Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

My colleague, Michael Rizzotto, the manager of a Brooklyn, New York, funeral home, recently shared a story about a family he served. During the arrangement conference, he asked, as he always does, about the deceased’s interests and hobbies. The funeral home aims to personalize each funeral.

“They told us about her passion for the beach,” he said. With that information and the family’s consent, he chose a beach theme for the service. Together with some staff members, he decorated the reposing room to reflect the woman’s love for the beach.

“We set up memory tables with beach-inspired items,” he explained. Rizzotto and his team carefully spread out a blue tarp to resemble ocean water, adding a beach chair, umbrella, and a cooler filled with iced tea and soft drinks.

Rizzotto said that “most of the guests were amazed to see something not usually found at a funeral home. Instead of focusing only on the picture board, they spent more time at the memory table, looking closely at the items on display.”

“It became a real conversation piece,” he added. It also helped mourners learn more about the person being remembered. “’We didn’t know she liked that’ was a common comment,” Rizzotto remarked.

This emphasis on personalization matters because, as Rizzotto noted, those unfamiliar with the deceased often leave with a deeper understanding.

A Well Thought Out Summer Memorial Theme

His story got me thinking about how a beach or summer theme can easily extend to memorial services, also called Celebrations of Life, which are gaining in popularity.

Summer, a season filled with warmth, vibrant colors, and natural beauty, provides an ideal backdrop to honor and celebrate the life of a loved one during a memorial service. Summer or beach themes allow families to create highly personal memorial services.

While a memorial service, unlike a funeral service, does not have a casket present, it often has an urn as its centerpiece. Themed decorations can surround the urn, personalizing the service.

Here are some ideas to create a heartfelt and memorable summer-themed memorial, inspired by the beauty of this season.

Location Ideas

Garden or Park

A local park or botanical garden surrounded by lush greenery and blooming flowers can provide a serene venue for the service.

Beach or Lakeside

If your loved one enjoyed the water, consider holding the memorial by at a beach or by a lake. The sound of waves and the feel of the fresh breeze can create a peaceful atmosphere. Early morning or late afternoon generally offers more comfortable temperatures, natural beauty, and a quieter, more private setting than midday.

Consider hiring a professional sand sculptor for a truly memorable tribute. They can craft a stunning sculpture that captures your loved one’s unique spirit, reflecting cherished hobbies, interests, or even their likeness.

Make sure to take photos of the finished sculpture as a lasting reminder of the day before it’s washed away. The ephemeral nature of sand sculptures is an apt metaphor for life.

Backyard or Patio

Hosting the service at home allows for a personal touch, surrounded by cherished memories and familiar spaces.

Outdoor Pavilion

Some community centers have pavilions that can be rented for gatherings, providing shelter while allowing for the beauty of the outdoors.

Decorations

Fresh Flowers

Use seasonal flowers like sunflowers, daisies, geraniums, or wildflowers to create cheerful arrangements or simple displays.

Colorful Tablecloths and Accents

Incorporate bright, summery shades in your table settings. Think yellows, oranges, and light blues to reflect the season.

Nature-Inspired Décor

Utilize elements like shells, stones, or dune grass as centerpieces or accents around the area.

Photo Collages

Create a collage showcasing favorite summer activities, beloved beach days, and cherished memories.

Memory Table

A memory table can showcase the deceased’s favorite summer items, such as a towel, flip flops, beach bag, and sunglasses. Decorate the table with a variety of seashells, sand, or beach pebbles and provide a register book and colorful pens in which people can share a memory or write a message.

Give a Keepsake

Seed Packets

Guests can plant flowers or herbs in memory of the deceased.

Potted Plants

Offer mourners a small, bright-colored potted plant, such as pink splash, marigolds, or zinnias.

Scented Candles

Opt for summer scents like coconut, jasmine, or sea salt that evoke pleasant memories associated with the season.

Personalized Keepsakes

Provide seashells painted and decorated with the deceased’s name or initials.

Memorial Cards

Share amemorialcard featuring a summer scene, inscribed with a meaningful quote, prayer, or poem. These cards are also available as bookmarks.

Scattering Cremated Remains

If scattering cremated remains (ashes) is part of the memorial, choosing a summer location can create a meaningful experience. If you decide to scatter, do be mindful of local regulations.

Locations may include:

The Ocean

A gentle scattering along the shore can create a beautiful moment of remembrance. Alternatively, a biodegradable urn that dissolves in water can be used.

A Favorite Hiking Spot

Consider a beautiful overlook or serene valley that your loved one cherished.

The Garden

If the deceased loved gardening, scattering among their favorite plants or flowers can be a fitting tribute.

Luncheon Foods

An outdoor luncheon with light fare – sandwiches, salads, and refreshments – creates a relaxed, welcoming atmosphere. Consider including the deceased’s favorite summertime foods.

Fresh Salads

Serve light dishes, like summer pasta salad or a spinach salad with berries.

Grilled Items

Offer a BBQ spread with burgers, hot dogs, or grilled vegetables.

Fruits and Desserts

A fruit platter or refreshing desserts, such as ice cream, frozen yogurt, sorbet, or fruit tarts, add a sweet touch.

Tea Sandwiches

Servedainty sandwiches, easy to eat with one hand, offering varieties such as cucumber, tomato, or egg salad.

Activities

Eulogy or Poetry Reading

Invite guests to share a eulogy, read a poem, or offer personal memories of the deceased.

A Religious or Spiritual Service

Engage the services of a clergy member, officiant, or celebrant.

Music

Incorporate live music. Include songs to accompany readings, eulogies, or as gentle transitions between portions of the program.

Release Butterflies

Invite guests to release butterflies as a visual tribute, symbolizing the transformation of your loved one.

Release Flowers

Have guestsrelease biodegradable flowers or petals into the water or scatter them in a designated area. Similar to placing flowers on the casket of a loved one at the conclusion of a funeral service, this farewell ritual honors the deceased and acknowledges the enduring love that continues beyond loss.

Offer a Toast at Sunset

Be it with champagne, prosecco, or sparkling water.

Be mindful of local regulations and obtain permits if required by the park or beach where you plan to hold the service. Be respectful of the environment and other beachgoers.

Editor’s Note: Images courtesy of Michael Rizzotto.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you been to a summer-themed memorial? If you could choose your own theme, what would it be? Have you made your wishes known?

For most of my life, I made myself smaller. Not in stature, though, yes, I dieted endlessly because society taught me that smaller meant prettier, more acceptable, more lovable. But the shrinking went deeper than my waistline. I diminished myself emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.

I kept my opinions polite, my ambitions modest, and my presence quiet. I folded myself into corners where no one would feel threatened, no one would feel uncomfortable. I bit my tongue to avoid arguments with my ex-partner when he was treating me badly.

Why? Because somewhere along the way, I internalised a powerful lie: that women, especially as we age, are praised for being agreeable, gentle, and easy to overlook. We’re rewarded for staying quiet, for looking pleasant, and for never, ever rocking the boat.

But I’m done with that.

I’ve stopped apologising for taking up space. And not only that, but I also wrote a whole book about it. Just three weeks after it launched, You’re Going to Die So Do It Anyway won a Breaking Boundaries award. Why? Because it speaks to a truth that so many women are desperate to hear: you don’t need permission to live boldly. You were never meant to shrink.

What It Really Means to Take Up Space

Taking up space doesn’t mean shouting the loudest or demanding attention. It means being unapologetically you.

It means speaking up even when your voice shakes.

It means refusing to be the unpaid caretaker of everyone else’s comfort.

It means wearing what makes you feel alive, not what makes you invisible.

It means entering rooms like you belong in them. Because you do.

Too many of us have been taught that aging means fading. That our opinions, our sexuality, our creativity, even our clothing should become muted as the decades roll on. But I believe the opposite: aging is not a reason to shrink, it’s a reason to expand.

You Are Not Too Much – And You Are Certainly Not Done

Women over 60 have been told we’re too much for decades. Too emotional, too loud, too independent, too bold, too old. And in the same breath, we’re told we’re not enough anymore. Not young enough, not thin enough, not soft or subtle enough, not relevant.

But here’s the thing: who decided that? Who decided that once we cross some invisible threshold, we no longer matter? That we should trade our voices, our style, our ambition for sensible shoes and silence? Not me.

And if you’re reading this, I hope not you either. Because at this stage in life, we are wise, wild, and wholly ourselves if we’re brave enough to claim it.

A Movement, Not Just a Message

You’re Going to Die So Do It Anyway is more than a book. It’s a raw, real, and rebellious invitation to stop apologising and start owning your worth – fully, fiercely, and without permission.

It’s a movement for women who’ve been told to smile more.

For women who are not ready to disappear into quiet retirement.

For women who want to dine alone without pitying looks.

For every older woman who still has something to say, something to create, something to claim.

Every scar you carry, every lesson you’ve earned it’s all proof of your worth. You don’t need to apologise for being seen. You’ve earned your space. It’s yours.

Burn the Rulebook

There’s a quiet rulebook handed to women around menopause, and I burned mine. According to it, by now, I should’ve chopped my hair short, stuck to age-appropriate fashion, and slipped into a quiet, respectable version of femininity. But instead? I wear long extensions, sequin tops, tight dresses that show off the body I love, and bold red lip gloss. Some call it attention-seeking. I call it graceful defiance.

Grace isn’t about disappearing. It’s about owning your body, your voice, your style without shame. You know what’s really desperate? A culture that tries to erase women as they age. That’s the problem. Not me. Not you.

You Don’t Need to Tone It Down

At some point, society decided that boldness belongs only to the young. That confidence, sensuality, and expression are things to outgrow. But I’m calling out that narrative. I feel more beautiful, more sensual, more alive now than I ever did in my 30s. Because now, I’m living life on my terms not theirs and I have glowed up.

My bikini isn’t the problem. Your discomfort is.

When people tell me, “Bikinis aren’t for women your age,” what they really mean is: “You’re not supposed to feel sexy anymore.”

When they say, “Cut your hair,” what they really mean is: “Stop being visible.”

When they say, “You’re too much,” what they really mean is: “You refuse to shrink.”

Good. Let them be uncomfortable, let them stare, let them whisper.

This Is Your Time. Your Voice. Your Space.

You don’t need permission to show up fully in your life. You don’t need to wait until the world is ready to accept you. Because, truthfully, the world may never be ready for a woman who refuses to apologise. So be her anyway.

Wear the leopard print. Grow your hair long. Book the solo trip. Dance in a bar. Say what you need to say. Rock the damn bikini.

Do it because it brings you joy. Do it because it makes you feel alive. Do it because you’ve earned every moment of this life and you are not done.

No More Shame, No More Silence

I don’t dress to impress men. I don’t wear sequins to feel younger. I wear them because they make me feel electric. I don’t diet to fit in. I nourish myself to thrive. I don’t speak softly to avoid judgment, I speak clearly to honour my truth. This confidence? I’ve worked for it. It took decades to silence the shame that was drilled into me from girlhood. And I’m not letting it back in now.

Taking up space isn’t selfish. It’s revolutionary and necessary and it’s overdue.

Final Word: Stop Saying Sorry

This is your time.

This is your voice.

This is your space.

And no, you don’t have to apologise for it. You’ve survived too much, sacrificed too much, and learned too much to shrink now. You don’t owe the world quietness or softness. You owe yourself truth, joy, and boldness.

So take up space. Being bolder as we get older isn’t rebellion, it’s reclamation. After decades of being told to play small, stay polite, and not rock the boat, boldness becomes our birthright. It’s the reward for surviving, for growing wiser, for finally giving ourselves permission to take up space. At 60, 70, or 80, we don’t need to ask if we’re too much, we need to ask what took us so long to stop apologising. Boldness isn’t just allowed as we age. It’s earned. And it looks damn good on us.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you feel like you need to apologise for taking up space? Or are you bold and express yourself without fear? In what situations have you felt like your opinion is valued?

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Originally posted at: Emily Simpson’s Black Embellished Bow Mini Confessional

What did she do?

What did she do?