Our five-year-old grandson recently asked my husband and me, “Will we always be together?”

I was stunned that such a small child would ask such a profound question. I’m not sure that he understood the depth of the question, until I realized that it was one of those stream of consciousness thoughts sandwiched in between, “How much longer before the movie starts” and “Does anyone have a snack because I’m hungry.”

But it did get me thinking. We will not always be together. Our grandkids are young, and they have their whole lives ahead of them. I, on the other hand, have more days behind me than in front of me.

What words of wisdom can I give this younger generation, my grandchildren? What life lessons can I tell them that will make their lives happier, more meaningful and more purposeful?

I would like to share with you my thoughts.

Live Life on Your Own Terms

Each of us has special gifts and talents, so embrace everything that is unique about you. As you grow up, you will come to know these talents and you will develop passions – a life purpose and goals that you want to accomplish.

If you want to be a painter, then paint. If you want to be a teacher, then teach. And if you want to be an entrepreneur, then do that. Decide what is important to you and do it.

Whatever You Do – Throw Your Heart Into It

Whatever you decide to do, it is important that you put your whole self into it. Don’t hold back on love, relationships, work and involvement in your community or avocations. Give it your all.

Take the brakes off and embrace your life and all that you do. You will find that it makes life so much more fun and you will get so much more out of it.

No Matter What Happens to You – Take Responsibility for It

Even if it wasn’t your fault. Especially if it wasn’t your fault, take responsibility for fixing it. Life has a way of bringing all of us a great deal of happiness, but it also has a way of hurting us.

No matter what has happened, it is up to you to resolve it. It is up to you to envision what should occur next and to put a plan in place to make it happen.

If you take responsibility and control you will imagine new possibilities and design something that you do want for yourself. You will take yourself out of the past and move yourself to a better place. This will make a profound difference in your life. You will be happier with your opportunities, your support systems and your environment.

Be a Lifelong Learner

Always be open to learning new things. Be curious about the people, the experiences, the events and discoveries taking place in the present as well as those things that we can learn from the past. Decide to continually understand the world around you and expand your thinking and ways of doing things.

Take classes, attend lectures, read books, hang out with others who are interested in what you are. Be engaged. You will find that your life is more interesting, you will have greater opportunities and… you will never ever be bored.

There Are Beautiful People Everywhere

I have moved many times in my life to different places. There was always a sense of sadness when I left the familiar and replaced it with the unfamiliar. It was hard saying goodbye to friends, acquaintances and support systems. It was challenging to start fresh and to meet new people.

I have learned that there are amazing people everywhere you go. People who will inspire you and with whom you will develop a close friendship. You will find people who you will love and who will love you. There are wonderful people no matter where you go. And when you develop a friendship with them, it will feel like you have always known them.

There will be some people who will take some time to get to know, and others that you will be good friends with right from the start.

Always be open to what can happen and you will find them.

Feelings Are Mutual

Someone starts to like you at the same exact moment in time that you start liking them.

A relationship is emotional and the feeling starts with you. It is uncanny. Something happens when you like someone. You lean into them, and you listen to them and care about them. You give the relationship energy and spirit.

I find that the moment when I warm to someone, the feeling is returned. The relationship may develop into a strong friendship or remain an acquaintance, but the feelings of mutual affection and respect will be there.

By the way, the opposite is true. Someone starts to dislike you the moment you start to lose patience with them or to lose interest in them. The whole vibration of the relationship changes and things get strained.

So, don’t wait for someone else to make the first move. If you like someone, be engaged, show that you are interested and stay open to wherever the relationship brings you.

Expect the Best

Say yes to life and be open to new experiences. You may not always get what you want, but you will generally get what you expect.

Laugh Often

Have a great sense of humor. Laughing has a healing effect on you both mentally and physically. We create so many of our problems by taking it all too seriously. Move through this life lightly, take care of yourself, create the life that you treasure – and laugh.

Don’t Forget Your Connection to All of Nature

There is a force, an energy that we all share, and it is the power that connects us all to each other. It is the source that we all came from and it is the energy that we will all return to. Don’t ever forget that you are part of something spiritual and eternal.

Make the World a Better Place

There is so much prejudice, criticism and judgment in this world. Never do anything to add to this negativity. Use your natural gifts and talents to make the world a better place.

It is really a beautiful life – live it!

As Neil Postman wrote, “Children are the living messages we send to a time we do not see.”

What are the messages you would want to remind your grandchildren of? What lessons would you want to share with them? Which are the words of wisdom you would like to share with the future generations? Please join the conversation.

Lately, I have become acutely sensitive to the amount of time we spend talking about money in our everyday life.

“I love your sweater.”

“Oh thank you. I got it on sale for $19, can you believe it? It cost $149.00 originally.”

“Well, this skirt I’m wearing was $5 at the Labor Day sale.”

And they’re off!

How many times a day do you say, “I can’t afford it.”

How often have you asked someone, or wondered, “Are you taking social security at 65 or 70?”

Or said to a friend, “I wonder how they can afford to take so many cruises…”

Money Talk Slips in Everywhere; It Is Insidious

Look at how many articles on Sixty and Me focus on retirement finances, money issues, fear of running out of money, how to earn money when you’re over 60, how to live more cheaply.

My millionaire series of articles, which began with How to Feel Like A Millionaire, is about adopting the attitude of abundance and generosity, of finding pleasures in your life that are not related to monetary expenditures or outcomes. Living a quality lifestyle doesn’t require a fortune. Good taste, attitude and joy are priceless.

So, I tried something last month. I modeled the behavior of a very wealthy friend of mine who has beautiful values. I decided to banish the topic of money from my daily conversation.

It was a revelation. I felt so relaxed, so free. I felt great peace because I wasn’t constantly measuring myself or my finances. Actually, I “just” lived, enjoyed, shared, created, thought, participated. I felt rich in all ways. It was a priceless feeling.

So here are my thoughts about not talking about money.

Talking About Money Only Makes You Feel Better or Worse

Talking about money doesn’t make you any richer or poorer, rather, it makes you feel better or worse. So why even go there?

We’ve been talking about money all our lives. Comparing how much you’re earning and saving to someone else. Taxes, healthcare, college education, retirement savings. Now that we’re retired we’re talking about how long our money will last, how much is our social security check, where to get the cheapest airfare, what states have the lowest tax rate.

My attitude is: It is what it is. You have what you have and it will have to do. Or, you will have to figure out a way to get more. But either way, why have it become the prime topic in our daily conversations?

There Will Always Be People Who Have More Money Than I

There will always be people who have more money than I and people who have less money than I do. We always want to see “how we’re doing,” where we fall on the continuum.

Talking about money brings nothing to the conversation. It elevates no one in any way. You either feel richer or smarter, or stupider or poorer and nothing has changed as a result of the conversation.

There Are More Interesting Things to Talk About Than Money

Like… the soul, art, culture, music, a book, current events, family problems. Money is finite but your soul is limitless, your heart is expandable, your mind can travel galaxies. Feel rich and talk about politics, ecology, global warming, human trafficking, sexual assault, education, theatre, film, poetry. Or feel rich with culture. Feel rich with involvement. Feel rich with pleasure.

There Is a Time to Talk About Money

And that’s when you sit down with your banker or financial advisor, spouse, partner or close friend. That’s money talk time. A dedicated financial, business conversation.

Even Millionaires Worry about Money

Yes, even they feel they don’t have enough, worry about becoming a bag lady. They like bargains and saving money just like everyone else. You are never immune from worrying about money.

Not Talking About Money Makes You Feel Peaceful

Try it and see!

You Have Survived This Long, So Far

You’ve made it through the hardest years of your life. Isn’t it time to stop the struggle? You have what you have and, guess what, it will be enough! So far, you have made it with what you’ve had. You are a survivor.

I’m anticipating some backlash about this article, because people who don’t have as much as they’d like, or need, are obsessed with how they’re going to make it. Please do share your experiences about NOT talking about money. What are your favorite “replacement” topics of conversation? Give them a try!

Kristin Cavallari’s Houndstooth Blazer on Instagram

Kristin Cavallari Instagram Fashion

Kristin Cavallari’s houndstooth blazer is a bit of a contrast from her sexy crop top worn while dancing with the Southern Charm boys, like everything else, it works for her. And while it might not be available in her exact color, there’s another similar version that’s also perfect for making your ex jealous the holidays.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to See her L’Agence Kenzie Blazer

Click Here to Shop it in Brown

Originally posted at: Kristin Cavallari’s Houndstooth Blazer

For some reason, bangs are always a bit controversial. Curtain bangs are no different. Some love them and some aren’t feeling them and others think people are calling long layers bangs when they’re really just a layer. Bur regardless, Ashley Benson does have new curtain bangs are they look great on her. The actress shared a video of her on set wearing a wavy bob wig and apparently, it inspired her to make a real change.

Not only did Benson get curtain bangs, but she also went shorter allover and much lighter. “The focal point of this look is the cut and color combo,” her hairstylist Joseph Maine said in a statement. “I love how the platinum color really compliments her skin and the dark root gives her a lot of depth, making her light blonde pop. The depth in her root also goes with her eyebrows and makes her eyes stand out. For the style, I wanted it to look effortless and just slightly tousled.”

Instagram.com/ashleybenson.

“I love working with Ashley because we get to try so many different looks,” the Trademark Beauty co-founder said. “She’s always up for new things. This is our first time really playing with her hair since Paris Fashion Week in March where we did eight different looks. It was fun to try something new today! While this is a wig that she’s currently rocking, we were so inspired by it that we ended up chopping her real hair super short too. It’s pretty drastic!”

Source: Instagram

Benson’s new bangs will take a little styling work to get used to but they’re very versatile. She can wear them straight forward, blown-out in a cool ’70s way or even just tuck them into the rest of her hair when she’s not feeling then. They’ll also grow out easily right into her chic bob. We love them and hope she keeps them around for a while—until she switches it up again.

With Covid-19, we are drowning in statistics. Every day, I see the number of new cases, the number of hospitalisations, the number of deaths. For my country and the rest of the world.

They are overwhelming, and it is hard to take them all in.

At the same time, there are plenty of human stories. The deaths of husbands and wives within days of each other. The deaths of one without being able to see the other. The very tired and over-worked health care workers and others.

All of these are powerful and moving stories.

But there is one kind of story that I simply have not seen told at all. Perhaps it is there, and I have missed it. It is also very painful ­– perhaps too painful to write about.

This concerns the people who are left behind feeling enormously guilty because they may have contributed to the death of their loved one.

The Human Psyche

I am not a psychologist of any kind, but I look around me, and I know that human beings are very prone to a sense of guilt.

Your husband is unhappy – is it your fault? Your child is confused and distressed – did you contribute to this situation in any way? Your mother feels neglected – is this down to you?

Especially women. We do guilt very easily. I don’t know why.

Now, we know we tend to feel mildly guilty if we accidentally gave a friend a cold, because we talked to them longer than was necessary when we met by chance.

And we feel very guilty if our actions contributed to another person’s problems ­– allowing them to drink and drive, for instance, when we should have urged them not to have that third or fourth glass of wine.

But surely, we must feel very guilty indeed if we accidentally passed on Covid-19, because we thought we were disease free when we weren’t. That is the Big one.

Covid-19 Is Guilt Waiting to Happen

There are so many ways that anyone with an ounce of sensitivity could begin to feel guilty these days. Covid-19 is passed from one person to another so easily, we must often be part of a possible chain.

Sometimes there are things we did – imagining somehow that it was safe – that look downright thoughtless in retrospect.

Did we need to make that Thanksgiving journey? Should we have gone to that large engagement party?

Of course, in each case, we meant well – to see an aging father, living on his own, to congratulate the bride and groom. But that meant getting into crowds, and we know that that’s where the virus lurks.

But the worst of it is that the people we affect are very frequently the people we love the most. We hugged a grandchild and that led to illness in the family. We visited a sister-in-law, which passed it on to all of her family.

Why oh why, we think afterward, did we not stop and think?

My Personal Concerns

I personally have not, to date, contracted the virus nor has anyone in my family. But my concern about the potential guilt of those left behind has certainly coloured my decisions.

It is the small children I worry most about. What if either grandson were to visit us when unknowingly carrying the virus, i.e., with no symptoms, and accidentally infected me or my husband?

And what would they feel if we died? Of course, they would be devastated by that fact in any case, but to live the rest of their lives feeling that they had killed Granny or Granddad cannot bear thinking about.

This has certainly affected my views about a potential visit. I just can’t do that to them.

There was a campaign in the UK called ‘Don’t Kill Your Gran,” which some people thought was funny, but it is very serious indeed. Not only for Gran but for the person who did so.

It cannot be much better for people of any age. Yet it must have happened many times over.

Of course, I am concerned for the health care workers feeling over-strained. Of course, I feel for all the people who died over the past nine months or so. But stop a second and think of all those left behind, wishing they had taken a different course on one particular day.

Have you seen grandchildren and other family during the various lockdowns this year? How has fear of potential guilt affected your decisions to see grandchildren or others? Do you have members of your family who feel guilty? What do you say to them? Please share your thoughts below.