Who wants to be a millionaire? We all do. What does that mean? For me it means not worrying about money, doing what I want and enjoying the luxuries that life has to offer.

As you know from my millionaire series of articles, you don’t have to be a millionaire to live like one. I may not have the bank account, but I can have the attitude; it’s a question of style and context. It’s about opening your perceptions as to the true luxury and richness of your life. Listen to the little things that speak to your soul and set it free in extravagant ways.

Let’s talk about how to use the Internet to feel like a millionaire.

An Internet Millionaire

Today I am saluting the Internet because it has delivered priceless experiences to my life. Consider what a luxury it is to find something out at exactly the moment you need to know it, by pressing a few buttons on your mobile or laptop. In the past, I had to drive to the library and look it up – when I had the time.

As technology changes there will be new, unimaginable wonders. New devices, services, applications, programs, techniques emerge every day. Bring it on! I made the decision to stay up to date technologically for as long as I can. Yes, there’s a learning curve, but I want to embrace new technology because then, instead of saying it’s too hard, or falling behind, I get a new pleasure.

Daily Fresh Flower Delivery

I have the most beautiful bouquets of fresh flowers delivered to me every day. How? On Instagram. Instagram has rocked my world. If you haven’t joined Instagram, maybe by the end of this article you’ll give it a try.

There’s a whole new crop of young florists out there, changing the world of floral design, which used to be a fusty business. These millennial florists happen to be accomplished photographers too, and share with me the most luscious, inspiring arrangements of the day.

Bouquets with refreshing new combinations of flowers. Compelling vases and table landscapes. Interesting installations in gardens and homes. I feast my eyes and soul on the flowers whilst learning new tips and techniques. I try these techniques at home with inexpensive flowers I’ve picked up at Costco or the supermarket.

I Travel Year-Round, Around the World

Ah wanderlust, I have it bad. Or rather I have it good! I’d love to go on safari in South Africa, eat authentic saffron risotto in Milan where it was created and stream through Norwegian fjords on a cruise ship. But…

I don’t travel as much as I’d like to because travel is expensive. However, I do get an authentic, incredible travel thrill every day, okay, several times a day. The “insta” in Instagram puts me in touch with life as it is lived all around the world. I feel connected and in the moment. It’s truly a vacation of the mind; armchair travel at its best.

Up close and personal: sipping a cafe crème in a Paris cafe or dangling my feet on a lake in Patagonia. I’m with a herd of buffalo on the range in Montana, followed by sunrise on the Ganges. Next, I’m riding a dogsled in Alaska, and then swinging in a cable car up to Table Mountain in Cape Town. I’m nursing a Negroni in Venice. As I gaze, I take notes on destinations, hotels and restaurants for future trips.

What’s Cooking?

One of my most acute memories of being the mother of young children was the question that besieged me every day: “What should I cook for dinner?” There was no Internet back then. But today, thanks to Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook – I am delivered menu ideas and recipes through beckoningly beautiful photographs that I want to eat right then and there. I get inspired, fired up and cook!

The quality and variety of food in my home, and my excitement for cooking, is definitely heightened thanks to wonderful food bloggers whose lives are dedicated to enticing me with wonderful things to make, bake and enjoy.

Harvard, Tuition Free

Instead of spending great sums of money to attend lectures and seminars at prestigious universities, I’m doing it online, in real time, for free. I recently took a Beethoven Sonata course on Coursera.com with a famous pianist at the prestigious Curtis Institute in Philadelphia. I can’t always attend the Women in the World Summit in New York City every April, but the event is live streamed over the entire three days. I invite my friends and turn my house into a mini conference hall as we participate from afar.

A Decorator and Planner for Free!

I can’t afford a decorator to help me update my home. But, a world of possibilities opens up when I go on Pinterest. I’m inspired with new ideas and then advised as to how to make it all happen. Same goes for party planning. Party themes, table settings, recipes, gift wrapping – it’s all there for me to enjoy and profit from.

Community and Intimacy

Contrary to people who believe the Internet is an alienating presence, robbing us from local community, and making us feel solitary as we sit alone cruising, I find the Internet has delivered tremendous community and connection to my life. I find like-minded people and I’ve even made two seriously significant friends on the Internet. The Internet brings my distant family and friends close, through chatting, messaging, emailing and the sharing of photos and videos.

Internet, you make me feel like a million!

In what new ways has the Internet enhanced your life? Do you have any favorite apps or programs to share? We’re listening and reading, below!

When most of us were in grade school,
we were mainly exposed to classical poets such as Chaucer and Shakespeare.
Mixed in might have been some limerick poems. While we were forced to memorize some
of the most famous poems, most of us had no idea what the poems actually meant.

How Poetry Has Changed

April is National Poetry Month, which
is a good time to discuss how poetry has evolved over the years, and how reading
it and writing it can help us heal. And since we’re all practicing social
distancing and trying to nurture stay-at-home hobbies, maybe this is a good
time to tap into poetry.

The most dramatic change is that contemporary
poetry has become more accessible. In other words, poems are easier to
understand, and the words and meanings resonate with us.

Contemporary poems tap into real feelings
and images that pertain to the human condition using words that we can
understand. For the most part, poets are usually quite observant and see things
that many of us might not readily notice.

As a tween, I remember falling in
love with the poetry of Rod McKuen. His work succinctly expressed feelings that
I had but was unable to clearly express.

In the 60s, when I became a teenager,
beat poets such as Bob Dylan, Alan Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac, and Pete Seger were popular,
and they continued to express situations common to the human experience.

How Poetry Heals

Healing is often done alone or as a
path to wholeness. As Sufi poet Rumi says, “The wound is the place where the
light enters you.” In other words, the wound is the pain and suffering we
encounter that puts us in touch with our inner selves. This can be the source
of our enlightenment.

Poetry helps us touch the wounded
part of us. As we move through the years, we become filled with memories. Some
of the memories may be good ones, while others may be the result of past
wounds.

Sometimes it takes years for wounds
to heal, and other times it takes a lifetime, if at all. It’s true that the
body remembers, and often times our body remembers past traumas. Poetry helps
us access those wounds through words. This can lead to healing and
transformation.

Poet Audre Lorde, for example, began
writing and reading poetry during childhood as a way to deal with growing up in
Harlem as an African-American woman of two parents with emotional walls between
them and their children.

During her childhood, she secretly
wrote poems in her journal, yearning to escape the tension at home. Writing and
reading poetry helped her navigate those challenging times.

On many levels, Lorde’s life story
resonated with me as we were both born to mothers whom we felt did not want us
and who refrained from nurturing the women we were. We were also both poets and
breast cancer survivors.

Poetry and Therapy

Often times, poetry is used in
conjunction with talk therapy. Writing poetry in a journal is a powerful way to
tap into what’s going on inside the self or in the unconscious mind. It’s also
a place to observe the inner and outer landscape.

Confessional poetry is powerful for
this. By using vivid language, we merge the intellectual and the emotional part
of ourselves.

When I was in my mid-50s I sought the
guidance of a therapist to help me deal with the deep pain of having lost my
grandmother and caretaker when I was 10 years old. I guess I was holding on to
a lot of unresolved grief.

In addition to inspiring me to write
my first memoir, Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal,
she inspired me to write poems to and about my grandmother. During my therapy
sessions, my therapist read them out loud to me. It was powerful to hear my
voice in a different way.

How to Start Writing a Poem

It’s never too late to start to write
poetry. The first step is to let go and just allow life and experiences to
unfold as they were meant to unfold. Poetry is the voice of the soul, so it’s
important to remember that when writing poetry, you have to try to let go of the
rational mind and let sensations and emotions take over.

The emotion is felt first, and the
words or thoughts come during the creation of the poem. Plato considered the
poet a vehicle of supernatural inspiration.

For some people, beginning a poem is
the most difficult, but practice makes it easier. One way to begin is to start
with a feeling or an image and take it from there. Poetry is written in
fragments. Each line or fragment should have an emotion or a compelling image.

Life provides us with much material
to write about. In addition to our memories, reflections, and fantasies, this wealth
of material can also include the books or articles we’ve read and the movies we’ve
watched.

As Robert Frost deftly stated, “A
poem begins with a lump in the throat; a home-sickness or a love sickness. It
is a reaching out toward expression: an effort to find fulfillment…”

The idea or subject of poems often
comes to us when we least expect it. That’s why it’s important to always keep a
journal and pen handy.

Finally, to write poetry, it’s
important to read a lot of poetry. The best poets master details and are very
specific in their writing. They show rather than tell. Ensuring that your poem
is visual will make it compelling to read! Happy writing!

How often do you read poetry? Who are
your favorite authors and why? Have you tried writing poetry? What was the
easiest part for you, and which was the most difficult? Please share your
thoughts, and maybe some poetry, with our community!

Slowly but surely, skincare enthusiasts and The Ordinary fans alike are getting hip to the best Niod products. What is Niod exactly? Think of it as The Ordinary’s smart and bougie little sister. The packaging is just as sleek and the overall benefits are on the same level, but when it comes to unique formulations with ingredients that you actually can’t find anywhere, I’d personally vouch for Niod.

In the simplest terms, I’d describe Niod as highly-researched dermal science in a bottle that focuses on long-term solutions instead of targeting specific issues in an instant. (We need to accept the fact that most skincare products require a couple weeks-use for visible results anyway!) Understandably so, it isn’t a drugstore brand—knowing exactly what to invest in is important if you’re on a budget.

Ahead are the core regimen products that just so happen to be some of the most popular Niod options too. I personally can’t live without the Copper Amino Isolate Lipid 1%, but maybe you’ll want one of the serums instead. Ahead, the 411 on the best Niod products.

Niod.

Copper Amino Isolate Serum 2:1

This isn’t your run-of-the-mill peptide serum, people. First of all, it’s a bigger and better update to the original Copper Amino Isolate Serum because perfection takes time. But long story short: there’s a whole lot of peptide action happening–I’m talking three different peptide complexes all composed of multiple peptide types. It’s basically Inception, but for skincare. There’s also plant-derived glycogen to protect the peptide formulations and a non-animal form of hyaluronic acid polymer to help deliver actives into the skin.

After washing your face, this should be the first thing applied to your face before all other products, Niod or otherwise.

Niod.

Modulating Glucosides

This serum is another peptide all-star, except it’s especially beneficial to sensitive skin. The active ingredients at work in this concentrated emulsion are unsurprisingly not in short supply. They include a potent blend of oat analogues, ginger root, ceramides and more for reducing various types of irritation; aa yeast-derived molecule that reduces aging signs; a plant complex for reducing feelings of sensitivity; and mineral-rich Tasmanian Pepperberry for calming irritated skin upon contact.

Apply a few drops of this to your face every morning and night. If you’re using the Copper Amino Isolate Serum, apply that first.

Niod.

Multi-Molecular Hyaluronic Complex

Think of this as a basic hyaluronic acid serum on steroids (figuratively, not literally). There’s 15 different hyaluronic compounds and a peptide-charged technology that ensures all of it is absorbed into the skin. As noted on the brand website, “almost universally in the world of beauty, the term ‘hyaluronic acid’ is used loosely to refer to “sodium hyaluronate” which is the sodium salt of hyaluronic acid. When brands refer to ‘hyaluronic acid’ in their information and marketing materials, in almost every case the reference is to forms of ‘sodium hyaluronate’ which appears in the ingredient listing of the products.” So while this one does have sodium hyaluronate, the formula also includes direct hyaluronic acid, which delivers benefits beyond hydration.

This can also be applied before all of your other skincare products and/or right after the Copper Amino Isolate Serum.

Niod.

Copper Amino Acid Isolate Lipid 1%

Of course, I saved the best for last: a dreamy blue gel intended for night use to enhance the overall health and look of your skin. There is so much to love about the formulation but my favorite parts are the plant-derived squalane, a lightweight but effective moisturizer, and Aphanizomenon Aquaflo, a recently discovered form of algae rich in acids, vitamins, and minerals.

This gel should be used on its own (or before Copper Amino Isolate Serum and Multi-Molecular Hyaluronic Complex) after cleansing. If you swear by retinol, simply alternate between that and CAIL every other night.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

Exercising at home sounds like the perfect way to get in shape. No driving to a sweaty workout facility filled with Spandex-clad people taking selfies in front of mirrors, gossiping about the new hot Zumba instructor.

Or maybe that’s just my gym. Regardless, home workouts can be ideal. Or not good.

I know because I’ve personally seen it go in both directions. I worked for over 15 years as an in-home personal trainer. People hired me to go to their home and whip them motivate them to get in shape.

Sally’s Story

During the first meeting I’d usually ask if the client ­– let’s call her Sally for the sake of this story – if she had any fitness equipment. It was not necessary to have equipment, but if something was available I’d use it with them.

“Oh, yes,” Sally would say, ushering me over to a blanket-covered piece of machinery. “But I admit, I haven’t used this thing in ages,” she’d add, pulling off the musty-smelling comforter.

Once the dust cleared and we both finished coughing, I could see it was once a functioning treadmill, circa 1970. Sometimes lifting the “veil” revealed an elliptical or other piece of equipment typically sold in garage sales for $100 “or best offer.”

“Does it work?” I’d ask.

“Sometimes, but I really don’t know. It’s been so long,” Sally would laugh.

Getting Motivated is the First Challenge

Here’s the thing. You’d think after spending $2,000 or more for a high-end treadmill or other piece of home gym equipment you’d be motivated to use it, right? Not necessarily. Whether it’s a piece of workout equipment, a gym membership, or some other pricey item you counted on to get you in shape, it takes more than opening your wallet to get you to use it.

Even spending the equivalent of a monthly mortgage payment to hire a trainer was no guarantee you’d stick with it, even if the person (me!) comes to your house.

The truth is, exercising at home is fraught with obstacles you won’t encounter if you leave the house to get in shape. For example, lying on your back doing crunches at the gym does not usually inspire you to look for cobwebs over your head that suddenly require your immediate attention.

You also won’t find baskets of dirty laundry beckoning for your attention from the corner of the room. (And if you do, you may want to quit that gym.) If you leave the house to get in shape, there are simply no distractions.

Although this obviously does not prevent you from creating your own distractions by checking your phone every five minutes and having 30-minute conversations with family and friends between each set of squats. There are ways, however, to increase your chances of sticking with a home workout, whether it’s dancing along to DVDs, training with weights or doing cardio. Or all of the above.

Buy Some Fun Equipment

Visual appeal can play a role in motivation. A colorful yoga mat and bright blue fitness ball makes exercise seem more like fun than work, at least until you start to feel the burn.

Grab a Friend

Ask nearby friends to meet on specific days, even if just one day a week, and alternate the homes you use for the workout. The homeowner gets to call the shots and lead the workout. Make it even more motivating by checking in with each other on non-meeting days. Falling off the wagon means the other person picks up the tab for a coffee or smoothie.

Keep the Treadmill Out of the Bedroom

Keeping the treadmill in the bedroom makes it less likely you’ll use it and risk waking your sleeping partner – or decide the allure of a warm bed somehow seems more appealing than sweating it up. Go figure. Consider buying a home machine that rolls away if you’re short on space.

Monitor Your Heart Rate

A heart rate monitor enables you to track the intensity of your workout, which can motivate you to work out harder and burn more calories.

Create a Pleasant Exercise Environment

I cannot emphasize this enough. I’ve worked out with clients in dingy, stuffy basements without ventilation where I was convinced I’d eventually meet my demise from inhaling long-forgotten asbestos fibers. Keep the exercise space clean, uncluttered and well-ventilated with an overhead or freestanding fan.

Design a Simple, Ready-to-Go Circuit

Instead of trying to figure out an approach with every workout, create a quick circuit that works the major muscle groups. Here is one program – complete with videos – that I created.

Do it First Thing

Avoid finding excuses to ditch your workout as the day progresses by exercising first thing in the morning. Wake up 20 minutes earlier and set your alarm clock before you have a reason to skip it.

Do you work out at home? What activities do you enjoy? Do you have a trick for sticking with your exercise plan? If you have some successful tips, please share them by leaving a comment below.

“Embrace your grief, for there your soul will grow.” – Carl Jung

“We all grieve in different ways. Mine
is probably different from most people,” my sister explained her need for
privacy to the Rabbi after our father died at 93 of complications from
pneumonia on January 4, 2020. From January to April the world has changed.

A World of Grief

As our family continues to grieve our
father, now with the pandemic, there is grief all around us. People are
experiencing many different forms of grief as they lose loved ones or cannot be
together with loved ones who are suffering.

Each day, I learn of different
challenges:

• A
  friend’s sister-in-law was just diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
• Another
  friend, who was helping a relative recover from a liver transplant in India, is
  stuck there and cannot return to her family in Washington DC.
• A
  friend who cannot visit her 100-year-old Russian aunt who speaks no English and
  is in a nursing home in the US.
• An
  undocumented friend and her husband with no source of income who cannot apply
  for emergency aid.

My own daughter just had a very
difficult labor and birth this week, 500 miles away, and I could not be there
to help because I am over 65 with a pre-existing condition.

The Losses Only Pile Up

There are other losses from
non-life-threatening situations that can also impact us deeply: postponed
graduations, missed family gatherings, and even the cancelation of a planned
trip abroad.

Daily experiences have disrupted our
lives in smaller ways like getting a haircut or going to church or synagogue.
There is no hierarchy of pain; no misery Olympics to determine who is suffering
more.

Therapist Lori Gottlieb says that some of these
losses get pushed inside, and we fear others will judge them as insignificant
and expect us to “buck up.”

Stages of Grief

Many of us know about Kübler-Ross’s stages of grief: denial, anger,
bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Research validates the presence of
these stages while some question the sequence of reactions.

Another approach, the “tasks of
grieving,”
offers more of a menu of responses that are similar to Kubler-Ross’s stages.
Along with emotions, there are physical conditions: tiredness, tightness and
constriction in the body, increased short-term memory loss (blanking on
people’s names) or even tunnel vision (losing peripheral vision and awareness
of things around you).

A different selection from the menu is
prepared for us daily by our inner selves.

What Can We Do?

Here are a few tips on handling your
feelings of grief and loss.

Allow Grief to Surface

When it arises in ourselves and others,
we can recognize our own, our family’s,
and friend’s stress responses. Cry, if you need to, write about it, share it with
someone you trust. Your feelings are real, and in the long run, you will heal
when you acknowledge and accept them as part of life.

Live in the Present

Being is more important than doing.

We are in a very difficult moment, and if we can just “be,” we will feel less anxious and take the needed steps to move ahead. While it may be hard to try to not worry about the future, staying in the present means to take care of ourselves.

We can let feelings emerge but avoid
imagining the worst possible scenarios. We can adjust our expectations for
productivity and prioritize being present by meditating and practicing trauma-informed
mindfulness practices.
If you have trouble meditating, try doing Zentangle, a simple and calming art
form.

No Judgment

Try not to judge others in how they
are handling their feelings or managing their sense of loss. Grief is very
personal. For each of us, our personal sense of loss at this moment may be
different, but sharing with others in non-judgmental ways will help.

Find Gratitude in Grief

Three months after my dad died, some
days grief comes in waves of emotion. At other times, grief feels frozen
inside, unreachable. Even after a day that had felt completely normal, grief
rears its ugly head. On other days, I feel acceptance and life is moving on.

While I continue to grieve, I am
grateful that we were able to be at my father’s side to ensure he knew he was
loved and sing to him as he struggled to breathe. Even that may not be possible
for people who are separated from a loved one at this moment. Yet, we can still
find gratitude in our hearts for their lives.

Also, I am grateful that our newborn
grandson, Anteo, is safely home with his parents after a few days in neonatal
ICU. As we open our hearts, we feel, we find healing, and by reaching out to
others, we find support or simply a compassionate ear.

As Brene Brown said, “You do not have to do it alone. We were never meant to…” and, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of courage. And courage is not doing something because you are fearless. Courage is doing something because you may be afraid, and you do it anyway.”

How do you handle the grief and loss
that is everywhere around you? What are you grieving? What losses are you
experiencing in this troubling time? What can you be grateful for despite the
circumstances? Please share with our community and let’s have a conversation.