The B in Michael B. Jordan stands for Bakari but also bank.

The relationship between a child and a person living with dementia can be very enriching for both. I interviewed Kathryn Harrison who has a unique window into the relationship between her own kids and her mother who had early-onset dementia.

Kathryn’s book, Weeds In Nana’s Garden, mimics real life, portraying a young girl who discovers her beloved Nana has Alzheimer’s Disease. The girl accepts the difficult changes with love, learning to take over as the garden’s caregiver.

To further promote understanding of dementia
among children, Kathryn found through experience that when her kids did things together
with Nana, it made it better for Nana. Her kids grew up with a different kind
of sensitivity and respect for older people.

As you read on, look at these activities through a different lens. Think of doing them virtually via Facetime or similar technology, particularly if a loved one is in the early stages, has a person living with them, or a caretaker comes in to help.

Singing

Singing is a natural place to start. Most
older folks like when I come and sing for them, but they LOVE when children
come and sing. And, as Kathryn noted, a young child does not care if you’re
singing “Frosty the Snowman” in July. Neither did her mother.

Dance and a Show

Well, of course, if you’re going to sing you
have to dance. Kathryn’s mother loved R&B so if she was in a grocery store
and heard it, she would start grooving! Her grandchildren wanted in on the
action.

Something that may have been embarrassing
between daughter and mother became a beautiful thing when shared with
grandchildren.

If you’re going to dance, might as well make it into a show. Boy, can I relate to this one. Years ago, when we visited our granddaughters, there was a show every night, and of course we were part of it, making use of silly clothes as costumes.  

Blowing Bubbles

Kathryn made an accidental discovery when her
kids were blowing bubbles in Nana’s garden. As her mom was sitting in the
garden, she suddenly stood up and started chasing the bubbles around. They
played with those bubbles for a long time. And even later, as the disease
progressed, they brought those bubbles out and her mom lit up.

Coloring

While there are many adult coloring books now,
coloring for adults is still a relatively new thing. One day when Kathryn’s
kids were coloring, her mom wandered over, and they colored for three hours
straight.

Kathryn bought her mom an electric pencil sharpener, and the older women sharpened those pencils and filled 12 coloring books. Kathryn actually did an Art Exhibit of her mom’s colorings because they were just so beautiful and so full of expressiveness. Coloring was a life saver, especially when the disease started taking away her speech.

Decorating

As dementia took over, Kathryn’s mom was
having trouble with being able to follow recipes, but she could throw as many
sprinkles on cookies as anyone.

While making a gingerbread house for Christmas,
Kathryn was exacting as to what went where. Mom just took the candy and dumped
it all over the roof. That dumping progressed to Christmas trees and other
things and became a family tradition of sorts.

Fun with Clay

Just like with the bubbles, taking molding
clay and just sitting outside and playing with that clay with no particular
purpose or no particular outcome was fun and cathartic. Everybody takes a ball
of clay to squish around, and it becomes something to do together.

Reading Books Together

It gets hard for folks with dementia to read
books, and that can be a point of frustration. But what Kathryn found was that
her mom had a lot of classic picture books memorized.

Nana would sit with her grandkids and “read”
the book, but she wasn’t really reading. She knew the story, and she knew what
the pages were going to say, and she would sit and read with the grandkids
using those familiar stories. Touch and feel books are also very useful.

Looking at Photos

It was also effective for Kathryn’s mom to
look at photos of their lives and just listen to everyone talk about what was
going on through photos.

Go for Walks Together

Throughout the progression of the disease,
Kathryn and her kids would take long walks with Nana. They would go down to the
lake at her mom’s community and Nana could watch the kids run around. It had
the feel of being at a park.

Picking Flowers

Kathryn’s mom believed you always needed a bouquet
of flowers in your house. If you have them outside, you should bring them
inside. In the past, when they walked in the woods, she would always gather up
big bouquets.

As the disease progressed, Kathryn’s kids
would pick the flowers for their Nana and bring them to her – in her house or,
later, to the care facility. They could be weeds but it did not matter.

Kathryn’s kids gained self-confidence by being
with Nana throughout. They became an inseparable part of the caregiver team.
They commanded a presence and a lot of the care home residents were happier
when the children visited.

In a time when It’s harder than ever to come
up with ways for young people and old to connect, it is refreshing to see just
how many things you can do together, even in a virtual setting.

Kathryn has taken that idea and gone into
schools to talk to kids. She says, “They’re just so into it. They’re just so
full of questions and so full of wanting to play a part and understand more and
help.”

Yeah, we could use a little more of that and learn
from people like Kathryn.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What activities can you do with your grandchildren? Are you using a virtual connection to be in touch? How does this help you? Have you tried connecting virtually with a loved one living with dementia? Please share in the comments below.

You’ve gone through the incredibly hard process of downsizing your house to a smaller place – maybe a much smaller place. You’ve moved, organized things, and figured out just where to put everything you took with you.

If you haven’t, you’ve probably gotten rid of more things or rented an external storage unit, for which you’re paying a not-insignificant amount every month.

But then, after you’ve settled in for some time, you’re horrified to find that spaces are beginning to fill up again! All those empty bookshelves now have books and other things on them.

It’s gradually beginning to get harder and harder to hang another new pair of jeans in the closet. The drawers in the kitchen are getting fuller and fuller, so that, again, you’re beginning to have to hold things down to close the drawer.

You realize that it’s time to STOP! Good for you!

Downsizing Is a Process, Not an Event

Over the past couple of years since my own downsizing, moving into a much smaller place, and writing of my book The Upside of Downsizing: Getting to Enough, I’ve come to believe that downsizing is not a one-time event – it’s a way of life.

And just like any other way of life, it requires constant vigilance until it is so habitual you don’t need to think about it. It’s just the way you live.

Think about a time when you decided to make some kind of significant change in your life. It may have been to stop eating red meat, or go completely vegetarian. It may have been to exercise at least 10 minutes every single day, or to get eight hours of sleep no matter what.

It may have been to cut your daily screen time by half, and then by another half. Or to have a real family dinner with conversation at least two nights a week. Or whatever else you decided was important for you and/or for your family.

Remember those first few days and weeks. Sticking to your commitment to yourself was really tough, and it took a lot of resolve and thought to keep at it. But gradually, if you did stick with it, it became easier and easier until it was just the way you live.

My Own Journey

I remember when I stopped eating red meat. It was in the mid-1980s. I was living in New York, and suddenly meat was very expensive. I had my first teaching job at a university and, although it was much more money than I had ever earned in my life, it was not a lot to live comfortably in New York City.

I decided that I would stop buying the very expensive meat so that I would have money to do other fun things I wanted to do.

Well, I had grown up in the Midwest, and every night our dinners consisted of meat, potatoes, and vegetable. Always meat. Always. So, not having meat night after night for dinner was really hard, but I did it because I wanted to be able to do other things.

Looking back now, I’m not sure when it became just the way I eat, but it definitely did. It would never occur to me now to have a big, fat hamburger or thick steak. I don’t feel deprived. I don’t long for any of those things.

And that’s the direction we need to head in when we decide to have a downsized way of life. We just don’t acquire anything without carefully thinking about it.

Stop Acquiring Before It Starts (Again)

When a new object tries to enter your life, ask yourself: “Do I really need this?” If not, “Do I really want it?” If so, “Where will it go? What will I get rid of to make room for it? What if I wait one week until I get it?” After the week is over, if you still want it, go ahead.

You can also keep a bag in the corner of the room. As you come across things you realize you don’t need, put them in the bag, promising yourself that anything that goes in doesn’t come out, unless it really, truly went in by mistake. (Or it belongs to someone else and they suddenly realized it’s missing and want it back.)

We Are Enough

For many of us, it’s important to remember that we are enough. Just the way we are. We are complete. We are ourselves. There’s never been another person like us, and there never will be again.

There may sometimes be things about ourselves we’d like to change, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong now. There’s just something we decide we’d like to make different about how we are in the world.

Fundamentally, you’re still you, I’m still me, and we’re both just fine the way we are. We are enough, and we don’t need to add anything to be more OK, in spite of all the advertising messages we get every day telling us, how much better or happier we’ll be after we buy whatever they’re selling.

Choosing a downsizing way of life is not necessarily an easy way to go. Many of us have spent a lifetime acquiring, acquiring, acquiring… and then holding onto a thing “just in case we need it again.”

What we are committing to today is to no longer live that way. Going forward, we will strive to live with “just enough,” not too much, and not too little.

I’d love to hear from you about how it’s going for you. I’ve committed to it, and I still need to remind myself every day. Find a friend who would like to try this with you. Let’s help each other.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What does downsizing mean to you? How do you accomplish it each day? What do you do to stop yourself from accumulating more stuff than you need? Please share your thoughts with our community!

Selecting the perfect grandma of the bride dress is an important decision. This is a meaningful day, and the right dress should reflect both elegance and comfort, allowing grandmothers to feel confident and cherished. The ideal dress balances sophistication with practicality, ensuring that it aligns with the wedding theme while also being comfortable for long hours of celebration.

Here are our 5 favourite grandma of the bride dresses:

1. Adrianna Papell Plus Size Beaded Blouson Mermaid Gown – This gown is perfect for black-tie and formal events. 
2. Alex Evenings Lace & Satin Jacket Dress with Open Jacket – A classic long dress paired with a matching lace jacket. This option offers a polished and timeless look.
3. Jessica Howard Jersey Taffeta 3/4 Sleeve Portrait Collar Ruched A-Line Midi Dress at Dillard’s – This elegant A-line midi dress features a sophisticated portrait collar, ruched waist, and 3/4-length sleeves.
4. R&M Richard’s Metallic Pleated Caplet Gown with Rhinestone Detailing – This floor-length metallic pleated gown features a stunning capelet overlay with delicate rhinestone detailing at the neckline.
5. Maya Brooke Jacket Dress Plus at JCPenny’s – This coordinated set includes a beautifully embroidered jacket over a sleek knee-length sheath dress. 

Keep reading to discover more grandma of the bride dresses. There’s sure to be one to catch your eye!

Top 10 Grandma of the Bride Dresses

Here are ten exquisite dresses that offer both style and comfort for grandmothers on this special day.

Adrianna Papell Plus Size Beaded Blouson Mermaid Gown

The Adrianna Papell Plus Size Beaded Blouson Mermaid Gown in French Blue is an elegant choice for formal occasions. This gown features a blouson bodice with a V-neckline and sheer dolman sleeves, providing a flattering and comfortable fit. The soft mermaid skirt adds a touch of sophistication to the overall silhouette. The dress is lined through the body and overlaid with sheer mesh adorned with sparkling beadwork, creating a timeless and glamorous look.

This gown is perfect for black-tie and formal events. Pair it with nude heels and a contrasting clutch to complete the grandma of the bride outfit.

Alex Evenings Lace & Satin Jacket Dress with Open Jacket

A classic long dress paired with a matching lace jacket, this option offers a polished and timeless look. The structured lace bodice and flowing skirt create a flattering silhouette, while the lace jacket adds a touch of sophistication and coverage. Ideal for both formal and semi-formal weddings.

Jessica Howard Jersey Taffeta 3/4 Sleeve Portrait Collar Ruched A-Line Midi Dress at Dillard’s

This elegant A-line midi dress features a sophisticated portrait collar, ruched waist, and 3/4-length sleeves. The combination of jersey and taffeta creates a flattering silhouette, while the structured design ensures a polished look. Ideal for casual or semi-formal weddings.

R&M Richard’s Metallic Pleated Caplet Gown with Rhinestone Detailing

This floor-length metallic pleated gown features a stunning capelet overlay with delicate rhinestone detailing at the neckline. The soft pleats provide movement and elegance, making it an excellent choice for formal weddings. The draped silhouette flatters various body types while offering a comfortable fit for an evening of celebration.

Maya Brooke Jacket Dress Plus at JCPenny’s

This coordinated set includes a beautifully embroidered jacket over a sleek sheath dress. The knee-length cut provides comfort and ease of movement, while the detailed embroidery gives a polished and elegant appearance.

Teri Jon by Rickie Freeman Metallic Jacquard Shirt Dress Gown at Bloomingdale’s

A sophisticated metallic jacquard shirt dress gown featuring a tailored silhouette with a full skirt, structured collar, and button-up bodice. This dress blends timeless elegance with modern styling, making it a standout choice for formal weddings. The fabric shimmers under light, adding a subtle yet striking effect.

Pisarro Nights Beaded Mesh Gown with Jacket from Nordstrom

This beaded mesh gown features intricate hand-sewn embellishments and a lightweight silhouette, perfect for grandmothers who love vintage-inspired fashion. The embroidered jacket with sheer sleeves add a refined touch, making this dress a standout choice for formal weddings.

Komarov Charmeuse & Chiffon Dress with Jacket from Nordstrom

This elegant dress set features a flowing charmeuse and chiffon dress with a matching jacket, providing both sophistication and coverage. The lightweight printed fabric drapes beautifully, creating a flattering silhouette perfect for semi-formal and outdoor weddings.

Betsy & Adam Metallic Crinkled Gown from Macy’s

This floor-length metallic crinkled gown features a flowing skirt and a beautifully draped bodice, offering a flattering and glamorous silhouette. The subtle shimmer adds elegance, making it perfect for formal weddings. The dress provides both comfort and sophistication.

SL Fashions Petite Embellished Cape-Overlay Sheath Dress from Macy’s

This knee-length sheath dress features an elegant cape overlay with subtle embellishments, offering both sophistication and coverage. The streamlined silhouette flatters the figure, making it an excellent choice for semi-formal and garden weddings.

What to Look for in a Grandma of the Bride Dress

When selecting a dress, consider the following factors:

• Comfort: Choose soft, breathable fabrics like chiffon, crepe, or lace to ensure all-day comfort.
• Fit: Look for a silhouette that flatters your body type, such as A-line, empire waist, or sheath styles.
• Appropriate Length: Midi and tea-length dresses offer a balance of elegance and practicality, while full-length gowns provide a more formal option.
• Sleeve Style: Consider the wedding season when choosing between sleeveless, short sleeves, or long-sleeved dresses.
• Color Coordination: Go for hues that complement the wedding’s color scheme without overpowering the bridal party.

Where to Shop for Grandma of the Bride Dresses

Several retailers offer stylish and elegant dresses for grandmothers of the bride:

• Adrianna Papell – Known for intricate beaded and elegant formalwear.
• Alex Evenings – Offers stylish and sophisticated dresses designed for special occasions like weddings.
• Dillard’s – Have a great selection of timeless and contemporary styles to choose from.
• R&M Richard’s – Specializes in elegant and modest designs, perfect for formal and black-tie occasions.
• JCPenny – Offers affordable and versatile formal and semi-formal dresses for the grandma of the bride.
• Macy’s – Offers both budget-friendly and high-end options.
• Bloomingdale’s – Designer dresses for those looking for premium quality.
• Nordstrom – Has designer and brand name grandmother of the bride dresses to fit every budget. 

How to Style Your Look

To complete your wedding day outfit, consider these styling tips:

• Accessories: Go for understated yet elegant jewelry, such as pearl earrings or a delicate bracelet.
• Footwear: Choose comfortable heels, wedges, or embellished flats that offer support.

Read more: 16 Wedding Guest Shoes for Older Ladies

• Outerwear: A matching bolero, shawl, or elegant wrap can provide extra coverage.

Read more: 10 Trendy Ponchos, Stylish Shawls, and Fashionable Wraps

• Hairstyle and Makeup: A classic updo or soft curls with natural, radiant makeup enhances your overall look without overshadowing the bride.

Read more: 10 Wedding Hairstyles for Women Over 50

By carefully selecting the right dress and accessories, grandmothers of the bride can look and feel their best while celebrating this joyous occasion.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is your granddaughter getting married? Will you be needing a grandma of the bride dress? What type of dress is your favorite for this special occasion? Tell us about it in the comments below. 

We don’t want to say goodbye to Joel.