Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

I like to say that books love us and want us to be happy so, in that spirit, I created “book-desserts” for myself when I was losing 55-pounds in my late-30s and early-40s. Today, I still use book-desserts to maintain the original loss. I’m currently 61, had two babies and a husband who I call “The Scarfer” (he thinks it’s hilarious).

The idea behind book-desserts is this: as we slowly decrease nighttime eating habits that aren’t working in our favor – Ben & Jerry’s, Hostess et al. – we replace the bad habit with a new one: in our case, a fabulous and super juicy read.

As a former trained therapist, I use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as the go-to spine for the micro-tools I used and still use today to maintain my lifetime-weight loss. These days, a forever weight loss and maintenance for women over 50 is authentic and tangible and can be fully realized by you.

The Contract: Don’t Skip It

On the day you’re ready to give book-desserts a try, write a hardcopy contract with yourself detailing exactly how the evening will go. Start with what you’ll eat for a light dinner by 6 p.m., how you’ll turn off the kitchen light, and go to your bedroom “early” like around eight o’clock knowing that you have a great book on your nightstand. (The book-desserts strategy works best if you shower or bathe and have clean sheets and pretty jammies. Just saying.)

Do these 66 nights in a row as that’s how long it takes to create a strong new habit, based on 2009 study out of England. Keep in mind that the first two weeks are the most challenging – stick to it. And remember that a strong habit needs nurturing to survive.

Every week, I go through a stack of books and select the ones that look so good I don’t want the story to end. Only those are called book-desserts, and I put them on my blog: theInspiredEater.com. I’ve read and loved all of the following titles:

The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper by Phaedra Patrick

If you loved reading A Man Called Ove, then The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper by Phaedra Patrick is your book. It’s adorable and sweet and life-affirming. We meet Arthur, a soggy-sad widower on the first anniversary of his wife’s death. One year after she passes, he decides to clean up the last of her things and happens onto a never-before-seen (by him) fine gold charm bracelet.

And that begins Arthur’s journey that takes him around the world (Paris, London, and India). As he travels, Arthur begins to see that – even if he is a widower – there’s still life to be lived. Perfect read for the upcoming autumn cozy nights.

Daughters of Shandong Eve J. Chung

This is one of the best books I’ve ever read, and amazingly, it’s the author’s debut novel. Daughters of Shandong by Eve J. Chung is a gripping historical novel set during the chaos of 1948 China. It follows a mother and three sisters as they navigate war, displacement, and danger, making a harrowing journey based on her family’s experience. A don’t miss book-dessert.

Loving Frank: A Novel by Nancy Horan

Loving Frank: A Novel by Nancy Horan tells the real-life story of Bee Daniels, a smart young woman in the early 1900s who falls for the famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright. Their love is passionate, but scandalous.

Bee leaves her husband to be with Frank, and the novel dives into their intense, complicated relationship. It’s about the costs of following your heart, all told from Bee’s perspective. The ending is astounding. If you want to get lost in a great book-dessert, this is your treat!

Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty

Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty opens with passengers on a plane, but no worries, the plane does not crash. Here One Moment has a theme of would you want to know the date of your death? But – amazingly – the story is light and friendly. I know, makes no sense. Excellent read. This is the same author who wrote Big, Little Lies.

I’ll Have What She’s Having by Chelsea Handler

It’s long seemed to me that when a writer puts out one memoir after another, their latest is somewhat watered down. But Chelsea Handler is not one of those writers. Her newest, I’ll Have What She’s Having, begins with Handler being upbraided by Jane Fonda and moves seamlessly into her experience of the Covid lockdown with part of her family; why she isn’t really “kid-less”; and hilarious interactions with her dogs.

It’s also interesting to see how Handler spoils her large family with really nice vacations that she’s able to offer given her success. It’s touching to see how generous she is to those she loves. And you have to read how this dyed-in-the-wool liberal meets President Bush at his home. (Hilarity ensues.)

Most interesting of all, Handler doesn’t use a ghost-writer like so many celebs, she’s really writing these books which is – like the Hope Diamond – both rare and stunning. Handler seems in on the joke that she’s a party girl having a blast in life, but more accurately, is smarter than your average bear and one of our world’s most multi-faceted personalities.

The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin

The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin is off-the-rails fantastic. This memoir is an absorbing and incredible monument to how we humans can make massive change in our life when needed. The opening line of the book, “Reading was my first addiction,” is a great beginning to this extraordinary story. Total book dessert.

Open House by Elizabeth Berg

Open House by Elizabeth Berg opens with Samantha being deserted by her husband. She hadn’t seen the red flags. Sounds funny, but this book is both funny and light. A wonderful weekend read. I first read Open House 20 years ago, and two of the scenes have always stayed with me. One scene sees the heroine “revenge shopping” at Tiffany’s which is a hilarious idea. It sounds sad but is a total upper. Dessert-book city!

Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen

It’s light-hearted, but I couldn’t say which genre it would fall into. Turns out, it’s the “humorous crime thrillers” genre which I hadn’t realized existed. The story begins on a cruise and the wife gets thrown overboard but survives.

Apparently, the author, Carl Hiaasen, loves to make fun of popular culture, and he skewers cruising (one of my most favorite things. lol). But the book is light and fun. A little bit of it reminds me of The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared. Both phenomenal books, both perfect for our book-dessert.

The Spy and the Traitor: The Greatest Espionage Story of the Cold War by Ben Macintyre

If you’re a fan of Erik Larson (The Splendid and the Vile; Isaac’s Storm), then you’ll enjoy The Spy and the Traitor: The Greatest Espionage Story of the Cold War by Ben Macintyre.

I hear you. A spy book? Ick, but this one that came out in 2018 kept me highly engaged. It tells the story of a highly ranked KGB agent who – slowly – made it clear to the British that he was ready to defect and be a spy for the good guys. It’s so interesting to see how he signals the British MI6 and details the complex plan that would get him out of Russia. The man’s amazing and still lives in England – under heavy guards, even now. Phenomenal book-dessert.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed is an astounding read. Even if you’ve already seen the movie, read this book. Absolute book-dessert.

Wild Ride: A Memoir of I.V. Drips and Rocket Ships by Hayley Arceneaux

Right off the bat, I want to tell you that Wild Ride: A Memoir of I.V. Drips and Rocket Ships by Hayley Arceneaux is not about drug use (like I’d assumed). Instead, it’s a beautiful memoir about the author surviving cancer as a kid and moving into adulthood primed to be inspirational to the current kids navigating cancer diagnosis. Perfect book-dessert.

You and I are living in modern times. The days of crazy yo-yoing are so last century. We now know that creating strong habits – like a book-dessert – in exchange for food-porn is just one of the strong habits we can instill and will forever have our backs.

Let’s Have a Conversation!

We’re all on the hunt for great titles. Please share the best book you’ve read in 2025. What’s one of your most favorite books of all time? What do you think about the idea of substituting an amazing book for nighttime overeating?

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Originally posted at: Angie Katsanevas’ Long Sleeve Printed Sequin Mini Dress

Nothing worked until she tried this Australian skincare brand.

Aging is rarely a perfectly synchronized dance. One partner may seem to glide into their later years with energy and resilience. At the same time, the other begins to struggle with health issues, reduced stamina, or mood shifts.

For women over 60, this reality can be both confusing and emotionally challenging.

How do you stay connected when the person beside you – sometimes literally in the same bed – feels like they’re in an entirely different stage of life?

It’s not just about wrinkles or gray hair. It’s about how energy levels, physical ability, and emotional resilience can diverge in a long-term partnership.

The good news is that these differences don’t have to drive you apart. With understanding, communication, and a willingness to adapt, you can strengthen your relationship even when one of you is “aging faster” than the other.

So, how do you contend with an age gap that’s measured in behaviors and not years?

Recognize That Aging Isn’t Linear

A common myth about aging is that it happens at the same pace for everyone. But anyone who’s hit midlife knows that’s not the case. Genetics, lifestyle choices, health conditions, and even attitude all influence how aging shows up.

For example, one partner might still jog three miles a day while the other struggles with arthritis pain. Or perhaps one is mentally adventurous, taking classes and trying new hobbies, while the other is more content staying home and sticking to routines.

These mismatches can create frustration, loneliness, or even resentment.

The first step is acknowledging that aging isn’t always linear and respecting each other’s differences without judgment.

Instead of silently comparing yourselves (“Why can’t he keep up with me?” or “Why is he suddenly so tired all the time?”), recognize that this can be a normal part of the aging process.

Seeing your partner’s journey as separate from your own makes it easier to stay compassionate instead of competitive.

Here are some practical tips that can help you maintain harmony in aging.

Bridge the Emotional Gap

It’s not just physical stamina that shifts with age – emotional worlds can look different too.

One partner may become more reflective and sentimental, while the other continues to thrive on external goals and ambitions. Hormonal changes, loss of parents, retirement stress, or simply a reevaluation of priorities can affect men and women differently.

If you find yourself feeling emotionally “out of sync” with your partner, resist the urge to interpret it as a sign your relationship is sinking. Instead, put effort into bridging the gap between you.

How?

Start Small Conversations

Ask questions.

“How are you feeling about being 65 (or whatever age)?” or “What’s been on your mind lately?” are a good way to start.

Listen Without Trying to Fix

The goal isn’t to be your partner’s therapist but to give space for sharing.

The way they feel is valid, and you shouldn’t try to dismiss it or change it without first understanding those feelings and being empathetic.

When you’re both feeling heard, you can discuss ways to approach your age and stage in the most positive manner possible.

Create Shared Rituals and Activities

Even if your emotional needs differ and your approaches to this stage of life are out of sync, rituals like sharing morning coffee together or taking evening walks can help maintain intimacy.

Stay Intimate Even When Physical Changes Arise

Physical differences in aging often become most apparent in terms of physical intimacy.

Libido, stamina, and health issues can alter how often and how easily partners connect sexually. For some couples, this becomes a major stumbling block.

But rather than losing interest and giving up, consider it an opportunity to reimagine what physical intimacy looks like.

Instead of measuring satisfaction and success by how things used to be, try exploring new forms of touch, affection, and connection.

Holding hands, cuddling on the couch, or giving each other massages can be just as powerful as traditional sex.

If one partner is eager while the other feels less interested, the key is to be honest without shaming.

So, rather than retreating in silence and giving up, try acknowledging that things have changed and so have your bodies, but your desire to connect and maintain that closeness hasn’t.

Intimacy doesn’t have to disappear just because we age. It can evolve into something equally satisfying and rewarding.

Create a New Balance Together

When one partner is more active or adventurous and the other prefers rest and routine, it can feel like you’re living parallel lives.

But balance is possible. The key lies in flexibility and compromise.

Here are some ideas to try:

Mixing Activities

If you love hiking but your partner prefers gentler outings, try alternating – one weekend hike, one weekend picnic.

If they’re physically unable to hike, that doesn’t mean you have to give it up, though. Go with friends and enjoy yourself, but also make time to do the things your partner is capable of doing.

Consider sharing photos of your adventures and describing what brings you joy.

Find Common Ground

Even if your speeds are different, shared interests like cooking, gardening, or travel can be adapted to fit both partners’ abilities.

Sometimes, staying connected is less about doing the exact same thing and more about maintaining the intention to be in each other’s worlds.

Look Ahead Instead of Back

One of the traps of midlife relationships is comparing the present to the past.

You may catch yourself thinking, “We used to go places and do things! Now we’re so boring,” or “He used to be so much more active. What’s wrong with him?”

While those memories are real, clinging to them can make the present feel inadequate.

A healthier approach is to focus on what’s still possible.

Maybe long flights are harder now, but road trips or shorter getaways can bring joy. Maybe late nights out have been replaced with cozy evenings in, but that doesn’t mean they’re less meaningful.

Reframing your present and future in terms of the opportunities they present, rather than as a slow decline, can shift the entire tone of your relationship.

When age takes its toll on your partner in ways that are harsher than on you, it can feel lonely. And it can also bring mortality and finality more closely into focus than either of you would like.

However, allowing yourself to spiral into decline over these changes is a waste of the opportunities and happiness that are available.

With honesty, compassion, and a willingness to adapt, you can stay connected even when your paths through aging take different turns.

At its core, love in later life isn’t about perfect alignment. It’s about walking side by side, even when the pace is uneven, and choosing every day to stay connected in new and meaningful ways.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you and your partner aging differently? Do you feel like you’re growing apart because of age? Share your story and join the conversation.

Do mother and daughter still get along?