As the winter of 2020 turned to spring, the death toll from Covid-19 seemed insurmountable. For funeral directors, it was the darkest and most challenging time we’ve ever faced. In an industry built on personal contact and a deep sense of tradition, we could count on neither.

“The idea of not being able to do what we were trained to do was the biggest disappointment, the biggest shock through all this. We could not in any way, shape, or form, operate as we’ve been doing with such immediate and harsh changes,” said Pasquale “Pat” Megaro, who owns Megaro Memorial Home in Belleville, New Jersey.

Now, though, we face a different challenge – how to transition to funerals in a world that is reopening but still not out of danger.

The Current Situation

Depending on state and county regulations, and each state’s recovery phase, funeral homes are able to offer the rites and rituals that were absent during the pandemic. Still, they have to do what they can to keep visitors, and staff, safe.

In late May, John Herzig, the president of Toland-Herzig Funeral Home in Dover, Ohio, started to prepare for that return to normalcy.

“We had the barriers installed in our reception areas and began making plans for new ways of serving food (no buffet style) and as far as the funeral home is concerned, we began addressing changes we needed to make for the safety of our families, visitors, and staff,” he explained.

That preparation paid off. The funeral home was ready when, on June 11, it had it first open-to-the-public funeral since March. The deceased was a member of the local Catholic Church, and her family had made the request.

With social distancing markers on the floors, and hand sanitizers available throughout the building, visitors were encouraged to wear face masks. The funeral home provided them for those who did not have one.

“With all things considered, everything went very smoothly,” said Herzig.

The New Normal

As much as people may hunger for tradition after such an unprecedented situation, the reality is that the post-pandemic funeral is not going to look like the funeral of the past, at least not for a while.

With social distancing still in force, the human contact that has been the comforting hallmark of funeral service is perhaps the biggest casualty of what has become the new normal.

“It truly has been difficult for families who could not get the love and support needed during their loss. Some are planning to celebrate those lives in the future, but it is too soon to know how many will plan something now that things are starting to get back to normal,” said Herzig. 

Funeral directors, too, feel constrained in how we have had to deal with our client families.

“This isn’t what we were intending to do from the beginning, dealing with people over the phone and through the computer, and not having that personal touch,” said Megaro, who, like many other funeral directors, rues not having the freedom to comfort a mourner with a hug.

As New Jersey entered phase two, allowing funeral homes to up the number of visitors from 10 to 25% of a chapel’s maximum capacity, Megaro was also able, for the first time in months, to offer a grieving family the ability to have a full visitation.

The rules had fortuitously changed the night before he was to meet with the family to make arrangements. He was also glad to let them know that 20 people would be permitted at the entombment.

That day marked a turning point for Megaro, who’d struggled with the severe, and sometimes questionable, limitations placed upon funeral homes.

Being the intermediary and having to explain the “harsh and hard rules and regulations” to families about what could and couldn’t be done had been wearing on him.

Embracing Innovations

Danny Jefferson, location leader at Pierce–Jefferson Funeral Home & Cremation Services in Kernersville, North Carolina, has been especially innovative.

In both his funeral home locations, Jefferson is offering families the option of either a drive-through or walk-through visitation, followed by either a chapel or graveside service.

“Most are opting for the graveside service so that they can have more people,” said Jefferson.

With up to 25 people now allowed to gather in the reposing room at one time, walk-through funerals have become a popular option.

“Our staff encourages people to continue to keep walking,” said Jefferson. Calling, or emailing the family at a later time, and leaving online condolences on the funeral home’s website are other suggestions to help keep the line moving smoothly.

Jefferson came up with the idea for a drive-through visitation when in April, at the height of the pandemic, a well-known local volunteer firefighter died, and the funeral director sought a safe way for the community to pay their respects.

The casket was placed on the funeral home’s front porch, with a table in front containing memorabilia. As well as being functional, “the table creates a safe barrier for anyone who would want to get out of a car and walk up to the family,” he noted.

For an hour, scores of locals drove under the building’s portico to say good-bye. Many of those were people who would not ordinarily be able to attend, including a 92-year-old man who was out of quarantine for the first time.

Lessons Learned

Funeral service has been upended in a way we could never have imagined, and as we move forward as an industry, we wonder what, if any, the long lasting repercussions might be.

“We’ve been shown how simple things can be. But you still need that attentiveness whether for a simple funeral or for an elaborate one. You have to put the time and effort into it,” said Megaro.

And while some may look at funerals in a different way, he believes that most are “going to cherish and really embrace getting back to the typical wake, funeral services, and Masses.”

Concerns about health and safety, too, have taken on a renewed importance.

“I think the pandemic has made us focus on the importance of safety and to make sure we do everything in our power to make our families, visitors, and staff safer,” said Herzig, adding that the pandemic “has caused everyone in every business and profession to never take things for granted.”

In an article Jefferson wrote for the June issue of American Funeral Director, a widely-read industry trade magazine, he characterized the pandemic as a tipping point for funeral service. After seeing what the absence of ritual has done emotionally and spiritually to the bereaved, he believes funeral directors should “reinvent our profession.”

Jefferson emphasized: “What Covid is teaching us is that people still want ceremony. They still want others involved. They still want a time and a place that they can share.”

Was there a funeral service you wanted to attend during lockdown but were unable because of the restrictions? How did that affect you? How were funeral services organized in your area at the peak of the pandemic? Please share with our community.

As an only child who grew up with a quiet and introverted mother and a father who worked very long hours, there wasn’t a great deal of meaningful conversation in my household. In fact, being raised on TV dinners made the meals go even more quickly.

My mother rarely initiated conversation, shared her feelings, or wanted to discuss the goings-on in the news, and when she did, she often made negative comments.

Wrong Setting Early On

Having dinner was basically just a time to eat and then get back to whatever we were each doing beforehand. Typically, I’d retreat to my room to read or write in my journal, and my mother would go to the small guest room beside the kitchen and sit on the leather sofa.

There was not one particular place where we congregated to watch TV. There was a small television in the living room, but the screen was so small that really only one person could sit in front of it at a time.

Plus, our sofas were S-shaped, so everybody was turned away from one another while sitting – hardly conducive to communing.

That pretty much summed up my childhood, which is probably why I became a writer: I needed a forum for self-expression. My father was a little more vocal, but he worked long hours in the retail industry and rarely had dinner with us. My conversations with my mother tended to be more superficial in nature.

Over the years, I came to understand that she was often in a depressive state, which is why she slept late, and why, for most of childhood, I was left to my own devices. The only time her mood ever really shifted was when she was about to leave the house to go ride her horse at a ranch about an hour away.

A Different Kind of Mealtime

I had a small family, with just a few cousins whom I rarely saw. It was only when I met my husband at the age of 18, and stayed with his family, when I realized that people actually sat down for meals and talked about all sorts of things.

For me, this was illuminating, but at the same time, I felt mute. When I was asked a question or my opinion about something, I was only able to respond with a couple of words.

I just wasn’t practiced in, or comfortable with, the art of conversation. But I have to say, I was always a great listener, and going to nursing school definitely helped me hone my communication skills.

My Turnaround

Eventually, it all worked out the way it was supposed to. I became a writer, and this served me well. I’ve also become a good conversationalist; thus, my life passion has been to help others communicate in their chosen form.

I’m still not completely spontaneous (verbally) in most group situations, as I’m often afraid that I’ll be misunderstood. My spoken words were not heard as a child, so I figured that the only way to have a voice was through my writing.

Now that I’m a grandparent, I see the value in communicating and storytelling. I even created Conversation Cards for Meaningful Storytelling, a card deck based on my book Writing for Bliss. The cards are a way to connect those of the same generation and also those at an intergenerational level.

The Grandmother Factor

The idea was inspired by a discussion I had with a college student who told me that she often asked her grandmother to tell her a story. “I have so many stories; I don’t know where to start,” her grandmother would say.

Grandparents, in particular, strongly influence their grandchildren, and the relationship is usually a unique one. I was very close with my grandparents and easily expressed myself with them. I never felt judged. I want my own grandchildren to feel the same way. I want them to freely give voice to their feelings and experiences.

We all learn by hearing one another talk, but most of my learning came from books. Being able to communicate is such a vital skill, and while it can be learned, it’s best if nurtured in one’s early years.

To communicate well means being understood. Communication also fosters empathy and understanding between people, which is vital for the entire human race. Conversations are what connects us as human beings. At so many levels, they nurture relationships.

We need to continue to have conversations and discussions with one another to maintain a sense of harmony and understanding. So, the next time you have a conversation with someone in your life, make sure that you choose your words wisely… and remember the power they have.

What is your conversation level? How well do you do in a social setting? Are you quiet or verbal? What is your best means of communication? Why do you think that is? Please share your thoughts with our community, and let’s have a conversation!

It’s happened over the years that I’ve gotten so obsessed with a lipstick that I’ve continued to purchase the same shade or tried new colors in the formula. But when I heard there’s a totally new creation from M.A.C., well, that’s pretty exciting. M.A.C. Powerglass Lip Gloss is just that—a fresh new plumping formula with a ton of sheer color. M.A.C. has had lip plumper before (the Plenty of Pout Plumping Lip Gloss) but this version is juicer, shinier and even more long-lasting.

“What separates this formula from any we’ve ever seen in the past is a proprietary tingling Sweet Sting Complex that increases stimulation to lips instantly,” Gregory Arlt, Director of Makeup Artistry, M.A.C. Cosmetics, tells StyleCaster. “It indeed plumps up the lips and feels more creamy and moisturizing than previous incarnations.”

Many lip plumpers dry out the lips but Powerglass feels like a mix of a gloss and a lip balm. It’s not as sticky as Lipglass. That’s thanks to the hyaluronic acid, avocado and coconut oils. And it does sting but not very much and not for very long. Powerglass contains a blend of ginger, capsicum and menthol crystals that increase stimulation and subtly plump lips. There are six non-boring colors that the brand says were inspired by comic book heroes. My favorite shade is Plump Up the Jam, a non-shimmery cherry red. I really love how the curved applicator hugs my lips during application. I’m also pleasantly surprised by how much color there is and how long it lasted even thorough a Dunkin’ Donuts iced tea.

Source: Instagram

Powerglass launches today but it’s not launching alone. M.A.C. doesn’t do anything small, does it? There are seven new travel-sized Fix+ setting sprays called Fix+ Vibes. Each has, well, a mood connected with it. They’re packed with vitamins, minerals, chamomile, cucumber and green tea and keep your makeup in place for up to 12 hours. Choose one depending on your mood that day, such as Calm or Passion. Each has a fruity and floral fragrance and TBH they just look cute in your makeup bag.

Shop both collections, below.

Image: M.A.C.

Powerglass Plumping Lip Gloss in Can’t Burst This Bubble

A milky pink.

Image: M.A.C.

Powerglass Plumping Lip Gloss in Comic Book Ending

A purple with multicolored sparkles.

Image: M.A.C.

Powerglass Plumping Lip Gloss in Gee, That’s Swell!

A neutral pink with gold pearl.

Image: M.A.C.

Powerglass Plumping Lip Gloss in Pleased As Punch

A bright pink.

Image: M.A.C.

Powerglass Plumping Lip Gloss in Plump Up the Jam

A cherry red.

Image: M.A.C.

Powerglass Plumping Lip Gloss in Seriously Stoked

A bright neon orange.

Image: M.A.C.

Fix+ Awaken

Infused with tea leaf and floral accords.

Image: M.A.C.

Fix+ Balance

Infused with peppermint and bergamot accords.

Image: M.A.C.

Fix+ Compassion

Infused with berry and rose accords.

Image: M.A.C.

Fix+ Passion

Infused with strawberry and peach accords.

Image: M.A.C.

Fix+ Play

Infused with lemon and orange accords.

Image: M.A.C.

Fix+ Calm

Infused with blueberry and jasmine accords.

Image: M.A.C.

Fix+ Vitality

Infused with apricot and tangerine accords.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.