Do you remember a time when you were
waiting by the phone for a special someone to call? It was excruciating and
endless, bringing with it a roller coaster of feelings.

Now in our 60s, we find ourselves
waiting again, for the doctor to call. It is no less terrifying.

I am waiting as I write this, so I am
momentarily quite an expert on the topic. As expert as anyone can be when our
very lives hang in the balance. I came up with a few thoughts, not really tips,
but just ideas of how to make it less agonizing.

Unlike waiting for that “someone” to
call, waiting for your health report is a multi-leveled experience. First comes
the blood test or the pains that tell you something is not quite right. You
wait for the appointment – which results in some kind of test like a CT scan.

Then you wait for the results and it
happens to be a holiday weekend. More waiting. And then the results indicate
that you need a biopsy.

You wait for the biopsy and then wait
again for the biopsy results. By now, you might be pretty upset. This process
could take well over a month.

So, it is worth thinking about what
can be done to make the waiting palatable. It is also important to figure out
how to keep living while you are waiting. What – Me, Worry? Really?

Alfred E. Newman, the mischievous kid
of Mad Magazine fame maybe could do it, but not me. However, a wise
counsel I received as a teen in distress was “try not to worry unless you are
sure you have something to worry about.”

That means, speculating and worrying
about an auspicious outcome is a waste if it turns out the biopsy shows
nothing. And what have you gained, but misery? If your worst fear comes true,
you have lost nothing by staying neutral and making the effort not to worry too
much.

Feeling It

That said, while not worrying may be
your intention, you will most likely feel a roller coaster of emotions. I like
to write in my journal to get those feelings out. And uncovering my worst fears
to a dear friend helps a lot.

There are plenty of teary songs to
listen to as you let yourself cry into your beer (or tea). I usually feel
better after a good cry. Letting the emotions out helps just as a rainstorm
that clears the air. Knowing it is a roller coaster, you will be able to start
the journey back up again, even while you are waiting.

Whistle While You Wait: Keep Busy

There are always things that can be
done to keep your mind occupied. I took up a small project – planting flowers
in pots on my deck.

It was something I could do when I was
not up to digging in the garden. I planted seeds, bought a few zinnia plants,
and one beautiful hanging pot with fuchsia “million bells” (calibrachoa).

Choose Who to Tell and When

I am not a super-private person;
however, I only opt to reveal the situation to a couple of selected people
while I am waiting. Otherwise, the flurry of daily texts and emails of concern
can be overwhelming and might even launch new roller coaster rides.

Just enough support during the waiting
period is all I want or need. Later, I have no problem informing others,
including you, dear readers.

Hope

Hope is a healing state of mind. It is
a refreshing spring that reminds us to stay open to life and that anything
might happen. I am not speaking of false hopes.

Also, becoming too optimistic could
mean a longer way to fall if the outcome is not what you are hoping for.
However, remaining hopeful and positive can be healing.

And healing is not always a physical
state. Even when the news is not so great, you can seek to transcend the moment
to something greater, allowing you to handle even the tough stuff with grace.

What
are you waiting for right now? How are you waiting for it? Do you have any tips
that can make the waiting easier to bear? Please share them below!

This post is a sponsored partnership between BigBlondeHair.com and Nordstrom, although all thoughts and picks are my own! We may receive a percentage of sales for items purchased from Nordstrom through affiliate links in this post. The celebrity names mentioned are in no way affiliated with this post or endorsing any products mentioned.

Best of Real Housewives Beverly Hills Beauty at Nordstrom

As most of you know, I am a little obsessed with Housewives beauty finds. And a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills beauty find is really like the golden ticket to me! So I’ve teamed up with Nordstrom (my fave place to shop beauty items) to bring you pieces that I’ve spotted this season and a few classics to scoop up. In addition, I’ve included a line up of some of their top summer products that are perfect when switching up your summer beauty routine! After all, hot girl summer is here, and who better to get inspo from than our fave Beverly Hills babes!

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

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1. Bobbi Brown Foundation Stick  2. Strum Night Serum 3. Dior Airflash Foundation* 4. Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue 5. Armani Foundation*

*I own and have purchased multiple times

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1. Peter Thomas Roth Eye Masks 2. Benefit Hoola Bronzer* 3. Laura Mercier Velour Matte Lipstick

*My next purchase!

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Originally posted at: Best of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Beauty

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey was written over 15 years ago but is still a best seller for good reason. His timeless advice is applicable across many aspects of our lives, business or personal.

One of his recommended seven habits is to begin with the end in mind. I couldn’t agree more, especially when it comes to personal finance and especially as it relates to titling our assets.

A Broken Record

I may sound like a broken record on this topic, and I hope you are not so tired of my soapbox on this matter, but it’s an extremely important part of your planning.

Even if you don’t have estate planning documents in place (60% of Americans die without them) or your documents are outdated (best to review them every 3-5 years), the correct account titling and beneficiary designations alone can save your assets from probate, delay, unnecessary costs, and going to someone you didn’t intend.

Making a List

The best starting point for looking at your situation is to see what homework you have. To start, you need to make a list of your bank accounts, life insurance policies, annuity contracts, non-retirement and retirement investment accounts, and property that you own.

I have found that list to be so important now and in the future that I designed one (that does the math for you) to easily capture it all in one place, including the titling/beneficiary details, My Net Worth Summary.

Now for the Homework

Once you have written a list of assets, look at the detail. This is when you “begin with the end in mind.” Ideally, your estate planning attorney should go through this list with you to recommend titling and beneficiary designations.

Bank Accounts

Does the title of your savings account, for example, tell the bank where you want that account to go after you are gone? If it is not a Joint with Rights of Survivorship account or a trust account, have you added a POD (Payable on Death) designation?

POD is only naming a beneficiary upon death, not giving any authority to use funds right now. A beneficiary designation on any account, non-retirement or retirement, bypasses probate so no delay and no cost to get it to where you wanted it to land.

Non-Retirement Assets

A similar option to a POD is also available for non-retirement investment accounts and property. If those assets are not titled as Joint with Rights of Survivorship or a trust, you can add a TOD (Transfer on Death) designation in order to bypass probate.

This is especially important if you own property in another state outside of your residence. Otherwise, your property may end up going through probate in two states, the state of your residence and the state of its location. Again, consulting your estate planning attorney is the best resource for getting recommendations on your specific situation.

Beneficiary Designations

Then on retirement accounts, annuity contracts, and life insurance policies, you want to be sure your beneficiary designations match what you said you wanted to happen in your estate planning documents. Generally, naming both a primary and a contingent beneficiary (or multiple beneficiaries) is a good practice.

If you have an IRA, for example, and name your spouse as primary beneficiary but are both killed in a car accident together, then who would you want to receive that account? The contingent beneficiary designation on that IRA would apply in that case.

The importance of getting your beneficiaries correct really hits home when you realize that a beneficiary designation is like a mini-will on each account. I can’t tell you how many times I have had people tell me “I am not sure how my beneficiaries are listed on each account, that was so long ago I can’t remember. But it doesn’t matter since I have it all spelled out in my will/trust.” Wrong, wrong, wrong!

The bank, insurance company, investment firm, or whoever the custodian is that’s holding the account will NOT consult your will/trust (unless you listed your estate or trust directly as your beneficiary, which may not be the best advice). They will distribute to whoever is listed as the beneficiary on that account, period.

The Consequences

Because beneficiary designations act as mini-wills, a recent widow watched her deceased husband’s 401(k) go to his brother. For the same reason, one adult child received an IRA (and owed all the taxes on it at her tax bracket) with the deceased parent’s assumption that she would then distribute it “fairly” to her siblings.

With the right beneficiary designations, unnecessary probate, often a one year or more process, is avoidable.

Let’s Begin!

Beginning with the end in mind, ask yourself where you want each asset to go in the end. It is truly an exercise that will save your family much misunderstanding, time, and cost in the end. Check out my free chapter on this exact topic.

This is a way to express your wishes now in writing for clear distribution later. You worked hard for what you have, so put some time into assuring the final landing spot for the fruits of your labor!

Have you had experiences related to titling and beneficiaries that can help others in our community? What have you found helpful to address this topic? Please share your thoughts.