The master plan called for selling the family home once the last kid was out of high school and off to college. We’d both be over 60 and ready for the next chapter.

You know the drill: buy a smaller place with fewer rooms to clean, less yard to keep, fewer things to go wrong. And think of all that extra money we’d have for traveling, a new car, simply enjoying life!

The more we planned the more our excitement grew. Netflix binges were soon abandoned for hours spent on Zillow and Redfin, searching for the perfect “forever home.”

Then my husband got cancer. Not just any cancer, mind you. The worst of the worst: pancreatic. I will save the awful details of that journey for a later time, but needless to say, the “master plan” required an overhaul by the time my daughter threw her mortarboard in the air that warm night in June.

Stuck

That was almost a year ago. I should have been getting the place ready to sell for at least six months before I finally buckled down and had it painted and refreshed, called the junk haulers (twice), and made what seemed like my 100^th trip to the veterans’ center to donate the beautiful suits and crisp white shirts my husband loved so dearly. (I kept the second-hand tuxedo he wore when we were married, though; moth holes and all.)

Finally, it was ready. Gleaming, in fact. Ready to be photographed and showcased like a supermodel. And yet, I couldn’t do it. I called the financial planner endlessly, just to be sure I couldn’t stay a little longer. He said I could, but did I really want to keep spending so much on a house that no longer fit?

He had a point. I will never go a day without missing my husband, but I was grateful to have gotten to a stage where I could look forward to the future again, and laugh, and yes, enjoy life. So, what was I waiting for?

New Chapter

I sold it. As it turns out, escrow closed in the nick of time. I moved out four days before the state of California (where I live) was put on lockdown, and my offer on a new, much smaller house had been accepted.

The first few weeks were rough. I missed my “real” home, the neighbors, the proximity to old friends. It didn’t help that I was spending virtually every minute in this unfamiliar prison because of a global health crisis.

I resolved to stay the minimum amount of time necessary to recoup my moving expenses and sell the joint.

My daughter’s world tightened, too. She was forced to move back home – all her college classes taught online for the foreseeable future, no friends to see, no parties to attend.

Miserable and unmotivated, we moved boxes stuffed with non-essential dishes and assorted housewares to the side rather than unpack them. At a certain point they became invisible, more like an art installation than a nuisance we simply walked around.

Unexpected

Little by little, it got better. I can’t pinpoint how or when it happened, but I can now say without reservation that I like, maybe even love, my new home.

It’s far from perfect, of course. I sit in my home office overlooking a raggedy “garden” literally dying for care. There has been no landscaper to the rescue, no handyman over to fix the jiggly door handles and the cranky stove.

No steady stream of friends dropping by to offer decorating tips and potted plants. Turns out impromptu barbecues thrown to meet the neighbors are frowned upon during a pandemic.

The funny thing is, my daughter and I are getting along better than ever. She’s a pretty cool kid, not to mention a great unpacker and organizer, two in-demand skills here at the new place.

Needless to say, the dogs are over the moon to have two humans around constantly. They never bicker or complain about toast crumbs on the counter or laundry left in the dryer – they’re the only ones praying the lockdown lasts forever.

As for me, I’ve attended a few virtual cocktail parties with my old friends and gotten to know my new neighbors through socially distanced chats. I’m writing again and staring at that raggedy garden, breaking from this post now and again to Google “Gardening for Dummies” or search for YouTube University videos on DIY plumbing. It actually looks kind of fun.

Maybe the dogs are onto something.

Have you downsized your home or life lately? What are you doing to keep your spirits up during the lockdown? Please join the conversation!

We are an interconnected world, as we’ve discovered more powerfully than ever through the pandemic, and if that interconnectedness sometimes brings unwanted offerings, such as the virus, it also brings treasures, like that of kindness.

Because of the pandemic, we are, for the most part, kinder to each other. Neighbors check in on neighbors to make sure everyone is all right. People offer to do errands for those who can’t leave their homes. Others share whatever paper goods they have with those who are lacking.

Yes, we observe social distancing out of self-preservation, but also out of respect for one another, out of basic human kindness.

We are more conscious of others’ necessary personal space as well as our own, more considerate of letting people go first if they seemed more needy. We share information about how to make masks, how to deal with home-schooling, how to wash our vegetables.

Just as interconnected sing-alongs raise our happiness level higher than solo singing in the shower, kindness to each other breeds more kindness.

What if this mind-boggling global crisis leaves in its wake a kinder humanity? What if we continue to be more considerate of each other, mindful of one another’s well-being, sharing and caring more than ever before? What if we consciously make this a better world post-Covid?

The Great Kindness Challenge

Recently, I discovered The Great Kindness Challenge, started by Jill McManigal of Carlsbad, California. It encourages school kids to be kind to one another (and to themselves) by performing as many acts of kindness as possible every week, chosen from a list offered by the Challenge, free of charge.

Performing these acts helps the children be more conscious of how they are treating themselves and others. This has already proven beneficial in creating a more joyous and harmonious environment for the children and, in turn, is conducive to a better learning environment.

Now then, what if we – adults and children alike – took on a similar challenge, to help us continue the forward progression into greater kindness? All it takes is becoming more conscious of how we treat ourselves, and how we behave toward others.

Not just towards the significant others of our lives, like spouses, boy/girlfriends and family, but towards the people we encounter in our day-to-day lives.

Many of The Kindness Challenge items would work just as well for grown-ups as they do for children, anywhere, anytime, such as “Smile at 25 people,” “Compliment 5 people,” “Make a new friend,” “Hold the door open for someone, “Pat yourself on the back.”

Making the world a better place most often starts with each of us making our own world – the one we live in day after day – a better place.

Take, for example, Pat Taylor, who, at 80, is once again battling ovarian cancer, which she had beat several times since her first round in 2004.

Yet Pat continued volunteering five days a week with a local elementary school (until schools shut down because of Covid-19), doing whatever was needed in the cafeteria that always seemed to be a person short.

It didn’t matter whether she was peeling potatoes or chopping vegetables or cleaning up the kitchen, Pat refused to let her health challenge get her down. Her love of life is expressed in every act of kindness she performs to the great benefit of all she serves, as well as to herself.

Kindness Is Simple

Kindness doesn’t have to be complicated. You can tailor your kindness challenge to whatever fits best for you. My personal challenge (given my passion for appreciation) is to thank people who don’t expect to be thanked.

For example, the grocery-store employee who sanitizes the carts (“Thanks for helping us stay healthy!”), the police officer taking a Starbucks break (“Thanks for keeping us safe!”), the workers who remove the mudslides on our post-rain California roads (“Thanks for cleaning up our roads!”). I get an awful lot of surprised looks, almost always followed by a very pleased smile.

Different from performing random acts of kindness (as wonderful as those are), a Kindness Challenge targets specific people. There’s nothing random about it.

Above all, what it accomplishes is to increase our awareness of the impact we have on others, an impact we have grown so much more aware of during these Covid months.

Thank you, Kindness Challenge, for reminding us of the power of ordinary, everyday kindness.

Do you make a special effort to be kind to strangers? How? Any pleasing reactions from others when you showed them unexpected kindness? What acts of kindness have you found that generate the most positive response? Let’s have a conversation!

Kyle Richards’ White Ruffle Off The Shoulder Dress

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 10 Fashion

Kyle Richards’ white ruffle off the shoulder dress is perfect for any housewife. It’s also perfect for any soon-to-be wife. Summer is coming up which means summer/fall weddings are arriving (fingers crossed some of you can still have them). This dress is seriously so cute for any of the festivities leading up to it, like a bridal shower or a rehearsal dinner and even a second, easier-to-dance in dress for the reception. When I first saw it I really thought to myself “aw this would be cute for my wedding events”. No I’m not getting married, but it’s always good to start planning early. Very verrrry early in my case.

It’s a bummer this particular dress is sold out, but that’s the amazing thing about our Style Stealers. Per usual they are here to save your big day.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

House of CB Selena Dress is Sold Out

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ White Ruffle Off The Shoulder Dress

Jackie Goldschneider’s Black and White Crochet Top on Instastories

Real Housewives of New Jersey Instagram Fashion 2020

Considering rumour has it that The Real Housewives of New Jersey isn’t set to resume filming until the end of July, we’re super grateful to Jackie Goldschneider for providing some self-shot footage for us on Instastories of her going for a run with her family in this super cute black and white crochet top. Which needless to say is totally inspiring us right now get fit or just sit in knit.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Alice + Olivia Top on Sale

Photo: @JackieGoldschneider

Originally posted at: Jackie Goldschneider’s Black and White Crochet Top

Caroline Stanbury’s Yellow Set on Instagram

Caroline Stanbury 2020 Instagram Fashion

Life outside of our 4 walls is slowly starting to emerge which means it’s finally time for “real” clothes. But for Caroline Stanbury life inside of her 4 walls has seen many “real” clothes moments. That includes this head-to-toe yellow number. I have to say I admire her commitment to keep the lewks coming and I can’t wait to see what she will deliver post-quarantine. I’m sure it’ll be gorg, like this yellow set, and I’ll probably just want it all delivered to my door ASAP.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her Ronny Kobo Yellow Sala Skirt

Click Here To See Her Sold Out Ronny Kobo Yellow Umeka Crop Top

Click Here To See Her Sold Out Ronny Kobo Yellow Yuka Cardigan

Photo: @CarolineStanbury

Originally posted at: Caroline Stanbury’s Yellow Set