Author: HairWeavings Editorial Team

I am usually a very reasonable person. I taught mathematics, for heaven’s sake, and that is the most logical science in the world! But I was afraid. It was such an irrational fear that I was embarrassed to admit it.

The Fear

I had/have claustrophobia. There. I said it. I admit it. And for years I could hide it because there was no reason to face this particular fear. No one ever asked me to go spelunking, but if they had, I could just invent some reason why I couldn’t go.

But things changed recently when the doctor told me I needed a CAT scan. I was honest with her and admitted my phobia, and I was surprised at her reaction. She casually brushed aside my confession!

In response, I said, “No, really. I cannot do this. I have claustrophobia!” Then she assured me that it was easy and short, but I was still not convinced that I could do it. She agreed to give me a 3-month window to prepare myself.

In Preparation

During this mental preparation time I discovered an app on my phone to help people calm their breathing and slow their heart rate. So, I used the app twice a day, beginning with only one minute of deep breathing. Each week I increased the time until I reached 5 minutes. I noticed that the more I did this, the slower my heart rate became, which was one intended outcome.

I also watched different YouTube videos of people having CAT scans, trying to prepare myself for the actual event. I could do this! It was only five minutes long, and five minutes was a drop in the bucket. I was already deep breathing for 5 minutes, so I knew the rhythm of the timing. Finally, I had hope that I could succeed.

Since I was already in the habit of breathing with the app, I kept that up and even increased to 6 minutes, just in case. In addition, I added another element to help pass the time. I needed something to occupy my mind during the imaging.

I chose 3 inspirational passages from the Bible because they were familiar and uplifting to me, and they lasted a total of about 5 minutes, so I recorded myself reading them. Each day as I practiced my breathing, I played that recording. I knew most of the words by heart, but just hearing it was comforting.

What Happened During the Test

Early morning on D-Day, I wrote down my feelings in my journal. I also made a list of why I knew I could do this. Here it is for your reading pleasure:

• This will not hurt.
• It will be quick – only 5-6 minutes.
• There are no needles or scalpels involved.
• I have prepared!
• There is no risk involved.
• My children and grandchildren will be so proud of me for facing and conquering my fears.
• I am strong-willed. Weaker-willed people have done this, so I can too!

I went to the imaging center alone, and when I was called back to the imaging room by the tech, I told him I had come to slay my dragon, my fear. He was very understanding, thankfully.

He told me to lay down on the table, he positioned me correctly, and then he slid the table into the machine. I gulped. It was so close to my face! I was not prepared for that! If I had stuck out my tongue, I could have licked it!

“Take me out,” I yelled. “Take me out now. I can’t do this!”

He did, and I nearly cried as I said, “I need to do this, but it is so hard. Why am I so afraid?”

And he quietly told me, “Everyone is afraid of something. This is just your thing.”

“I have to do this,” I said. “I have to conquer this fear.”

Then he told me I could speak during the scan, and I knew what to do. As he pushed me into the donut-shaped machine, I closed my eyes tightly, and I began to quote the Bible verses I had listened to for those many days while deep breathing.

I knew that if I could quote those verses, the imaging would finish about the same time my recitation did. I concentrated on quoting, and when I got to the end of the verses, it was over.

I Made It

It was finished!

I had done it.

I had slain the dragon of fear.

It was my first step in conquering claustrophobia, and I felt like I had won a gold medal in the Olympics. I wanted to tell the world! What a day! What a victory! What an accomplishment!

Sometimes we need to slay our dragon just to prove to ourselves that we can.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

So, what is your dragon? What is your fear? And what small steps can you take to conquer or meet that fear? It might help you to write this down to give you a target at which to aim. Whatever your fear, whatever your dragon, may you also find a way to take a step toward conquering it.

Whether it comes unexpectedly or after a long illness, losing a spouse is traumatic at best. At worst it can be debilitating. I know because, at age 35, I became a widow myself.

While many people want to help, it can be difficult to know how to approach someone consumed by such overwhelming grief. And unfortunately, the result is many people end up feeling paralyzed and offer no help at all.

If you’re struggling with how to help a newly widowed friend, here are 11 suggestions.

Read more: Love, Loss, and Life After – A Practical Guide for Widows.

Bring Food, But Coordinate with Others

When tragedy hits, people tend to show up with casseroles, cookies and other edibles. That can be a perfect response. It is particularly good if your friend has kids or grandkids in the house to feed. However, good intentions can quickly overwhelm a grieving family if they receive multiple meals in a single day.

Try a website such as TakeThemAMeal or SignUpGenius to coordinate with other family and friends. Not only does this ensure your friend is getting one meal a day, but it helps avoid duplicates of the same meal within a week.

Come and Clean Her House

It’s not unusual for someone in mourning to struggle with even basic tasks. Help your friend by cleaning the house or weeding the garden. Alternatively, arrange for a handyman to come in and take care of all the items that formerly may have landed on her honey-do list. Again, sites like SignUpGenius and CareCalendar can help a group of friends coordinate on these tasks.

Suggest Ways to Help Rather Than Ask

Here’s the catch. If you ask your friend whether she wants help, she could say no even if she really is floundering. “We’re doing ok but thanks” was my standard response when someone asked if they could do something for us. That was one-part pride talking, one-part denial.

Plus, people in the thick of grief often have no idea what they need. They are in shock and can barely get out of bed in the morning. They cannot articulate how someone can make their life better. To help them out, try not to say, “What can I do to help?” Instead try, “I’d like to come over on Saturday afternoon to weed your garden. Is that ok?”

This phrasing makes it easy for your friend to accept while still giving her the opportunity to decline if she really wants to be alone.

Read more: How to Best Support a Widow Without Making Empty Promises.

Send a Card When You Don’t Know What to Say

Death leaves us feeling helpless, and everything we say seems woefully inadequate. If you don’t know what to say on the phone or in person, send your friend a card. Every card I received after my husband’s death was a comfort. They reminded me other people cared and hadn’t forgotten about me.

Skip platitudes about it being God’s will or that he’s in a better place. Those things may be true, depending on your beliefs, but they are not comforting. Instead, say you’re sorry and then follow up with a sentence or two about your friend’s spouse. For example, say, “I’ll always remember when ________” or “I loved how he ________.” He was important to her, she wants to hear he was important to others too.

Read more: Widowhood Stories: What Can Go Wrong, Will Go Wrong and HAS Gone Wrong.

Talk About Your Friend’s Spouse

Along those same lines, don’t make your friend’s spouse a taboo subject. Too many people seem to want to bury all mention of the deceased. And I get that. People are concerned about upsetting a widow or aren’t sure what they would do if she started crying.

It’s awkward for us too. However, it’s even worse to think everyone has moved on with their lives and forgotten our husbands. Don’t be afraid to mention his name and point out things he’d love or happy memories you have of him. If your friend starts crying, say I’m sorry and that you miss him too. Don’t feel like you have to fill the space with any more than that.

Mark Your Calendar with Her Important Dates

At a certain point, everyone else’s life does go on. That’s to be expected, but don’t forget that your friend is still grieving. There is no expiration date on her pain.

Milestone dates like birthdays, anniversaries and the date of a spouse’s death can be especially difficult. Make a note of these dates in your calendar and when the day arrives, reach out to your friend with a card, call or text. Let her know you haven’t forgotten and that you’re thinking about her.

Offer to Take the Kids on a Fun Outing

If your friend is caring for kids or grandkids, find an opportunity to take them out for the day. A couple of my friends did just that, and it gave my kids a welcome distraction while providing me with some much-needed time alone at the house.

To make it easy for your friend to accept your offer, don’t make it sound like you’re going out of your way to make the invitation. It’s not that she would be ungrateful, but widows can be reluctant to accept help if they feel like they’re being a burden on others.

It’s easier to say yes to something like “We’re planning to see a movie and wondered if the kids would like to come along” rather than “Let us take the kids off your hands for a day.”

Invite Your Friend Out for the Day

Invite your friend to coffee, lunch or a movie. Or anything else you would have done together prior to her husband’s death. Becoming a widow can be an isolating experience. People don’t always know what to say so they say nothing at all. Don’t avoid your friend but continue to include her in activities as you did in the past.

Sometimes your friend really might want to be alone, or the thought of doing an activity that she used to do with her spouse may be overwhelming. Even if she declines a few times, keep asking, she will appreciate the thought that you haven’t forgotten about her and will say yes when she is ready. 

Provide Compassion, Not Pity

This is a tough one because there is a fine line between compassion and pity. While I can’t speak for all widows, I must say that I hit a point where it seemed like everyone looked at me with sad eyes and gave the verbal equivalent of “oh, you poor thing.” It was tiring to feel like I had somehow become defined solely by my circumstances.

The first time you see a new widow, please by all means share your deep sorrow for her loss. But don’t dwell on it for each subsequent conversation. Hearing “I don’t know how you do it” over and over again is a good way for your friend to start wondering: how does she do it? Have normal conversations with her.

Understand When She Says ‘No’ Or Doesn’t Want to Talk

Everyone grieves differently. Some widows want to be surrounded by others; they want to talk about their husbands to anyone and everyone. Others prefer to stay home alone and process this loss on their own. How people deal with loss changes as time goes on.

So don’t take it personally when your friend declines your invitations or offers for help. And don’t badger her into accepting either. The compassionate thing to do is to reach out every couple of weeks to let her know you’re thinking about her. Tell her that you’d love to see her when she’s ready.

Encourage Her to Join a Support Group

Losing a spouse is an incredibly isolating experience, and while with all good intentions you may offer comfort, sometimes the best support comes from those who truly understand. Grief support groups provide a safe space for widows to share their feelings, hear others’ experiences, and gain reassurance that they are not alone in their journey.  

Not everyone will want to discuss their grief right away, and that’s okay. However, gently suggesting local widow support groups or online communities can give her an option to connect with others when she’s ready. These groups can provide encouragement, advice, and a sense of camaraderie without pressure to share more than she’s comfortable with.  

Kate, a Sixty & Me reader, suggested the international support group Soaring Spirits, a nonprofit organization that offers both in-person and virtual support for widows. Their programs include peer support groups, regional meetups, and even weekend retreats specifically designed to help widows navigate life after loss. Soaring Spirits also hosts Camp Widow, a unique event where widows can connect, heal, and find hope in a supportive environment.  

Encouraging your friend to explore support options – whether it’s a structured group, an informal coffee meetup, or an online forum – can help her feel less alone as she moves through grief at her own pace.

Further reading, AFTER HEARTBREAK, NEW WIDOWS MUST REVISIT THEIR FINANCES.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you a widow? What’s the best thing someone did for you after your spouse died? Please share your story.

In recent years, wellness travel has emerged as a significant trend, offering travelers an opportunity to maintain or enhance their well-being on the go. Wellness travel prioritizes health and mindfulness and fosters a sense of balance and purpose, making it a popular choice for those looking to improve their quality of life. Whether you’re a seasoned traveler or planning your first wellness getaway, understanding the diverse types of wellness travel, considerations for planning, and top destinations is essential.

Types of Wellness Travel

Wellness travel encompasses a wide range of activities and experiences, catering to varying preferences and needs. Some popular types include:

Yoga and Meditation Retreats

These retreats focus on promoting mindfulness through daily yoga practices and guided meditation sessions, often set in serene natural environments. Ideal for those looking to disconnect from the hustle and bustle of life and find inner peace.

Additional read, 9 Yoga Retreats for Women Over 50.

Spiritual and Healing Retreats

These places offer spiritual enrichment and healing therapies like reiki, energy healing, and chakra balancing. They often involve workshops and activities aimed at emotional growth and self-discovery.

Fitness and Adventure Retreats

Designed for active individuals, these retreats include activities like hiking, surfing, and mountain climbing, combined with nutritional guidance and fitness training. Perfect for those seeking physical challenge and a sense of accomplishment.

Also read, Soft Adventures for Women Over 50 – Hiking, Kayaking, and More!

Holistic Wellness Retreats

These combine physical, mental, and spiritual wellness elements, offering a diverse range of activities such as detox programs, spa treatments, and life-coaching sessions. This is a holistic approach to well-being, integrating all aspects of health.

Planning Your Wellness Travel Trip

When considering a wellness travel journey, keep the following factors in mind to ensure a fulfilling experience:

Define Your Goals

Determine what you wish to achieve from the trip – be it relaxation, spiritual growth, physical fitness, or a combination of these. Having clear objectives will help in selecting the right type of retreat.

Research Destinations and Programs

Investigate potential destinations and their wellness offerings to find those that align with your goals. Read reviews and testimonials from past participants to gauge the quality and authenticity of the experiences.

Budget Considerations

Wellness travel can range from affordable to luxurious. Set a realistic budget and explore options within that range. Consider all-inclusive packages that can offer better value for money.

Travel Logistics

Consider the travel logistics, including proximity to the retreat, ease of access, and any travel restrictions or visa requirements. Ensure that the travel itself does not add unnecessary stress.

Health and Safety Precautions

Given the current global health climate, ensure that the destination adheres to health and safety protocols. Verify the availability of health services at your chosen destination.

Spotlight on Wellness Destinations

Several destinations stand out for their exceptional wellness travel offerings, each providing unique experiences that cater to different wellness needs.

The Farm at San Benito, Philippines

Nestled in lush tropical forests, The Farm at San Benito is a sanctuary that combines the best of natural healing and science-based treatment programs. This wellness haven provides unique detox retreats and weight management programs crafted by healthcare experts. Guests can engage in daily yoga, farm-to-table dining experiences, and complimentary meditation sessions inspired by the surrounding tranquility, aiming to cleanse the body and restore balance.

Four Seasons Resort Maui at Wailea, Hawaii

Located on the stunning shores of Maui, this resort offers a wellness program that captures the spirit of aloha. Visitors embark on daily group hikes atop scenic trails with panoramic ocean views and explore indigenous treatments using local volcanic stones for therapeutic massages. Expanding beyond traditional spa services, guests enjoy diagnostic health consultations and stem cell therapies, complemented by tailored vitamin shots and luxurious spa treatments for complete revitalization.

Canyon Ranch, Arizona, USA

The iconic Canyon Ranch is renowned for its integrative wellness programs that embrace both modern science and holistic healing traditions. Situated in the picturesque Sonoran Desert, clients can indulge in tailor-made health packages like the Longevity8, which harmonizes physical activity with personalized nutrition and mental wellness strategies. Canyon Ranch promotes collective wellness, encouraging shared hiking expeditions, group cooking classes, and community-led mindfulness practices, creating an atmosphere of support and shared growth.

Como Shambhala Estate, Bali, Indonesia

Perched among Bali’s serene rice terraces, the Como Shambhala Estate offers a retreat that embraces holistic healing aligned with the cultural heart of its surroundings. Visitors are guided through personalized wellness programs that incorporate yoga, Pilates, and cultural experiences like traditional Balinese healing rituals.

Known for its ayurvedic treatments and wellness cuisine, the estate combines Eastern philosophies with Western health knowledge to provide a fully immersive rejuvenation experience.

Kamalaya Koh Samui, Thailand

Kamalaya Koh Samui is a multi-award-winning wellness sanctuary and holistic spa that gently immerses guests into a secluded world of lush landscapes and luxury accommodations. Its signature programs cover detoxification, stress management, and emotional balance, utilizing the ancient practices of traditional Chinese medicine. Attendees can dive into invigorating therapies such as herbal steam caves and plunge pools or enjoy peaceful retreats based on Eastern healing traditions, all amidst the tranquil beauty of Thailand’s captivating natural scenery.

Embrace the Wellness Revolution

As wellness travel continues to gain momentum, it stands as a testament to the increasing desire for meaningful and health-focused experiences. Whether it’s a yoga retreat on a secluded beach, a spiritual journey in the mountains, or a luxurious spa experience in a rainforest, the possibilities are endless.

By understanding the different types of wellness travel, planning thoughtfully, and choosing the right destination, you can embark on a journey that not only revitalizes your body but also enriches your soul. So pack your bags and prepare to explore the world with a fresh perspective, one that harmonizes adventure and self-care.

Let’s Discuss:

Would you go to a wellness retreat? What would be your goal? If you have already visited one or more such places, what could you share about them? Please join the conversation!

Plus, ABC’s replacement for the show.

As we age, home modifications can become essential for safety and comfort. However, the cost of renovations can be a major barrier. Fortunately, several home renovation grants for seniors in the USA can help cover these expenses. Do you need to install a wheelchair ramp? Modify your bathroom? Or maybe upgrade the insulation? There are programs available to assist. This guide explores the best home renovation grants for seniors, eligibility requirements, and how to apply.

Continue reading to find out if a home renovation grant is right for you and if you qualify. 

What Are Home Renovation Grants for Seniors?

Home renovation grants for seniors are financial assistance programs designed to help older adults make necessary modifications to their homes. These grants are often provided by federal, state, and local governments, as well as non-profit organizations. Unlike loans, grants do not need to be repaid, making them an attractive option for seniors on a fixed income.

Read more: Do You Know Your Household Net Worth?

Who Qualifies for Home Renovation Grants?

Eligibility criteria vary depending on the grant program, but common requirements include:

• Age: Typically, applicants must be 60 years or older.
• Income: Many programs have income limits to ensure assistance goes to those in need.
• Homeownership: Most grants require applicants to own and reside in the home needing repairs.
• Specific Needs: Some grants prioritize individuals with disabilities or those requiring essential safety modifications.

Read more: Get Your Docs in a Row: Make this the Year You Get Your House in Order.

What Government Programs Offer Home Renovation Grants for Seniors?

Several federal programs provide home renovation grants for seniors. Here are some of the most well-known options:

USDA Section 504 Home Repair Program

What it offers: Up to $10,000 in grants for seniors to remove health and safety hazards.

Eligibility: Must be 62 years or older, own the home, and meet low-income requirements.

How to apply: Visit USDA’s website or contact your local USDA office.

The Community Development Block Grant (CDBG)

What it offers: Funds allocated to local governments to improve housing conditions, including home renovations for seniors.

Eligibility: Varies by location; seniors should check with their local housing department.

How to apply: Visit HUD’s website or contact your local housing agency.

VA Specially Adapted Housing (SAH) Grant

What it offers: Up to $109,986 in 2024 for veterans with service-related disabilities to modify their homes.

Eligibility: Veterans with qualifying disabilities.

How to apply: Visit the VA website or contact a local VA office.

Low-Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP)

What it offers: Financial help for energy-related home improvements, such as insulation and heating upgrades.

Eligibility: Low-income households, including seniors.

How to apply: Visit the LIHEAP website to find your state’s LIHEAP office.

Are There State and Local Home Renovation Grants for Seniors?

In addition to federal programs, many states and municipalities offer grants for seniors needing home modifications. These programs vary by location, so it’s best to check with:

• State housing agencies
• Area Agencies on Aging
• Local non-profits and community organizations

For example, California’s CalHome Program provides grants for senior homeowners, while Florida’s SHIP (State Housing Initiatives Partnership) Program assists with home repairs.

How Can Seniors Apply for Home Renovation Grants?

Applying for home renovation grants for seniors involves several steps:

• Identify Eligibility: Research available programs and determine if you meet the criteria.
• Gather Documentation: Common requirements include proof of income, homeownership, and identification.
• Submit Applications: Applications can often be completed online, by mail, or in person through the administering agency.
• Wait for Approval: Processing times vary, so follow up if necessary.

What Other Financial Assistance Options Exist for Senior Home Repairs?

If grants are unavailable, you can explore:

• Low-interest loans from government programs like the USDA and HUD.
• Non-profit organizations, such as Rebuilding Together, which provides free home repairs for low-income seniors.
• Tax credits and deductions for home modifications that improve accessibility.

Read more: Personal Loans: Do You Know How to Get One?

Are There Ways to Increase Your Chances of Getting a Home Repair Grant?

To improve the likelihood of receiving a home renovation grant, consider these tips:

• Apply Early: Some programs have limited funding and operate on a first-come, first-served basis.
• Ensure Accuracy: Double-check that all information provided in your application is correct to prevent delays.
• Provide Supporting Documents: Include all required paperwork, such as proof of income and homeownership, to strengthen your application.
• Seek Assistance: Many organizations offer free help with completing applications, such as local housing agencies and non-profits.
• Explore Multiple Options: Don’t limit yourself to just one program; apply for multiple grants to increase your chances of approval.
• Stay Updated: Check government websites regularly for updates on grant availability and deadlines.

Home Renovation Grants for Seniors: Frequently Asked Questions

Is there a program to help seniors with home repairs?

Yes, several programs help seniors with home repairs, including the USDA Section 504 Home Repair Program, HUD grants, and state-funded initiatives.

Can seniors get free home renovations?

Some grants cover the full cost of home modifications, while others may require partial contributions.

What home improvements are covered by senior renovation grants?

Common improvements include wheelchair ramps, grab bars, bathroom modifications, and energy-efficient upgrades.

How long does it take to get approved for a home renovation grant?

Processing times vary by program but typically range from a few weeks to several months.

Where can seniors find more information about home renovation grants?

Seniors can visit government websites like HUD.gov, Benefits.gov, and their state housing agencies for more details.

Home renovation grants for seniors can make a significant difference in improving safety, comfort, and independence. By exploring available programs, you may find that you qualify for financial assistance for much-needed home modifications.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you benefited from a home renovation grant in the past? Are you interested in applying for a senior home renovation grant? Do you know any home renovation grants for seniors in your state? Tell us about it in the comments below.