With six or more decades of life under our belt, we have lived long enough to gain new identities and release old ones. In some cases, identity is established based on our phase of life. We were first a daughter, then a student, perhaps a wife, maybe a mom, employee or business owner.

There were natural shifts in identity when we got the degree, said, “I do,” accepted the job offer and when children came into the picture. Identity evolves naturally over time. Some identities are permanent (once a mom, always a mom) while others are marked with a beginning and an ending. Some identities might have felt prescribed, but others are a product of our own choosing.

Unexpected Identity Changes

Yet if you have had enough trips around the sun, it’s likely that life has thrown you a curve ball that brought you to your knees and called your identity into question.

With the loss of a spouse or divorce, we go from “we” to “me.” Retirement or job loss can disrupt one’s sense of identity. Becoming a caregiver, or no longer being a caregiver can prompt a significant shift in identity. Identity can change with empty nesting, downsizing or navigating illness, to name just a few.

Who Are You Now?

Whenever life throws a curve ball big enough to divide your life into “before” and “after,” it is likely time to reconsider your identity.

Do you know who you are now, after an unwanted or unexpected plot twist?

What does it mean to be you – now?

One way you can know that you’re being yourself is that there’s no restriction to how you show up in the world. You don’t second guess yourself. There’s no self-judgment or questioning.

There is simply just being you; telling the truth to yourself and being truthful to others about who you really are. It is caring very little whether someone is going to like you or not.

Your Closest Friends Know the Real You

Think about the people who know you the most. What have you shown them that makes them know you so well? What have you shown them that you don’t show other people? What have they seen that other people haven’t?

“This person really gets me because they know this_________.” That is who you are. That is your authentic self.

But what if you’d like something else? To be a different version of you?

Personality Is Malleable

It’s tempting to believe that personality is hard wired, a permanent characteristic that dictates who you are and how you show up in the world. But in his book Personality Isn’t Permanent: Break Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs and Rewrite Your Story, Dr. Benjamin Hardy suggests the opposite. Drawing on psychological research, he demonstrates that a person’s consistent attitudes and behaviors – in other words, their personality – is changeable, and shares how we can intentionally create our desired selves.

Including and especially after an unexpected, unwanted life event.

Maybe you’re reeling from the shock, or merely existing, or starting to live again, maybe even learning to thrive. Those are all versions of you. Spend time thinking about who you are in this chapter of your life, and who you want to be. Because in the words of George Eliot, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

In what ways have life events caused a shift in your identity? How has your identity evolved because of the life event? If you could give advice to a former version of yourself, what would you say?

As much as I love curly hair, all types of waves, kinks and coils, I don’t often wear my hair in its natural state. I just don’t think my waves are as pretty as other people’s curls. So, I blow out and straighten each wave, trying to adhere to some made-up beauty standard. No doubt, that’s how Khloe Kardashian feels about her hair. This is why posting a slideshow of photos of her “natural texture” is a pretty big deal.

Kardashian usually wears her hair long and straight, or maybe with some beach waves. Like her sisters, she often wears wigs and hair extensions. And there’s nothing wrong with it. But she chose to share her curly hair on Instagram because she “felt kinda cute with it” and begged followers not to “ruin the feeling.” No doubt, she didn’t want to read comments about the filters she uses or rude things about her body.

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Source: Instagram

Ignoring the filters for a moment, let’s look instead at how confident Kardashian is feeling. You know you’ve had a good hair day when you take a series of pictures from every angle. Her hairstylists both jumped into the comment section to show their support. Andrew Fitzsimons commented, “Your natural texture is my FAVORITE..” and Jen Atkin said, “ITS ALWAYS BEEN MY FAV.” It’s possible Kardashian is going through a bit of a curly hair journey because her strands look full and healthy. I hope we see more of it.

And if you noticed she’s not wearing her own Good American workout set, you have a good eye. She’s rocking a pastel seamless set from Black-owned brand LAPP The Label. There are other styles on the ASOS website right now on sale so you might want to jump on it.

Unlike her sisters, we don’t see a lot of beauty changes from Kourtney Kardashian. The 42-year-old mom of three keeps it pretty natural with her long dark hair and minimal makeup. That’s why when fans spotted Kardashian’s hair on Instagram, they lost it. Earlier this month, she posted a photo dump and casually included a shot of ultra-long cut-off hair just laying on the floor. She was in quarantine for 10 days with boyfriend Travis Barker so it seems she got just as bored as the rest of us.

We weren’t 100 percent sure if Kardashian did chop off her hair since short hair is not really her usual look. That’s much more of a Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner vibe. But over the weekend, she debuted an ultra-chic bob with a retro feel. It’s parted in the middle and ends right above her shoulders. When she flips it to the side, it has a cool Paris girl feel.

Source: Instagram

Hairstylist Peter Savic is responsible for the big chop, as he shared the same photos on his Instagram. Famous friends are loving the look. Her love Barker wrote, “You’re perfect,” while Hailey Bieber said it was “Sooooo cute” and Winnie Harlow wrote, “Well, that’s a bob.” Many asked if the star is pregnant, which normally is an extremely rude thing to say about someone’s body. But it’s not just about what she looks like.

Many are speculating that the throwback photos, high-waisted and looser clothes, and now this big haircut all means a baby for Kardashian and Barker. We’re not convinced but it wouldn’t be entirely unexpected. Though, Kardashian did respond to those pregnancy rumors last week—sort of. On August 12, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians alum posted a series of mirror selfies on Instagram of her in a black bralette with a red dress draped around her waist. “I’m a woman with a BODY,” she wrote.