Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

“This is my greatest dream come true.”

I am positive that you or someone you know has experienced a scam. No matter which technique was used, the resulting behavior is known as an “amygdala hijack.” The brain’s fear and threat response center, the amygdala, was triggered by criminals to elicit strong emotional reactions that overwhelm the rational part of our brains. We act rather than think, a classic fight-or-flight response.

Out of Character

I remember reading a couple of years ago about a woman, a retired attorney, who lost her entire life savings to a fraudster that supposedly called from her bank. I personally know family and clients who were terrified into behavior that didn’t even sound like them.

One drove to the bank with the scammer on the phone, in her ear the entire drive, until the teller at the bank convinced her to hang up. Another stayed on the phone in front of her computer with a scammer for three hours until a family member came home and made her hang up the phone.

Locked Out

It’s that over-simplification that I always visualize as having two “rooms” in the brain with a door between. And when the emotional side fills up with strong emotions, it shuts the door on the logical side. So the brain physiologically can no longer think clearly. Acting rationally is out the window!

Much Worse

Over 100,000 U.S. victims aged 60 and older reported fraud to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center in 2023. And those are just the ones who reported it. So many don’t report their experience and are often too embarrassed to tell anyone. The true scope of just how many are affected is likely much worse.

Tech Support Is the Most Popular Scam

With 10,000 baby boomers retiring every day, these illegal call centers continue to perfect their “skills” on an ever-aging population. Tech support scams are the most widely reported type of elder fraud. We have all had those threatening emails or even popups on our computer screen warning of a threat that requires immediate action by calling a phone number.

Some of those screen pop-ups can be down right scary! Some blink, others make a blaring noise, and others talk in urgent tones warning you not to shut down and instead to call this number or all three of those techniques all at once! I’m not a techie but the simple Alt + F4 keyboard combination may close the window. Another one, Ctrl + Alt + Del, opens up the computer’s Task Manager. From there you can  Select your browser (Google, Edge, etc.) then click on End Task. This seems to do the trick for me.

What to Say

I encourage clients and aging parents to decide which phrase they will use if they ever feel pressured (on the phone, at the door, etc.):

1. “I don’t do anything without first talking to my son/daughter/advisor.” Click (hang up or shut the door).
2. “I’m not interested so please take me off your list and don’t contact me again.” Click.
3. Any sentence that you and your family have agreed is the safest reply for you. Click.

Best Practices

I find it sad that we almost have to become paranoid and assume the worst about phone calls, texts, and emails. And asking ourselves “is this really true?” is often a healthy way to pause yourself before doing anything. To avoid any of these scary situations, perhaps the best practice is:

• NOT to click on links within an email.
• NOT to call the number in an email or text.
• NOT to even answer the phone unless it is identified from your Contacts (remember, if it’s important, they will leave you a message and you can call them back).

Ambulance Chasers

And remember the “ambulance chaser” concept. Scammers can follow obituaries, purchase contacts from illegal sources, and target single women specifically. Losing a spouse, through death or divorce, is an emotionally vulnerable time, and unfortunately, it’s a period when scammers often strike. Widows are frequently targeted with deceptive phone calls, emails, or offers that seem helpful but are designed to steal personal information or money.

Arm Yourself with Education

Stay aware, learn about the recent scams in your area, and seek out blogs, podcasts, and other educational opportunities to help you stay informed about money in general and be vigil in avoiding scammers. Protecting your financial well-being is one more way to take control of your future.

Also read, Common Scams Targeting Seniors and How to Avoid Them.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you learned anything about scams that would help other women to know? How do you protect yourself from con-artists? How can we help each other? Let’s have a discussion!

Although older women are becoming more visible in the world of fashion, I fear that we are also becoming somewhat fetishized in the press and on social media. I chalk that up to the enormous popularity of Ari Seth Cohen’s Advanced Style Blog.

He features prominent and well-heeled older women of (mostly) New York, dressing in eye-catching couture outfits and often wild color and pattern combinations and accessories. In a city with a population of eight million people it’s almost a requirement to go to such extremes in order to be seen.

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A post shared by Ari Seth Cohen (@advancedstyle)

Now, I love edgy. I love cool and hip at any age. But I tend to recoil at the images of older women when I feel they are being used as spectacle. I’m certainly not criticizing any of these women. Frankly, I admire them and the outfits they have put together.

Many are extremely artsy and interesting in their own right. And they definitely have opened the door for more of us to become visible. It’s just that we, as a group, have so much more to offer than what some these outfits would convey.

Are These Older Women in Fashion? Or, Are they in Costume?

My concern is that, sometimes, these get ups clearly – and intentionally – border on costume. When they do, what they inspire is something more akin to “wow – look at those wild and crazy old ladies,” rather than “what an enviable group of women.”

Being chic, as opposed to wearing a costume, requires a little more finesse. It requires turning down the volume, visually.

As designer Alber Elbaz says, “It’s not about screaming, it’s about whispering. When you scream everybody hears, but not everyone listens.” The trick is to whisper in such a way that everyone has to, as the popular phrase goes, “lean in.”

What’s the Alternative?

So let’s break down some of the elements to consider when putting together an outfit that says: “I’m wise and interesting and you want to know more about me”, instead of simply “I’m wild and crazy and watch out world, here I come!”

Since hats are the attention-getter in many of these outfits, wearing one in the right scale is the key. If you’re going to wear a ginormous hat, make sure you have the height or overall body size to carry it off, and that the rest of your outfit balances its volume.

Big hats only work on those few people with larger-than-life personalities and/or bodies. And a hat that says “pixie” is most flattering to a face that has pixie-like features and bone structure. On someone with more natural features, or a more angular or a very oval face, it might look somewhat silly.

The same goes for accessories. In construction and silhouette – as well as in your accessories – it’s always nice to echo your facial features and bone structure. It complements your image. Also, piles of accessories on someone with a smaller frame can become visually overwhelming.

Coco Chanel’s suggestion to “always remove one accessory” might be helpful if, when you look at your overall image, you feel you just might be a bit overdone.

Many of these women are wearing strongly contrasting or brightly saturated colors. If you want to emulate their overall panache, make sure that you start with the right colors for your own coloring.

Keep in mind that wearing bright colors with strong contrast isn’t for everyone. Pulling it off successfully depends upon your skin undertone and the rest of your coloring. And as skin tone does change somewhat with age we have to be particularly mindful about the colors we wear near our face so that we don’t get washed out.

Still, wearing some color near the face is a good plan as we age. It brings brightness. And wearing something in the red range brings an extra dash of spice to our faces. Just make sure it’s the right red for your skin tone. Some blueish reds will make women with warmer skin undertones look positively jaundiced; and some women with cooler skin tones will look ashen in bright, yellow-y reds.

The key with any color is to ask yourself: does the color “pop” against my skin, i.e., do I disappear behind it, or do my eyes sparkle and my skin glow when I wear this color? You want to look for the sparkle and glow that is created in your face, not just in the fabric.

The more Striking or Lively Bright your coloring, the more bright and bold colors you can wear.

The more delicate, muted or quiet your eye color, hair and skin tone, the more subtle your colors have to be. And if your skin, eyes and hair coloring lean toward the Rich and Warm end of the spectrum, keep the basis of your wardrobe warm, as those brighter, saturated colors will make you fade.

Then there is pattern. We are frequently told, at least in fashion magazines, that older women need to wear large bold patterns. But bold patterns aren’t for everyone.

The larger or taller you are, the more you can wear larger patterns and prints. And the scale of any pattern you wear – that includes things like stripes, florals and abstracts – also has to make sense in terms of your height and size. Just as with accessories, the scale of your patterns is crucial.

So, there’s no reason you can’t stand out from the crowd. Just be sure that none of what you wear makes you disappear beneath a flood of fabric, pattern, color or accessories. That’s where you start to move from style into the direction of costume.

One of my readers put it this way: “Less is the new more.” Now, if you truly do want to say watch out world, here I come, who am I to stop you? Have at it ladies. But if you do, PLEASE post a photo of yourself!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you think? Should we tone it down or should we go for all the gusto? Join the conversation below.

Sixty and Me, by definition, is written for people (mostly women) in their 60s. But a lot of us have been around for a lot of years and – I know you like to think it isn’t true – we do grow older.

I have been writing for Sixty and Me for roughly 10 years and, yes, I admit it, I was in my early 70s when I started.

And now I am 83.

What It Feels Like

I find being 83 a complete revelation – both that I ever got here (like many others, I thought old age only happened to other people) and what joy it brings me to be here.

I can’t speak for other people aged 83 any more than I could have spoken for other people aged 25 or 40 or 65. But I can say how it feels to be me right now.

I honestly don’t think I have ever been as much at peace with myself. Yes, I have had more moments of utter joy (my wedding day, the birth of my two children – not to mention my two grandchildren – finishing my PhD and probably a few others) in earlier years.

But overall, being in my 80s is a period of great emotional contentment – nay, happiness. And this is a lovely surprise.

The surprise works in two ways: I did not expect that I would have as many sources of pleasure as I do nor did I expect that there would be so little anxiety.

I wish someone had told me this years ago.

I Actually Like Being Old

Somewhere in my mid-70s, I realised I enjoyed being old – and proceeded to write a book about it, in which I explore in more detail the thoughts set down here. I have had no cause to revise this view as I head into my mid-80s. Indeed, if anything, it has become more firmly entrenched.

I must note that I have had the good luck all my life to experience very good health. Yes, I look after myself – I eat a very healthy diet, and I exercise – but I have also escaped any serious illness so far.

Without the good health, I might have a different view.

The great benefit of being old is that you feel at ease with yourself, comfortable in your own skin. You have had to face a lot of challenges of one sort or another over your many years – who could avoid them? – and come through.

In my case, I have raised two extremely different children (now, that in itself was a surprise that they could be so different) and seen them grow into confident mature adults.

I have taken on a lot of different work assignments over time and learned from them. I have reflected and travelled both abroad and within. I have ripened and matured, as someone said recently, like a fine wine.

Put another way, so many of the anxieties of my younger years no longer hold any sway. All those terrible unanswerable questions (in no particular order, as they pop up in no particular order):

Am I smart enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I a good enough mother? Is my career advancing enough? Am I a good enough wife? Do people like me?

They go on and on, as you doubtless know. They follow us into every nook and cranny of our lives.

It’s not sudden, but slowly, slowly as you age, they just fall away. By your 80s, you know who you are, you know your strengths and your weaknesses and whatever you were going to become in life, you have probably become.

Sit Back and Enjoy Your Life

It all brings – in one simple word – confidence. You can sit back and enjoy your day-to-day life like never before. And you have the knowledge that whatever life throws at you, you have the strength and resilience to cope. At least, I think I do.

And as if this were not enough, there are other positives of being 80. You not only have confidence in yourself, but many others think they could learn a thing or two from you.

Yes, of course, many think (as I did once) that old people are too old to know anything (an odd piece of logic), but some come to me for advice because of my experience and insights.

This passing on of what one has learned is enormously gratifying. Somehow, all those hurdles and travails had a purpose after all.

And finally, for some of us lucky ones, there are grandchildren. I have only two, but their importance was completely unexpected, as neither I nor my children had very active grandparents.

Yet just when you think you have finished with the joys of being around small children, there is a new baby to coo over, and then a child to play with and then a teenager to talk to about all sorts of important issues.

This relationship is very special – not only for the children involved but for the adults too. It is the latter viewpoint – that of the grandparents – in which I am particularly interested and have written a whole book about it.

Some Downsides to Aging

I can’t pretend that there isn’t also a downside to being my age. Of course, our bodies are falling apart (I call it ‘the wheels coming off’) and my memory is atrocious.

Lack of Energy

In many ways, the most irritating aspect of growing older is the lack of energy – my brain wants to get busy with something (an outing, some writing, even weeding the garden) but my body says, no, no, just go lie down. It is a definite dampener.

Loss of Loved Ones

And then there are the heavy issues to be faced. You lose friends, as they die. There is the ever-present possibility of a crippling disability of the body or brain of my husband or myself.

Death Itself

And the final, final worry – the Grim Reaper could show up for either of us at any time. These are not small issues, and they hang around in the background for any thoughtful person over 80.

You don’t think about these things every day. And you don’t feel death is about to happen very soon.

Lack of Certainty Beats All Other Worries

But the real issue is the lack of certainty. Something could happen at any moment. I could fall down tomorrow and be hospitalised for weeks or have a heart attack and die. Or my husband could.

The world would turn upside down on a dime.

That is the part that none of us wants to think about. Yet we must and we do. They remain a very present part of life at 80.

STOP PRESS. Two days after drafting this post, I went for an outing with my son and daughter (saw a wonderful exhibition, followed by lunch) and came home in a lovely mood to find said husband sprawled on the bathroom floor.

There was a head wound, a lot of blood everywhere, but he was conscious and not in terrible pain. I called an ambulance at once.

He spent one night in hospital for observation and has been resting since. No broken bones, but likely concussion. It transpired that he had gone for a walk, felt dizzy on returning home, fainted and hit a newel post on his way down.

I was told that head wounds produce a lot of blood. I said it looked like an axe murderer had come and gone.

No lasting damage but it does prove that I wasn’t just waffling when I said bad things can happen any time.

They just did.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you in your 80s? How do you feel about that? Have I missed some of the positive aspects of being old? Or some of the negative ones?

If you grew up in the 1970s or raised your children during that era, chances are you spent more than a few evenings watching The Waltons. Set in Depression-era Virginia, this beloved TV show became a cultural touchstone, not just for its down-to-earth characters, but for the enduring values it portrayed – family, resilience, kindness, and community.

Anybody in my close circle knows that I watch The Waltons every single night – and I mean EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! And even though most would not relish the redundancy, it’s my way of relaxing and preparing for sleep. If I had to guess, I would say I’m on my fifth time around all nine seasons.

In a world increasingly focused on speed and screens, it’s easy to dismiss shows like The Waltons as relics of the past. But for those of us who remember gathering around the TV as a family, or hearing that iconic “Goodnight, John-Boy,” we know better. The show offered something more than entertainment – it gave us a blueprint for living with heart.

Now, as women over 60, we may be navigating different seasons of life – empty nests, retirement, caregiving, or rediscovering our passions. Yet the lessons from The Waltons feel more relevant than ever. Let’s revisit those mountain memories and uncover the timeless truths still echoing through the Blue Ridge.

1. Family Isn’t Perfect – But It’s Everything

The Walton family didn’t always get along. Tempers flared, mistakes were made, and misunderstandings ran deep. Sound familiar? What made the show special was its honest portrayal of imperfect people doing their best to love one another.

In a time when families are often scattered across states – or even estranged – The Waltons reminds us that family is worth the effort. Whether it’s mending fences with a sibling, making that overdue phone call to your adult child, or passing down family stories to grandchildren, staying connected matters. It always did, and it always will.

2. Hard Times Don’t Last – But Strong People Do

Set during the Great Depression and World War II, The Waltons showed us that resilience isn’t just about enduring – it’s about adapting, growing, and keeping your values intact through it all.

Many of us have weathered our own “Depressions”: financial downturns, health challenges, losses, and reinventions. Watching the Waltons scrape by with grit and grace reminds us that we’ve got that same strength within us. We’re part of a generation that knows how to survive and thrive.

3. Simple Pleasures Are Often the Most Profound

In the world of The Waltons, a Saturday picnic, a shared pie, or reading a book aloud held more joy than any grand event. We sometimes forget that happiness doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated.

As we age, we’re rediscovering the beauty of simple pleasures: tending a garden, baking from scratch, or laughing over coffee with old friends. The show didn’t preach this – it lived it. And it gently nudges us to slow down and savor what’s right in front of us. It’s important to learn to appreciate the mundane, everyday “forgettable” moments that we so often pass right by in our daily lives.

4. Everyone Has a Role to Play – No Matter Their Age

Remember Grandma and Grandpa Walton? They weren’t shuffled off to the sidelines. They were the moral compass of the family, their wisdom valued and their presence essential. Sometimes, people become disillusioned with the show because they don’t agree with Will Geer and Ellen Corby’s off-stage personal lives, but whoever they were and whatever they did off-stage doesn’t diminish their brilliance in their roles on the screen.

In today’s youth-obsessed culture, it’s easy to feel invisible after 60. But The Waltons reminds us that elders hold stories, perspective, and strength that younger generations desperately need. Whether we’re mentoring a grandchild, volunteering, or simply living with grace and purpose, we still have so much to give.

5. Community Is the Backbone of Resilience

When neighbors needed help, the Waltons showed up – with hammers, casseroles, or open arms. There was no “every woman for herself” mentality; there was a shared responsibility for one another.

Many of us grew up in similar communities, but somewhere along the way, front porches turned into privacy fences. Maybe it’s time to bring some of that old-fashioned neighborliness back. We can initiate that book club, offer help to a lonely widow, or smile at the young mom at the grocery store. Small gestures can rebuild the village.

6. Faith and Morals Ground Us in Uncertain Times

The Waltons wasn’t preachy, but faith and ethics were always in the background, guiding decisions and shaping character. Whether it was church on Sunday or doing the right thing when no one was watching, the show gently pointed us toward integrity.

At this stage of life, many of us are seeking deeper meaning. The show reminds us that a strong moral foundation can provide peace, especially in uncertain times. You don’t have to be religious to believe in goodness, decency, and doing what’s right.

Conclusion

Watching The Waltons again – whether through reruns or just in your memory – is like opening a time capsule filled with warmth, wisdom, and a few well-earned tears. In an age of rapid change and digital noise, it quietly calls us back to what matters: faith, family, connection, and character.

You may already know about this, but Judy Norton, the actress who played Mary Ellen on The Waltons, produces pithy YouTube behind-the-scenes commentary and interviews with those who were on the show.

As women over 60, we’re not just looking back – we’re still shaping our stories. Let’s take the best of what The Waltons taught us and carry it forward. And maybe, at the end of a long day, we’ll whisper to ourselves, “Goodnight, John-Boy” – and smile.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have a favorite episode of The Waltons? If so, which one? Which of the six timeless truths in this article resonates with you the most?