, if you find sometimes you must eat alone, set a full place setting and flowers. Even these small reminders will help you realize how important you are.

If you still find yourself struggling, reach out to 12-Step Programs like Overeaters Anonymous (OA). Better yet, find a meeting in your area and go check it out.

If you’re overeating and have other addictions like alcohol or other substances, a gender specific residential or outpatient program like the ones offered at New Directions for Women can definitely help give you the support you need to tackle each addiction, one at a time.

Perhaps you’re snacking alone while you are reading this blog. I challenge you to get out the list of 7 things you can do to gain control over your eating addiction and work on just one. You will feel better both physically and emotionally with each step you take. I promise. So do it now and don’t make me eat my words.

What does emotional eating mean to you? What feelings make you reach out for food when you don’t need to eat? Do you think of this as food addiction or is it something else? What tools do you use to curb your need to eat when not hungry?

Kyle Richards’ Purple Face Mask on Her Instastories

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 2021 Instagram Beauty

I’m sure Kyle Richards needed her purple face mask after her long and busy weekend. My skin felt worn out just looking at all the festivities via Instagram. Just kidding my skin was very much relaxed and plopped on the couch all weekend. But either way it still doesn’t hurt to keep it hydrated whether you’re in or out. And thankfully Kyle quenched our thirst for more info on an amazing sheet mask by sharing her fav below.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here to Shop Her Knesko Hydrating Face Mask 4 Pack

Photo + ID Credit: @kylerichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Purple Face Mask

I’ll be the first to admit that finding gift ideas for women over 60 is tough – even when you’re one yourself! As I’ve gotten a little older, I’ve started to notice that buying presents for my friends has become more difficult. Maybe women over 60 place less value on material things. Or, maybe our tastes simply change as we age.

What Are the Best Gift Ideas for Women Over 60, Really?

Fortunately, as the founder of Sixty and Me, a community of over 500,000 women over 60, I have plenty of people to turn to for ideas. So, to help you choose the perfect gift for the women over 60 in your life, I asked the other members of the community what they considered to be the best gifts.

Many of their answers were unexpected, and I hope that the information here helps you to choose a gift that your older friend, mother, sister, or grandmother will love.

Looking for the best birthday gifts for a women over 70? See: 50 Gift Ideas for 70th Birthday.

First, a Few Words of Gift-Buying Advice

There’s a saying in medicine to “first do no harm,” and the same can be said for choosing presents for “older women.”

One of the worst things that you can do is to choose a gift based on aging stereotypes or, worse, “anti-aging” messages. So, before you start searching for cookware, skin cream, bath salts, or knitting wool, take the time to understand the unique personality of the special woman in your life.

Speaking of which, women over 60 want to own things that reflect their interests and personality. After six decades of gathering “stuff,” many of us are downsizing our lives and only have time for objects which we, in the words of William Morris: “know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” The last thing we want is more clutter around the house, just at a time when we’re trying to get organized.

So, if more “stuff” isn’t the answer, what is? Our passions. Most women over 60 have at least one or two things that we are crazy about. Some of us are collectors. Others have hobbies or activities that we couldn’t live without.

If you want to impress us, take the time to understand what is important in our lives.

When you do, you will give us two presents – the experience or object that you choose and the knowledge that you care enough to see us as people, not as a demographic.

One final piece of advice before I share some specific ideas – don’t feel like you need to spend a lot of money on gifts for women over 60. More than any other group, most of us appreciate the thought behind a gift. When in doubt, creating something that shows your love and attention will always make us happy.

So, all that said, here are a few unexpected gift ideas for women over 60:

Give Her a New Experience

Most women over 60 are more adventurous than you think. We’re certainly more adventurous than we are portrayed in the movies! While we still appreciate objects that are “useful or beautiful,” most of us are interested in filling our lives with as many experiences as we can.

Think about the special older woman in your life. Is there a unique place that she would love to go? Perhaps you could buy her a bus pass to go on a day trip or weekend adventure. Or, how about a massage, helicopter ride, or boat cruise?

I’m not saying that all women over 60 would love to take a helicopter ride. That’s not the point!

I’m simply saying that you shouldn’t eliminate adventurous options without thinking about her unique personality and interests first.

If you are looking for inspiration, check out Tinggly, an “experience” gift site. They offer a variety of unexpected “experiential” gift ideas, and there are plenty of similar sites throughout the world.

How about a Lobster and Beer cruise in New York? You won’t go far away, there won’t be too many people around and you will enjoy the summer season on the waves.

Or maybe a wildlife safari adventure in Wyoming? You’ll be surrounded by nature – the perfect location to socially distance while still soaking fresh air and vitamin D.

Give the Gift of Style

Despite what the many aging stereotypes might suggest, many women over 60 still love style and fashion. Most of us love to present our unique personalities to the world through the clothes that we wear every day.

Once again, since women over 60 are as different as the stars in the sky, it’s difficult to suggest specific stores for you to purchase items or a gift certificate from. Some women love classical styles, while others have embraced vintage clothing.

Your best bet is to casually ask her where she loves to shop and present her with a gift card she can use in-store (if she prefers to go to a physical location) or online.

Need some clothing store inspiration? See: Best Clothing Stores for Women Over 50.

Give Her the Gift of Health and Balance

Nothing is more important after 60 than staying healthy. When you feel good in your body, you are more likely to stay social, explore, and pursue your passions.

At the same time, many women in their 60s find the idea of going to the gym about as exciting as the prospect of spending time in the dentist’s chair.

Fortunately, there are plenty of healthy gift options that don’t involve weights or running machines!

Consider getting her a National Parks Senior Pass – with 62 official protected National Parks in 29 states they provide hiking trails, picnic spots, camping spots and guided tours.

Give Her a New Skill

Women over 60 love to learn. Is there something that she has always wanted to do? Perhaps she keeps talking about learning how to cook a certain cuisine? Or, maybe she has always wanted to take an art class? Whether she is interested in sushi or oil painting, learning a new skill will be a gift that she will remember forever.

Master Class offers a variety of classes with professionals in numerous fields. A cooking class with Gordon Ramsey? Photography tips and tricks from Annie Leibovitz? Let her choose her new skill.

Give Something a Little Risqué

If you are dating or married to this woman, she might appreciate a gift that touches on the sensual side. After all, another myth about older women is that they no longer care about sex or being desirable. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So, why not nourish her sensual side by giving her some fun lingerie or a risqué book like Fifty Shades of Grey, Gone Girl, or classic erotica like Delta of Venus by Anais Nin.

See also: Lingerie Guide for Older Women.

A slightly tamer, but no less sensual option, is to create a custom perfume just for her. Check out The Greatest Smell Ever for more details on how to create a customized perfume. These gift ideas for women over 60 aren’t for everyone, but you’ll know whether it makes sense.

Give Something Creative

The first step to choosing an “unexpected” gift is to abandon the tire stereotypes about what “older women” want. Once you take the time to truly understand her passions and personality, it’s time to apply your creative skills to choosing the perfect gift. Is there a small luxury or experience, related to one of her passions, which she would never pay for herself?

Can you give her a memory that she will keep with her for years to come? Don’t go for the lazy option. Even a hand-written card or homemade gift is better than a gift based on a tired cliché.

Get creative!

Give Something Inspirational

Women in their 60s are often going through a particular challenge in life, whether it’s a divorce, the end of a career, or unexpected health problems. These women would be particularly appreciative of your love and support.

If she is going through a transition in her life, consider buying an inspirational book by authors such as Pema Chodron, Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, the Dalai Lama, or Thích Nhất Hạnh. Add a hand-made candle to the package for women who like to meditate.

Once again, the physical gift is just a small part of the present. Giving the perfect gift is all about showing that you care!

There are many gift ideas for women over 60. Just remember to make your choice personal, creative, and insightful. When you take the time to pick something personal, you show how much you really care. And, at the end of the day, that’s all that women over 60 want!

What do you think are the best gift ideas for women over 60? What’s the best gift you’ve received recently? Please leave a comment below and let us know.

We are all afraid of the unknown. And not knowing exactly what it is we want stops us in our tracks. So, we get stuck. We choose safety over fulfillment because of overwhelm!

I’m thinking about Jesse, who was stuck in a job that, over the years, had become toxic – for a variety of reasons. She had the financial pressures of maintaining a home and her high schoolers were about to go to college.

It was so overwhelming that she just shut down and kept slogging on in her current situation. After a few sessions with me, she became clear about what she wanted. But mostly, she developed the confidence and energy to get a job she loved.

It changed her life in so many ways. So, I’d like to share with you five easy steps to start you on the path to living the life you dream of. And deserve!

But First, Breathe!

First, let’s identify what it is that you want – and next, some steps of how to go about getting it. Don’t do these assignments all at once. Take your time.

Journal About Your Current Job

Make a cup of tea and sit down with a journal. Writing things down gives you clarity. Also, things on paper seem less scary than thoughts flying round and round in the air with no destination.

Write the following down about your current job: what you don’t like about it, and what you do like about it. Make two lists of the pros and cons. Be honest and get into the tiniest details. And I mean tiny. Write anything and everything that comes to mind.

Is it boring? Too demanding? Is the company cheap? You don’t like the industry you’re in? You have a toxic workplace? A boss you don’t like? Your values aren’t aligned with the company? You’ve outgrown the job? You’re not getting the promotions you want? You’re exhausted? You don’t like the commute? Everything is valid.

By clarifying what you don’t like or want, it will help you clarify what you do want. Even more important: it attunes your senses in your job search so that you stay away from similar situations.

What’s Your Dream Job Fantasy?

What does your ideal day look like? Write it down and read it back to yourself, aloud.

First, do you want to stay in your field? Do you want a higher-level job in a different company? Or do you want to change careers entirely? Now is the time to confront and indulge your dreams and desires.

Can you write a job description of a position you might want? Or an industry you’d like to be in? Do you want to work freelance? Do you want to start your own business? Do you want job security? Do you want to relocate?

Educate Yourself. Do the Homework

Given what you stated you’d like to do in your ideal job – do you need to expand your knowledge in the area of technology or certifications? You might need to level up your skillset. Now is a good time to explore in-person training or online options for further education.

Learning something new while on your current job gives tremendous satisfaction since you know you’re moving forward. It empowers you, big time.

Jesse wanted to leave her non satisfying corporate job and work in the medical field. She researched the job possibilities by studying hospital websites and learned what it would take for her to qualify for these jobs. She talked to people in the medical profession to get their input, advice, and connections. Best of all, she learned that what she wanted was possible.

Getting the new qualifications, you need increases your self-confidence. Employers like people who are self-starters and know what they want. Your energy and accomplishments are attractive to employers. Learning new things always puts you in the situation of meeting new people – always a good thing.

Exploring

Consider putting your toes in the water before taking the deep dive. Can you explore your new career interest part-time? Can you talk to people who are in the industry you want to be in? This is a great way to learn more about the job and industry before you commit to making a transition. View job hunting as job exploring. Create opportunities for yourself.

Save Up Some Cash

If you are considering a switch to something more in alignment with your passion and purpose, it may (or may not) require a reduction in salary. I know many people feel that is fine as long as they are doing something that they love each day.

Joseph Campbell famously said, “follow your bliss and the money will come.” The universe supports you. Review your budget and start saving or working towards living on a reduced income so you can make the job switch comfortably or fund your new career venture.

You can do this! I believe in you!

What challenges are you facing in your current job? What are your fears in the now and moving forward? Do you see yourself changing careers and doing something else? What might that be?

If you found these tips helpful, check out Deborah’s weekly podcast, “Calm the Chaos” that will support you as you transform your life. You can also contact her for a free online consultation.

Not long ago, my then six-year-old grandson took me aback. “Granny,” he asked innocently enough. “Would you do me a favour?” I assumed he wanted another biscuit (cookie) or to watch some more television.

“Granny,” he continued. “Would you and Grand-dad do your very, very best to stay healthy, because I want my children to know their great-grandparents?”

Well, that was a surprise! I promised to try. What else could I say?

Thinking About the Future

Like many in the Sixty and Me community, I have not thought much about becoming a great-grandmother. Many of us are not yet grandmothers and taking it to the next step, even for those of us who are, seems a bit far.

And yet, if you have a reflective nature, you have undoubtedly begun to think about the long-term future. It’s not something you think about all the time, but it comes on at odd moments of the day or when prompted by some event.

Of course, you know you are growing older inexorably day by day, but you also know that there are too many unknowns to create a very vivid picture.

The Maturing of the Generations

If you are a grandmother, you may think about the future more readily, because when you are with the grandchildren, it is right there in front of you.

You do wonder what will happen to them. You look at those little smiling childish faces and try to imagine what they will look like when they are older. What will they be like as adults? What will they want to become? And what will the world be like when they get there? Things around us seem to be changing so fast, it is hard to imagine.

You may also wonder about your own children as older adults – although any transformation will not be so great – compared to small children.

But, quite naturally, you will also wonder about yourself. Will you be around in twenty or more years’ time? If so, what will you be up to doing? Will you have stayed healthy, as so eagerly urged by my grandson, or will you be struggling with some major illness? Will you still feel engaged and productive? Will you be happy?

The Satisfactions of Being a Great-Grandmother

This leads me back to that surprising issue of being a great-grandmother. I had never given it much thought. Indeed, I find it hard to imagine.

My older friends tell me it is somewhat like being a grandmother, but the distance in age, and sometimes your own frailty, makes it hard to feel quite so involved.

Of course, it is wonderful to hold a new and related baby in your arms. Indeed, as one friend put it, “To look into the eyes of the next generation.”

Multiple Generations Face-to-Face

If you and your children all started their families early, it will be much easier. You might be a great-grandmother in your sixties, with plenty of energy to take an active role. But for most of us, with children being born later and later, you may feel you need to take more of a back seat. This is not to say that, as the children grow and ask questions, you can’t impart the occasional wisdom. That could be very satisfying indeed.

And if you get there, you will be faced with amazing twin facts affecting your self-image. First, you will have reached the lofty stage of being a great-grandmother. Second, you will have to accept that your once little child is now a grandparent!

How often do you think about the long-term future? Do you look forward to being a great-grandmother? What are your thoughts about the “twin facts” and self-image? Please join the conversation.