As Baby Boomers grow older and start moving to smaller dwellings, their children are faced with a dilemma – parents’ possessions.

Furniture, keepsakes and heirlooms that parents want to pass on are often not wanted by the younger generation. What do you do with all the ‘stuff,’ and how do you approach the subject?

Here are some things to do.

Dive Right In

The key to all things in the aging space is to have discussions earlier. When looking at possessions, consider that people hold on to things for three reasons – sentimental value, utility, aesthetics. Understanding that helps.

My mother-in-law passed on January 5, but we knew she had limited time. A year ago, my wife started spending more time with her and gently and kindly going through and asking about her things.

Over the course of the year, it was pretty much worked out where things would go. In fact, in the course of four days after Christmas, we emptied her apartment, furnished her assisted living and distributed other items as planned and discussed.

While you can document where you would like things to go in a will, it makes much more sense to work it out earlier with the help of your closest people.

This, through repeated and gentle conversations, helps parents realistically understand that their kids often do not want those old possessions. They probably went through the same thing with their parents.

Get Siblings on Board

For me, when mom passed in 2016, my sister had already passed and we downsized mom several times so there was little issue.

My wife has three other siblings; frankly, one more in need than the others. What they wanted most was some kind of keepsake to remember their mom. My wife wanted the Lenox Christmas plates, mainly because most were given to her mom by us.

It does not go that smooth for all families, however. So, the sooner siblings talk, the better, and that can inform the conversations you have with mom and dad.

I had a friend whose sister called him one day and told him she was at their mom’s place. She informed him she was cleaning the place out and taking what was rightfully hers!

Get on board. Your executor will thank you. Also, know the pitfalls that are coming.

No Children, No Problem

It’s important to designate where you want things to go. Maybe there are no children but there are nieces and nephews.

If not, you may need help and want to consider using the services of a senior move manager. They help you organize and downsize your possessions for either staying in your home or preparing to move to, say, an assisted living facility.

The beauty in this is that any one of us can start this process on their own. There is a book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It advocates an all-at-once, ‘aim for perfection’ kind of decluttering.

Start one room at a time. Why, for example, do I have four six-quart pots in my kitchen? My wife and I go room to room through our house once a year. We know we have too much stuff and that our kids don’t want it and don’t want to deal with it.

Sudden change – even for good – is like surgery. You can cut quickly, but recovery can be very painful. So, again, start early, and work at it over time.

Seven Ways to Let Go

• Start the decluttering process earlier in life and make it a habit.
• Work with your children to see what they truly want and what would be donated.
• Determine what you would need if you were to move into a smaller place.
• Putting things in self-storage only postpones the inevitable.
• Sell things online, in a garage sale, etc.
• Donate to charity. But be aware that even they are becoming overwhelmed with furniture they can’t use or sell.
• Deal with sentimental items that absolutely can’t be kept or given away. Take a picture of them and write a short description of what they are and the story behind them. Store it in cloud services like Digital Life Cloud and others.

How about you? How are you dealing with mom and dad’s ‘stuff’ – and yours? Are you on top of your downsizing project, or is it overwhelming you?

Stephanie Hollman’s Beige Turtleneck Sweater on Instagram

Real Housewives of Dallas 2021 Instagram Fashion

Stephanie Hollman’s beige turtleneck sweater is probably coming in handy for this Winter Storm that has hit TX and half of America. I thought I moved to Texas for the non-winter winters, but I was clearly mistaken. Literally, last week I was shopping for summer clothes and now I’m back to wanting all things winter. For example, this turtleneck because it’s super cute on it’s own or layered (with many many layers). But Steph’s post also reminded me that no matter what the weather always bring your own sunshine. So here I am warming myself up with many turtlenecks and glasses of wine my own .

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her Michelle Mason Beige Turtleneck

Photo: @stephhollman

Originally posted at: Stephanie Hollman’s Beige Turtleneck Sweater

When a big shopping holiday rolls around, like President’s Day, it can be hard to figure out what you actually need vs what you want just because it’s discounted. Like, do you need a puffer if you live in LA? Or another coffee machine when you usually go to Starbucks? But Tarte’s sale is different. These are the products you’re likely to buy anyway so it’s a great time to stock up on foundation, concealer, blush, skincare and more.

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Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. QVC is a STYLECASTER sponsor, however, all products in this article were independently selected by our editors. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

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I am proud to be a farmer’s daughter and cherish my memories growing up on the farm. The first lambs and calves of the year meant spring was finally here. Winning a blue ribbon for my show pig at the county fair is an early accomplishment I’ll never forget.

I grew up eating like a farmer’s daughter, too. I love meat.

I know a lot of people don’t eat anything with eyes for personal reasons, and I’m fine with that. But the meat food group often gets a bad rap which, in my opinion, is not fair. Still, I can’t help wondering if too much meat in my diet might stop me short on my 100^th Year Project.

Heart of the Matter

When study after study came out blaming heart disease on saturated fat, particularly in meat, we started eating more poultry – three times more chicken now than we did in the 1960s.

We heard clever ad campaigns like “Pork: The Other White Meat.” But it wasn’t long before poultry – and even the humble egg – became villains, too, as production increased to keep up with the demand.

More recent studies are proving carbohydrates and sugars, not fat, are the more likely culprits in high blood cholesterol and potential heart disease. I admit my cholesterol is too high. I do worry about heart disease. And what I’m learning messes with some of my favorite lunches.

It turns out that a bad mix is when we combine saturated fats from meats with sugars and refined carbs. I guess that Philly cheesesteak sandwich and Sweetie Pie that I shared for lunch last Saturday wasn’t so good for us. But nice lean slices of steak on a green salad? That’s health food.

Pumped on Protein

Meat, on its own, packs a heck of a protein punch. If we eliminate it entirely, it would become hard to eat enough protein to maintain the bone and muscle so important to our strength as we age.

How much protein do we need? Some say the average adult needs 60 to 90 grams of protein a day. That seems like a lot to me, so I found a handy USDA calculator for a more individualized answer.

A 3.5 ounce serving of beef delivers roughly 35 grams of protein, while the same size piece of tofu only has about 9 grams. Peanut butter comes in higher at 22 grams, but I can’t imagine eating 3.5 ounces of peanut butter. That would be more than 600 calories!

The point is clear. We don’t need a big, high-calorie piece of meat to get a lot of protein. Higher quality meat, like grass-fed beef, is even more nutritionally super charged. It costs extra, but the added expense may be worth the nutrition. Remember, you don’t need a big piece.

Down on the Farm

I’m the first to admit farming has changed since I was a kid. I used to watch cattle graze on the hill beyond the creek while I washed dishes at the kitchen sink.

Then the Environmental Protection Agency decided those grass-fed cattle posed a health risk, even though the creek came nowhere near human water supply.

Happy as those cows were in the pasture, most modern farming requires closer quarters for animals at least part of their lives. While cows and young calves are still mostly grazed, the majority of beef you buy in the grocery store now finishes its life on a feedlot.

Another fact shaping agriculture: the world has lost a third of its highest quality growing and grazing land since I left the farm 40 years ago.

Right here, near our Florida coastal community, is a highway we call the “cow road” because cattle used to graze on both sides. But the cattle are gone, and bulldozers are moving rich, dark farm dirt to make room for thousands of houses.

Even with less land, farming is much more efficient and productive than when I was a kid. Modern meat production is here to stay, as are fish and seafood farms. We gotta eat!

Animals in closer proximity tend to share sickness just like your grandkids do at day care. Without vaccinations and antibiotics, the farmer could lose a whole herd and many years of wages.

Process This

When it comes to processed meats, I’m a little more cautious. I prefer my own meatballs from beef and pork I grind at home to freezer-section varieties.

I know restaurant-style chicken nuggets are not health food. The air-fried chicken breast I make at home is a better option. But there’s one processed meat I can’t make better at home. Bacon!

Two summers ago, I flew home from Illinois, hand-carrying a gorgeous tomato from my sister’s garden. It screamed B.L.T., and I am not one to deny myself.

We bought the most natural bacon we could find. It was a treat, not part of my everyday diet. I do try to avoid additives and preservatives and other ingredients Grandma wouldn’t recognize as food.

So often, when we eat in a restaurant or gobble a culinary treasure from a food truck, we don’t really know what we’re eating. It’s hard to avoid ingredients you’d rather skip, like nitrates and nitrites.

If you like cured meats, salami and sausage like I do, you can find plenty of nitrate-free options now—even hot dogs! The occasional indulgence probably isn’t going to harm our health.

All meat, even without additives, goes through a chemical change when cooked on high heat. Could those black grill marks on your perfect grilled steak cause cancer? The Ouija board heads toward yes. In fact, many nutritionists recommend marinating meat before throwing it on the barbie to retard burning.

To eat or not to eat meat? It’s a very personal question. I fall squarely on the eat meat side of the dilemma. But, just like any diet choice, moderation and portion control matter.

So, I’ll try my best to not eat too much, to eat the best quality I can afford and to save bacon for those times I deserve a special treat.

Is meat an indulgence for you or part of your everyday diet? If you don’t eat meat, how do you get enough protein? Does your food budget stretch enough to buy grass-fed beef and organic produce? Please join the conversation and share your protein choices.

When a big shopping holiday rolls around, like President’s Day, it can be hard to figure out what you actually need vs what you want just because it’s discounted. Like, do you need a puffer if you live in LA? Or another coffee machine when you usually go to Starbucks? But Tarte’s sale is different. These are the products you’re likely to buy anyway so it’s a great time to stock up on foundation, concealer, blush, skincare and more.

From now until February 25, take 20 percent off the QVC price of Tarte goodies. It’s basically like a sale-on-sale because the QVC price is always less than retail or part of a great value set. Plus, you can pay off your purchase in installments as part of the “Easy Pay” system, which makes this sale a no-brainer. The entire Shape Tape family is included in this event, which doesn’t always happen. We’re calling concealer, foundation, setting spray, powder and more from the iconic line.

No idea where to start? Shop some of our favorites below—until they sell out.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. QVC is a STYLECASTER sponsor, however, all products in this article were independently selected by our editors. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale.

Blush Authority Amazonian Clay Cheek Wardrobe and Brush

Not only do you get three clay blushes and a perfect brush, but if you purchased each separately it would be $67!

Foundcealer Multi-Tasking Foundation with Brush

This medium coverage foundation has a radiant finish—in 30 shades.

Image: Tarte.

100% Pure Cold Pressed Maracuja Oil

This iconic oil contains essential fatty acids and vitamin C to hydrate and brighten the face.

Party Mascara and Liner Set

A smokey eye has never been easier with Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-in-1 Mascara and Double Take Eyeliner (a gel and liquid!).

Tarte.

Shape Tape Glow Wand

Look like you slept a full eight hours with this liquid brightener available in seven shades.

Tarte.

Shape Tape Contour Concealer

The iconic, full-coverage concealer rarely goes on sale, so stock up on your concealer, highlight and contour shades while you can.

Lippie Lingerie Matte Tint

These hydrating matte lip tints—in five natural shades—are great for under a face mask.