Why does New Year’s Eve evoke such strong feelings in people? It was the best of times, it was the worst of times – thanks for the insight, Charles Dickens. The real question is: how do I bulletproof myself either way?

I’m all about turning annoying situations into amazing experiences. New Year’s Eve is at the top of that list. The societal importance attached to this evening makes it annoying, while I want amazing.

Follow my 30-minute formula to set yourself up for happiness, success, and peace on the most overrated night of the year.

Don’t Try (1 Minute)

The adage holds true. The harder you try, the harder you fall. So, don’t try. At our age, what will be, will be. Take it as it comes. Whatever happens, New Year’s Eve does not define you, the year ahead, your relationships, or your life’s significance.

If you are alone, revel in it. At a small party? Talk to everyone. And if you’re somewhere in-between, don’t sweat it. Just breathe in and out each moment and be thankful when your head hits the pillow to go to sleep.

Wear One Amazing Thing (2 Minutes)

Wear one amazing thing at New Year’s Eve. It could be a statement necklace, sexy underwear, outrageous shoes, or your itsy-bitsy polka-dotted bikini. For me, it’s my Heidi Daus necklace with my pajamas. There is only one rule: You must love it. If other people notice, that’s nice. If they don’t, so what?

This is not what-you-should-do kind of advice, nor am I trying to make you wear that expensive pair of pants that never fit right.

This is all about the item you look at lovingly and yet it stays in its wrapper. The item that makes you sigh and say, “Someday.” Today is that day. Your happiness is that special occasion, especially at home in your pajamas. The litmus test? It must make you radiate.

Make Amends (5 minutes)

Amends is another word that elicits a strong response. In 12-step programs it falls at the ominous ninth step which changes everything. The concept behind amends is owning up to your responsibility, right or wrong, and saying you are sorry.

I should note that this does not have to be a direct amends. If you stole something, make an anonymous donation on-line to a charity. You can sign-up to volunteer in honor of someone if they are no longer with us.

Or, you can write a letter and burn it. You can send a text or an email and say: “Sorry for anything I did to hurt you in the past and Happy New Year.” Just let go of a remorse that has stayed with you by setting it right.

Have a Plan for New Year’s Day (2 Minutes)

While it’s always fun to ‘wing it’ and see where the moment takes you, bulletproofing needs a plan. A simple plan works best: get out of the house for a cup of coffee, go to the gym, take a walk, binge watch a Netflix series. Having one item accomplished sets a tone. I said it, I did it.

Choose One Achievable Resolution (3 minutes)

Don’t panic about having a New Year’s resolution – you can steal mine and drink more! I’ve used it for about 10 years now, and it’s like a magic charm. I didn’t specify wine, vodka, or water. And you know what? Either way I can do it. Mischief managed, I set myself up for success.

Pen the State of You (7 Minutes)

Take seven minutes – it’s helpful to use a timer to track yourself – and write down your hopes, dreams, and fears. You’ll be surprised when you start repeating yourself at the four-minute mark.

Do it anyway. Use it as a baseline for the year ahead – to remember where you started and to get rid of the noise in your head.

Tackle One Item on Your to Do List (10 Minutes)

The dreaded to do list we write each year consists of nothing more than the things we need to write down because we hate doing them so much we choose to forget them.

Just do one. The hack is that when you do it, it loses its power and stops zapping your time. Write that thank you note, clean your sock draw, put your bills on auto-pay, just take the action and stop thinking about it.

What’s Next?

This entire list can be done in 30 minutes. Start the new year with a plan, clear mind and promises you have already kept.

Love and joy for the New Year and all year long.

What is the amazing thing you will wear on New Year’s Eve, and will it include pajamas? What is your achievable resolution? How much time did it take you to complete these 7 action items? Please share in the comments below!

Mindfulness pushes our hearts to get involved in all our interactions. We often have a difference of opinion with friends and loved ones, but when so many children and adults are hurting, it is time to search for answers.

Technology brings communication closer, but as human beings, we seem to be emotionally depleted. Our physical world is smaller, but we know little about the inner world of others.

Make Mindfulness a Habit of the Heart

Maybe the quick jokes or heartfelt quotes on Facebook have a different and deeper meaning. Maybe our simple comment about the weather, or what we are planning for dinner, is actually an attention getter.

So much is freely spoken, yet so little is brought up for review or reflection. Is it our fear of the truth, which keeps us at a distance?

We want to be happy, of course, and everyone agrees to that statement. What we bicker about is how to get to that state and maintain it. The small comfort of praise, along with a dose of attention from coworkers or friends, lightens the heart the fastest.

Problems Bring Us Down

If life is handing us lemons, then our state of bliss begins to fall away, one piece at a time – unless others make an effort to support us. We downplay hurts or turn them into jokes.

I wonder if technology serves to cover our deeper feelings of loneliness and despair. We are all so close, yet so distant from others. We don’t have the time to give one-on-one visits to people.

Usually, we include a group in our correspondences, which may work on good days, but not during an unhappy time. Holidays are those times of the year when we must think about and include others. Mindfulness is crucial.

Older adults have much on their minds, along with memories and life disappointments. Health matters plague them, and they may not feel wanted. They want to be included like everyone else, but we miss the in-depth knowledge if we don’t cultivate some mindfulness towards them.

There is no shortcut to understanding the needs of another. Some elders make their own festivities by inviting a group of friends, or one or two.

We are very complicated, unique beings, even though we may laugh at the same jokes and have similar life experiences. Each of us faces a variety of challenges, along with a variety of attitudes towards problems. We view problems with a different lens and arrive at alternate conclusions. It leaves us in disarray.

We suffer through loneliness and or insecurities. But at any age, we can believe we are not enough even though we always are. Don’t sabotage your self. There are too many people out there who really need you.

Share Pain and Fear

There are few of us who want to share our faults or fears with others. We don’t get likes or praise on Facebook from deficiencies. If you apply for a job, and add qualities you lack, you won’t get the job. It makes us feel good when we are around others, but when we are alone, we struggle.

Older people, especially, feel lonely and sometimes worthless because they can’t accomplish tasks they used to be able to do. I know this can lead to anger and despair. That is the time we might need a real live person, who will listen, while we complain.

We judge our abilities against others too much. These other people are most likely embellishing the truth about who they really are. They downplay their faults, as much as we do. If we care about our friends, we must take notice of the meaning between the words they say.

There are no guarantees in life, but the more we stay emotionally connected to others, the more we keep the senses alive. A quick verbal interaction won’t tell the emotional story.

What the Heart Needs Is Love

The world is difficult to navigate but friends and family make it easier. The human touch or voice keeps us connected to others. We want the physical touch, as well as to see the human face and hear the voice in all of its emotional tones.

We can do so much with a kind word, smile, or hug than all the printed papers in the world. What power the human body and mind have when they choose to activate!

It is easy to get disconnected from others when one feels alone and unworthy. It’s time to wake up, see the pain beneath the surface, and reach out to family and friends.

For me, a great person who, perhaps, will never receive any praise for their actions, is the one who sees through my pain, and my shortcomings, and loves me regardless of my insecurities.

Whenever we take that kind of time and give it to another, we have given a priceless gift of love. Empathy should be taught at home, be reinforced at school, and applied consistently.

Don’t ever underestimate your value. There are people in our lives, who would be devastated and lonely without us. Others depend on our love, as we do theirs. Be watchful for the pain others attempt to hide and use your senses to guide you. Respond with empathy.

We can’t forget how to be a friend or how much it means to express our mindfulness of others. I know hospitals and schools love to have older people get involved with reading or talking to kids because so many children don’t have or see grandparents.

Life is not always helping those we want to help but helping those in need within our reach. Be mindful of those who need you.

What does mindfulness mean to you? Do you attempt to practice it in your relationships? What have you noticed as result of your mindfulness? Please share your stories in the comments below.

As we know after all these years, it’s challenging to maintain a commitment to change. And it gets worse as we age. Younger adults achieve their goals to readapt at a percentage twice as high as those over 60. This is true with New Year’s resolutions as well.

We could rephrase ‘Live and Learn’ to ‘Conscious but Change Avoidant.’ It’s not just me and you. It’s not even just older folks. Avoidance to transform is statistically startling. Overall, 90% of resolutions aren’t kept. Even that may be an optimistic figure.

More shockingly, studies indicate that 25% of all fresh resolves don’t make it a week. Clearly, that dismal record is why so many authors, bloggers and self-help instructors take time to help us discover new avenues. They seek unique roadmaps that might lead us down the path we claim we want to travel.

Rewarding yourself is not always the ‘no brainer’ it seems to be. One tactic we don’t concentrate enough energy on is reward – not reward for success, but reward for our effort. We are looking for progress, not perfection. Our determination itself deserves recognition, even if it lastly briefly.

What Do We Get from Keeping a Resolution?

There’s the bigger question as well. What do we get for keeping a resolution? Satisfaction? Less weight? Greater knowledge? Less TV? Improved strength? Healthier diet? Better use of time? More friends? Better self-esteem? Maybe.

Often, deep down we aren’t truly motivated by the end goals we assert in our resolutions. Secretly, we might even develop conscious or unconscious ways and reasons for sabotaging ourselves.

All this can become very complicated and in need of greater self-examination or professional guidance if one wishes to pursue it.

One Step at a Time

Less complicated is an on-going scheme of rewards – big or small – just for making some effort. What’s great about this method is that no one needs to know how tiny your baby-step effort is.

The thinner you can slice the efforts to earn rewards, the greater your chances are of success and enjoyment. Again, the aim is progress not perfection. If we agree that our aim is simply to try, then after the smallest exertion we have already progressed to some degree.

In the meantime, we have enjoyed a slice of life. Especially so if we choose rewards that are personally pleasurable – and neither contrary to our goals, nor based on someone else’s ideas of success and reward.

Here Are Some Reward Examples

1. Call a friend long-distance and chat over a cuppa.
2. Plan a trip (just the planning is fun – the date can be TBA).
3. Treat yourself to a ‘Maid for the Day.’
4. Get your car washed.
5. Give yourself a couple hours at the library, browsing whatever strikes your fancy: books, art and magazines. Whatever. Just people-watching there can be fun.
6. Take an extra-long nap.
7. Get together with a friend and a joke book.
8. Go bird watching (whether you can name one bird).
9. Go on a games picnic – board games instead of food. If weather is not permitting, plan a last-minute game party at a friendly coffee shop where no one must ‘host.’
10. Refurbish that ‘whatzamajigger’ item in the garage or attic or make a trip to the Salvation Army with it.
11. Buy a piece of desired new software.
12. Visit a comedy club.
13. Light a fire in the fireplace.
14. Hire a chimney sweep, so you can safely enjoy that old fireplace if it’s just sitting there unloved. (Hint: You could sneak this onto both the ‘to-do’ and reward list stimulatingly.)
15. Take a ride on a swing.
16. Go fishing.
17. Create a personal mandala.
18. Move the furniture in your home to a new position – just for a change of view.
19. Take a drive on a road you have seen but never taken – the road less traveled.
20. Treat yourself to a guilt-free hour of watching YouTube videos – just watch out that you don’t get addicted.

These rewards can be luxurious in time, money or sensation. You can adjust them to meet your pocketbook and the level of ‘effort’ you feel you have made. If you are reluctant to admit progress, let it be the reward you would offer a friend if they did the same thing.

And if you have put a resolution on your 2021 timetable – or prematurely put it to bed, more likely – consider penciling in some periodic prizes to encourage you onward.

If you resist making resolutions due to common failure rates, perhaps label a desired change with a more innocuous or contemporary sounding name. Maybe use ‘gold star’ points or ‘BSB’ (baby-step bonus) points instead. ‘Resolution’ can seem so daunting.

Still, no matter what the lingo, get the rewards in your datebook – a real date on your calendar – to enjoy yourself as deserved. The best thing about the baby-step bonuses is that you can’t lose.

With the right list, if nothing else, you are making extra time to enjoy life. And if it is something ‘more’… well, then you may get further ahead with changes than with your usual approach.

Either way, you win something. It may be like an honorable mention award for good attendance in second grade. Not a big deal, but I bet most people don’t throw that away. It’s acknowledging an effort.

I’d love to hear small rewards others have developed. Got a good one? Remember, it need not be big. And ‘inexpensive’ is an added benefit. Others may enjoy the same things as you but may not have considered the engaging power of certain activities. For now, here’s wishing you a baby-step in February.

What small rewards have you given yourself for making progress with your New Year’s resolutions? Have you been able to keep a resolution? Please share your tips and insights below.

Have you ever sewn yourself a garment? I’m sure that you at least know the basics of sewing. It was only in recent years that sewing (“home economics”) was no longer taught in public school. Sadly, this seems like a dead art, but one that is slowly being resurrected.

Thanks to the explosion of the Internet, and sites like YouTube, many are relearning this trade. Some set out to simply hem their own pants. Others truly want to learn every single meticulous trick in the book.

Let me share briefly my personal experience… and give you some tips if you want to learn how to sew or revisit this as a new hobby.

A Passion Rekindled

I was about 16 years old and my mother purchased a used sewing machine for me. I had learned the basics in junior high, although my attempt at making a pillow the first time was awful. My mother barely knew how to sew on a button, so she hired a retired tailor to teach me the basics.

He came to my home and taught me for a short time until I was comfortable with my machine. I later went to study fashion design and took clothing construction courses. However, I was still not good at all.

I think there are some people who are naturals at sewing, but mostly it just takes a lot and LOT of practice to get it mastered.

Years passed and I did not sew often as I was a young, busy mother for most of my 20s and early 30s. When I was 31, I was suddenly diagnosed with cancer (lymphoma). My kids were 9 and 2 at the time.

After finishing the treatment, I really did some soul searching and decided I wanted to go back to my passions. So I started offering custom children’s clothing online and locally – a lot of fun.

I was also using my vintage sewing patterns that had been given to me years ago and experimenting with different eras of sewing. Shortly after though, the cancer came back, and I was forced to take it easy while I was getting much harsher treatment.

I would always return to sewing for an escape. It really helped me get through some of the darkest times of my cancer battle and the PTSD that followed.

In 2019, I decided to take a break from sewing for others. I was beginning to get burnt out from sewing for money and missed the joy of creating my own pieces!

I broke out the boxes of beautiful vintage patterns, and before long I had made myself a closet full of gorgeous, well-fitted garments tailored to my own liking and fit.

In fact, I haven’t stopped sewing pieces for myself since. I do sew for others again, but not without a treat to myself!

How to Start Sewing or Pick It Back Up

If you want to start or restart sewing, you’ll need a few things:

• a sewing machine (used or new, but no need to splurge)
• sewing kit that includes pin cushion, tape measure, straight pins, and seam ripper
• decent quality fabric shears
• a comfortable place to sew with good lighting (does not need to be a sewing desk)
• thread scissors
• place to cut fabrics
• iron and iron board
• colored pencil or tailor’s pen/chalk
• clear grid marked ruler

Optional but helpful items:

• cutting table with gridboard
• serger
• organizational cubes to store patterns or fabric

Now that you have your supplies, you will need a teacher. You can go on YouTube and look up various sewing tutorials. You could also get a book and teach yourself. I would advise doing what you are most comfortable with.

If possible, you could hire a sewing instructor or go to a local sewing center to inquire for classes. If you remember the basics, you could start with a pattern purchased from your local dealer.

Simple Beginner’s Projects

Do not overwhelm yourself by picking a difficult first project! I would advise a simple skirt (such as an A-Line or circle), an apron, or a home decor item like a pillow or decorative towel.

Once you achieve success with a few easy projects, add in some intermediate level ones. If you follow the steps and are patient, you will be pleased with your work!

Tips to Remember When Starting Out

I will leave you with a few necessary steps in sewing ANY piece.

Always:

• backstitch at beginning and end of stitch (this secures the seam)
• press (iron) neatly your seams as you go!
• finish your seams step by step (serging, or zig zagging, or other techniques) for beautiful garments inside
• sew darts first
• for fabrics that may stretch, stay stitch the neckline and waist areas by simply sewing a seam near the edges
• follow the seam allowance on patterns. It is almost always a half-inch or five-eights of an inch. You can also mark the seam by using a clear ruler with a grid and a colored pencil or tailor’s pen.

Never:

• NEVER, EVER use your fabric shears for paper!
• Do not use cheap or cotton thread for sewing apparel. I advise only 100% Polyester thread.
• When first starting out, do not attempt stretchy knit fabrics such as jersey or 2-way stretch fabrics.
• Use woven cotton, such as quilting cotton for the first few projects. You can get these on sale at Jo-ann year wide, or even find them at garage sales super cheap!

I Hope That You Are Inspired to Sew!

If you decide this journey is for you, have a lot of fun and enjoy the process.

My final word of advice is, BE PATIENT. Please take your time and the results will speak for themselves.

If you want to view more of my sewing projects, feel free to check out cherrishmarievintage (facebook) or view my current shop here.

What sewing projects have you done in the past? Are you working on one right now? Do you have any sewing questions? Is there a certain pattern or project that you have always wanted to make but haven’t?

Thanks to Los Angeles’ salon closures and stay-at-home orders, I haven’t gotten highlights in months. That’s probably why I’m loving Bella Hadid’s new hair that feels like both a current look and a throwback style at the same time. When I saw Hadid’s orange highlights photos, I was pretty surprised since the model usually keeps it pretty simple. She was spotted on the streets of New York with her hair pulled back so the chunky highlights were on full display.

It’s a bit hard to see her new hair color in these street style photos, but she also showed off the hue on Instagram in a series of photos in which she’s licking show, shot by Renell Medrano. Her hair looks much more ginger there, making it seem like more than just highlights. It’s very possible these are two different hair colors. Her chunky Christmas highlights could be different from this strawberry blonde wig. Either way, she’s definitely feeling red hair this season.

Jose Perez/Bauergriffin.com/ MEGA.

Friends and fans are obsessed with the new hue, calling her ginger with “Jessica Rabbit vibes.”

Source: Instagram

After years of highlight trends going more and more natural-looking, it seems we’re heading back to the early-2000s’ heavy, high-contrast color. It’s likely we’ll see this on younger celebrities who were too young to love Jessica Simpson’s popular chunky highlights in 2005. (Bella Hadid was born in 1996.)

Since I was a teenager during that time, I’ll probably tread lightly into the throwback trend without going as drastic as Hadid. Money pieces and overall more contrast is a nice change as we head into 2021.