Stephanie Hollman’s Girls Girls Girls Tee on RHOD

Real Housewives of Dallas Season 5 Episode 7 Fashion

According to the previews for this week’s episode of RHOD the ‘Wives embark upon a little road trip to the red light district Austin, Texas with Stephanie Hollman wearing this tee as part of her sexy rocker-chic ensemble. And tbh, we can’t think of a more appropriate choice for a trip that’s just Girls Girls Girls. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Show Me Your Mumu Tee on Sale (she cut the neckline to make it off the shoulder)

Originally posted at: Stephanie Hollman’s Girls Girls Girls Tee

Stephanie Hollman’s Cowboy Boots

Real Housewives of Dallas Season 5 Episode 7 Fashion

Stephanie Hollman is trading in her snow boots for her denim cowboy boots tonight. She and the Dallas crew are rocking their way to Austin. It will be nice to see Austin up and running again even if it is through the TV screen. I promise to only be a little bitter about it.

I actually have yet to buy a pair of cowboy boots since moving here, but after seeing this pic I think it’s time for me to start walkin‘ to the store to get a pair, and of course a denim top to match. So when the time comes for this weather to wrap it up I’ll save a horse and ride an Uber to the Austin night life that I know and love.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To See Her Off-White Denim Cowboy Boots

Click Here To Shop Her Button Down Shirt

Photo: @stephhollman

Originally posted at: Stephanie Hollman’s Cowboy Boots

I’ve noticed women often have a love-hate relationship with visibility. We long to be seen and heard while also being afraid of it.

We seem ambivalent about how we regard those who stand out and this extends to ourselves as well.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling. It bothers us, but we don’t want to discuss it. That might attract unwanted attention.

Tall Poppy Syndrome

I first heard the term ‘tall poppy syndrome’ when an Australian actress mentioned it during an interview. It is a term used to describe those who seem too visible and successful. It’s about wanting to cut tall poppies down when they rise above the crowd.

If we see someone enjoying something we want but don’t have, we can end up condemning the very thing we value. The opposite happens when we want to avoid being viewed as a tall poppy ourselves. We hide our achievements, so we don’t appear to be bragging.

To Be or Not to Be Visible

We experience conflicted feelings about success when our desire for visibility clashes with our want to hide. This gets even more complicated as increasing numbers of Boomer women jump into self-employment. If others don’t know you exist, you don’t have a business.

The same is true with any midlife job search. If you are looking for a new job, you will need to be visible as most of the work available can only be accessed by networking with others – online or off. Even if you apply for a job in person – most employers will check out your online profile.

Many women hate having their photo taken. Some replace their online image with a photo of their pet or a flower. I understand why.

Online trolls who like to offer criticism are a reality. So are creeps looking for a date among your FB posts. And yet, it’s a conundrum – especially with the growth in online video, FaceTime and Skype.

Is Being Visible an Attitude?

In an online discussion I read, women said that visibility was about self-confidence. One advised, “Don’t consent to being invisible.” Another said, “The times in my life that I have felt invisible have never had anything to do with how others saw me, but with how I saw myself.”

Some women said they felt invisible because as they grew older the opposite sex seemed to pay less attention to them. Others said they felt invisible when out with their husbands. A man was addressed when buying a car – while they were ignored.

And yet other women said they sometimes like to feel invisible because they find it less stressful. It gives them a break from unwanted attention and a chance to be alone with their thoughts.

There Is Strength in Female Friendship

Female friendship allows us to be visible with our vulnerabilities. Among friends our own age, we feel connected by our common life experiences and realize we are not alone.

Like-minded women tend to share with each other and offer support. We’ll provide a compassionate ear, lend a helping hand, offer solutions, boost each other up and celebrate each other’s achievements.

We’ll remove our masks and share our joy, sorrow, goals and vulnerabilities. Brene Brown calls vulnerability “the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.”

Women are learning that vulnerability can be a strength. To be fully human is to be vulnerable. No one gets out alive. Our younger selves often wore masks as we felt we had to pretend to be someone we’re not.

It’s hard to put yourself out there and open yourself to ridicule. It’s also hard to live a lie by hiding your authentic self. Older women are beginning to let go of any pretense from past roles. We are expressing more of ourselves.

Vulnerability is about a willingness to show up and be seen when we can’t control the outcome. It takes courage.

Life Is One Risk After Another

It is when we let down our defenses and express more of who we really are that we become more fully alive and human. We need to take chances. When we experience a full range of emotions that includes both joy and pain, we allow our emotions in – rather than deny them.

When we guard ourselves against love because we’re afraid of losing it – we’ve already lost. Part of being vulnerable means reaching out to others and asking for support, rather than going it alone.

Offering support is also a risk. We can offer kindness, affection or love and be rejected. We can reach for a goal and fall short of it and then look foolish in a public forum. It’s still worth the risk.

Let Yourself Be Seen and Heard

Even though as children we may have sung about “letting our little light shine,” as adults we still have a tendency to “hide it under a bushel.”

We all have dreams and challenges. A woman’s circle is good medicine for the soul. Sixty and Me is our circle.

Do you have conflicted feelings about wanting to be heard and yet also not wanting to stand out? Please share your thoughts and insights with our community using the comments section below.

I’m convinced that none of us can escape dark eye circles and under-eye bags (with the help of some Plexaderm skincare products or not). If it isn’t genetics passed down from our parents and grandparents, it’s a chaotic schedule that convinces us to trade in rest for more work. Before you know it, there isn’t enough concealer in the world to hide the fact that you’re routinely getting less than eight hours of sleep every night. And even if you come to your senses and set some boundaries between the bed and your work desk, skincare products that work like Plexaderm feel like a necessity because the damage is sort of done.

For those who don’t know, Plexaderm has been around for a while but it may not be on your radar given that it’s one of a neverending list of products that promise to nix dark circles, bags and fine lines. And while plenty of them actually deliver results, what sets Plexaderm apart is its instant gratification. The product, best described as a serum, is made up of silicate minerals derived from shale clay that tighten and lift the skin surrounding the eye in as little as 10 minutes. The downside? The effects only last until you wash your face at the end of the day, but it’s still the closest you’ll get to actual Plexaderm treatment.

Fortunately, if you happen to be in the market for a similar dupe to the O.G. quick-fix product, you’re in luck, because we’ve done the research for you and outlined some of our favorite products that work almost as well as Plexaderm but offer sustained benefits rather than just instant, temporary results. We even were able to find some solid alternatives that are a little easier on the wallet as well. Of course, if you’re looking for instant gratification and prefer to stick to the real deal, you can actually find Plexaderm on Amazon. On the other hand, if you’d rather try something with longer-term effects, consider any of these products that promise Plexaderm-like results.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Plexaderm.

Plexaderm Rapid Reduction Eye Serum

Buy: Plexaderm Rapid Reduction Eye Serum $65.95

In case you do want to try the real deal. If you’re anything like me, the quick return on investment will convince you to try at least once.

Estetist.

Estetist Caffeine-Infused Coffee Eye Lift Cream

The powerhouse ingredient in this anti-aging, under-eye treatment is organic coffee bean. It’s been clinically proven countless times over to not only boost collagen production, but calm puffiness and brighten skin tone, too.

Buy: Estetist Caffeine-Infused Coffee Eye Lift Cream $16.99

Kiehl’s.

Kiehl’s Eye Fuel

Lightweight and suitable for all skin types, this cooling eye treatment is made with caffeine to fight puffiness and vitamin B3 to diminish dark circles.

Drunk Elephant.

Drunk Elephant C-Tango Multivitamin Eye Cream

There’s a reason—actually quire a few—that this antioxidant-infused eye cream has become such a beloved cult favorite. The vitamin C and peptide-charged formula fights free radical damage and also helps to correct existing signs of premature aging.

Erno Lazlo.

Erno Lazlo Multi-Taski Gel Eye Cream

This multifunctional eye treatment combines the puffiness-reducing properties of a cooling gel with the hydrating and line-filling benefits you get with a traditional cream formula.

First Aid Beauty.

First Aid Beauty Eye Duty Niacinamide Brightening Cream

Formulated with brightening superhero niacinamide, this corrective eye cream helps to banish dark circles and discoloration without feeling heavy or interfering with your concealer.

Freck.

Freck So Jelly Cactus Eye Jelly With Collagen

Spiked with line-reducing cactus and plumping collagen, this illuminating formula helps brighten hyperpigmentation for a youthful, bright-eyed effect instantly.

Alpyn Beauty.

Alpyn Beauty Natural PlantGenius Line-Filling Eye Balm

Fast-absorbing but still cushiony, this plant-based eye balm is enriched with the retinol alternative bakuchiol to diminish fine lines and boost collagen production.

Buy: Alpyn Beauty Natural PlantGenius Line-Filling Eye Balm $62

Dermalogica.

Dermalogica Biolumin-C Eye Serum

In addition to a vitamin C complex for brightening, this lightweight eye serum is also infused with chia seed oil to depuff eye bags and tremella mushroom extract for hydration and firming.

Buy: Dermalogica Biolumin-C Eye Serum $70

Glow Recipe.

Glow Recipe Avocado Melt Retinol Eye Sleeping Mask

An ultra-rich eye mask with time-release retinol (smoothing), coffeeberry (brightening) and avocado (moisture) for the ultimate glow-up.

Buy: Glow Recipe Avocado Melt Retinol Eye Sleeping Mask $46

Kate Somerville.

Kate Somerville Wrinkle Warrior Eye Gel

Somerville’s eye treatment is a standout thanks to a formula that includes yeast and plankton extracts for nixing dark circles and an “HA3” complex, made up of several kinds of hyaluronic acid, to plump the under-eye area.

Olay.

Olay Eyes Eye Lifting Serum

This fragrance-free eye serum was formulated specifically for lifting and firming sagging, under-eye skin.

Buy: Olay Eyes Eye Lifting Serum $22.78

Peter Thomas Roth.

Peter Thomas Roth Instant FIRMx Eye

This quick-fix eye cream tightens the look of the skin upon application and minimizes the appearance of crow’s feet and other fine lines over time.

Sunday Riley.

Sunday Riley Auto Correct Brightening and Depuffing Eye Contour Cream

This cruelty-free formula uses a mix of popular and little-known ingredients to deliver everything you want for a glowy, youthful smize.

Buy: Sunday Riley Auto Correct Brightening and Depuffing Eye Contour Cream $65

Murad.

Murad Renewing Eye Cream

This firming and lifting eye cream delivers visible results—softening the look of fine lines and crows’ feet and brightening darkness—without leaving behind a greasy residue.

Versed.

Versed The Fix Emergency Eye Mask

As the name suggests, this quick-fix eye mask instantly reduces puffiness and undereye swelling and magically lifts under-eye circles and discoloration instantly.

A version of this article was published in August 2020. 

Learning when to let go is one of life’s most important lessons. Whether we’re leaving a loved one or they are leaving us, there comes a time to make a choice that demonstrates who we are and what we value, regardless of what other people may think.

I have written quite a bit about the grieving process in my own life as I left a marriage, home, and lifestyle I loved only to find that members of my closest family had abandoned me in the process. In religious terms, that is called shunning. In today’s web-connected world, it’s called ghosting.

I vacillated between doubling down on efforts to connect, hoping to force change or enforce my expectations. Fear or anger dominated my decision-making. The harder I tried to connect, the greater the distance grew between us.

The Five Inevitables

According to David Richo, author of The Five Things We Cannot Change, there are five inevitables:

• Everything changes and ends.
• Things do not always go according to plan.
• Life is not always fair.
• Pain is part of life.
• People are not loving and loyal all the time.

Successful people spend their lives in positions of leadership – at home, at work, at church. We guide, train, teach, and release. Wisdom dictates when to hold on and when to let go.

It is different for every person in every circumstance or stage of life. Sometimes people jump ship too soon, and sometimes they stay far longer than they should.

Approaching a Surrender

The first indicator that I was approaching a surrender was that I began to feel victimized and stuck. In the addiction world, we call that ‘hitting bottom’.

The natural response is to fight, flee, or freeze. I did all of those before moving beyond the sorrow enough to engage my brain again and make healthy choices for myself in spite of what I perceive as unfinished business.

Whether you’re struggling with an uncertain future around love, money, lifestyle or health, the recovery stages remain the same. When we’re facing change, our minds can only calculate what we will lose, not what treasures await us on the other side of the leap.

Here are some practical steps you can take to weather the inevitable grief of loss and exhilaration of meaningful change.

Resent

Transformational speaker Kyle Cease said that people don’t break your heart, they break your expectations. After we come out of denial, facing loss makes us angry. Especially if it is the loss of a cherished belief or dream.

Change is hard. Losses are real. Anger is the emotion (Energy in Motion) required to move us beyond the pain. It fuels us to find resolution.

Regroup

Facing the hard question of “should I stay or should I go” can stir fear, insecurities, and anxieties that threaten to overtake us.

We worry about what people think, how we look, and how to navigate new areas we may not have faced before. To ease those anxieties, we may struggle for more control. We want to micromanage the results – anything to keep from feeling powerless.

Deep down, we know that’s not the way life works. This is your time to take a deep breath. Be still and know that sometimes you just have to lean in to your limitations.

Repair

Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, even though you may not be able to see it yet. Follow your heart to the Promised Land where you forgive yourself and all involved.

Do what you can to live at peace with or without your desired outcome. Be respectful of others and, more importantly, find your self-respect again.

Release

Bury the bitterness and break the rules. Life as you knew it before the divorce, devastation or death is over. You can’t go back to what was; you can only press ahead to what may be.

Just because life knocked you down doesn’t mean you’re stuck there. Sometimes your eyes need to be washed with tears before you can see new possibilities ahead. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Learn what you can and move on.

How do you know when to hold on and when to let go? When it’s costing you more than you’re willing to pay. We only move when the pain of where we are is greater than the fear of where we’re going. And remember, one person cannot do the work of two.

Do you feel stuck in a mind-numbing job or a dead end relationship? Are you unable to effect a change or be recognized for your contribution? Are you holding out for the financial security of retirement? Do you feel stuck? Do you find yourself nagging, pleading, wishing, hoping or praying incessantly with no change in sight? Please join the conversation below.